From the mouth of John Madison

This is John Madison speaking, and I'm on my way to the airport where I'll board a plane heading to Los Angeles, California. I'd rather be anywhere but LA right now, but Peter insists that this is the only way for me to get my League of Legends account back, and that shit means everything to me. I look down at the text message that the account thief sent to me. It puts a snarl on my face and all I can think about is how I'm going to kick this guy's ass.

I don't know why this had to happen now. I've got more important referee duties to perform. I'm trying to take back my spot as a GM so I can make this place fun again! Nobody likes the current state of the XWF.

The current state of XWF. The best way to describe it: It's tiresome, it's repetitive, it's uninspiring, it's forced. There's no competitive edge or excitement... It's just... it's Frodo. Yeah, that's probably the best way to describe this new era or generation that we're in: Frodo.

It's week after week of the same, petty bullshit.

Some guy gets brought into the federation with the sole purpose of irritating Peter Gilmour.

People call out Peter Gilmour and big surprise-- he avoids the challenge. Funny thing about that is, he gets away with it because no one around here has any backbone. No one can control Peter; they actually had to ASK Peter what date he wanted to defend his championships. Are you kidding me? Who's running this place?

This Frodo disease seems to have affected everyone.

GMs are lazy, they might as well be using a dartboard to book their shows.

Is anybody trying?

Did Morbid Angel really win the World Championship? What?! Hello, is anyone there?

Fucking hell, the more I think about it, the more sick I get to my stomach.

John begins to laugh uncontrollably as he crosses over into his next point.

And how long has it been since "my clients" defended their Tag Team Titles?

A month ago? Hold on...

John pulls out an invisible notepad and flips through the pages until he finds the exact date.

No way... Leap of Faith? That was OVER a month ago! Hah! Wow... Who's running this place again? Has Peter Gilmour, who CLEARLY doesn't deserve the titles in the first place, taken control of the tag division?

The popular story going around is that Peter Gilmour ducks every challenge that's hurled at him, but as we progress into this Gilmour reign-- or better yet-- Gilmour "Reign of Terror," it's become more clear that it's YOU-- the federation-- who are ducking the Hollywood Bad Boy.

You people are seriously going to let a guy like Peter Gilmour dictate when and where he defends his championships? Have you guys forgotten that I practically handed those to him? It was funny to watch too. I got a kick out of watching Peter and dumbass defeat a former World Champion and his stooge. But seeing Peter rule the federation with an iron fist after the fact; now that's hilarious. Way to go, Peter.

And now I'm back for one night only to help Peter and Dimallisher make their first title defense ever.

Wait, who am I kidding? Did I say I would "help" Peter and Dimallisher defend them? Scratch that, I will be defending the tag titles.

I mean, we might as well cut to the chase, because it looks like I'll be in their corner yet again. And from that corner, I am able to master manipulate the game board to my liking. I move pieces around freely, and I even introduce pieces that don't belong there. Pieces that alter the game, completely.

Just ask Frodo how he feels about that nasty loss.

Frodo, was it fair how Peter Gilmour won the match?

Did Peter have the help of The Black Circle on that night?

Was The Black Circle the only reason Peter won?

Frodo will tell you. He'll spend an hour telling you how unfair he was treated that night. How John Madison and his group shouldn't have been allowed to flip the game board on him like that.

And now, today, we look at the game board.


And very little has changed.

All the pieces are there that were in the previous Gilmallisher match. The Black Circle, Gilmour, and the tag titles.

It's not about The Dimallisher. You could throw anybody in there as Peter's partner and it will be the same result. The Dimallisher might not even be alive today, I might just march Peter in there and have him defend those straps on his own. Because that's all that matters in this game.

Peter gets to the end.

Peter stands tall.

John Madison rubs it in your face.

Think of me as a predator that has a habit of playing with his food.

Sure, I could easily lace up my boots, tell Luca to follow me to the ring, and win the belts as a cohesive tag team. That would be the easy, unsatisfying way for John Madison to eat. I'm kind of a jokester, I need to have fun with my food. I need to play and torture defenseless little creatures like Frodo Smackins, Scorpio, Mr. WGWF and Mark Flynn.

