I sat on the couch with Tiff and Georgie, as they watch their programme. I still haven't told either of them about the injuries I got from that match, or the hurtful things I've encountered at the XWF. I'm trying to keep it positive so they don't beg me to quit. I told Johnny that most of what he sees on the telly is fake, and that I'm not really getting hurt or doing these things. I don't think he believes me, but it's better than him worrying about me all the time. I know that Drew's narrator will use this to say that I'm a terrible person, but sometimes lying to people to protect them from realities is a good thing. Isn't it? Like when our mums would tell us about Santa and the Easter Bunny or the tooth faerie. Or poison in our sweets on Halloween. This is like one of those times. I have to lie to them to keep them from worrying themselves ill over me.

I ponder all of these ideas as they watch the programme. Then, I fall asleep and dream of eating Eggy FIsh Toast all day while people in the background laugh. I can't see these people, the whole world is darkness except the never ending plate of Eggy Fish Toast in front of me. One voice keeps repeating a command for me to eat the toast. Over and and over again I am told to eat the Toast while a voice laughs. I don't even like the Eggy FIsh Toast much! It looks good, but it is terrible. How could you fail me so much, Eggy Fish Toast? Johnny made you special for me, and I want to like you, but I don't. This is torture! Until I am shaken and awoken.

I open my eyes, and blink a few times. I see Johnny's pretty eyes looking back into my own. I am not sure if this is a dream or not. I will test this.

I don't like Eggy Fish Toast. You made it special for me, and I don't like it.

He blinks and looks confused. This is a common reaction to me. If he forces me to eat the toast, I will know I am dreaming, and I'll bite my tongue. It will hurt and I will awake from my Eggy dream.

You don't like it? Fine, I won't make it anymore. I don't know why you didn't tell me.

This is real! I am not dreaming of more Eggy Fish Toast! I sit up right and look at Johnny. He backs up a little and kneels down to look me in the eyes. I notice that I am in my room, and on my bed. I will question this in a minute.

I didn't tell you I liked it, either. I just didn't comment on it. I didn't know how to tell you that. And, that was the first time I had ever had it. I made up the name Eggy Fish Toast, so you wouldn't think I was some dumb hick girl and stop loving me.

He kisses the top of me head. It hurts. I have to tell him about the attack from Drew Archyle.

I don't get you, Ginge. You know I love you, but you thought I'd stop loving you for not having Scotch Woodcock? Why?

I will tell him later. I shrug my shoulders and make a pouty face.

I dunno. I guess, I'm just afraid that you'll find someone like Caroline to be happy with. Some super smart girl who gets your work, and doesn't have to pretend to know what it is when you explain, because she's afraid you'll get upset at constantly explaining why you're playing Farmer McDoogan. Cause, like I don't understand any part of your work. Except that you get to pet Cows. Then I get jealous that I can't pet a Cow. Then I want to buy a Cow, or a Goat. Or something furry that I can pet all the time. Then, I remember that I'm the little Scottish Girl who tried to run away from here, but ended up coming back, and I'm too stupid to understand your job or your Eggy Fish Toast, and how you'll get tired of me some day. And I don't want you to get tired of me. I want you to love me forever, and us to have kids together, and they can question your job while I play with the Goat we bought and named Jackie. Because why wouldn't you name a Goat Jackie? But, I'm not smart enough for any of that to happen. Except the Goat. I'm buying a Goat.

He grabs me and pulls me in close. This hug is a for real hug and I've never felt more warm and loved.

First of all, I don't think you're some dumb Scottish Girl who ran away and failed. You're my Scottish Princess. I don't care if you don't understand my job, I can't go out there and compete like you can. I can't do a Snap Suplex to save my life. And look at you, you did it some guy who's a foot taller than you are and outweighs you by almost 100 pounds! You're amazing.

Our kids, when we have them, will have your beauty, and hopefully athleticism. If they don't get my job, who cares? If they do, fantastic. We'll have a goat named Jackie and one named Timmy. You're not too stupid for me. You're perfect for me. Ginger, dating a girl like Caroline would be boring, it'd be the same conversation every day about splitting isotopes or inseminating Cattle. I want you, I want your ideas, and your oddities. I want to be watching a movie, and look at you to see that you've been chewing on the blanket because you fell asleep and dreamt of pasta or something.

When we have kids, I want them to ask me why it's raining if we're inside because one of you set off the sprinklers I installed, while trying to summon the spirit of Casper the Friendly Ghost so you can ask him if there's Tacos in Heaven. You get it?

Casper the Friendly Ghost? He's real? I will ask on this later. For now, I'm too busy crying as Johnny hold me. I love the embrace.

Oh, and baby doll. If you're going to get beat up like that on telly, and have your title stolen from you by some generic wannabe Joe Pesci, who then goes on to tell some sob story about how his mom ran away and his dad died, then perhaps don't tell me it was boring.

I don't know what to say. I am truly speechless. Then, I am hit with the overwhelming urge to pee. I get to my feet, and run out of the room. Johnny steps out to try and follow me. I assume he thinks I'm running off to vomit or something. I rectify this situation.

I HAVE TO PEE!!

