Well, looks like this is really going down. I thought surely there would be some other group of guys that would assemble who could give the Three Kings a run for their money. But the Three Kings are stuck with defending against The Asylum. How disappointing. I hope that next time, management can find more worthy opponents. Has The Asylum even participate in a Trio Match yet? How the fuck is beating Woe in a singles match supposed to prepare someone to face the Trio champions?

You see, the lack of preparation really shows in my opponents this week. Their promos are all over the place. Just look at some of the shit that they're saying.

I'll start by addressing Frodo. In fact, I'll be addressing only Frodo since I'm naming him the leader of his team whether he chooses to accept it or not. I just want to put out a snippet of what he had to say. Ladies and gentlemen, here's how NOT to cut a promo:

Quote:Don't get me wrong, Maddy,
you're not a horrible person,
I don't hate you, and all that shit;
but, you are a horrible person,
you're utterly uninteresting, and
you're seriously fucking useless around here.

Can anyone point out the glaring error in Frodo's final statement here? I'm just making sure because I know that after a while, the amount of idiotic statements tend to overwhelm the viewer to the point where they can't make out what Frodo did wrong.

Fuck it, I won't point out Frodo's extreme idiocy. Not today, I just can't.

Frodo, please tell me that you spoke those words as some weird joke.

For now, let's ignore the part that I added emphasis on in that replay. After all, Frodo's not the first person that we've seen botch a promo within a five second time frame.

You see, I want to focus on the more important parts of what Frodo had to say because I know Frodo's opinions are very similar to that of my critic's. Specifically, I shall focus on Frodo's last two bullet points about me. Don't worry, little guy. They didn't offend me, but I do feel the need to change your view of me. Because if I can do that, then maybe you won't be so bad off. Maybe if I can get you to realize the error in your ways, you can fix yourself and become a better in-ring competitor.

For starters, and for future reference, you might want to refrain from describing to people how interesting I am two minutes before you try to sum me up as being "uninteresting." Seriously, you spent way too much time promoting me just to end it with, "John Madison is uninteresting." You talked about how I fuck around with Peter and Lane- two of the biggest attention drawers in the federation. You brought up how I hired a Pest to harass people, namely Vinnie Lane. I don't see why you thought that was a big deal since I do that strictly for my own amusement. You brought up how I "fucked over" you and Scorpio and put the Tag Titles on Peter. How I wore Shane's face. You even asked if I killed Paul even though there isn't a trace of evidence that links me to that crime. And apparently you're still stressed about what gender I am.

And after bringing up all of those points about me, you end it with "Maddy is utterly uninteresting."

Well, Frodo, I might be uninteresting to you but you did a pitiful job at convincing me or anyone else that your opinions carried any weight. If anything, you put a spotlight on me and educated fans on why they should tune in to see John Madison.

John Madison- What will he have Pest do next time? Will he be a man or a woman? Will he put more gold on Peter Gilmour? Did he kill Paul?

I mean, even your friends brought up how interesting I am in their promos. Yeah, that's right. Look at what your pal Micky Manson had to say.

Quote:You are one seriously fucked up dude, nearly as much as me

You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell of shit and are mentally as well?

He doesn't exactly describe me as uninteresting. In fact, he even compares me to himself... in a bizarre way.

Yeah, so this guy starts off by saying that I'm "nearly as fucked up as him," and then five seconds later he's describing in what ways I'm almost as "fucked up" like him. So in other words, he's describing himself.

So, I am "vile," but not as much as Micky.

I am "worthless," but not as much as Micky.

I "smell like shit," but not as much as Micky.

I am "mentally ," but not as much as Micky.

Yeah, Frodo. Your friend just cut a promo against himself. What the fuck's his deal? Is he fucking ? Oh wait, according to his own statement; yes.

Now, I want to touch on something that Micky said in that first description that he used against me, which just so happens to resemble the last description that Frodo used.

"Useless..." and "Worthless."

I suppose that's the consensus around here is that, "John Madison is useless and worthless."

