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Hero Xtreme 7.9 · **04-19-2015, 09:33 PM**

NOCMM: If I was an optimist, I'd say, "At least that's something." I'm not an optimist. I don't have low expectations for the Warfare roster, but maybe I should. All we got were three shit promos while I was taking my mandatory break. Well now I have four more promos than Peter Gilmour. Don't worry though, his promo will be epic. FAT chance.

NOCMM scoffs at his wristwatch.

NOCMM: I think I get why this

takes his time, because he's a little SLOW. I mean that in multiple ways. This

can't run and he can't think at a reasonable rate, but supposedly this is the best rookie on the roster. I guess all the rookies are slow,

, stupid, fat fucks then. If Peter Gilmour is the best rookie you got then maybe you should close your training camp now because your trainers are shit. Oaktree, you should invest in some treadmills and pay your guys in xbux to work-out. If you do that people flipping the channels won't think they were on THE OPRAH WINFREY network for a moment.

NOCMM spits acid at an Asian man's pet walrus, melting it. The demon mourns the passing of his pet before he grabs his harmless Gameboy Advance and rapes a woman. Hopefully it isn't a transgendered woman because that would be gay.

NOCMM: The O is a shit network, Oaktree, don't be fooled by Oprah's whimsical left personality. Being associated with her network is a ratings death sentence. This isn't a sumo wrestling league owned by Oprah, and the fans shouldn't be led to believe it is one. These lazy fucks are ruining Warfare's good name, so if you aren't going to cut the dead weight then maybe you should reward staying in shape, being healthy, and having lots of muscles.

NOCMM turns a blind eye to the rape going on four hundred feet away from him. If he reported the crime or not the libtards would still imply that men of similar skin tones to him don't do such a thing. He found that her cries for help added to the ambiance of his promos anyway. The old skool fans love the sound design of this particular promo so far, so why add police sirens to the mix?

NOCMM: If all these shitty rookies were more like God then the XWF would be a better place. I wish they tried to be. Then I could be one of those people that loves their jobs.

NOCMM starts eating his salad as the scene fades to an Xtreme shade of black.

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