NOCMM: What a dumb fuck.
If you're not

you should know exactly who NOCMM is talking about. NOCMM shakes his invisible head.
NOCMM: If you

want to believe what an alcoholic like Mastermind says then be my guest. Enjoy your poison and be wrong with him. I don't give a fuck. If you're a sheep who believes anything a drunk rookie says then you don't deserve to watch my promos. He said my client wasn't God and didn't even bother to provide evidence. That's just the lazy shit we all expect from LazyMind. He doesn't put effort into his promos because he views them as a chore or something he has to do. He said so himself the last time my client faced him with advance notice. Well, if Mastermind is going to just say my client isn't God, then I'm going to one-up him and say my client is God and actually PROVE IT with EVIDENCE.
NOCMM gasps.
NOCMM: Now all you new skool fans who are watching one of my promos for the first time may be thinking "Wait? He's actually going to PROVE something? I thought wrestlers just say things and expect everyone to believe them. How daring of him. This promo could change promos forever! I'm so fucking shocked right now! You can't get this with a MasterFaggot promo and you definitely can't get that with a Ghost Shit promo! NO FUCKING WAY!". Please settle down guys. This is how everyone cut promos back in the old skool. I'm not really innovating. I'm just cutting this promo correctly since apparently no one knows how to do that anymore.
NOCMM sips a non-alcoholic drink because he isn't a

who poisons himself.
NOCMM: I will bring on the evidence now. Let's start with something easy.
Quote:Hero Xtreme 7.9 enters a drug store and starts grabbing things off of shelves and putting them in a shopping cart. He gets some cough medicine, candy, a shovel, a cane and then he walks to the register.
Hero Xtreme 7.9: I'm buying stuff for my wrestling match.
Clerk: That's cool. That'll be $78.95.
Hero Xtreme 7.9: Is that with my God discount.
The clerk nods and Hero Xtreme 7.9 pays for the shit.
NOCMM: If Hero Xtreme 7.9 isn't God like Mastermind claims, then how did he qualify for the God discount? It looks like Mastermind is talking right out of his ass, but let's take a look at another piece of evidence.
Quote:500 Years Ago
The clouds parted like any other 1515 day. The sun scattered on the peninsula of demise.
Rookie: You’re not God, Hero Xtreme 1.0. You are just a man.
A lightning bolt rushed down from the sky and smitten him. Suicide by God. It was a common death back then but as time went on Hero Xtreme 1.0 became more comfortable with a rookie’s disbelief. Instead of killing them on the spot he would just damn them to hell and let their lives be taken when they’re taken.
He was too busy with prayers and shit to kill every stupid atheist.
NOCMM: And here we have video footage, FROM BEFORE cameras were invented. Any veteran historian will tell you this is legitimate footage, and veteran scientists are building a hypothesis or two based around this very footage as well. There was no way to capture moments like this besides God powers. God also has footage of me embarrassing Christopher Columbus in this promo here.
The link flashes across the screen.
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=19431
NOCMM: However, God allowed me to go back in time with a camera and film myself doing that, so it's not exactly the same thing. Do you really believe any one besides God can twist space and time like that, you drunk atheist fuck? I wish he would go back in time and make rookies less

. They'd be less of a headache for me.
NOCMM drinks something else that doesn't poison him, because he's not a suicidal

like Matsermind.
NOCMM: This is enough proof to prove my client is in fact God, but if some of you

new skool fans are too busy fisting your ass to listen to the facts like that drunkard BoozeMind I have even more proof.
Quote:Hero Xtreme 7.9 feet aren't on the ground anymore? The fuck? He's floating in the air and still flapping his arms.
Mastermind is fingertips away from the ropes when Hero Xtreme 7.9 flies into the ring and hits an Elbow Drop to Cohen, breaking up the submission attempt.
NOCMM: This may sound like common sense, but flapping your arms shouldn't make a human fly, but it did here. That's because Hero Xtreme 7.9 isn't a human; he's a God. Still got your hand in your ass Atheists? I think it's time to move my queen and call out checkmate then. Here's even more evidence.
Quote: Hero X-Treme 7.9 backs into the corner and begins glowing! He yells something in a different language and his hands begin to glow a fiery ember. Peter slowly gets back to his feet and looks at Hero in confusion. Hero rears his hands back and blasts a fireball in Peter’s direction! Peter yelps and falls to the mat making the fireball shoot over him and melt the middle turnbuckle padding on one of the corners. The orangish glow disappears.
Peter shakily gets to his feet, not quite understanding what just happened. Then Hero raises his hands and begins to chant another word in which no one understands! His hands turn a bluish, misty color. He extends his hand forward and an ice wave shoots from his hand and latches itself around the crotch of Peter!
NOCMM: Someone who can shoot fire out of their mouth and ice out of their hands, isn't God? Since when? That's the type of shit that people can only do in storybooks and video games, but it just happened in real life. There's only one explanation for that. God. So there's five examples of God's power against zero examples of God's lack of power from Mastermind. The list goes on too. Can people start using their brains yet? I'm sick of explaining to people how real life works every week. They should know, since they live here too.
NOCMM finishes his non-alcoholic beverage, somehow he can still function normally. I think it's because he wasn't drinking poison.
NOCMM: If you have any Atheist acquaintances make sure to show them this video and if they are rationalists like they claim they will have to concede that God exists and is currently wrestling in the XWF under the ring name Hero Xtreme 7.9. I'd look forward to Mastermind's promo where he mans up and admits he made a lazy mistake, but it won't happen. Mastermind is too gay, stupid,

, and stubborn to admit when he's wrong. He'll just keep fisting his asshole and pretend I said nothing like everyone else does. God is real, just open your eyes and fucking accept it, rookies.
NOCMM leaves the non-believers and quietly hopes for them to fix their lives and accept God. Atheists like Mastermind are too smug though so sadly nothing will come of it. It doesn't matter if you have checkmate when you're up against an Atheist, since they don't know how to play chess. They're too

. NOCMM comes to this realization as the scene fades to an Xtreme shade of black.
Star of The Month (February 2002)
WXC Tag Team Champion x3 (/w Venom Explosion (2), DJ Death)
UWF X-Treme Champion x5
UWF No Limits Champion x2
UWF Tag Team Champion x1 (/w Shaker Jones)
BBCXR Heavyweight Champion x4
SOW World Champion x2
RXW World Champion x1
RXW X-Division Champion x1
NWPW Rapid Division Champion x 3
WFWD Intercontinental Champion x2
XWL United States Champion x2
XWL European Champion x1
XWL Tag Bowl Winner (/w White Abyss)
BLOOD Bleeding Champion x3
All Time Record: 912-32-4
Hero Xtreme Un Record: 0-3-0
Priority prayers and more, back open for business.
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=20233