Oh Frodo.

Oh Micky.

How wrong the two of you are. So wrong.

I mean yeah, at first glance, John Madison does appear to be the most useless creature in the world. But if you took a little more time to study me, you'd see how useful I really am. And it's sad really because you guys could probably benefit from having John Madison in your corner.

NAZI, Luca, Duke, Azrael, Mystica, and Eli saw how useful I was. All of whom happen to be Superstar of the Month recipients. And they all became multiple time champions after receiving guidance from your's truly. Eli, Duke, and Azrael would not have ever been main eventers had it not been for me inspiring them. I pushed them, Frodo. I pushed them into becoming successful. In other words, I encouraged them to not be pieces of shit. These men probably would have ended up in the gutter with you, Frodo, if they didn't have John Madison coaching them.

Peter Gilmour would have never been able to even lift the Tag Title over his head if he didn't have John Madison in his corner coaching him. It's too bad he decided to throw it all away.

Theo and John Samuels saw my usefulness, and they made a smart decision by bringing me into the fold. They could have chosen anyone to fill that spot, but instead they chose a manager. Frodo, what does that say about you and the rest of these "athletes?"

Frodo, maybe if you would open your eyes and realize how useful John Madison really is, you could be successul for once. It worked for Peter, look at how well he did. It made his day when he won the Tag Titles from his two biggest bullies. I helped him accomplish what seemed to be the impossible. He'll never attain that level of happiness again. And now look at how dreadful he's doing without me in his corner to motivate him. I gave Peter all of the tools that he needed to be successful. He neglected to use them so he failed. He failed himself. Peter failed Peter and now he's fat again, and he's off ice fishing instead of competing for championships. Peter is a perfect example of what happens when you let down John Madison.

Just like how your team is going to let you down on Monday, Frodo.

All of this hype. All of these attacks will have been for nothing. You and fuck face start back at zero and I go back to fucking around, paying dumbasses like Pest to screw with Vinnie Lane and Peter Gilmour. Why? Because that's the only thing that's interesting about Monday Madness; watching John Madison fuck with dumbases through other dumbasses. What the fuck else am I gonna watch on that show?

Frodo Smackins
- vs -
Joey Hawkins & Ferrari Punk

Hahahaha! Nope, I'm gonna fast forward through that garbage and watch Pest cover himself in pig shit and hump Vinnie Lane because that is better than anything that Frodo does. That's another reason why I hire Pest, so that I can make up for the entertainment that you fail to provide me, Frodo.

Face it, you just suck, Frodo. You sit there and talk shit about how useless I am, yet you're the one who's allowing Theo Pryce to walk around with two championships like he's God's gift to wrestling.

So now who's the useless one? The semi-retired guy who's already accomplished everything he wanted but is still winning championships, or the guy who gets his ass kicked by Peter Gilmour and The Dimallisher?

What the fuck do I have to gain by capturing the top prize in our industry for a second time? I've already proven myself in the ring, now I just fuck with people for fun. Even your buddy Hysteria recognizes my talent in this area.

Quote:Brilliant! I love the way you fucked with his head like that! Absolutely phenomenal. I’m jealous! I wish I could’ve fucked with his brain the way you did. I think he’s still crying from it. You may be quite the mastermind

Wow, you guys really like to contradict this whole thing about me being "uninteresting." Anyway, look at Hysteria, Frodo. Doesn't he sound like a John Madison fan in that promo? He looks up to me. He wants to be like me.

I inspired Hysteria more than you ever could, Frodo.

That's how Hysteria won Prophetic Belt. He thought of John Madison and that thought alone pushed him beyond his limits and allowed him to conquer Guppy Parsh. Don't you see, Frodo? I am the higher power that these morons you surround yourself with are mumbling about. I'm the higher power who inspired Hysteria to do great things. They very well could be future Trio Champions but unfortunately, they have you dragging them down. Hysteria and Micky: Get rid of the dwarf and Ghost Tank (talk about useless) and maybe I can set you guys on the right track.