"Chris MacBeth. You and I...we have much in common. We both spend our lives honing our bodies and our skills to be the best they can be. We're constantly seeking out new challenges. And we meet those challenges head on with the skill and strength we've honed. We don't look to help from others, we don't look for trapdoors. Win or lose, we make our stand, one-on-one. And so I do respect you. And I wish you luck."

Having said her piece, Vixen, one half of the Iron Valkyries, then steps back from the camera. Big Bad Leroy, her employer, steps into view.

Big Bad Leroy: Exactly. Vixen has a lot in common with you, Chris MacBeth. And that's why I'm the boss and she's the employee. Because she's an idiot. Jade, come here. Say a few words. Tell them how you feel about fighting and hard work and stuff."

Jade, the other half of the Iron Valkyries, walks up to the camera.

Jade: I also respect Chris MacBeth. He's a gallant warrior. He works hard, he fights hard. Same as me. He can be ruthless but sometimes you must be ruthless in pursuit of your dreams. He relies on nothing but himself and his own strength and courage. Same as me. That is commendable.

Big Bad Leroy pushes Jade back off camera.

Big Bad Leroy: See, both my bodyguards are equally as stupid as Chris MacBeth, but that's alright. They're bodyguards. They're supposed to be stupid. Chris MacBeth, you have no excuse for being as stupid you are. Look at yourself! Running into the ring, fighting your opponents man to man! Taking your licks! What kind of spineless, weak-kneed wimp are you? A real man never fights his own battles! A real man is strong enough and dominant enough to make people fight his battles for him. Clearly, you are a 155-pound weakling who isn't strong enough to force people to do things for him! When it comes to Big Bad Leroy, people are tripping over themselves to do my dirty work for me! Why? Because that's how badly they wanna get on my good side! I'm large and in charge! That's right, MacBeth...or should I say...Mac-Serf! You may as well be a serf...or a slave...the way you run around taking punishment, fighting battles...all for a quick buck!

Vixen: Leroy, the way you are talking...are you planning on making me and Jade do ALL the fighting this time...?

Big Bad Leroy: Well, last time, Steve Sayors was supposed to step up and do what his beta-male coward-self was supposed to do for me, given that I do let his beta-male self breath my alpha-male air....BUT STEVE SAYORS FAILED ME! And so you babes had to do all the work. But don't worry, its a different program this time.

Jade: Oh wow! You mean, you're actually going to fight Chris MacBeth so that we won't have to? How chivalrous! How...how...how romantic!

Big Bad Leroy: Naw! I got something better! I call it....the Master Plan! First, we got my man Funky the Clown, to provide distraction to the referee...! He can juggle, dance...do magic tricks! The ref won't know what hit him!



Funky the Clown appears out of nowhere and attempts to fondle the Iron Valkyries, who slap his hands away in disgust and surprise.

Big Bad Leroy: Next, we got my ninja army to do their ninja thing and hide in various places in the arena, unseen to the untrained eye, though totally visible to MY highly trained alpha-male eyes!



Iron Vixens: Ninja army? What ninja army...? Where....?

Big Bad Leroy: Exactly! You can't see 'em! The camera isn't even picking them up! They're ninjas! Even the ref with the sharpest eyes is going to miss them when they storm into his ring and beat the stuffing out of Chris MacBeth! But lets be honest...takes more than ninjas to beat Chris MacDuff! Daredevil's blind and he beat the crap out of The Hand--a famed clan of New York-based ninjas--without even really trying! And Leo, Donnie, Mikey and Raph...they're a bunch of pizza-eating softies that I've never see even pick up a weight...and look what they did to The Foot!

Iron Valkyries: The Foot....?

Big Bad Leroy: A clan of New York-based ninjas. Don't worry babes. These guys are from Jersey. And they've got hands...and feet! So they're twice as tough as those other chumps. But I'm still a realist. And yeah, no clan of ninjas was ever enough to defeat a protagonist by themselves. But! They're not gonna get caught...and that means no DQ! All they have to do is soften MacDuff up....for....

.......

The Iron Valkyries wait with baited breath. The door to the studio suddenly begins to shake and the hinges shutter. Someone or something is going to blast through that door like a nuclear battering ram very...very....soon.

Big Bad Leroy: First, lemme introduce the major distraction...Koda Han, Mistress of Disguise!

Han steps into view, transforming between outfits at superhuman speed.



Big Bad Leroy: Hidden somewhere in the crowd, she'll jump the barricade and unleash her ability to look any number of video-game, comic-book, movie or cartoon characters...thus either making the referee fall in love with her...or annoy him....or scare him or weird him out!



Finally, the door can take no more. A final shudder and it explodes off the hinges, revealing a titan of a man standing at the entrance way.

Big Bad Leroy: I present to you someone equally as stupid as Chris MacBeth...! Every bit as willing to foolishly sacrifice his body in physical combat like some halfwit gladiator! My newest addition to the team...Ultra!



Big Bad Leroy: You see, while Han feigns as if Funky the Clown has assaulted her, the referee will be completely caught up in their little drama...at which point Ultra takes to the ring...with one mission in mind....THE DESTRUCTION OF CHRIS MASTERS! Cue the lightning!



Big Bad Leroy: Now, on three...all together...not you, Ultra, 'cause I know talking ain't your thing...but the rest of you...one, two...three...

As lightning flashes around them, Leroy's entourage engages in an evil group laugh.