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X-treme Wrestling Federation »  RP Archive » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
Jingle Bells
Author Message
LH Harrison Offline
The Inspiration of the XWF



XWF FanBase:
Kids, women, some teens

(fighting the odds; helps others; disliked by adult males)


#1
12-20-2014, 11:18 PM



An alleyway. Dark and dreary with the smell of garbage coming from the nearby dumpster. A man drapped in ratty clothing torn and tattered. Behind him is a small box labeled "Important! Do NOT touch!" The man wanders back and forth pacing. Despite the pacing, his movement seems strange and off-kilter. The man wearing the ragged hoodie throws the hood off to reveal... a whole lot of hair. The shaky hand pats the hair back and pulls a ragged comb out and begins to sort through the hair getting it semi-organized. The shaky hand then begins to comb the beard hair down as well. As the excessive amount of beard and head hair are removed, the face reveals... some homeless guy. Not quite what was expected. The man stands up straight with his enormous belly sticking out from under the bottom of the hoodie. The man instantly stops twitching and something in the man's eyes seems familiar and terrifying. The man begins to speak as his teeth are revealed as mostly missing.

Hello everybody. Did you miss me? It's your good ol' buddy LH Harrison! It seems I've gained a little weight since last time we saw each other.

The toothless, fat man barrel laughs before resuming his stare ahead.

Well I'm sure you're wondering why I am a rather rotund homeless man and the answer to that is... I have no body. Well during the lapse of this week anyways. I've been tasked with putting myself in the shoes of others such as Gator's friend/cameraman Todd, this homeless man by the name of... Obadiah Stane, and possibly others before my Christmas match with Gator against the most pathetic excuse for a Universal Champion I've ever seen and girl opposed to trash talking.

Let's start with Mr. Davids. You claim that you don't know me and well... what's to really know? All you truly need to know is that I'll be the one putting your sorry butt in a bodybag at the end of the night. Whether it's before or during the gauntlet. Seriously man, congratulations. I'm sure half the roster is envious of you getting to be the placeholder champion until John Samuels knocks your front teeth out. But hey, you should go ahead and make a wish. Go ahead and tell Santa Claus that all you want for Christmas is your two front teeth. Go ahead! That way, when I knock them out, you can have your replacement set ready! Wouldn't want to deprive Mr. Samuels of that privilege now would I? After all, it is the season of giving! I hope you enjoy your little time with that belt around your waist and your name at the top of the card. Because it won't last. Hell it probably won't last until the end of January. I may even see to it that it doesn't. Now that's a little harsh, but something about you just rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it's your little sniveling tone, your cocky demeanor, or the way you just ignored me all week. Hello?! I'm right here Mr. Transitional Champion! Yoohoo! But I suppose it's too much to ask the Universal Champion to do some research, right? Oh well, you become very antiquated with my fist once it bludgeons your eye socket and gives you a nice shiner for the holidays.

Speaking of transitions, let's move to Iris Oppenheimer. Hello little lady. Glad to have you aboard the brand! But something... something about your face just looks wrong... in fact, it's creepy as hell! Normally, I'd never hit a girl, but, seeing as I'll not really be in my true form... I don't see that as hitting a girl. Even one as creepy looking as you. Now, I do like how you absolutely skated around saying anything bad about me! That's very kind of you. That being said, I'll leave you alone as well. Aren't I a nice guy? Hmm... well I will insult you on one account. Your choice in tag team partner is very lacking. I mean, did you see how he treated you? That's horrendous! Gator would never treat me like some groupie! No matter how much more he's accomplished than I have. My time is coming and you shall all see that very soon. Big things are in the works for myself and my... mentor of sorts.

You see, he was the one that thought I could benefit from taking different forms during the holidays in order to connect myself with the people of the world. After all, Doctor D'Ville's dream and mine align now. He raised me from the ashes and here I stand. Perfectly normal. Well... almost perfectly normal. But there are a few men that I need to settle up with.

Peter Gilmour. I haven't forgotten about your rotund self. You cry foul and hide under your mattress, but, in due time, I will find you. I will force to tap out and then I will snap your creamy calves like a twig. You've been warned.

Morbid Angel. I suggest you kill me again before I get to you as there will be nowhere for you to hide either. You still have my daughter and I plan to take her back. As for the travesties that you showed to my other child and my former wife... I will take you jingle bells and crush them into small fragments and then force them down the throat of your own son. I mean... Morbidshots, right?


The body begins to shake and shiver.

It seems my host has begun to rebuke me. It's time for me to jet. Tomorrow night. I will show you guys the true meaning of Christmas spirit whenever I smash a gift over the head of a champion and a girl too young for this business. Seriously hunny, why don't you just go work at a Hot Topic or a Starbucks instead of getting into the ring with a future Universal Champion like myself. It'll save you a lot of embarrassment. Same goes for you, Mr. Davids. Go back to working at a porn store or a construction job. You look like you're due for some remedial work.

The body begins to shake furiously as a blue mist seemingly exits the ears and mouth of the body. The blue mist floats off into the wind as the body hits the ground and begins bleeding immensely from the ears, eyes, and nose. The eyes of the man are wide open and look terrified.

The scene fades to black...

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