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#MemeQueen Luca Torchwick · (02-04-2016)

I'm taking back the crown.

Hey XWF!

Guess what. Pest, that's right, the fucking Pest, the guy who's only at his semi-relevant but not really state because of how he'll talk mad shit even when it's fucking terrible shit talk and it makes him look like a fuccboi, is too scared to say a single thing about Luca Arzegotti proper. No, all he's content to do is talk about Austin and just kinda namedrop that Luca boy as if he thinks just saying my name enough is gonna make people think he can even hope to counter the ass ripping he's getting every time my mouth open and his name comes out.

So, unless Pest is watching the clock, waiting for me to enter the level of highness I do right before a match where I'm too fucked up to respond to anything he'll say which is a very real possibility because he's a cowardly ass #fuccboi, I'll have the first and last word on him.

All because he's shook and scared to look in my eyes.

Because he knows all his bullshit won't stand up. It won't even fall flat. It'll plummet to the earth and shatter into a million pieces in a manner befitting on the weak fire he spits.

Some weakly put together made in China type shit.

Meanwhile dat Luca boy is spitting premium grade-A made in the motherfuckin' USA type fire that burns down more straw huts than that Vietnam War Pest ties himself but since he's a bullshit artist (and not a good one at that) by nature we can't really confirm whether or not that's actually true.

Austin's spitting that premium grade-A made in the motherfuckin' USA type fire too and the homie ain't even from the country!

Are you happy, Pest? I said the USA, not America because that's one of your pest peeves for no reason other than the fact that you're a pretentious cunt. Please, if you do open your mouth about me, talk about that America shit. Bring up all the irrelevant bullshit you love so much since it's the closest you'll come to a direct hit at dat Luca boy.

What else can you do?

Nothing, judging from your absolute refusal to say anything to me. At all. Coming from the guy who complained at the beginning of the week that none of his opponents would be able to survive in the wilderness. Because, as you all know, your ability to do the things you learn in Boy Scouts is so important to finding success as a wrestler. Well, as someone who never did Boy Scouts let me just relinquish all these titles I won and hand all these accolades and memorable moments over to you, Pest. Since you are obviously the best at living off the land, you deserve all my success.

Hahahahaha is this fuccboi serious?

And of course, since he actually thought that was top tier flame work since he started off the week with that, he treats Austin like the idiot when he brings up the only survival skills necessary in the world of wrestling. Again, as could be the tagline to Pest's whole career, he lacks the self-awareness to realize when he fucks up and he goes down with the ship.

Every time.

And that's a lot of times.

Hey Pest!

In my last promo I said to Peter "Your record against me in 0 - like five million at this point."

See, I actually had an audible slip of the tongue. Like the ones Austin called you on. So while you call him on completely inaudible mistakes, here I am actually fucking up and where are you?

Nowhere.

Crickets up in this bitch.

Because you'd rather run and hide than face your grim reaper.

I love how you call Austin on having a shifting personality when here I am, going from depressed and insane to calm, collected, and wise cracking at the drop of a fucking dime.

Nothing.

Oh but Austin's aping me?

Nah, that's an excuse from you fuccboi. You're scared to have to call me on the same thing because you know I'll fuck your shit up the second you do so you move the goalposts so you can target just Austin.

Okay yeah I get it.

Austin is aping me so hard *wink*.

You're really good at this, Pest.

The best.

Really.

Wait, he did make one crack at me. In the whole thing.

Austin has a useless as fuck partner.

Coming from the guy who got pinned by the Dimallisher the first time you faced Team Special for the tag titles? Ooh Pest, I can really feel the self loathing launching off of you and trying to cling to me. It smells like trying too hard to be edgy.

That's your whole aesthetic, ain't it though? You want people to fear you, but really you don't do anything to make us. Oh, you rape teenage girls (which is sketchy at best #fuccboi), that's supposed to make you a threat to grown-ass men and women.

The same guy who can't even tell his partner that claiming to be about what the people want while simultaneously claiming to be the thing that goes bump in the night is not a fucking smart idea.

And this guy is supposed to be horrifying?

Horrifyingly insipid, maybe.

Keep on playing monster Pest. If you keep the performance up the way you have been, I won't have to plaster all those bits calling you into question every fucking where. Because you'll prove how full of shit you are on your own.

Hey, Robbie.

I have to say, I like you more than Pest. You're actually man enough to say something, even if it is "L-O-L I'm gonna beat Luca up!" It's something. Unlike your partner. Gotta ask, why didn't you tell him to pick it up a little? You're partners right? Friends even, maybe? Hell man I won't judge, Stockholm Syndrome can be a bitch and a half I've heard. Still, you got to have some vested interest in not seeing your partner destroyed so thoroughly without defending himself in any way whatsoever right?

So why didn't you say something?

Is it because all I am is "a head case with a problem with the nose candy". While that may be true, it hits like a pillow. Ouch, that hurt. Really, that's the best you got? The guy who talks about how he's gonna beat me up can't beat me up verbally at all?

I want you guys to.

Seriously.

I want to eat that hot fire but the only hot fire I'm interacting with comes when I spit the shit or when I see my nigga Austin spit it. Not from you. Not from Peter. Not from Dim and definitely not from Pest.

So, please Robbie. While you keep on trying to defend yourself from that scenario I invented off the top of my head, just remember.

You're the opponent I like.

And I'm still gonna fuck you up.

Lastly, I just want to say for the record, and I'll make sure it's loud enough for Pest's hearing aid to pick up.

IF PEST DECIDES TO TALK SHIT AFTER THIS HITS THE AIRWAVES, HE CONFIRMS ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT HE'S AFRAID OF ME.

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