I'm back. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee While we were gone, I got pregnant twice, and had two abortions. Yussss. And, I mastered a new skill. I am now able successfully shit into a strainer and pot, so that I can use my ass liquid as a lubricant during anal sex. I am now a master of all facets of anal sex. Which is something I know Italian Cowboi, and what kind of name is that? He wishes he was a master of, because once I break him in the ring, he'll lose the ability to fuck anyway other than taking it in his ass. If you're missing my not so subtle cues, Cowboi has no fucking shot of winning this thing. Not in the least. I will shove his head straight up my asshole, it's pregaped, and suffocate him with my fucking farts. Or, I will shove your face into my vag until I cum, and drown you in my cum. There is a 99% chance you will get AIDs. But, you know, not my problem. Not my problem at all, bitch boy. What will be my problem is that after I leave you paralyzed in the ring, and your dick stops working, I will have no place to sit. Such a damn shame.

Is Code Red even a factor at all? I mean, the guy vanishes from the federation, and then comes back trying to talk like he's hard. Sweetie, I've seen that little thing you hose down the urinal wall with, it isn't hard enough to pleasure a virgin. Hell, it isn't big enough or hard enough to hurt a virgin. Shit, boy, you're not even big or hard enough to identify as a man properly. I'm not sure you're even able to consider yourself a boy in most states. Don't you have to explain that your micropenis doesn't count as a vagina? Girl, do you identify as a lesbian with that impossible to please a girl pecker? Hey, I got the perfect thing for you. It'll make you feel like more of a man. I promise.



That way you can shove it up your sissy little slop hole that you're calling a dick. Something will stick out, and you'll actually have something that resembles a dick in your pants. Maybe your dad will actually love you, then. You can then cover up those stupid as fuck tattoos until you get the money to get them removed, that way you can actually present yourself in public as something more than a failure and Mountain Dew Wannabe. Cause, you know, you stole your name from a shitty version of Mountain Dew.

And you, Drezdin. Should I really focus on you? You can barely speak English, you never look good in your matches, and you're a constant bitch boy. You're a walking pity party, on John Black levels. Except, he'd actually beat you in a match. Ding ding mother fucking ding. We have finally found someone more useless than John Black. I would tell you to kill yourself, but you'd probably fuck that up real bad. In fact, I'm struggling to think of something that you wouldn't fuck up. Oh, I know. Being useless. Keep that up, man. You're good at being a useless tampon. Do you know how fucking sad that is? You're so bad I can't even find something for you to do without fucking it up. You do shame to the Canadian Education system. You do shame to your parents. You do shame to the fucking country of Canada, and the North American Cuntinent. You shame the entire human race, you miserable mongoloid. Fuck, eat shit and go lick Dim's asshole.



Maria wakes up in the middle of some random street. Her skirt is pushed up to reveal that she lost her panties during last night's adventure, the trash is piling up around her. There are empty pill bottles lying on the street around her, and a few broken liquor bottles. There appears to be either cum or gum dried into her hair. She debates tasting it to see which it is, but decides that this could be a bad idea. What if it was some other substance besides cum or gum? What if it was whatever Drezdin's record was made out of? Fuck, that's gross. That's really gross. Or worse, what if it's Peter Gilmour's drool? Cause we all know he's still obsessed with Maria.

Some random cop walks over and kicks Maria's shoe, trying to nudge her awake. He doesn't realize that Maria is awake, but in a fog of the substance of her hair. He nudges her again and this time speaks.

Cover your twat, and get out of here, you mangy skank.

She notices, and comes out of her daze. The substance will have to wait til later.

Huh? You don't like my coochie snorcher? It's quite lovely, isn't it?

The cop leans over and projectile vomits all over a child he was trying to shield from the view of her rot crotch. Her crotch looks as good as Dim's teeth.

You, ma'am, are disgusting. Get the fuck out of here before I charge you.

Maria stands up, and fixes her skirt to cover her cave of sorrow. Yeah, it's where penises go to die. Hashtag ewww. Like Ghost Tank's face. She looks at the child, sees he's covered in vomit, and what appears to be scrambled eggs. Maria leans down, and looks the child in the eyes. He's probably scarred for life, and ruined on women now. Way to go Maria, you whore. Way to fucking go.

Can you smell this for me? I'm not sure what it is, and I'm afraid it might be Semen.

She shoves the section of hair with the mysterious substance towards the child. The cop pushes her back and pulls out a can of mace. Maria falls back to the ground exposing her rancid vagina once more.

Get the fuck out of here with that shit. You disgusting piece of human garbage. Go be worse than Ghost Tank's win loss record somewhere else.

