“GGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!”

A perky male voice yells to the pleasure of a cheering audience. The camera fades in to a stage surrounded by people giving a standing ovation. Morbid Angel stands center stage wearing a black suit and tie holding a long stemmed microphone with his long hair well groomed and carefully draped across his shoulders. A cheesy forced smile creeps across his face as the microphone moves closer to his mouth.

Morbid Angel-“ Good evening Ladies and Gentleman! I am your host, Kyril Krizchiv!”

His thick Russian accent piercing through with every word giving the fans a little something to linger on and wanting more from the exotic accent spoken by the steroid addled beast.

Morbid Angel-“Tonight we have a special and NEW SHOW for everyone! Tonight is the first episode for my new television show called “I BET YOU WOULD!”

The crowd screams and cheers.

Morbid Angel-“Now, here is where the prizes can be anything! And the goal is to prove that people will do just about anything for cash! Those who refuse to believe that cash can’t buy everything will be truly put to the test! ARE YOU READY?!”

The screaming persists as Morbid throws his large arms into the air and sucks in the cheering as if it were for him and not about the chance to win some fucking money!

He quickly lowers his arms and fixes his hair before speaking again.

Morbid Angel-“Tonight our first contestant is a 9th grade school teacher from deep within the bible belt! Please welcome DOROTHY RITTBACKER!”

He awkwardly claps with the microphone in hand as the cheering continues as a fat older woman waddles herself onto the stage


The woman getting winded as she makes the short trek to Morbid, who is standing there with that fake smile, Morbid reaches out and places his hand on her back to show that this is a family friendly show, or was suppose to be a family friendly show.

Morbid Angel-“Welcome to the first “I BET YOU WOULD” SHOW!”

Morbid cheers a little getting the audience hyped again for the many kinds of action about to take place.

The mysterious perky voice begins to speak again.

“Dorothy Rittbacker is a 30 year English teacher from Dover Tennessee. Deep in the heart of the Bible belt. She believes that God is the all knowing and the final word to most every question. She has been happily married for 15 years with 5 children.”

Morbid walks her over to a platform designed for contestants to stand as they get their task.

Morbid Angel-“Are you excited to be on the show?”

Dorothy Rittbacker-“Oh, Yes! I am delighted to be here with y’all! I've never been to California before!”

Morbid Angel-“Well, I hope it is everything you dreamed of and more.”

He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a card and looks at it for a second before looking at Dorothy.

Morbid Angel-“OK, your challenge is an easy one. For $5000, would you allow us to remove a finger of your choice and be sedated the entire time. For $10,000, being no longer your choice and being the right thumb. And finally $15,000, removing the right thumb without sedation. Which do you choose?”

The crowd “OOH’s” as she contemplates the options which all lack the enticing aspect or anything. Dorothy no longer looked excited to be on the show. In her mind she was thinking that it would be like Fear Factor and she might have to eat a bull’s testicle or something in those lines. This is straight up bodily mutilation and is becoming less appealing the more she stands there. Morbid sees the look of fear on her face as he awaits her answer.

Dorothy Rittbacker-“I...I…”

Morbid interrupts her.

Morbid Angel-“I can see the look of discontent on your face, madam. Allow me to ease your mind with a little more prizes!”

Morbid Angel walks over to a nearby table that has 3 boxes.

Morbid Angel-“Underneath these boxes are additional prizes as well as some additives. These prizes are very expensive both physically and monetarily. All cash prizes are tax free to you so the prize is what I say it is, in your hand before you leave the stage. Are you ready to continue?”

Dorothy thinks to herself figuring what could it hurt hearing what else he has to offer?

Dorothy Ritbacker-“Let me hear what other prizes that is in store.”

She starts to rub her thumb as Morbid hovers his hand over the boxes.

Morbid Angel-“Which box do you choose? And remember, each box will cost you $10,000 off the prize. If you decide not to participate in the show you will be held liable for the monies owed from the boxes. These three boxes will total out to $30,000 if you look at them all. BUT! The lowest prize under the boxes is worth $100,000! The maximum could me upwards of 2 million! Are you ready?”

