As a kid one of Theo's fondest memories was going to the Circus. Not with his parents mind you. His father was too busy working and his mother too busy trying to find comfort at the bottom of a bottle. So instead Theo would opt for public transit. It was during those bus rides that reeked of death and decay that Theo vowed that as soon as he was old enough he would either buy a vehicle of his own or hire a driver. Public transit was for the bottom feeders of society and Theo was certainly not that.

But back to the Circus. Why the circus? What was it about the circus that made Theo so happy? Was it the animals? Or the acrobats? Or was it the clowns? No, definitely not the clowns. In fact Theo hated clowns. To this day just being near a clown causes Theo great anxiety.

That was until he joined the XWF and met clowns like Peter Gilmour, Morbid Angel and Vinnie Lane, better known by his stage name Pamela. Interesting tidbit, Theo has been calling Vinnie Lane, Pamela for going on two weeks now and not once, not one single time has Vinnie had the balls to call him on it. Who does that? Who allows someone to start calling them by a girls name and does nothing about it? Why Pamcakes Lane of course. Resident pussy. But that's neither here nor there because today is a very special day.

Today is the day that John Madison, Theo Pryce and John Samuels, better known as The Three Kings go to the circus. The Three RIngs circus to be exact. And why are our heroes taking time out of their busy schedules filled with booze, bitches and blow to go to a circus? Well apparently The Three Kings opponents for next week are the opening act.

Cruising down the highway going approximately 3hunna kph in a cherry red Saleen S7 Twin-Turbo that Theo borrowed from some broad he slammed the night before is the aforementioned Three Kings. Why are they going so fast is anyones guess but they are. 3 hunna kph is hella fast. For the metrically challenged 3 hunna kph is approximately 186 miles per hour.


"Why the fuck are we going to a circus Theo?"

"I told you already John, your bff Peter and the rest of Team Special Olympics are the opening act."

"What the hell are they doing performing at a circus?"

"I have no idea but you've seen them try and wrestle before, performing at a circus can't be that different can it?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Almost Samuels."

"Are we there yet?"

"Yes we are."

"Really? Just like that?"

"Yeah we are going 186 miles per hour, you can cover a lot of ground going that fast."


The three men climb out of the vehicle, Samuels who had been sitting in the middle position looks a little worse for wear, though it could also be his ever increasing age.


"Where is Peter?"

"I don't know John let's go look."


The three men traverse the circus for a few minutes before them come across a giant poster advertising the circus's opening act which includes full sized images of each of the three famed XWF wrestlers with their names listed underneath.

Peter Gilmour

"Damn Theo, why didn't you tell me that one of our opponents was a chick?"

"I tried John, you wouldn't listen."

"Well I'm listening now."

"John one of our opponents is a chick."

"I can see that. But are you sure? Christ, look at it. It could be a he."

"I suppose anything is possible John but I'm pretty sure that Pamela Lane is a she. Her name is Pam, doesn't get any more girlish than that."

"Alright let's go inside and get this shit show over with."

"Why are you in such a rush Samuels?"

"There are a hundred things I would rather be doing right now than here at a circus so let's get this shit outta the way."

"You'll get no argument from me."

"Hey Theo did you see all those promos our opponents did earlier?"

"Of course I did John. I especially loved Morbid's promo where he spent 10 minutes on the couch with a box of tissues crying about how he can't win anymore and how he's questioning his chosen profession. Clearly he's spent too much time around Pamela. I also enjoyed when he talked to me about how pedantic I am and that I treat his promos as if they are written and not spoken while in the very same breath he says vs. when I can only assume he meant versus. See what that dumb bitch fails to realize is that he just has this odd way of pronouncing words and it's because of that issue that he probably should have taken care of with some elementary school speech therapy that I can call him on his shit so easily. Of course he likes to build straw man arguments and talk about roleplaying games and shit like Dungeons and Dragons."

"He talked about Dungeons and Dragons?"

"Not exactly but he hinted at it pretty strongly. And then if that dumpster fire of a promo wasn't enough he did another one. Still trying to get the world to believe that I took part in some Shove It where I swapped bodies with people. Even going so far as to doctor the tapes to add subtitles and putting names in parenthesis that weren't there originally. This guy is trying so hard to drive a point home that just can not be taken seriously that he's ruining any chance he has at trying to make up some ground on me. Body swaps. Seriously guys. Body swaps. What the fuck is that about?"

