Johnny and I are cuddling on the bed, we've both gotten back dressed, and were laying there, hoping Shane would call me back. Johnny's got me wrapped in his arms, and I'm rubbing his stubble. I'm lost in a dream world, imagining us in Africa with him saving Rhinos, and me flying out to wrestle once a month, or so, and taking care of our little house the rest of the time. I'm in love with this man, and I want to tell him.

Johnny, I absolutely love you. I can't wait until Thursday morning.

And I am head over heels in love with you, my Scottish Queen.

We kiss, and then I pull away.

Wait, I shouldn't do that. Vinnie says that I have horrible breath.

Johnny laughs, and kisses me again. Deeply, deeper than before.

Vinnie Lane is jealous because his dick doesn't work.

I feel bad for him saying that, and then get the sudden urge to pee. I get up, and do my pee dance as I run to the toilet. I hear Johnny laugh as he walks out of the room.

Babe, I'm going to watch telly with George, and Tiffany.

I pee, and then get to my feet and wash my hands, I wanna watch telly with them! Plus, we never did tell them about Africa. I'm excited. They're sitting on the couch watching reruns of Q.I. I don't like this show, I don't ever do well. Tiffany notices me first.

Hey, you. I got you a plate in the kitchen, it's spaghetti. We're watching telly, and Johnny said he had some fantastic news to tell us.

I gulp. I hope he didn't tell them I was going to Africa without me being here. I walk into the kitchen and grab my plate. It looks delicious. I pick up a noodle after setting my plate down, and hold it in the air before trying to catch it with my mouth. It ends up poking me in the eye. I don't like this. The noodle does find its way into my mouth, and I pick my plate up again and walk towards the parlour.

So, I got offered a job in South Africa.

I see the look of shock in Georgie's eyes. Johnny doesn't. Or, he does and doesn't care.

I think I'm going to take it.

When would you leave?

I'm holding my plate so tightly that my knuckles are turning white. I haven't moved from the archway.

Thursday. I'd fly out from Barcelona.

That's soon, man. What are you and Ginge gonna do? She gonna fly out with you, or no?

I nearly drop my plate. George has teared up at this point.

No, Georgie. I'm staying here. I'm not sure what it means for us, but I can't leave you.

Johnny sets his plate calmly on the cocktail table. He gets to his feet, and breathes a loud sigh as he walks out of the room, and into my bedroom. I rush into the parlour and set my plate on the table as well, before I take off after him. He sitting on the bed, angrily looking at my mobile. I rush over and drape my arms around him. He brushes me off.

You decided to stay here? What happened?

There's a pain in his voice, he's trying to hide it, but he can't.

I saw the look in my brother's eyes as he asked the question. He still needs me. He really needs me, Johnny. It'd be selfish of me to go.

You're staying because of him? No one else.

Just him. And we'll stay together, I'll fly out and see you a tonne, but I can't move out there.

No, you won't. You'll want to, but I won't let you. After your match on Wednesday, I'm leaving. We won't be together, I'll keep you from coming, and it'll be over. It'll hurt, but it's better that way. I just want to do one thing first.

My chest hurts. I've never hurt like this before. I can't form words. I just nod.

I want to record a promo for that piece of Yank shit.

I just nod, and try to catch my breath. I'm crying harder than I've cried any other time, except when my parents died. He pulls out my laptop and starts a promo for Vinnie.

Hey, Vinnie. We haven't spoke before, you insecure bitch. I guess it's time we do that. Yeah, it's Johnny, Ginger's sort of boyfriend. You want to talk down to her? Fine, but there's a price. The price is simple, I'm going to knock your jaw out of socket. It's going to happen, and you're going to beg for your team mates to help you, but they won't be able to. You'll have earned this. It's going to be fun. And would you like to know why?

Because you keep running that mouth, acting like a bitch. You know why Ginger isn't on the XWF top fifty? Because she's been here less than three months. The top fifty hasn't been updated in how long? You think you deserve to be higher on the list because you've fought people and won? Well, by your plan, Ginger should be higher than you are there. Times Vinnie has beaten Ginger? None. Times Vinnie has begged to get out of a match with her because he was afraid? One. Matches Vinnie hoped he didn't have to face Ginger in? Two. Times Ginger has beaten Vinnie? One, soon to be two. So, by the logic you've laid out, Ginger deserves her spot there. You can dispute that all you want, but that's your exact logic, so it won't do too much good.

Peter's a dead last on the list, and you're a number one, right? And yet, he's got how many wins on you? Yeah, seems a little odd to me as well. Of course, I'm just basing things on your logic displayed here. It seems odd to call yourself the number one here, because frankly, when I see you all I see is a standing heaping number two. That's right, you're utter shite. Pure and simple shite. Shite in a dirty nappy sucking on a dick shaped pacifier. Wait, that's too much homophobia for your tastes isn't it? I mean, you did critcise Ginger for using supposed transphobia, when she didn't even make a comment about Trans, but then you blast homophobia like crazy. Tell me, Vinnie, is it because with these low dose Test shots you can be a real boy soon?