Dorothy nods and called out for the middle box!
Morbid quickly swats the box from the table and grabs a sheet of paper underneath.

Morbid Angel-“This prize is for $450,000!”

The crowd screams at the amount of money on the table.

Morbid Angel-“For $450,000, back to your choice of finger, BUT! It will be without any painkillers and it will be removed by a random homeless person who has no knowledge of human anatomy. The risk of infection is mild, the risk of death is unlikely but the risk for more damage is much higher!”

Dorothy yells for the other boxes to be looked at.
Morbid Angel knocks another box over and grabs the paper.

Morbid Angel-“This one is for $150,000! AND A EUROPEAN CRUISE FOR TWO! The package totals about $25,000. So were talking an easy $175,000 total. A little less than what we previously offered. Here are the stipulations. You will have a Homeless man, a drunk who is sober at the moment and has gone to medical school for two years before dropping out. Your risk of infection is lower, your risk of death is nonexistent and your risk of more damage is mild.”

Dorothy looks excited as Morbid grabs the last paper from the table and begins to read.

Morbid Angel-“The final offer is TTTHHHHEEEEEEE GRAND PRIZE! $ TWO MILLION DOLLARS!”

The crowd freaks out at Morbid raises his fists in the air riling them up!

Morbid Angel-“This one is the biggest and most intense prize for this challenge! For two million dollars, you will lose a thumb, it will be removed by a homeless person with Asperger’s syndrome who really has no grasp on the human body, who also uses inhalants such as paint and gasoline. Even more so hasn't showered in almost two years and a week prior to this show, we handed this man the equipment to perform the thumb removal, un-packaged and left him unsupervised for the duration of the two weeks. We have no clue on what he did with this equipment, they will remain unsterilized. In fact he will walk onto the stage with them in any way he sees fix to carry them, given the chances that he may have lost and or broken any of the tools, he is responsible for using the thumb in any given way he can.
There will be no pain killers, no sanitation, nothing to ease pain or provide comfort. Your only option to fight the infection before it goes throughout your blood stream is using natural sea salt by dumping it on the gaping wound. But that is entirely your choice.
Your chances of infection are very high, your chances of more damage are extremely high and your chances of death are high. For the ultimate prize this is the ultimate challenge.”

Morbid tosses the paper into the air and crosses his arms, smiling at Dorothy. The crowd is going crazy, crazy like Opera just gave them all a new car for free!
Morbid brings the microphone slowly to his face and begins to speak again.

Morbid Angel-“So, Dorothy! What is your final answer?”

Dorothy Ritbacker-“TWO MILLION DOLLARS!”

Morbid Angel-“You mean prize number 3?”

Dorothy Ritbacker-“YES!!!”


An evil look crawled across Morbid’s face. A look that can only be described as something so sinister that even Anton LeVay would find it beyond the realm of creepy.

Morbid Angel-“Excellent! Before we start, let it be knows that THIS!”

Two armed guards wheel out two million in cold, hard cash! The one hundred dollar bills so crisp and new stacked so neatly as if they were building a tower of greed!

Morbid Angel-“Is the prize you chose! Two million is a lot of money and most people have trouble spending that kind of money in their life time, let alone half a life time. Two million, tax free dollars for the cost of one pesky thumb!”

Dorothy started fanning herself with her hands at the sight of all that cash. Though she is a Christian, she was also driven by the human illness called GREED! Being that she was a contestant, they looked into her background because there is no sport in making a millionaire come on the show and offer him a million dollars. They would turn down what makes this show great! Dangling a life of complete happiness and total comfort for literally five minutes of crippling pain or serious degradation.

Morbid Angel-“Ladies and gentleman! Time to offer sweet Dorothy a prize for the payment we are about to receive!”