"Then that fucking tried to tell me that we took our name The Three Kings from the bible. Despite not one of us ever saying thats what we did. In fact, he actually responded to some things in a promo I did earlier in the week and yet either glossed over or forgot where I said:

Quote:You talked about the moniker The Three Kings and it's biblical connections, or at least, what you perceive to be but the truth is the name is simply that, a name. It references the fact that me and my two partners are the only three true Kings of the XWF. No frankincense and myrrh required. Having said that we will be glad to unleash on you a beating of biblical proportions and unfortunately for you Noah and his ark won't be showing up to save you.

"This fucking guy actually wasted time playing Sunday School Teacher for no reason at all. Then Morbid did exactly what I was waiting for him to do. Yes I brought up him losing to The Phantom Stranger a few times and there was a specific reason for it. Because after the bitch fit he threw post match I knew that mentioning him would hit a nerve and it did as evidence by him making this statement."

Quote:Yes, the Phantom Stranger. I didn’t really lose. If you watch the match you will notice that I was never pinned. SO, now that we have that taken care of and this is only the 17th time you brought that up we can throw it away.

"Thank you Morbid, thank you so much for that. Now if you could, since I know you will be watching this promo, please apply that same logic to War Games where you didn't pin me because I wasn't there. Take that win off your record and just throw it away like you want The Phantom Stranger to throw away his win over you. Hell you can do the same thing with that ridiculous body swap Shove It that you won't let go since you clearly didn't pin me there either. In fact, tell your partner Pam that she can throw away her supposed win over me at Relentless since she pinned Sebastian Duke and not me. Once again, thanks for playing right into my hand."

"Morbid then asked me if I've earned a goddamn thing in the XWF. Well earlier in the week he talked about how hard it was for me to beat him...

Quote:Yes you defeated me as Enigma, it wasn’t easy for you to win,

"See he said it right there. So did I not earn my win against him? And if I didn't is that because he considers himself to be a joke? Because those are his only two options here. Either I earned my victory against him or he sucks and thus my victory was nothing more than me beating a shitty wrestler."

"Oh but Morbid wasn't done there. He had more to say. First of all, Shades didn't up and quit the federation, he was let go on account of Shades not actually being Shades but an impostor. That's why his cash in on Eli was taken out of the record books and why Eli's reign as Champion lasted far longer than anyone elses. All Morbid needs to do is watch the clip again it's all right there.

"And then his response to his botched sports analogy was to try and cover it up with hypotheticals rather than providing any factual data. Typical Morbid. It truly is wonderful how predictable he is."

"Forget Morbid Angel, what about Vinnie's promo? I fell asleep halfway through it. Right after the narrator had a seizure and talked about Vinnie..."

"Pamela."

"Right, right after he talked about Pamela exploding in an expulsion of spittle and blood."

"John that was at most 10 seconds into his promo when that happened."

"It was?"

"Yeah it was."

"Oh well then shit. I didn't see any of his promo then. What did he have to say?"

"Nothing special. Mostly that she's all disappointed in me, like she was my fucking mother or something. Apparently she gets all butthurt because I like to beat people with minor details. Well yeah, I do. If details didn't matter than Pamcakes wouldn't have an issue with me calling her a whining woman who is on the rag 24-7. Wait, shit, bad example, that one's actually true. But you get the point. Obviously details matter. If I wanted to listen to someone lie throughout their entire promo I'd just watch a Morbid Angel promo on loop.But what is even better about that is that even after I corrected her ignorance of the minor details she still managed to botch things up like the surgeon botched up her obvious attempted sex change operation."

"But obviously there is no point in me even talking about the match at Relentless anymore, clearly Pam is incapable of coming to grips with what actually happened and not what she thinks happened."

"What else did he say?"

"She."

"Right, what else did she say?"

"She tried to make a thing of me not trying to get a match with Evertrust after becoming the number 1 contender for the X-treme tile. Well yeah obviously I didn't try and get a match right away. Why would I? Would purpose would that serve? I get a match with Evertrust. Beat him. Claim the X-treme title only to have to drop it a few weeks later when I won the Universal Title? I'm not Eli James, I don't just drop titles for shits and giggles. My number one contender spot isn't going anywhere. I'll go and get the X-treme title if and when I feel like it but for now I'm a bit preoccupied with the title on my waist and the trios."

"She was right about one thing though, if Morbid Angel had still held the Universal Title I wouldn't have wasted a cash in on him. Why the fuck would I when I could just challenge him and bitch slap him around the ring like I did when I challenged and beat him for the X-treme title. I did what I did to who I did because there is a history there. Pamela wouldn't understand that because the only history she has is with the clothes hanger that her mom tried to jam up her fuck hole to prevent that should have been an aborted fetus from ever being born. But just like Pam she too is a failure."

"She also had some not so nice things to say about you John."

"She did? Why me? I haven't said a word about her. What did she say?"

