---

Paul Heyman is backstage. He paces outside of the medical facility. Nervously awaiting word on the condition of his client, Steve Davids. Vickie strolls up with two cups of Starbucks.



Here ya go baby. A venti Cafe Mocha.

My client is in there fighting for his life! You think I want a coffee?

It has whipped cream.

Whipped cream?



Vickie nods with a smile. Paul smiles back, then takes the Starbucks cup.



I love whipped cream.

And if you're good, there's more whipped cream back at the hotel.

Mmmmm. Daddy like Mommy's whipped cream.



The two lock up in a raunchy, disgusting kiss as the scene fades back to ringside. Starbucks spills everywhere.

---

JOEY STYLES: “Well... Davids really isn't fighting for his life. He only hurt his knee. But while Paul and Vickie are continuing to get closer, we're going back to the ring!”

"Los Angeles is Burning" by Bad Religion plays.

JOEY STYLES: “Arryn Connolly! The very first invitation recipient has taken the XWF by storm!”

"Turn The Page" by Metallica plays.

JOEY STYLES: “Barney Green! At one time exiled and ostracized by the XWF, now given a grand opportunity here!”

"The Heinrich Maneuver" by Interpol plays.

JOEY STYLES: “Kendall Sawyer! The crown jewel of the Heyman Alliance, undoubtedly, Heyman wants her going to victory tonight!”

Eli James custom theme plays.

JOEY STYLES: “Eli James IV! He found himself in hot water with XWF management recently, but looks to redeem his stellar career tonight!”

"God Gives Head in Heaven" by Aeon plays.

JOEY STYLES: “Morbid Angel! One of my personal favorites! Regardless of wheter he hates Jews or not!”

No Music plays.

JOEY STYLES: “Frost! Bitten!”

Leap of Faith Match Arryn Connolly - vs - Kendall Sawyer - vs - Frost - vs - Eli James IV - vs - Morbid Angel - vs - Barney Green -24/7 Briefcase-

The bell rings and the match starts off as we'd expect it to: all out chaos! We can't even tell who's hitting who, it's just a big blur of flying punches in the center of the ring as all six competitors attack each other. Morbid Angel runs across the ring and blasts Frost in the groin with a dropkick! Morbid takes frost by the throat and gives him a choke slam. He then delivers...



JOEY STYLES: “SATAN'S FALL!”



(tombstone off the top rope) to Frost! Holy shit, Morbid just destroyed Frost and we haven't even hit the 5 minute mark. Morbid throws Frost out of the ring, surely that will sideline Frost for a good portion of the match.


Eli and Barney Green are going at it near the ladder that leads to the top of the scaffold. Morbid Angel gets in between them to break up that fight. He takes both men by their necks and bashes their heads into each other! Morbid then Barney and throws him face-first into the ladder.


Morbid gets blindsided by Kendall who executes a side kick to the face. Kendall climbs up the ladder of the scaffolding, hops off of it, and attacks Barney, giving him a huricanrana. Kendall and Morbid go back and forth by the ladder as we switch over to Arryn and Eli. Arryn punches Eli into the ground and gives him a DDT. Arryn then tackles Kendall to the ground and engages her with a...



JOEY STYLES: “CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT!”



Morbid gets in the between the two ladies who are rolling around on the ground! Literally, Morbid is wedging his body in between the two women as they smack each other and roll around! It's a cat fight sandwich!


While that shits going down, Barney is chasing Eli James IV to the top of the scaffold. There's probably still tension between these two seeing as how Eli manipulated Peter into decapitating Barney not too long ago. Eli is already crossing the scaffold as Barney climbs to the base. Eli tries to judge the distance from the edge of the scaffold to the hanging briefcase. He's gonna need a running start for this. He goes back to do that and finds Barney on the scaffold with him. They trade punches. Eli tries to scoop up Barney for a slam, but he's not strong enough! Barney ends up falling on top of Eli, squashing him.



JOEY STYLES: “DING! Pancakes are ready!”



