LH Harrison wakes up in a room unfamiliar to him. He blinks a few times before he notices Frodo sitting next to him grinning like a .

What are we doing?

"I'm about to leave, and you're gonna wait here for Katie. You can peep on her. Evens"

What?! I'm not peeping! I told you this before!

"Too late. I'm getting up, and if you leave the bathroom, she'll think we were having gay sex. And she'll tell everyone you take it up the ass in closets, just like Knight."

Frodo pops out of the closet and heads out of the bathroom, leaving Harrison stuck hiding in the closet. After a minute or so Katie walks in and begins to check herself out in the mirror. She slowly lowers her pants, revealing a pair of cute pink and black Hipster panties.

"Oh god, these fucking Cramps."

She reaches into the medicine cabinet and pulls out a bottle of Midol, pours a few in her hand and takes them. Before dropping her panties and pulling a nasty red tampon out of her vagina. The smell of rotting blood fills the bathroom. She tosses the tampon in the trash can, which is right by the closet Harrison is hiding in.

The smell climbs into the nostrils of LH Harrison as he's about to puke. Katie closes the lid and he breathes a sigh of relief. He watches her now with disgust as she plops down on the toilet. He looks on in horror as he hears liquid begin to fill the bowl. As he watches her, he begins to hear the sound...

PLOOSH!

Katie had begun taking a poop with LH Harrison in the room. LH's eyes cross as he leans back against the wall. Katie continues taking her number two and flushes after wiping. LH hears the sound of the running water as he looks up. He peers through doors and sees her rather large, firm buttocks. LH Harrison catches himself staring and looks down. His eyes betray them as they flick up every now and then before she gets in. After she gets in, LH Harrison jumps out of the door and exits the bathroom. He walks into the other room to see Frodo sitting with Swagmire.

LH Harrison looks over at Swagmire with surprise.

Hey... Swagmire. Sorry about the little attack after our match at Relentless.

"Nigga. You nasty. You peeping on my niece pooping. What the fuck is wrong with you? You like to make little poop angels in her shit?"

Frodo is dying with laughter.

"Oh shit. This almost makes up for me not being dead yet. Fuck, Harrison's got a shit fetish!"

Frodo reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a can of Fancy Feast. He gestures it towards Swaggy and Harrison as if offering it. They both deny and he trots off to the living room before plopping on the sofa. He cues up the footage of his match with Levi Storm. Harrison and Swagmire come into the room. He's excitedly pointing towards the TV.

"I buried this dude in Barney's shit, You jelly?"

Why would I want to see you submerge someone in shit, Frodo?

"Because you like that shit, negro!"






A Mariachi band enters.

"Who the fuck brought a Mariachi band into my house? I've seen Desperado. I know what this shit means."

Luca enters behind them with a certain vibe about him.

Luca, you... seem a little bit different. What's with the posse?

Different? Shit mangs, not you too! I ain't no different than I was last time aaaaaaaaaaand this ain't no posse. See, this here, is a Mariachi band. Say it with me LH. Mare-ee-ah-chee.

"Jesus, Harrison. Are you a racist and a Shit Fetishist now?"


"You disgust me"

Racist? Wouldn't racist be assuming they're a mariachi band or Mexican? I just meant he's wearing a tarp! When have you seen Luca wear a tarp?

IT. IS. A. PONCHO.

Poncho?! Is it raining outside or something? Why would you need a poncho?

"Racial pride. Something you clearly have too much of, Mr. KKKShit"

red]Yeah! It's the official apparel of my people! Well, that and wifebeaters but all of mine are soaked in blood or something less incriminating.[/red]

Something like whatever's in Knight's adult diapers?

Katie walks into the living room wearing only a robe, her hair is still wet from the bath.

"Hey, Luca. Nice Poncho. Glad you're embracing your heritage. No way a white boy could throw dick like you did. Also, Harrison, I saw you watch me shit."

I-uh-you-uh... you did? Why didn't you tell me?

Woah woah woah what the flying fuck did I just walk into amigos? We got shit voyeurism up in here? God dammit Harrison!

"Because I thought you were masturbating. I don't need to see that. Can't believe you like girls shitting, though. Come by the club. We have tones of girls who will shit on you for money. Fat ones, too. Don't you southerners love fat girls? Remind you of the cows back on the farm?"

The only thing that reminded me of cows today was the smell of what you just dropped in the toilet. Smells far worse than any cow patty, I've smelled in Hope. I'm not into poop, Luca. Don't let Frodo, his backwards racist brother, or his daughter lead you astray.

Luca puts his hand on LH's shoulder.

Bromigo. How fuckin' easy do you think I am to fool? I mean, first thing you do when someone claims you been watching them shit is to ask if they did? Nah, amateur hour lying shit right there. I can see right through this shit pun slightly intended without trying. Then again I did manage to convince a chick who walked in on me cheating on her that the other girl slipped, fell, and landed on my dick so...

"Harrison, if you're not into shit, why were you watching me shit?"

I don't know, Frodo. Why was I watching her defecate?

"I'm not sure. Maybe you're a poop peeper?"

Frodo pulls out a bag of Coke and sets it on the table.

"Look, we got Luca, we got Swag, and we got Harrison. We making this a party or not?"

"Cop. Not doing that."

More like pussy. Amirite or amirite?


"Whatever. I'm out. Taylor Swift has a new DVD out. I want to watch her shake it off some more."

Swagmire heads to the door before stopping and turning to face Harrison.

"Shame. Shame on you, Shitboy."

