Have you ever taken a good long look at yourself and thought... damn, I'm fucked up? You ever wonder what exactly it was that was wrong with you? What possessed you? What lead you to the very spot you were in and what drove you to continue onward? Have you ever been curious about the things that brought you to where you were and how you allowed yourself to do those things? You ever look at yourself and just ask why?

If you answered no to all of those questions, you're either a saint or living your life in denial. Everybody has doubts, questions and regrets. Those things are a part of human nature. Even if you don't want to accept it, they exist in all of us. Some more than others but nevertheless they're there. Unless you're a sociopath. They've got a funny way of making their presence known too. Sometimes they'll sneak up on you and seep into your thoughts at the most random and unexpected time.

Like when your paying for gas, a 3 Musketeers bar and a bottle of Gatorade Frost that you took down halfway on your journey to the register cause you're just that damn thirsty... especially after enduring the sweltering, over 90 degree weather that you walked through briefly in order to enter said gas station. Okay... maybe that's a little specific but that's because that's the exact scenario that happened to me several seconds ago. And we're talking on a level that's way beyond self examining oneself and reevaluating one's choices in life. This wasn't a cold hard look in the mirror followed by a... what the fuck was I thinking?!?! Nope. This was me turning around and bumping right smack dab into my damn self waiting in line behind me. An act that was soon followed by curiosity, judgment and regret. Deep... deep regret.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing and how I let myself exist in such state was really unbelievable. But there I was... plain as day and I couldn't deny it. I was fucked up. Though bumping into myself in order to have that realization wasn't exactly a tiptoe down a tulip lined path of sanity either. How many people can say they literally walked into themselves and saw they were a fuckin' mess? A statement like that'll get ya locked up in the nut house for sure. But I swear that's what happened. I guess to really understand what's going on here... ya gotta know what happened before this little gas station incident occurred. And we'll get to that in a second. I promise. But first... I think I oughta introduce myself.

My name is Jeff Hardy and I'm a professional wrestler.

Oh you knew that already, 'eh? That info ain't news to you? Well did you also know that I'm not the Jeff Hardy y'all knew over the years. That the rainbow haired warrior that you either grew to love or hate isn't the same man you see before you now. I mean... I am. Sorta. But at the same time... I'm not. Talk about a whole giant heap of confusion. And yeah... I know what you're thinking. Hardy's higher than a kite... again. But I swear to you it's the god's honest truth. I'm not the Jeff Hardy folks came to know. I'm not even from this time. I'm from ten years prior and I gotta tell you where I come from shit's a whole lot different than it is now. Shiiiiiit! Talk about night and day difference! Where I come from the entire world is in complete chaos! Society as y'all know and understand it doesn't exist. There's no social code and there isn't a classification of privileged or poor. The economic infrastructure has been completely wiped out and destroyed and people's main concern isn't about money or power. It's about staying alive.

I beat you're wondering what plummeted everything into such a state of disaster. Either that or you're sure I'm outta my head. And you're probably right in thinking that cause going through what I've lived through and done would make most crazy. Still lets focus on the reason the world crumbled. Humor the lunatic a little while and let me share this story. Fuck. I remember it all like it was yesterday too.

See I was doing good for myself before shit hit the fan. The year was 2003, I was wrestling back in the WWE and I thought I could do anything. No risk was too great, no stunt was too crazy and I felt... invincible. I was a wingless bird and no one could shoot me down. I was fierce, fearless and unstoppable. Then the explosion happened and everything turned to shit. An explosion that happened in a tiny weapons factory somewhere near Texas. No one out rightly knew what caused that explosion either and there were a lot of speculations and guesses afterwards. A lot of hate, finger pointing and blame. But nothing solid or concrete enough... evidence wise... to prosecute. No. The only real truth was that in a matter of minutes that weapons factory went up in flames. Then shortly after that the smoke and fumes from that fire drifted up into the atmosphere and that's when the rains came. Rain that burned like acid when it hit ya and seeped into the ground... bringing the dead to life.

That's right... we had a real life zombie outbreak like in the movies and just like the movies... the epidemic spread like wildfire. It was an incurable disease and all it took was one bite to infect you. In the matter of a few months this sickness reached global proportions and by August 2004... the number of the living was greatly outnumbered by the total of the walking dead. Animated corpses with the want and desire for one thing and one thing only... to feast on the living. It was a horror movie come to life and it was what I grew accustomed to. It was my everyday existence and I was certain it would stay that way until the day I died.

A fate that almost came a couple days ago. Or 3,648 days ago... if you wanna get linear about it. One thing's for sure... either way you look at it I was convinced my end was only a mere matter of minutes away. I was outnumbered, outta ammo and backed into a corner. With death closing in on me... literally. I didn't even have enough ammo to kill myself before I was overtaken and eaten alive. I knew what was coming too and had felt it almost consume me once before. Several months back one of them living corpses took a bite outta my left calf and if I hadn't been lucky enough to have someone there to sever that part of my leg off? I would have turned right then and there. Then I would've been a zombie closing in on some other helpless fuck instead of being the one they were moving in on.

Thanks to the advance movement in science among the survivors. A techno boost that happened shortly after the outbreak. I got fitted with a cybernetic replacement leg. Fused to the nerve endings in my leg it responded to my brain's commands just like the real thing would. The only difference was that it was made out of metal. A huge change to get used to but way less of a struggle than just not having that part of my leg. Unfortunately on this night that I was backed up against the wall and surrounded by zombies with no ammo... I was alone and so there wouldn't be any saving for me. I was minutes away from being a meal and there was nothing I could do except, accept my fate. Or so I thought.

Right before I was zombie chow there was a rumble. I thought it was just a storm brewing but it was so much more. Lightening crackled and flashed across the sky as the rain started pouring down in buckets and then... right as the zombies were close enough to drip their oozy remnants on me.

I was struck by lightening.

I felt the electricity surge through me and I smelt my skin burn. Smelled my own flesh char as I saw my life flash before my eyes. Then I passed out only to wake up in a hospital. Imagine that! A hospital! Sure I had been inside a lab when I had my leg fixed up and I spent time in hospitals before the outbreak. But being inside a real working hospital now? That was pretty damn amazing. I mean those were more than scarce... they were non-existent. At least where I came from. Yet there I was... inside a hospital and to top things off... they tell me it's 2014. Talk about a what the fuck moment! Clearly. I had died and passed on to heaven... or hell. Since it was me... probably hell. Or at least that's what I believed. Just picture yourself in that very same scenario and try to imagine what you'd do or think. There's nothing that could prepare you for that. Even if I just came from a zombie ridden apocalypse it was beyond strange.

And it was on course to get even stranger.

TBC...