Coming up the ladder and onto the scaffold to join Barney and Eli is Frost now. Frost and Barney lock up. They push on each other until they're both near the edge of the scaffold. Eli James recovers, he runs, and TACKLES BOTH Barney and Frost OFF THE SCAFFOLD! Barney and Frost go flying off the ladder with Barney landing on top of Frost and creating a Barney-size hole in the ring mat! Frost has to be dead after having Barney fall on top of him like that.


Arynn, Morbid, and Kendall look down at the big ass hole in shock.



JOEY STYLES: “OH MY GOD! What gigantic chasm left by Barney Green! It's like the Great Divide!”



Eli James dives off the scaffold, reaches for the briefcase, but misses it! Morbid manages to dive out of the way but Kendall shoves Arynn into harm's way, and she gets toppled on by Eli.


Kendall kicks Eli in his head a couple of times, and then throws him out of the ring.


Morbid is climbing up the scaffold now. Kendall sees this and follows him up to the top. Morbid turns around and tries to knock Kendall off the ladder with boot to the face. He throws another kick, but Kendall catches his ankle and pushes him back. Kendall is now on the scaffold with Morbid. Kendall walks up to Morbid, kicks him in the stomach, and gives him a DDT onto the scaffold. Arryn is making her way to the top of the scaffold now, but Kendall goes over and blocks her from reaching the top. Kendall delivers one final swing that sends Arryn flying off the ladder and through a table at ringside!


Morbid has recovered by now. He runs for the ledge. Kendall sees him out of the corner of her eye and runs as well! Both contestants run and LEAP through the air for the briefcase... and they BOTH grab onto it! But the briefcase is still hanging as both contestants swing from the wire that's holding it. Morbid is trying to bump Kendall off with his chest. Kendall retaliates with a headbutt to his nose. MORBID BEGINS TO BITE KENDALL'S FACE! And Kendall loses her grip and falls-- but she grabs a hold of Morbid's cut off shorts at the last minute! Morbid wiggles around, and his shorts and underwear COME OFF!


Kendall falls 30 feet to the mat with her hands full of Morbid Angel's shorts and briefs.


Morbid Angel is now swinging from the briefcase with his cock and balls showing! Morbid Angel begins to bicycle kick his legs as he spots Eli James running towards him from the scaffold. Eli leaps off the ledge towards the briefcase, but he comes up short, and has to GRAB MORBID ANGEL BY HIS EXPOSED COCK! My God, Eli James is hanging 30 feet in the air by Morbid's penis.



JOEY STYLES: “OH MY... DONG!”



Morbid is screaming in pain as he holds 260 pounds on his dong.


But wait! Arryn is next to take the big leap! She also comes up short and ends up grabbing a hold of Eli James in mid air. Are you kidding me? Morbid now has two superstars hanging off his cock from 30 feet in the air as he holds onto that briefcase for dear life. That has to be close to four hundred pounds now.


Oh shit... BARNEY GREEN. He's back from the crater that was left in the ring and he's standing on top of the scaffold looking over at the development over on the wire with Morbid's cock. He's got a sick smile on his face...



JOEY STYLES: “Don't do it, Barney! You'll rip that thing clean off if you do.”



Barney takes the leap, not even trying to go for the briefcase, and wraps his arms around Eli who's still hanging from Morbid's dick with one hand and has Arryn holding him by the waist. There is now close to 900 pounds hanging from Morbid's exposed penis!



JOEY STYLES: “They might stretch that thing until it hits the ring.”



Kendall decides she's seen enough of what's going in front of her. She leaps off the scaffold and drop kicks the outstretched shaft of Morbid's penis, causing everyone to fall onto the mat. Morbid holds his dick in pain. We don't know where his shorts went, he'll have to wrestle the rest of the match with his hairy ass and balls showing.



JOEY STYLES: “You have to admire the strength of that man's dick though.”



Kendall is the first to recover from the fall. She climbs up to the top of the scaffold with Eli James following close behind. Morbid Angel is trying to get up, but I'm not sure if the man can even walk after what he just endured. He might need an extra minute.



