The two of us looked towards the source of the new voice.
"Excuse-- oh, it's you, Miss Tigris."
"Should I happen to know you, m'am?" I asked.
"Don't take that tone with me, Cindy. And no, you don't. Miranda Tigris, at your service," the mysterious, now named lady responded.
The one called Cindy gritted your teeth, almost as I had done earlier, though she was far less subtle with it. "And what, per chance, brings you to this neck of the woods?" Cindy asked.
"Tell me, per chance, when did it become procedure for me to answer to you?" Tigris shot back.
I think I'm going to like her... I thought.
Cindy wasn't without her own comebacks, however.
"Right when it became procedure for you, for some reason, interfering in my declining of prospects." Cindy retorted.
"Interfering? No, I'm not interfering with anything. I'm overruling your declining of prospects. Overruling, see, different word, different meaning." Tigris said.
"Then you better have some damned good reasoning. This... filth... will likely either all murder us, or rob us blind." Cindy responded.
A fact which, in the case of the former, I would be quite proud to do. This Cindy chick is spot- on, though I had to wonder why this Miranda Tigris chick was doing all of this for me...
"You seem to forget just what the XWF is. Just a couple of months ago, a gang of pot smoking frat boys took this federation by storm. Look at the Universal Championship history; is there a single one of those men who haven't killed somebody? Better yet, we allow a gang of violent white supremacists, sentient video game characters, and a creep in a bunny suit who associates himself with a woman I'd be more afraid to meet in a dark alley than Tall, Dark, and Obvious over here, run roughshod. Where were your objections then?" Tigris flashed a small smirk upon saying this.
My eyes bulged at Tigris' tirade against Cindy. I could easily see she wasn't a women who took crap from anybody, as poor Cindy here was being reminded of. Her left eye twitching, she shoved herself out of her seat, and walked out of the door, being certain to bump shoulders with Tigris on the way out, while giving her a hard glare that seemed to say, "I warned you."
"Thanks for the assist," I said, picking myself out of my seat. "Can't say I've heard of you 'till now. Are you one of those General Managers? If so, what show do you help run?"
"No. Not anymore, at least. But enough about me, let's talk about you. Just what kind of psycho are you?" Tigris asked.
A chuckle rose from me as a result. "Oh, just the kind of psycho that kills for a living and eats from the dead. Though, I suppose you've dealt with stranger folks than myself."
"I have stranger on my payroll."
"Oh, I'll bet, given the kind of people you were just talking about with poor Cindy. Sentient video game characters? Now, I suppose it's time to cut the chatter and get into the juicy bits-- why, in fact, did you run roughshod on poor Cindy and save myself from being declined as a wrestler here?"
"Aside from the pleasure of watching her squirm? Because, considering the reasons for which she was rejecting you, I think you can help me."
This caused me to raise an eyebrow. A request? I thought. "Me help you? Well, this ought to be interesting. Best to be out with it, if anyone had some common sense, they wouldn't dare mess with you. Tell me-- who do you need assassinated?"
"Slow down there, tiger. Appreciate the enthusiasm, but no. Nothing like that. I need something a little more intricate."
"Intricacy, you say? An assassin can always deliver a subtle touch. What do you need?"
"The slow and painful death of this company. And a human/animal hybrid that doesn't die within a couple weeks but you can't help me with that one."
A deep breath emanated from myself. The death of the XWF? This chick has balls, I'd be able to tell you that much. But even still, this might just be the biggest job I've ever undertaken. Ever.
"Well now, Miss Tigris, I think we have an accord. You got me a job here, now I'll kill this place. You scratch my back, now I'll scratch yours... but on one condition. A fair condition, considering what you're asking me to do."
"Shoot."
"Quite possibly the best way to take control, and ultimately destroy this company is to take control of the things that seem to make people be the best of the best around here-- the titles. Of course, I will require aid from others, of course. You mentioned a payroll, so I will need to require assistance from them. But, what I want is to get to titles as quickly as possible. No if's, and's, or but's about it. You get me to titles, I'll get you to the ruin of this company."