And in doing that, I'm able to add fuel to the fire. More hatred directed towards Peter. More of those scathing comments directed at him by the "competition" in this federation. More funny characters like Mr. WGCENSOREDF who will pop their heads in just to poke the bear.

Ah, poking the bear. That's always fun, isn't it? Especially when it's Peter.

Want to piss off Peter?

Give yourself a name that he'll hate and do a promo against him! It's easy and isn't anything new or refreshing. We've seen it with Head of Gilmours Mother, Gilmour Classic, and Fatback.

Now it's Mr. WGCENSOREDF who of course is going to challenge Peter to something that he won't accept.

Guys, you could literally put makeup on a giant turd, have it challenge Peter Gilmour, and Peter will duck the challenge. It's that simple.

Under normal circumstances, I would stick up for my client if someone was bullying him. But with Peter, I just let it happen. Fuck it, we all know he's gutless. I might as well dig around until I find some flaw of his that I can mold into form.

That's why every time The Dimallisher pokes his ugly head into one of Peter's arguments and tells them to "leave Peter alone," I just wanna shove a sock in the man's mouth. No, Dimallisher, YOU leave Peter alone before you fuck everything up. It might be a good thing that you got abducted.

See, when Mr. WGCENSOREDF showed up, I wasn't annoyed like Dimallisher and Peter were. No, in fact I was overjoyed when I saw yet another troll being spawned in the federation. Honestly, I was hoping for Mr. XWF or Gilmour Classic, but this might be better.

Mr. WGCENSOREDF showing up just might be what saved me and Peter, because honestly, I don't know how I would have brought out the bull in Peter if it had been John Black instead. My God, it's like I was given a lifeline here. As long as Peter believes that this guy is someone from Mr. WGCENSOREDF, then I can make this work. The only thing that would be better is if the dildo mask somehow came off and revealed Randall Cross or Frodo Smackins. If I can get hold of that mask and remove it, I might just be able to unlock ULTRA, X-TREME SUPER-FUCKING CLASSIC Gilly.

You see, there are different phases of Gilmour that get triggered based on his mood. It might be difficult for some of you to notice (because they're so similar), but a Gilly expert has no problem identifying these different stages. And as a Gilly expert, I've created a device that will allow me to easily measure the amount of GILLY RAGE ™ that Gilmour has pumping through his veins.

I call this tool, The Peter Meter.

Let's take a look at The Peter Meter.

Hold on, let me calibrate it first. I need to hook it up to a Gilmour promo so give me a minute. I want to make sure I get accurate results.

John makes some adjustments to the Peter Meter, and then hooks it up to one of the promos that Peter cut on Mr. WGCENSOREDF. After a few minutes, he gets his reading and shows it to the camera.


count: 10
Kill count: 4
Smiles wickedly? Check
Winks sadistically? Check

Wow, I didn't expect a reading THAT high. As you can see, we're beyond just idiotic Gilmour, and treading into classic Gilmour territory. I wouldn't be shocked if he says fifteen more times this week.

Here's how it works. The more attention Peter gets, and the more back and forth banter; the better. Every time that Mark Flynn, Mr. WGCENSOREDF or Frodo Smackins calls out Peter, knowing what his response will be, I get so excited knowing that The Peter Meter is going up. Seeing the meter reach those levels gives me a big hard on because it means a bigger payoff.

Mark Flynn's challenge got ducked and postponed two weeks-- Peter Meter, and my cock, went up.

And after all of this is said and done, and Dimallisher and Gilmour are standing tall as the Tag Team Champions?

Repeat. Peter and I will just piss off more people and create a longer line of challengers.

It's such an easy thing to do nowadays with us being in the "Frodo Era."

I'll make it so Peter and Dimallisher beat another tag team that's better than them at Relentless, and then take another 45 day break while Peter goes around being Peter. Ducking challenges, saying idiotic things, acting gay, etc.

45 days though, that seems way too short. I think next time around I'll try to get it doubled to 90. Let's face it, you people don't deserve a shot at the Hollywood Bad Boy!

The cab comes to an abrupt stop, causing John to almost spill his coffee!

Damn driver! I'm glad I'm glad I don't have to deal with this guy anymore. I've got a flight to catch.

I hate people who look different

and if u dont like it then u can leave