[We fade back in on Chris, who is still standing behind the oven with his artificial cheeseburger now sealed in a plastic bag. Chris no longer looks like he's been smoking koosh before the promo, which is either a benefactor or a detractor to the viewers at home. However, he still wears a really stupid looking smile on his face that makes him look like he's trying way too hard to be funny. The chef's hat is no longer seen on his person. Instead, it's replaced with a comically small paper hat that you'd see in local fast food joints. He opens up the bag to pull out the now chilled shit burger and places it on a paper plate.]

Christopher: Welcome back to the show, ladies and gents. As you can see, our burger is almost complete and only needs a couple more ingredients before it's ready to be served to the judges. Besides, this is only one dish. Who says that I wouldn't try and put in some effort for the others? Robbie? I don't take that fucker seriously anymore after I surpassed him in the social ladder.

Yeah, he keeps moaning about how he'll get his revenge by forcing me into a cook off while showing himself making a pie. I'm more of a cake guy myself, but regardless, if you think making better food will somehow make you a better wrestler, then get the fuck back in the kitchen, because rolling dough and putting something in the oven isn't like waxing a car or putting on and taking off a jacket repeatedly.

[With that, he pulls out a garlic clove from a much smaller food pile.]

Christopher: Some people really don't like onions on their burger. Others don't like pickles on theirs. I'm anti-pickle, so I went ahead and grabbed what looked most like an onion out of the fridge. The only thing I could find was a clove of garlic Dustin kept in the bottom shelf of his fridge and probably wasn't ever going to use.

Dustin: You don't know that, brah! Maybe I was going to use it for garlic bread or garlic shrimp.

Christopher: You don't know how to cook either of those things, brah. The last time you tried to make something new, you burned your whole hand trying to put out a fire.

Dustin: I could learn!!

[Chris and Dustin start to laugh as the former pulls out a small knife and cuts thin slices off. While Chris does this, Dustin pulls out his phone and proceeds to load up Robbie's newest promo.]

Christopher: I think three slices should be enough to bring out the flavor of the shit. What do you say, Dustin?

Dustin: Dude, I don't care. We're not the ones that have to eat it. Just add however many you think would be enough.

[Chris shrugs and continues cutting thin slices off the clove. Dustin skips the argument and a clip that might as well be an introduction to a Power Rangers rip-off. When we get to Robbie baking a scrumptious looking pie, Chris has already managed to cut one slice of garlic.]

Some Guy Who Flunked Science Said:I mean, I take flour and butter, I smash it together with a tiny bit of salt, and then I put it in a pan. Then I get to fill it with fruit, and top it with another layer of crust. Pop it in the oven for a little while, and boom, the equal and opposite reaction is a delicious pie. Or something like that.

Christopher: Unless you can somehow bake pies by throwing them against a wall without completely destroying it, then no, that does not apply to Newton's third law of motion. Besides, the pie never moves when it's in the oven. It grows, but it never moves beyond that. What you're thinking about is the law of mass conservation, where matter cannot be created or destroyed. No, the pie isn't a single mass object and no, you don't make it heavier or lighter when you pop it in the oven.

Dustin: Aren't supervillains normally stereotyped as smarter than the hero, brah?

Christopher: Well this guy is a very special exception to that cliché, dude. I know he might believe it, but no one else does.

[Another thin slice of garlic has been cut while Chris was sidetracked.]

Some Guy that has Food on the Mind Said: Maybe less Chiba, more training.

Christopher: Less Chiba? I know I went to Japan at one point, but I thought I went to Osaka, not Chiba. I don't remember ever stepping foot in that providence at all.

Dustin: He might mean heroin, dude.

Christopher: Oh, that's what he meant? What, did he look that up on Urban Dictionary and had to include it in his promo because he wanted to sound smarter? Why didn't you just say heroin, brah? That wouldn't be as far of a stretch than Chiba.

[The third slice of garlic has been cut. Chris then takes a few seconds to place all three slices on the very disgusting burger and gets ready to pull out his next and possibly last ingredient.]

Christopher: Now to some people, the burger might as well be considered done. We should just put it back in the fridge and put it in the microwave in the green room by the time the event starts, yeah?


Christopher: You're forgetting the most important part, brah! The secret sauce! Without it, the burger wouldn't leave a lasting taste in your mouth!

Dustin: It's like the Krabby Patty, dudes! Without it, the burger would fucking kill you!

[Chris chuckles a bit after hearing his friend's input.]