A chair is wheeled out onto the stage, not just any chair, a chair with multiple straps. One of the chair arms had been removed and was designed to strap the appendage of choice out to be worked on. It had a crude similarity to those found in an operating room. As an operating room is built more for practicality, this was built for showmanship!
Morbid looks at the camera and points as if talking to all the viewers at home.

Morbid Angel-“We’ll be right back after a couple words from our sponsors!”



“Is your period a painful time of the month full of cramps and bloating?” said a woman’s voice

A cartoon of a woman depressed sitting on a swing as everyone around her is having a good time, her stomach starts to appear bloated.

“Does your heavy flow catch you at the most awkward times, leaving you embarrassed in public?” said the voice.

The cartoon depressed and bloated woman’s crotch turns red and she tries to hide the huge red blot with her hands as she rushes behind some bushes to cover the crimson accident.

“Well not anymore! Not with the “Pussy patch” designed by Madison and Madison!”

A white pad flies down from the sky like the gods care about pussy blood.

“Unlike other pads this is the best of using a pad AND a tampon!”

The camera zooms to show a one and a half inch phallic shaped tampon sticking from the pad.

“With the Pussy Patches advanced technology leaving you the best of using both a pad and a tampon. The tampon released endorphin's into the blood soothing aches and bloating from god’s woman hating ways. The pad is guaranteed not to shift about by using a non adhesive stick to hold it in place”

The cartoon shows the cartoon woman inserting the Pussy Pad’s nub into her little cartoon vagina and emphasizing the stick to the cartoon groomed bush. Immediately the cartoon woman looks relieved and better.

“Pussy Patch! Because there is only one sure fire way to take care of your pussy!”


Morbid Angel is in his home in Morbidonia. He is seated in an antique black leather wing-back chair, posed reading his good book called “True Stories of the one and ONLY Morbidgod That are Really True!”
He was dressed well, as well as any man of his wealth and status. He looks up from the book with a sheepish grin.

Morbid Angel-“Hello, I am Kyril Krizchiv, better known to you all as Morbid Angel the lord and savior of the world.”

He puts the book down on the coffee table and readjusts in his seat and crosses his legs as any well mannered man would.

Morbid Angel-“As the Higher Power in the XWF, given that I am god and all, I am inclined to speak on behalf of all those poor souls that need saving. I am not like other gods, I will never forsake you, I will treat you as any good servant should be treated. Join me for Victory Forever 18! A new stable that will rip through the XWF like one of the three plagues of Egypt. I, Morbid Angel, God of all man, will pay each joining member of Victory Forever 18 a $1500(xbux) signing bonus and a personal guarantee that I will never forsake you.”

He reaches over onto the end table and grabs a bottle of Voss mineral water and takes a sip, gulping down the refreshing goodness of the seven dollar bottle of glorified tap water mixed with some carbonation.

Morbid Angel-“Further more, I’d like to add that I am offering that those who prove to advance throughout the betterment of Victory Forever 18 and in my name, will receive any title shot made available to myself or the team. With that in mind, there are more than a few titles that are just sitting there wanting to be taken by those worthy enough to just step up and grab the reward! I can take make you soar to new heights with my infinite wisdom and obvious omnipotent power!”

A phone number rolls across the screen for all those wanting to join Victory Forever 18. Morbid Angel stands up and fixes the collar of his shirt and flicks his hair back like an ugly Herbal Essence commercial.

Morbid Angel-“Peter Gilmour! You called me a coward and I took offence. You think that I am going to try and better a man who is a considered a slacker? I did nothing to you that you didn't already do to yourself. Think of yourself as a team player? I don’t think so, more like a guy who teams with superior people in hopes to be carried to the top! No friend of mine calls me a coward when I did my part, I did what any Morbidgod would do. I fought and I hurt some shit but at the end of the day you took the pin. Both times in fact, I never took the pin fall and yet I am the coward.”

The scene cuts to Peter being pinned during both Trio’s matches. The first one, while Peter was getting pinned, Morbid was eating popcorn and laughing. The second one while Peter was being pinned, Morbid Angel was in the background punching a woman in the breast screaming about a false prophet.
The scene cuts back to Morbid Angel who was outside his home shoveling his driveway from the snow that just fell. He stops and looks at the camera.