"She called you my bitch. Asked how many shares of my company I gave you in exchange for your being one of my partners."

"Doesn't she know that you don't own Pryce Industries anymore and that even when you did it was a privately owned company with no shares to give out?"

"Obviously not. It's funny actually, on one hand she clearly watches my promos because she responds to the things I say in them yet she couldn't be bothered to notice minor details like me not being the CEO of Pryce Industries anymore. Damn those minor details. Always coming back to bite her in the ass. She's also pretty upset about my current reign as Universal Champ. Apparently I'm not a legit champ because I have money and can do what I want . I'm sure Pam wouldn't be making these claims if I had just granted her wish and given her a title shot like she asked but you know Pam. Step 1 ask for something. Step 2, cry non stop when she doesn't get her way. Step 3, repeat step 2."

"Did Pam say anything about me?"

"Yeah but I have to be honest, I stopped paying attention at that point."

"Thanks for nothing."

"You're welcome."

"What about Peter? What did Peter say?"

"A lot. Peter always has to say a lot. Most of which doesn't make any sense but by God that doesn't stop the big fat from trying."

"Don't keep me waiting Theo. What did he say?"

"Well first he tried to compare me to Ozymandias. You know, like how he used to call Paul Heyman, Duke. He still seems to think that everyone is the same here in the XWF. Maybe he needs glasses. I don't know but if I were Peter I'd tread lightly. That Ozymandias guy seems to be the most visible GM of Warfare. I'd hate for Peter to lose his title shot at me because he was bad mouthing GM's. Even if Ozymandias is the nicest of the GM's I could see him sending Peter a message."

"What else did he say?"

"He talked about how I said that I was the first King of the XWF. Which isn't true. I said that I was one of the three Kings of the XWF. But it's Peter afterall, I wouldn't expect him to get numbers right. Example, every time Peter talks about his 8 inch cock when we all know it's more like 4. At least that's what Frodo says. You know that guy creeped a peek. Then he said what I can only classify as one of the worst few sentences in the history of spoken language. Peter actually said, and I quote:

Quote:Theo, did you not forget that I still have a Uni Title shot? Or did you forget that? I know you didn't because that's how much of a man you are.

"What does that even mean?"

"I have no fucking clue, I really don't. Obviously I didn't forget about Peter's title shot as evidence by the fact that I talked about it just yesterday in one of my promos. Not to mention I have no idea if he even wants the title on the line to begin with. First he wants it on the line, then he doesn't. First I'm a pussy but not really because he doesn't want his partners to pin me. He actually said that he agreed with me not putting the title on the line because he knew his partners would try and screw him over. Then in the next sentence he said that his partners would never dare do such a thing. I don't know, his promo honestly made me think that I was for a second but then I had a drink and all was right with the world again."

"Actually I take that back. There was actually another ridiculous instance of verbal diarrhea when he said:"

Quote:You tell more lies than a guy who hasn't cheated on his woman with the entire town.

"I'm guessing he meant to say that I tell more lies than a guy who has cheated on his woman with the entire town but with Peter you can never be too sure. I mean why would a guy who doesn't cheat on his woman need to lie? Fuck it, what am I even saying? What makes in his head seldom does for anyone unfortunate enough to have to listen to him."

"Then he tried to justify his title reigns. He talked about his famed X-treme title reign, you know the one that necessitated the creation of the Peter Gilmour rule which actually forces an X-treme champ to defend their title before they can get a briefcase. The whole rule was put into place because after winning the title Gilmour then opted out of shows for weeks on end. And when he was finally forced, forced by management to defend his title he got the best possible match he could, a 3 on 1 match where he had 2 partners. And he still lost. Then he talked about how he defended the trios titles with honor except then in the very same sentence he said that he didn't. Typical Peter. King of the Contradiction."

"Did he make any promises?"

"You know he did."

"Did he promise to bury you?"

"Sadly he did not. I'm sure that will come later in the week though so all is not lost. He did tell us though that his team is united and that my attempts at trying to get them to fight each other won't work. Even though he flat out admitted that he knew his teammates would screw him. I guess his definition of united is different than the one everyone else uses."

"But what about me Theo? What did he have to say about me?"

"And me."

"I skimmed over most of it but he did call you an asshole Madison and you Samuels, well, lets just say have gave you plenty to work with though I doubt he would notice even if he went back and tried to doctor the tapes."

"Alright you know what, I'm bored with this, where are these three assholes anyway?"



Almost as if on que a voice comes out over a loudspeaker directing all patrons to head towards the main viewing area for the opening act of the Three Ring Circus which of course having no other clue as to where to go our heroes do as they are told and head towards the main viewing area and it is there that they see Team Special Olympics.

TBC?