"No, and it's pretty simple we shouldn't. Because she won't stay, just show up to piss and moan and stink the place up with her nasty ass ho smell. Maybe tell us about how she's a fallen angel goddess of Venice or some shit. But not Venice Italy, some super secret ancient Venice that's only accessible through time portals in the Gulf of Zanzibar. Or something equally as fucking . Because it's Ally Whoreaway. The fucking whore that she is. Didn't she try and say she was the best thing to happen to Azrael? Oh, no, she let her friend Dyson say that. Because a trailer trash is best suited to speak for another trailer trash . Perfect. And life is still peachy. Oh, wait, I'm being way too mean guys. Way too mean. I might hafta apologize or something. This far in Ally's going to be crying worse than that stupid little sick girl in Fault in our Stars when the dude with cancer dies. Because teenagers with cancer have nothing better to do than cry about other cancer teens. Like Ally has nothing better to do than cry because she's a slut with a rotten cunt. Wait. Is she even going to cut a promo for this match? Or is it going to be like Zak and his shit?
Comes in wanting two matches, then silence. Dead fucking silence. Not fucking heard from since. Is Ally going to do that? Pretend to be all hyped for the match and then vanish? God, I hope so. If I have to sit through one of her teenage drama promos, knowing that she's digitally editing it while blasting Katy Perry because it makes her feel alive, I will literally saw my own dick off. I know, I'm supposed to be killing myself, right? Well, it's gotta wait until I kick the shit out of Callaway. Because I've been trying to get this for a long while. Stupid fucking cunt. Can you believe she has the audacity to refer to herself as the Queen of Hardcore? Like she's fucking Gilly's wife or something. And claims to be the Taker's kid. Just like that Michael that Sweet Caroline with her adorable ass busted in the jaw. Hey, did you guys know I took Caroline's virginity? On National Television. She was so good I didn't know. Opposite of Ally. Ally's just all around shit. In like everything. She ever fucking attempts. I bet she could tell us a story about a botched suicide attempt or something.
You know what started this shit with Ally and me? Misery. Yeah, Zak Misery. Because she thought she had some claim to him, well take the worthless . And no, Lane, he really is a huge fucking homo. Anyway, take him, you two deserve to flail around and together. Flop on the deck like you've got control of a quarter of your body. Because if your last name is either Callaway or whatever made up last name Micah and Misery are using this week, it's probably true you only figured out how to move a quarter of your body. Wanna know what I'm going to do in the match? I am literally going to have Chinese delivered to me in the ring, and eat it while I kick Ally's ass. Srsly, guise. Can I get a round of applause for that? Nah. It'd be more impressive if I did that in the match with The Underground. Who, I know are begging me to back away from the fight, but it ain't happening. Like not ever. You got as much chance of Callaway winning this match as you do of me backing down. None. Kirk will have to try and block me, but then we know he doesn't have enough power or balls to even attempt that. Tigris would, but you guys don't know what it's like to have a GM with balls, do you?
Oshit, this is running too long. I have given too much attention to Ally. Fuck, bai guys. I'm only coming back if she actually addresses me."