04-20-2015, 09:54 PM
The smell of fresh bud fills the small room in which Henry Hemmington is sitting in a large leather chair. The youngest Hemmington brother leans back in the chair taking in the essence of the small paperbound greenery in his hand. He sighs out a deep breath as smoke billows from his nostrils. Henry turns his attention to the computer in which sound is barely heard emanating from. He opens his iTunes and clicks on the first song he finds.
As the song begins to play, Henry hums along with the tune. He flips through the promos cut by his opponents for this week. His brow furrows as he watches intently. He nods every few seconds and pulls out a notepad in which he begins transcribing notes upon. They finish and Henry chews on the end of his pencil dissecting his own notes.
Hey bros! The name’s Henry Hemmington in case you two didn’t know. More specifically Outsider Joel. I know you’re a cool dude, but you kept calling me Henry Hemmingway. I’m not entirely sure who Mr. Hemmingway is, but perhaps we can add him to the match and really bring up the intensity of this match! Now you say you don’t know anything about me, but how much is known about you bro-man?
For starters, Outsider Joel is an outsider. It’s a shocking revelation I’m sure, but he chooses to live by himself and separate from society. Is this due to the broken relationship between yourself and Maria Brink? I’m afraid I wasn’t around for that supposed marriage or relationship, but I know the sting of rejection and a broken heart.
Typically, the only way to get past this hardship is to either move on or to talk about it. Honestly, this is probably the reason for all of the ill-feelings you are harboring towards my partner and me. What has Dick Powers done to you? He’s yet to say one foul word in your direction and you criticize him for his life choices? That’s tragic and unfortunate for us. We’ve not harmed you in any way, shape, or fashion and you elect to drag our names through the dirt.
For what reason do you have? Then you said…
“Fuck him. I don’t know anything about him.â€
Once more this doesn’t seem to be my problem. This isn’t my first rodeo. In fact, I won my very first match in convincing fashion! Can you say the same? How many matches have you won? I’m sure it’s a bunch, but it’s still not fair to swear at me when you don’t understand what you’re saying.
You also threatened to stab me with splinters? I tell you, that’s a first time. I don’t believe I’ve ever heard someone say that. Stab me with splinters. Kudos to you on originality! I am highly interested to see just how you go about doing such a thing.
But let me tell you something Outsider Joel, the weirdest thing you said to me in that promo was claiming that Dick and I were two-thirds of the Brick Squad. While I’m not the strongest in the subject, I’m pretty sure that 2 out of 5 does not equate to 2 out of 3. I could be wrong, but I’m fairly certain they don’t equate. But hey! Don’t get discouraged little buddy! You’re an Outsider. I’m pretty sure even Scott Hall or Kevin Nash couldn’t have gotten that math problem right.
You know, Outsider Joel, we’re not that different, you and me. I like being interviewed; you like being interviewed. I won a match on Madness; you won a match on Madness. I’m in a tag team on Warfare; you’re in a tag team on Warfare. You have a Radroach; I like playing Fallout. In fact, you should come over to my house when you get into California! We could blast Radroaches together on my brother’s PS3!
One thing you said did make me wonder. You said you didn’t care about winning. Huh? Well why not? Why would you join this business if you didn’t want to win? You want to lose or you just like inflicting pain? Either way, I think you should try to change your attitude friend. You don’t have to be down on yourself! I believe you can win this if you really go out there and try your hardest. Alright, bro? Fist bump.
But I think that’s enough about Joel. He’s a class act, and I’m really looking forward to going teaming up against him! Brick Squad will be ready! I hope you guys are too!
But on the other side we have Buster Mac! Now Buster Mac seems like a really cool cat!
First, he’s a secret agent! You know he’s telling everyone and he’s a secret agent! How cool is that?! I mean if I were a secret agent, I’d do the same thing! Tell everyone who could be reading it my real name and where I’m going while I do it! Seems like the best course of action. Who knows? Maybe I can even develop a smoking habit just like him! I can be just as cool as him and the Marlboro Man! Ride around on a horse and smoke a cigarette. Bro, that’s gangsta.
But I really appreciate Buster Mac giving me a pass! He knew I was busy on Madness kicking some serious behind while waiting my time to get prepared for this match. Although you should cut your partner some slack! He also had a match on Madness in which he won! Your partner is on a winning streak! You should be proud! After all, you look at his record before that and he wins about the same time the Cubs win the World Series.
I apologize.
That was uncalled for, but maybe next time you’ll remember my name and we can actually talk back and forth rather than you talking to some, undoubtedly attractive, gentleman with the same first and similar last name!
This was a blast, now I’ve got to go do something more productive. Like grow some more greenery.
Squad out, bros.
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