Our scene opens in what appears to be a club, techno music is blaring, there is a sea of people dancing, and others are just standing around with drinks in their hand. However what really stands out is the large staircase towards the back of the room and the golden throne that sits at the top of that staircase. But that isn't all because on that throne sits the selfie god himself, Calix, and on Calix sits two half naked blonde women who are kissing each other. Yeah, he's got it like that, be jealous you ugly motherfucker. The women proceed kissing each other and Calix, that is until a bolt of lightning strikes the dance floor out of nowhere filling the room with smoke. When the smoke clears, there stands Techno Viking in all his glory looking quite pissed. However he doesn't say a word, he just waves both of his arms and everybody but Calix vanishes.


Calix: What the hell are you doing!?!? I was kind of in the middle of something!


Techno Viking: Yes, you were in the middle of having a party under Techno Viking's roof while you sit on Techno Viking's throne and piss Techno Viking the fuck off.


Calix: I see nothing wrong with anything you just said.


The Techno Viking narrows his eyes at Calix.


Techno Viking: Calix, when Techno Viking was your age he had already bathed in the blood of his enemies. In fact when Techno Viking was your age he was bathing in his enemies blood so often that he didn't take regular baths, only blood baths.


Calix: Yeah, and their heads lined your walls as trophies. I've heard this story a million times dad but the problem is I'm not you. I don't give a shit about saving the humans from the Throushaken, that's your thing, not mine.



Techno Viking: It's not just Techno Viking's thing, it's your thing as well, YOU'RE A GOD!


Calix: Yeah, well I don't remember signing up for the job.


Techno Viking: You know, Techno Viking blames your mother for this because Techno Viking would have never raised such a whiny little shit. "I never signed up to be a god", do you know how many people would kill to be where you are? Who you are? What you are? Yet you don't see it because of that woman always letting you hang around Mt. Olympus with her tit in your moth filling your head with that Greek nonsense. That's ok, Techno Viking has just the thing to cure this, Techno Viking is banishing you until you can prove to Techno Viking that you're more than just a little pissant.


Calix: Oh really, you're going to banish me? Go ahead, I'll rule wherever you send me without even having to lift a finger. I mean after all, you said it yourself, I'm a god.


Techno Viking: As if Techno Viking would let you off that easy.


Out of nowhere Techno Viking pulls out a golden pendant with a large red jewel in the middle. A red beam of light shoots out of the pendant hitting Calix in the chest who immediately drops to one knee gasping for air.


Calix: What... What... Did you do to me?


Techno Viking: Oh Techno Viking just significantly weakened your powers but don't worry, it should only last a hundred years or so. You know, plenty of time for you to prove once and for all that you're deserving of your place in Asgard.


Calix looks up at Techno Viking from one knee and stares a hole right through him.


Calix: I hate you father and I'll make you pay for this.


Techno Viking laughs.


Techno Viking: Techno Viking loves you too son, and you'll be thanking Techno Viking for this one day as we both dine on Throushaken. Or, you will never see Techno Viking's face again but that all depends on you.


Techno Viking waves his hand causing Calix to vanish into thin air and with that we fade to black.

---

Bow Down



What a crock of shit, one second I'm chilling in Asgard partying the day away and the next I'm here on Earth, eww doesn't begin to describe it. However not only am I stuck here but I've also been sapped of most of my powers thanks to dear old dad, father of the fucking year. Regardless, here I stand trying to prove to that billy goat looking asshole that I can conquer and the first thing on my list is the XWF! You know, because your federation is just that god damn important. No, the fact that an ad for an XWF event was one of the first things I saw when I got to Earth had absolutely nothing to do with my decision to join here. No, really. Okay, you got me, you're a smart one no matter what everybody else says. Seriously though, now we all know how I got here but to me that isn't really all that important, what's important is what I'm going to do now that I'm here. You've all actually already gotten a small taste of what I'm going to do because the first thing I did after joining the XWF was separate TJ Wallace from his Federweight Championship. That's something that each and every one of you should get used to seeing because TJ was just the first champion in a long line of champions who will fall by my beautiful hands. Yeah, I said beautiful, AND? Have you seen my mother fucking hands? Just like everything else on my body they're model material. Of course most of you wouldn't know anything about that , what can I say? Being the son of the goddess of beauty has it's perks, then again something had to offset having to call Techno Goat papa.



Okay, okay, with all that being said I need to focus here. I mean not that it really matters since everybody is going to be tuning in to see my gorgeous face and perfectly toned body, but I do have an opponent. That's right an opponent named CJ Sharpe which is kind of like having no opponent at all. However this is what you wanted CJ, just another beat down to add to the list of beat downs that you were on the wrong end of in your short time here in the XWF. Then again it's well documented that you aren't very smart so it will be my pleasure to finally put you out of your misery. Hell, you can even chalk this match up to divine intervention since you'll no longer be able to disappoint your people by constantly putting your stupidity on display for the world to see. Honestly CJ, do you know how many people have kneeled before me so that they could beg me to end you leading up to this match? Yeah, I don't either because I've lost count, you're that much of a god damn embarrassment. Honestly, I don't even have anything else to say to you, it would just be a waste of time. Anybody with half a brain can see that I'm going to destroy you with little or no effort so why waste anymore time talking when I could be taking selfies?

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