Morbid Angel-“Here’s what I can do for you. This “Evil as Fuck” match that I requested. My stipulation is simple. Extreme rules held in an abandoned mental hospital. The loser gets his peter cut off! That’s right! You lose and your dick gets cut off by the winner who takes it and sells it on XWFBay.com. all the proceeds from the bidding goes to the winner so I hope for your sake you have deep pockets. Deep enough to win your prick! Have no fear, Peter. I have a plan on how to preserve that cock of yours! I will fill it with formaldehyde so it will be nice and plumb, it will be the hardest it has ever been since you came out of your mothers vagina. Let that sink in for a little while!”

He shovels a few more scoops of snow as the camera pans out and slowly starts to fade. Morbid suddenly yells.

Morbid Angel-“OH YEAH! Don’t forget to watch my new show “I Bet you Would”. 8:00EST on the WB every Wednesday!”




“Welcome back to I BET YOU WOULD!”


Dorothy was strapped into the chair and Morbid was standing close by vigorously stroking his goatee as if trying to bring it to orgasm!
Dorothy was obviously shaken and nervous but every few seconds she looked at the large pile of money awaiting her not even 20 feet away. That money could buy her anything she wanted, could make everything right with her as well as increased her happiness tenfold.

Morbid Angel-“BRING IN THE HOMELESS!”

From the back a dirty man who looked about as intelligent as a small child scuffled onto the stage giving a confused wave to the audience. As he walked it was apparent that through the drug use he may have encountered a few accidents such as soiling himself. The large darkened stain on the back of his trousers signify more than one accident as if the smell wasn't a tell tale sign all by itself. The front of his pants were no better. The light colored jean material had a yellow hue from a serial pant pisser. Vomit hardened down the front of his shirt and hair matted into what appeared to be a sheet of nasty hair. Much like the Scottish back before they realized that being nasty makes you an animal. To this day most Scottish still are nasty and a modern holocaust is on the way, by the power of England!

His hands were filthy, finger nails caked with dirt and grime, assured some was fecal matter from the looks of things he was just an all around pig of a human being. He shuffles over by Morbid who takes a step back to avoid the full force of the smell.

Morbid Angel-“Sir, what is your name?”

Homeless-“Dominic…”

Morbid Angel-“Dominic Who?”

Dominic-“Dominic Johanson.”


The crowd remained silent with only a few mumbles and chatter passing between guests.


Morbid Angel-“Dominic Johanson! Do you still have those tools we gave you a few weeks back?”

Dominic scratched his head causing dirt, dandruff and bugs to fall off onto the floor. Morbid, being a hair man nearly panicked when he saw what was falling down and quickly gathered his long luscious locks and held then over his mouth and nose like that would protect it. Truth be told it was probably safer where Morbid could literally keep an eye on it. That and the smell of his hair treatment blocked most of the stench.

Dominic-“I almost lost them because my pockets have holes because I forgot I had stuff in them because I was outside and because these is my only pants so I kept them someplace where they wouldn’t get losted.”

Morbid Angel-“Show us where you kept the tools.”

Dominic unbuttoned his pants and lowered them revealing what was once white briefs now a dirty brown and covered with holes. He reaches into the back of his underwear and feels around. The tools were poking through the thin fabric and a bit of the scalpel was stabbing through the band. He pulls the tools out and tries to hand them to Morbid who backed away even more.

Morbid Angel-“Please place them on the table next to sweet Dorothy. Do you have the needle and thread to sew up the wound?”

Dominic thought for a moment and remembered where he had put it. He was using the string to tie around his cock while he was masturbating and forgot to untie it. He digs around the front of his crusty drawers and undoes the knot and pulls out the string then reaches into his sheet of hair and removes the needle, placing them next to the other tools or this horrific ordeal.

The scene fades to a blood red!