Oh go pull over a black man for playing his music too loud or something. I'm going to pass on the powder as well.

"You a pussy, too? No wonder Jessica fucked Swann."

C'mon mang don't be such a puta. Putas ain't caca, amigo. GODDAMMIT PUT YOUR BONER AWAY!

Jeez, Frodo! No one wants to see that! Not again!

I was talkin' 'bout you shitbird.

"Not me, man. I ain't got hard since Sarah left."

I'm sorry, Frodo. I know it's hard to lose someone so close. I'm sure Luca has lost some people along the way too.

Frodo digs into the bag of Coke bringing out a handful and inhaling it.

"Shit, this is the good stuff."

God dammit, are we supposed to be havin' a moment here? Don't tell me I came back only to be caught in the middle of some chick flick bullshit.

"What kind of moment could we have with a bag of Coke and Harrison watching people shit? This is like a Seth Rogen film."

Should I go beat up your neighbors now? Or am I assassinating the leader of North Korea?

"Neither. You're taking a hit of the blow, and chilling the fuck out."

Yeah. And if you don't, I'll just toss a handful of that shit into your face mang. You're gettin' it one way or another and that ain't what she said god fucking dammit.

Yeah neither of those options are happening, but we need to discuss this match guys.

Frodo gets up and throws a handful of Coke in Harrison's face.

"Get high, nigga!"

That was supposed to be my job!

Luca runs his ass over to the wall and punches a hole into it.

There. Even.

"You punched my wall?"

He looks t it for a second.

"Fair deal."

LH Harrison begins scrapping at his eyes and is trying to remove it from his face, but he's breathed in far too much. He plops down on the couch behind him and stares straight ahead, still with powder on his face. He says nothing, but begins to growl.

If this thing tries to bite me, I'm kicking it in the face. Partner or nah.

"Fuck, is he housebroken?"

Frodo looks at Harrison for a minute while growls like a dog in the woods.

"If he tries to piss on the carpet, I swear to god, I'm going to fucking rape him."
LH Harrison jumps up, roars like a fucking lion, and then pounces on one of the Mariachi band members. He begins pounding him and beating him into the ground. He looks up and makes eye contact with the other mariachi player. The player is frozen and unmoving.

God dammit! Jose, be calm. Its vision is based on movement. Don't move and you'll be fine.

Jose doesn't listen and tries to bolt out the door.

LH Harrison leaps like one of those fucking flip frogs that you press down their ass and they spring up... if you don't know what I'm talking about then just a damn frog. Jeez. You suck. He lands on Jose and they crash through the glass front door of the house and the sounds of screaming is heard as LH begins dragging Jose away from the doorway.

"Dude, Sarah won't come back if there's blood on the house!"

LH walks back into the house with his chest puffed out and one arm behind his back and his other making a 90 angle with his body. He's just saying words like 'pip, pip' and 'govna' as he drags the other guy out of the house, leaving a blood trail. After a few moments, LH walks back into the house and plops back onto the couch and leans back staring straight ahead at Luca.

"What the fuck?"

You eyein' me up? Cuz, I ain't no homo. Take that shit on over to TJ Wallace.

"Give him another nightmare. Hahaha. Pussy."

LH smiles with his eyes very red as he stares straight at Luca.

He probably wants me to. How often do you think he, Swann, Knight, Loverboy, and MacClay are human centipeding it?

That's implying they stop.

"Oh, all the time. Except Lane. He's still trying to figure out how to go down on himself. Dude is obsessed with sucking his own dick."

Man, don't twist my words... I mean... I mean how often a week, y'know?

"No one's twisting shit. They go at it all the time. I walked in the back to find them shitting into each other's faces. It was the nastiest thing I ever saw. You'd probably get hard for it, though."

I once ripped a man's tongue out of his mouth and stapled it to his forehead for ratting someone out to the police... little snitch. Man... this stuff is so good...

The other two look at him with incredulous expressions.

Frodo takes another hit of it.

"I broke into your house, and jerked off in your wife's panties once."

LH brings a fist down breaking a vase on the sidetable. The vase cuts LH's hand open, but he doesn't notice it.

You did what?! How dare you! I... I...

LH doubles over in laughter as he rolls on the ground.

"Oh. Wait, that was Gwen I did that to. Fuck. I peep on so many different people. It's not even funny."

Kinda funny from where I'm standing.

Says Luca with a deadpan voice and expressionless face.

Only kinda though.

LH stands up and plops back down on his back on the couch.

Lucaaaaa, what do you think about The Underground? You think you can handle Loverboy again?

Depends. Think you can not get pinned this time?

"Bruhs. Wallace is in the match. No way anyone but Wallace will take the pin."

Depends. Will Knight be wearing them?

He begins laughing before becoming serious meeting Luca's gaze.

I will not get pinned! I will be doing the pinning! Then I get to get a title shot, right?

Yeah, sure sparky. Whatever.

LH Harrison's phone begins to buzz. He looks at it and his face goes white.

Guys, I've got go. Really nice having this little meeting. And thank you Frodo for... that viewing? I guess?

"Just give it to Luca. He'll purposefully screw whatever match he's in up so that the champ retains. Lane will get pissed off and cry. We'll all have a laugh. Good times. Noodle Salad."

LH stands up, waves, and then exits the house.

Frodo throws his entire face into the bag. Katie's still standing there very confused. She turns to Luca.

"You wanna go for round two?"

Keeping my dick? Yeah, I'd rank that higher. Mariachi band, assemble!

The sole mariachi band member not rekt by LH's onslaught snaps to attention and follows Luca out of the house.