Where did she say anything about Maverick beating her and you not? I mean, did you just make that up on the spot to sound good? Because, I gotta tell you, you're making a lot of things up lately, and it doesn't look good on you. If you're wondering about her bringing up wins like Tank, maybe it's because you accused her not being able to beat people like Cain or Mastermind, and she did defeat Mastermind. But, the closest competitor she's faced in terms of Cain's size and skill level is Ghost Tank. I'm glad you show pictures of Maverick, and fail to understand lighting, and how it works. Honestly, I feel like I'm explaining this to the piglets I helped farrow the other day. So, let me set this fucking clear, those supposed rumours you've been hearing about her saying that? She didn't. You can't prove it, because you're just a snivelling cunt crying and making up shit to sound good while hoping your nanny comes in and wipes your arse.

We're glad you understand the world of dogs you do, to the small extent that you do, but something that you keep forgetting. The little dog, that dog wins. The big dog might win sometimes, but they get old, and they go down. You? You've been put into a coma, and you've been around the block a lot. You're on your way down. It'll be fun to watch you starve for food. Like what happens in the dog world. Or, are you going to pretend like you're still ripe and strong? It's not that way. You're close to being put down. And I'm sure your new boyfriend will be holding the needle. How many dicks do you hop on so people notice you? I mean, you dick rode Kirk until you went into your coma, right? Then suddenly you're swallowing Shane's semen by the potful, right?

Not sure where you get the idea that Ginger doesn't know her ethnicity, but I think you're again just making things up as you go along, and hope no one notices the bird flapping and screaming as it crashes, which you carefully label as soaring to a smooth landing. If you ignore the broken bones, and blood upon the landing. But, let me ask you this, why are you so hooked on gay men, and ball sacks? I really want to know. And why is it that you were so intent on not fighting Ginger, it can't be a warning, because we already know what your history is. Something you're trying to claim was a gift, when we all know otherwise.

I also want to know, why are you thinking of challenging someone to a match, or accepting his match, when he hasn't been seen since his embarrassing loss, and then being outed as a fake Feder. And do you know why Ginger isn't going to be at War Games? Because she didn't want to be there. Since, it was an optional show to be a part of, and she stayed out of it. Although, what with there being mystery names there, how do you know she isn't one of them? Dipshit.

I'd also like to know this question, Vinnie. Why is it that you told Roxie you felt a bulge on Ginger, but then you tell other people she had vaginal odours? Which is it, man? Or, can you not keep your bullshit straight? Please, continue to discuss my girlfriend's sex life while comparing her to a teen boy, it totally doesn't make you sound like a kid fiddler. Not at all. Please, regale us with more talk of gay teen boys you think of when you see Ginger, and then talk some more about Trax, while every five seconds stopping to remind us that you're not gay, you just happen to really like male genitalia as an art piece.

Naturally, I'm working backwards from his shitty promos of "My dick don't work, let me try sticking it in a vacuum cleaner from the 80's. When everyone knows that won't actually do anything, except maybe give me diseases." And I just got to his third one, and boy does it open up with a shell of a mess up. He whines about how quickly Ginger gets her promos up, while lamenting later about how much time it takes. In this one he cries because she gets hers up too quickly after he does. Because hers appear the same day as his do. Fine, except of course, Ginger uploads one today, and then less than five minutes later, here's Vinnie responding with one in which he addresses her. Hey, Vinnie, did you hide out with your webcam ready to address her for a while? And while he complains because she took two days before uploading something. So, she uses the same time between them that he does, and he gets angry, she waits 5 hours after his promo to air one, and he gets angry that she's going too quickly. Man, it's the three day rule debate with this guy.

And now I question this, if Vinnie knows his logic is purely gobshite, why does he continue to use it? Unless he doesn't think it's shite, and he's trying to defensively cover himself because he's a coward and he knows he's been had? Thing that's really caught me here, when he says Ginger's not pretty but he still wants to sleep with her. He calls her a boy, a lot, and then says he wants to sleep with her? Maybe he's trying to out himself? I don't know. And one final burning question for you, Vinnie, one huge burning question. You're the champion, right? The ultimate champion? Then why, in your only defense so far did you need help to keep it, and have to have Shane tell the guy to not count pins against you, and cheat for you? Because you're just not that good. Sorry, man, but you needed to hear it.

Oh, and love the admission of wanking on a man's face.

My jaw hits the floor. I didn't think he was going to say that stuff.

You can't say that!

Why not?

Coz it's mean.

Ginger, the guy's a douche with massive insecurities. I'm going to Africa with the woman I love on Thursday. Allow me to have this.

I love you, too. You know why I can't go.

Doesn't make it hurt less. Let me have this. Please.

Fine.

I upload it and close the laptop, Johnny then picks up my phone. He dials some numbers, and waits. I guess someone answers because he starts to talk.

Shane, this is Johnny. Ginger's boyfriend. She's not quitting or going on hiatus. No Africa for her.

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