"He who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in his dealings with men. We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals.” - Immanuel Kant.
Hell, when the blood began trickling down and hit my foot, I knew exactly what I felt about the subject. I knew exactly what I wanted to spread the word about, warning people. Things which are kept hidden...
A trail of red slid down the stone patio from different directions, all intertwined and trying to chase each other, it was a thing of beauty if you were anyone but someone who knew what had happened. To my right, a pile of dead goats. All stacked up, neatly, with Bo being the latest edition.
"What the FUCK?!"I fall to my knees and start punching at the ground. My knuckles start bleeding and my entire vision is just filled with red. My favourite colour... Not anymore. My head was spinning and I felt sick, everything seemed to slow down. It seemed I was moving faster than the flowers swaying in the wind than it seemed possible. A doorbell.
Ding-Dong.
Ding-Dong.
Ding-Dong.
Was this inside my head? Has the past become to haunt me? My fingernails dig into the wooden floorboards as I head back inside, desperately but with a sense of laziness. The white door towers over me as my stomach is heavy and I want to throw up. Everything seemed smaller. The door opens as I am struck twice with the baton, wielded by two men with spiked masks. I can't say what happens next, as my vision is swallowed up by a maelstrom of blackness and the red seeping from my forehead, but I could feel the wet grass press against my back as I am forcefully thrown into some sort of metal room... or object? Finally, I lose conscience.
Wake up.
I gasp for air as I jolt upright. This bed was shitty. Like NHS hospital bed shitty. I had a flashback, which could also be classed as a nightmare, shows how shitty my life is eh? I kid. Cut the emo shit. I had prepared. Pinhead, the villain who wanted to test on yours truly, wouldn't do anything lethal, but I've prepared for anything. I thought of going back to sleep but I struggled to do so in the first place, so I got up and banged on the door to get the guards attention.
"Oi. I'm ready."
"Aight. Hold up."
The man walked over and unlocked the door. He walked me back into the science lab room thingy, where Pinhead was sat at the chair, like always. There were pods full of different animals who were ripe for testing I presumed. I waited to be greeted by my loveable nemesis, but instead of making conversation, I was pulled aside by a scientist.
"Listen man..."He hesitated."The shit he's doing here ain't right, so I'm gonna change up this experiment a bit."
"What?"
"He's bet a lot of money on you losing the first match, because he's gonna inject you with a drug that'll make you very ill and in no state to compete. I'm gonna stop that. I'm gonna inject you with something that'll help you."
He returns to becoming a drone. You could hardly notice him amongst the everlasting stream of white coats, dancing around and mixing, burning, testing, computer-ing. Shit. I head over to Pinhead, who's waking up.
"Ah... so glad you could make it... are you ready to taste pain?"
"Testing on animals is disgusting. I've seen what you're doing here. Well, I'm a man. I'm not fucking afraid of you."
"Too late. I made a deformed half goat half penis and I must say, that was extremely entertaining."
I control my anger. "Get this over and done with."
"Oh how I do find your brash bravado cute. Sit in the chair."
I move over and sit in the chair. I placed a metal tray that the cards delivered my food on down the back of my shirt, so the thorns don't dig in. This chair was designed to torture. Bracing for the pain that never came, Pinhead whistles and two scientists rush over, syringe in hand. The familiar scientists winks.
A deafening roar shakes the room, as a muscular mutant half shark half man breaks out of a pod to the right of me, spraying water and glass over a crowd of screaming lab coats. In the confusion, the scientist who I met at the beginning slams his fist into the opposite scientist face and injects the liquid into my neck. I am overcome by a strange sensation, as the world starts spinning and I seem to grow. The tray breaks as I attempt to stand up, the thorns breaking off and falling onto the floor.
"What the fuck?!"shouts an irritated and confused Pinhead, before being sent flying across the room and into a computer monitor, before sliding off and onto the floor in a crumpled heap. I stare at the behemoth that made this happen and he returns the stare. Maybe this Jaws character could prove to be quite the fucking use.
He swipes at the scientist and places him on his shoulders. Before leaping into the air and smashing through the ceiling. I hesitate, before doing the same. Holy shit is this super jumping fun! I land on what seems to be the roof of the building, with Jaws sprinting ahead of me. I chase after him with... Fucking super speed! Hell yeah! Reaching the edge of the roof, we get a good view of the whole compound.
A barbed wire fence with guard towers dotted around the place. There was also numerous military vehicles too. In each tower there were two armed guards who were probably alerted right now. Maybe we should plan this ou-
Jaws leaps off the roof and lands on the other side of the barbed wire in one swift motion.
"Fuck this."I mutter under my breath, before jumping off myself. Shrugging off the mosquito bites that were the bullets of the armed guards. When I land on the concrete road on the other side, Jaws drops the scientist on the ground, who walks over to shake my hand.
"Professor Manley, nice to meet you."
"What the fuck is this stuff dude?! This is awesome!"
"Oh don't worry, it'll wear off in a few hours."
I guess I'm unable to hide my disappointment as Jaws laughs and slaps Professor Manley on the back, sending him sliding about two metres.
"You're not prepared to take anymore Xenogyn. Jaws here is the only test subject in the world who is can handle a constant stream of it, but the downside is that when he is without it he dies."
"So... What now?"
"We get back and prepare for your little match."
"Good deal... SHIT! What about Greggo! Oh for fucks sake."
"The guy you came with? They executed him."
"NO! NOO! Shane will fucking kill me because I've killed off his character!"
"Haha! I'm kidding. Jaws?"
Jaws opens his mouth and out slides a rather wet Greggo. When is he ever NOT wet?
"Mmmm... Yeah... That shark dude gave me a nice warm sick surprise of a cold lunch right in mah mouth here... better reward him with a bit of Alabama Hot Pocket..."
The sharkman glares at Greggo. Who shrugs and makes the 'I want it all and get it all' face. I laugh and we all turn towards the sun, which is searingly hot and blinding. I wonder what happens now? Who knows. Shit. We have a scrotum caresser, a smartass scientist, a mutant shark and a wrestler with a beard who thinks he's a superhero. Bo may be no more, but I learned in the last couple of days there's more to life than goats. It took all my life's work to disappear in an instant for that to become a realisation to me, but it worked. However, a friend was lost and he will be avenged.
I'm not a superhero.
I sure as hell ain't a supervillain.
What am I?
The GOAT FACE KILLA!
WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT IN OUR NEW SERIES OF GOAT FACE KILLA? WILL OUR HERO WIN THE IC TOURNEY? OR WILL HE COME UP SHORT! STAY TUNED FOR ISSUE #004: I KID, KID. TO HIT THE SHELVES!
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