The cop begins to spray his mace right into her slophole. Oh, that burns when mixed with the jizz of the possibly homeless men who rammed her last night. That might also just be the Chlamydia talking, not sure. She covers her snizz with her hands and hopes the burning will stop soon. Although, this is semi normal for her, almost as normal as no one loving Natasja Caecilius because her name is . Honestly, who the fuck picks that name for a child? Do you want them to sound like a Russian Slut and a Roman Banker merged into one? For shame, Natasja's parents. For fucking Shame. We're digressing, so Maria gets to her feet and runs away crying, hopefully that cool breeze with stop the burning of her disgusting no so pleasure center. She makes it all the way to a pharmacy. Inside she goes, without looking back to see if the cop is still chasing her. Or, if he ever really was chasing her. Maria's a whore, we don't care.

The Pharm Tech is a blonde guy, semi muscular, in his mid twenties. He has chin length hair, and a slight stubbly beard. This makes Maria's vag start leaking small amounts of a yellowish liquid. The Pharm Tech does not notice this, or at least he pretends not to, but man it looks like Maria shot banana pudding out of her vag. That shit is as appealing as the idea of sleeping with Ghost Tank. Not even Maria would do that, and she's a whore. Maria approaches the counter to talk to the man.

Hey, you.

Hello. How can I help you?

She moves closer, and lowers the zipper on her pink cotton hoodie with suspicious stains on it to show some of her cleavage, which upon this reveal is covered in dried cum and animal hair. What in the fuck did you get up to last night Maria? Were you partying like you were Ghost Tank's one fan celebrating the only time he mattered? You know, when he announced he retired. That's rough, man. To only be celebrated for actually getting out of the game. The Pharm tech is disgusted, and holds back some vomit.


So, I lost my script, and I was hoping you could help me out. Maybe offer up a trade for something?

Unless it's for Monistat and Vagisil, I'm gonna have to say no. You're nasty. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get Hepatitis just by looking at you. You need to leave before I call the police.

There's a hurt in Maria's eyes, and vagina. Her snatch feels unattractive, and begins to emit a sad sound.

Well, can you tell me what this substance in my hair is?

He grabs a phone and points to the door.

Get out of here. Now.

Maria sadly walks out of the door, and walks down the street with her head held low. She passes random people on the street, asking them to help her identify the substance, but no one will. This leads Maria to do the only thing that makes sense for a cracked out whore with some unknown in her hair. No, kids, not start thrashing around and talking about how awesome she is. She's not Ghost Tank after all. And no, she's not going to go all emo and mute and act like a bitch named Natasja. I cannot get over how that name is. Goddamn, whoever named that child Natasja makes me want to put my head in a vice and crush it until Joe Pesci demands I give up the name Charlie M, and then keep going so I can forget that I had to exist on the same plane as someone named Natasja. Fuck. Anyways, Maria goes to a church and collapses in the pews. A Priest comes over to investigate the loud sobbing sound heard throughout his church.

My daughter, are you alright?

In between loud sobs, she looks and sees the Priest is a handsome man in his early 40's, he has steel eyes, and charcoal hair. It's well groomed, and he appears to be genuinely concerned for her. Maria cannot help but get aroused by this. A strange odor of rotting cabbage began to emit from her vag.

Oh, father. I've been cast out from the world because of who I am. It's not my fault, though father.

He looks confused, and willing to help this lost soul.

I don't understand, my daughter. Can you please explain?

She takes a deep breath and wipes away her tears.

When I was a girl, my father came into my room and raped me. He repeated this process, and even got me pregnant with his child. I was ashamed of how much I loved it, so I ran away and joined terrible bands like In this Moment. People liked them, but those people are because they're dreadful.

Like Ghost Tank, right?

I don't think anyone is that bad father. Not even my ex husband, Peter Gilmour. Who kidnapped me and forced me to marry him when I was given AIDs. Then he cloned me when I tried to run away from him, because he's abusive and disgusting. Do you know Peter Gilmour would put Chicken Parm inside of my asshole and eat it out? That's sick. Anyway, I was forced to marry Peter, then divorced him. I got addicted to pills and booze and sex with random people to cope with the stress of my life. Now, I have AIDs, Chlamydia, a child I can't find, otherwise I'd make him impregnate me, and a horrible addiction. My vagina secretes banana pudding when I pee, and it just smells terrible. I want to kill myself, father. I'm at the end of my rope.

Never fret, my Child. We will help you. Suicide is never the answer. Unless your name is either Ghost Tank, or Natasja Caecilius.

Thank you, Father. But, can you do me one more favor real quick?

Yes, what is it?

Can you tell me what this is in my hair?

She points to the spot of dried random in her hair, and like a true hero the Priest smells the substance.

It appears to be a mixture of dried vomit and a dried Loogie.