I should have looked before shouting this. George is playing his Xbox in the parlour, on the big tv. With his microphone on. Now, some kids in America know I am peeing. I ignore the thought as I pee. I come out after peeing and see Johnny looking confused from my doorway. I rush back to him and leap into his arms and kiss him. I pull back after the kiss, and he is still holding me.

Cutie, all worried about me. I didn't want to tell you about the attack when you was working. I was gonna tell you that stuff when you got home. But, I got checked out by the doctor, only mild bruising. No permanent damage. And he described me as "Cute as two buttons on a puppy's bow tie." Which, I guess is a good thing. Do puppy's like bow ties?

Johnny turns and walks into my bedroom while holding me. He sets me on the bed and begins to kiss me. I let him kiss me, I taste his coffee. He likes it super sweet.

He pulls back, and looks at me with amazement in his eyes. There's a massive kindness in his eyes, I believe he will be a fantastic father.

I am so goddamn lucky to have you.

I take my top off and toss it at him. He notices my bruises and the cuts on my torso. He looks and I see the love in his fade, and turn to pain.

What's the matter?

This. This just hurts to look at. I wish I could take the pain for you, so you don't ever have to hurt.

I don't hurt. Not as long as I've got you. Come on, let's do this.

Johnny and I both finished stripping, and I hand Johnny a condom. He slide it on, and we spend the rest of the night making love.

I awake in the morning, wrapped up in the loving arms of my Johnny. He's still snoring, so I get up and wrap myself in a blanket, and go shower. When I get back into the room, Johnny is sitting up and watching the doorway. I has pulled his shorts on, and is covered. I close the door, and start to get dressed. He watches and smiles at me. I do a little dance as I drop my towel. He gestures me over, and I dance towards him. He pulls me onto the bed, and we make love one more time. When we finish, I get dressed, in a cute black blouse with frills, and a pair of adorable jeans. Johnny tells me that they make my butt look adorable. I giggle and try and look at it. I'm twisting and turning, and eventually fall down. I cannot see my own butt. :( Johnny pulls out a pair of jeans and a plain black shirt. He helps me to my feet and kisses me on the head.

We go into the living room, and snuggle up. Georgie is in there watching telly. When his programme ends, I ask him to get his camera set up. I need to do a promo. He sets his laptop up and watches from the side. I take a deep breath and hit record. Johnny stays quiet.

Hello, XWF! And Andy! Do you mind if I call you Andy, Drew? I prefer Andy cos it makes you sound nicer. And I think you're a really nice person. I'm sorry that your mum left you, and I'm sorry you dad died. We're not so different there, I guess. Only, I lost both my parents in the same day. And I had my brother, George, to help me through this, and I helped him. I don't want to keep dragging on about this, but I want you to know that you're not alone. I hope you don't think you're truly alone. Maybe when I pin you and you give me my title back, we can be friends. I did forgive you for that attack on me, by the way. I don't know why you did it, but I forgive you for it. Perhaps you just felt that you needed to get more attention. Did you not get enough of it on the streets, and now you have to act out like a naughty child?

Don't worry, Andy, I won't abandon you. I promise you, when this is all done and you give my belt back, we'll be friends still. Forever. You can even come over and pet the Goat I'm gonna buy. I heart furry animals.

Ok, I want to talk to your narrator now, I hope that's ok. Alfred, is it? Hi. How's your day? Is the workload ok? Not too stressful? I've never worked as a narrator, so I wouldn't know. I do want to talk to you about some things you said about me, though. You said I wasn't a nice girl because I lied to Johnny about knowing what his job was, and about the Eggy Fish Toast. Yeah, I did lie when I said that had eaten the toast before. And I did say that I knew exactly what he meant, which was only kinda true. I mean, I knew he played with animals and did science stuff. But, what science stuff exactly? I have no idea. Thing that's odd to me, though.

I don't have a narrator, I don't do voiceovers for my work. I don't like that stuff. It seems kind of like a sitcom if I do. So, how did you know that I thought that my lie was astounding and brilliant? Are you a psychic, or a vampire? I don't like vampires. They're scary. If you're a vampire, please don't bite me. I don't want to be all scary and growly. And if you're psychic, can you tell me what number I'm thinking of? It's between one and eleven.

What does the conversation with Jennifer have to do with anything? She didn't tell me about the competitors in the match, and it's somehow something you think you need to bring up? You know, she did express a dislike for me. Maybe she knew more about the people in the match than she wanted to let on, and wanted to end the conversation with me. Considering how quickly she got off the phone after I confused the match. I dunno, I just think you needed filler and wanted to reach for silly things to talk about. You tell me how wrong I am.

Or, are you going to call me a bad person again? Tell me that this isn't what a nice girl would do. Cos, I'm really hurt that you'd pick such a silly reason to say I'n not nice.

Johnny kisses me on the cheek, and then decides to speak.

Hey, Drew. I know you don't give a shit about me, and why should you? You're not fighting me. But, I gotta ask. How many shitty crime movies did you watch before you came up with such a lame story to tell about yourself? And did you bother trying to work on the way you talk so it sounds more natural and less like a cheap gangster movie? Just curious, Pesci, Jr.

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