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Monolith · **11-10-2014, 04:26 PM**

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY RAPAPORT INDUSTRIES

Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. It is I, Daniel Rapaport, with another message of thanks and sincerity from all of us here at Rapaport Industries. You see, we've all been through a rocky patch lately. Things have looked pretty bleak. I mean, I almost had to give up my second limousine just to heat my luxury pool! But thanks to Monolith's comprehensive decimation of Mastermind on last week's edition of Warfare, things are finally looking up once again. And we couldn't have done it without the continued faith and support of our esteemed stakeholders; YOU, the XWF Universe! So, right now I want to make a pledge to you all. I promise... no, I GUARANTEE that the mighty Monolith will continue to pay dividends each and every week. You see, I'm committed to delivering the best possible results to all of our generous benefactors. And in the interest of giving the people what they want, I believe that my client has a few words he'd like to say...

You know, it seems that in recent weeks the XWF has become obsessed with reports and analysis. First we had the Pagoda Report. Then we had Oliver Cooper's Week In Review. And then we were subjected to the so-called Bitch Report by some anonymous talking sphincter. But whilst my fellow roster members might be pre-occupied with the thoughts and opinions of others, Monolith doesn't need the endorsement of some goddamn pencil pushers to tell him what he already knows. You see, it's an undisputed truth that I'm the best, biggest and baddest son of a bitch to ever set foot in an XWF ring!

But it wasn't always that way. There was a time when even a behemoth like me found himself smacking his head against a glass ceiling. You see, that was back when the XWF was dominated by legendary superstars; world renowned gladiators who left even the very best newcomers crumbling in their wake. And that's why I look at the state of the company today and all I can muster is a disappointed groan. Because even after the unrepentant beating I dished out to a seasoned pro like Mastermind last week, the very best that the current roster can offer me is some pathetic '80s throwback named Lucius Fyre...

Lucy, I bet you were pretty pleased when you heard that I accepted your open invitation to an X-Treme Rules match. I mean, if I was a bland, inexperienced charisma vacuum like you then I'd be pretty excited if a megastar like Monolith even acknowledged my pitiful existence! But Lucy, you'll soon learn to be careful what you wish for! I mean, do you honestly think that a puny pissant like you can overcome a leviathan like me, huh? I don't think so, Lucy. The XWF Universe doesn't think so either. And judging by your continued silence regarding our match it seems that even you've come to realise that you don't stand a chance. Now, I know that you have a reputation for pushing boundaries. I know that you have a fondness for carnage, weapons and bloodshed. But if you've done your homework then you'll know that this isn't my first time around the block, Lucy! You see, I'm a former X-Treme Champion; I was swinging chairs and breaking tables while you were still working out the most effective way to backcomb your goddamn mullet! So, this Wednesday night I want you to throw everything you've got at me. Ladders, barbed wire, thumb tacks; it doesn't matter. Because with every sickening thud of steel against flesh, with every splinter of wood, with every drop of blood spilt upon the canvas I only grow stronger and stronger. And when I'm done kicking your sorry ass right across the city of Liverpool you will rue the day that you crossed paths with the mighty Monolith!

Now, I'm not usually the kind of guy to offer advice or make deals. I usually leave all that negotiating crap to Mister Rapaport. But I'm willing to make you an offer, Lucy. I'm prepared to give you three choices. Number one; you show up to Warfare and I destroy you to the point where your bloodied, crumpled carcass has to be scraped off the mat with a snow shovel. Number two; you pay me all your X-Bux and I might, MIGHT just go easy on you. I mean, everybody deserves a fair chance, right?! And besides, I'm sure Mister Rapaport could invest the money wisely. Number three; you forfeit the match, admit that I'm the better man and walk away from Warfare with both your body and dignity still intact. I sincerely hope that you choose one of these last two, Lucy. Not for just for your sake, but for mine too; I mean, the last thing I need so soon after returning to the XWF is a goddamn homicide charge.

You see, I've watched you since you arrived in the XWF, Lucy. And I've noticed two distinguishing traits. One; you have a win / loss record that makes even the lowliest curtain jerker look like Hall of Fame material. And two; you're a pyromaniac. You know, I once knew a kid who liked to play with fire too. But he also liked to masturbate through a hole in his pocket, eat the contents of his nose and play with roadkill so you'll have to forgive me for not quaking in my boots. You see, I'm no stranger to fire. Do you see my face? Do you see the twisted scars and charred flesh concealed beneath my mask? I have literally walked through the flames of Hell to get to where I am, Lucy. I have looked the very Devil square in the eye and lived to tell the tale. It was a long road to recovery. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and months turned to years. It was a seemingly endless nightmare of toil and anguish but I survived and grew even more dominant as a result. Because there is no fire that burns hotter and brighter than the fire deep within my soul, Lucy. And this Wednesday you will be consumed and eviscerated by the flames like all those who came before you. But I don't want you worry; I saved the address of the clinic that made my protective mask. Trust me, Lucy; you're gonna need it when I'm through with you! Because I am Monolith... AND I WILL CRUSH. YOU. ALL!!!

THE PRECEDING ANNOUNCEMENT WAS PAID FOR BY RAPAPORT INDUSTRIES

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