Christopher: See, this guy gets it. That's one of the reasons he's my manager in this fed.

[Chris exhales, which ceases the chuckling. He then pulls out a small baster and the final ingredient for his burger. Whatever the ingredient might be, we know that it's inside a milk carton, because that's exactly what he pulled out. He twists the cap off and takes a large sniff out of it. After doing so, he quickly pulls his head back and covers his mouth in disgust. Dustin chuckles at his friend's reaction.]

Dustin: You know the milk is bad! I told you that as soon as you opened the fridge, dude!

Christopher: I had to make sure you didn't throw it out for a new carton, brah.

Dustin: Well now you know.

[Chris gags a little before looking back at the camcorder.]

Christopher: So yeah, the sauce is nothing more than curdled milk. Thankfully, there's enough for me to pour on the burger without completely drenching it. I'll go ahead and do that right now.

[Chris grabs a clear plastic container to pour the bad milk into. While he does that, Dustin resumes Robbie's promo.]

The Little Bitch Said:When I get my hands wrapped in stone, and I have fists will make you feel like you're really getting hit by a ton of bricks, I'm going to smack you around like you're my little bitch, because Chris, you are my little bitch.

Christopher: That's funny. I remember things going differently when we last squared off. Sure you tried to dominate for the most part, but I ended up coming back and hitting harder than you ever imagined. In the end, I broke your nose in that fight we had on the ladder. Remember what happened next, Rob? You fell while trying to tend to your bleeding nose, like a bitch does. As you can tell by this shitburger, I really don't want my hands wrapped in stone. You can have the gloves, but good luck trying to pick up anything else with hands like those.

Someone Trying Too Hard Said:When I take a barbed-wire bat,

Christopher: When your hands are trapped in stone? Dude, I could steal that from you easier than anyone can steal candy from a baby, and that shit is really fucking easy. Same with that pizza knife, brah. With those things limiting your grip, I don't think you can pull off most of your dirty fucking tricks that you pull on everyone else. Besides, what is up with you calling me a little bitch, anyways? I mean, yes I'm smaller than you, but that isn't really a good enough reason to call me a bitch.

Dustin: He's just mad, brah!

Christopher: Yeah, he's so mad. I bet he'll be even madder when he ends up getting pinned. So mad, he'll inflate to the size of Violet when she ate that four course candy or whatever it was called. Maybe I should bake a blueberry pie just to piss him off even more, ya know?

Someone Who Behaves Like a Bear Said:The sun rises, the sun sets. It rains, it evaporates. These happenings in nature aren't necessarily common, but well, they're pretty special, I'd say!

Christopher: The sun doesn't always rise and set where you are? Either you live in an area where clouds never leave or your head is so far trapped inside your own ass, you can't see any kind of light. Which is it, brah?

[The milk has been poured into the plastic container. When it's emptied, Chris tosses the carton aside and grabs what appears to be a paint brush. He then dabs it into the container, getting some of the strange liquid on it. Satisfied, he proceeds to paint the milk onto the burger, staining the garlic, pasties, and the leaf.]

Dustin: Yeah, this guy is talking about the third law as if they're people now. He's action and you're reaction. Reaction overpowered action at one point and now he's saying something about how he always seems to dictate where you go and what you do.

Christopher: He thinks that his life revolves around me now? Dude, me being star of the month doesn't mean you have the right to stalk me every moment of his life. If that's your action, my reaction would be driving your head into the floor again and again until you get the memo. I don't care if it's fate that forces you to keep coming after me, I'll defy fate by putting you in your place every time we fight.

[Chris finishes painting the burger an ugly shade of white and places another bun on top of his creation.]

Christopher: Hey, I just realized something about this burger.

Dustin: What's that, brah?

Christopher: This inedible burger is exactly like my opponent. He's full of shit and tries to pass himself off as something he's not. He has a school dedicated to the sport and not one of his students seemed to have learned anything about fighting. He tries to be credible, but when a man that fought in the backyard for most of his time with the sport can beat you, then that just goes to show you exactly how much of a failure he is as a teacher. No, he doesn't just fail as a teacher, he fails as a serious fighter. I can't take him seriously when he threatens to break my bones. You know what I do take seriously? Having the opportunity to shut this fatass up so I can earn a shot to win a belt.

Hey bitch, do me a favor and get ready for our meeting tomorrow. I'm sure things will be straightened out when your head's caved in and you wake up at the hospital.

[With that, he places the shitburger back in the plastic bag and seals it. The scene then cuts to black after he holds it up for the audience to see.]