"That easy? I figured it'd be something, like, I don't know, giving up a kidney or something. Deal."
A soft chuckle escaped my grasp as I pushed my hand forward for Tigris to shake. "I'm going to hold you to your word. Now, you don't need to tell me now, over a call or an e- mail will do, but I will need to require access to who is on your payroll, so I know who to go with for the tag titles, and dump former titles to once I've found that I can move onto bigger and better things."
"Easy enough." Tigris clasped her hand into my hand, and we shook. A deal has been made. We released our hands, then returned to the conversation at hand.
"So now, have any ideas of where I start? Who might be the first person I'm going up against here?"
"A man by the name of LH Harrison, if you're so eager."
"LH Harrison? What's the LH supposed to stand for?"
"Don't have the faintest idea."
"Fan- fucking- tastic. Well, I suppose I'll be going now, promos to cut and such, unless if there's something else you'd like to give me."
"There is one thing. Tyrone!" Tigris clapped her hands twice, and after a short while, a rather small, skinny African- American wielding a camera came through the door.
"You call, Miss Tigris?" The one apparently named Tyrone asked.
"Yes, Tyrone. Meet, I didn't catch his name, you're going to be his new cameraman."
"Ah, yes, how rude of me. My real name is Liam, though when we're on camera, Tyrone, you refer to me as Phantom, strictly."
Tyrone's shoulders slouched just barely, but it was noticeable. "Ah... yes, yes, of course, Miss Tigris! ...And, uh, Liam."
A small smirk crept on to my face. "Why the hesitation, m'boy? I won't kill you and eat out your heart... unless you piss me off, then on fact I just might."
"No need to scare the help. Now straighten up Tyrone, or the Tyroneisaurus Rex will be a thing."
Tyrone's eyes bulged when threatened with the killing, and then a small 'eep' escaped him when threatened with the 'Tyroneisaurus Rex,' which caused me to burst into hysterics.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Look how scared he got! He'll be a keeper!" A few more chuckles escaped me, before I finally managed to calm down. "Now then, I appreciate the help. Let me know if there'll be a major instance where I can harm the XWF, that'll help. And when you get me that first title opportunity, as I said, I'll need the e- mail. Now, come on, Tyrone."
I led the way out of the door, pompousness filling me, while Tyrone meekly followed behind me.
"Hello? This thing on?" I asked as I tapped the camera ever so slightly.
"Uhhh... it's on, sir. And please don't tap my camera."
"Hmph, fine." I walked back from the camera, revealing the current location to be a dark, mysterious room, with a slightly flickering light up above. Sounds pretty fucking edgy.
I sat down in the lone chair that occupied the room, crossing my legs and tapping my fingers.
"So," I began, "It seems Madness is nearly upon us, and with that, will come my debut match, against one LH Harrison."
A small chuckle escaped my lips as soon as I said that name. "Now, listen H, can I call you H? I'm calling you H.
"Now, I'm rather surprised from your lack of noise this week. I mean, you've been deathly quiet, almost as if you're willing to just lie down as soon as the match begins, take your beating, then get pinned, 1, 2, 3. I mean, you're a failure, as if that needed to be said. What's your most recent win? Calypso? HA! Don't even make me laugh! Calypso is a fucking joke, and everyone here knows it.
"Or how about that loss you suffered from Ghost Tank? Please! Who the hell loses to that big lug? He calls himself the Pale Rider? More like the Pale Pussy. When was the last time he won a match, besides that old- timer Hank Lane and you? Like, months ago? At Bad Medicine?
"You've fallen from grace. The only thing you're good for is for taking a three- count, giving that ever- so- slight boost to my popularity. I might turn, what, one head with my performance? To be honest, I can't even tell why I was booked against you. You are deluded if you think you have a chance with competing against me. You are deluded if you think you will have a chance of surviving against me.
"You will never accomplish anything ever again. You are too much of a pussy and a failure and a cum bubble to do so. Prophet of the Universal Champion? More like lackey to the Universal Champion, if even. Goddammit. I shouldn't be wasting my time with you. Fuck you, and I'm not gonna make another promo for this week until you respond."
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