JOEY STYLES: “Paul Heyman has decided to join us here to watch the action. He anxiously waits to see if his client, Kendall Sawyer, can pull it off here!”



Kendall leaps off the scaffold and grabs a hold of the briefcase. She's just gotta unfasten the clip that's holding it in place now. She's having trouble with it, it's not the easiest thing to do while hanging from the briefcase. Eli James is up at the top though. He runs across the scaffold, leaps, and... Kendall gets her knees up and Eli smacks into them head-first! Of course he falls to the mat. Kendall goes back to working on that clip. She's trying to maneuver the handle of the briefcase so that it unhooks...


MORBID ANGEL! He climbed fast up the ladder, and he leaps at Kendall and takes her down from the wire with a spear! Morbid jumps up to his feet right after that and swings his dick around while pumping his fist. He goes up to the scaffold. Arryn is right behind him. They exchange punches. Arryn delivers a spinning heel kick that knocks Morbid down. She attempts a vertical suplex on Morbid but he reverses it into a brain buster.


Morbid spots Kendall and Eli both climb up opposite ends of the scaffold from the ladders. He pulls Kendall up to the scaffold and drops her with a choke slam. Eli comes up behind Morbid and locks in a sleeper hold. Morbid elbows Eli in the gut and gives him a side slam. Morbid is fucking these people up. Arryn gets up and charges after Morbid but he catches her and gives her a fall away slam off the scaffold. Arryn goes flying 30 feet and crashes through a table at ringside!


It's down to Eli, Kendall, and Morbid. Morbid goes for a running leg drop on Kendall but she rolls out of the way. Kendall then tries to push Morbid off of the scaffold, but Morbid pushes back in order to keep himself on the platform. Morbid delivers a kick to the temple of Kendall that causes her to take a couple of steps back. Morbid runs after Kendall, but Kendall ducks; and Morbid runs right into Eli James who throws him off the scaffold with an overhead belly to belly suplex! Morbid goes crashing into the final set of tables at ringside.


It's down to Kendall and Eli now, but wait-- Barney Green is starting to climb up the ladder. Oh shit-- Barney tries to skip a rung on the ladder but ends up SLIPPING! Barney falls from 3 feet and somehow shatters his ankle!



JOEY STYLES: “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! Barney might have ended his career there!”



Kendall looks down at Barney and shrugs; fuck it. Kendall turns around and Eli's there to deliver a massive right hand to her jaw, almost knocking her off the edge. Eli puts Kendall in a headlock and begins to sing Amazing Grace, but Kendall reverses it into a back suplex. Kendall tries to kick Eli off of the scaffold, but Eli grabs a hold of her leg and pushes her down. Eli and Kendall run into each other, and Eli overpowers her with a forearm to the face. Eli puts Kendall in a headlock, sings Amazing Grace, but Kendall punches him in the balls mid way through the song. Kendall follows up with a roundhouse, and then a running knee to Eli's chest. Kendall then gives Eli James the Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness (killswitch).


Kendall takes the leap of faith, and she grabs the briefcase that's hanging in the air.


Right when Kendall is able to unhook the briefcase, Eli James comes running after her and leaps. However, she swings the briefcase like a tennis racket, smashing it into Eli's face as he goes flying through the air! Kendall then releases herself, and bashes Arryn Connely over the head with the briefcase on the way down to the ring.

WINNER: Kendall Sawyer – 24/7 Briefcase Holder

JOEY STYLES: “Paul Heyman celebrates with his client! Kendall Sawyer takes the victory and walks out with a 24/7 briefcase!”

---

The XWF Tag Team Championship is Coming Up NEXT!

Haha, ha, ha ha; shit. How the fuck are you gonna tell me some dumb bimbo won this briefcase? Jesus Christ!

Hey, stupid cunt! Wanna make that briefcase mean something? If so, give it here and in exchange I'll give ya the right to make me a fuckin' sandwich.

Adorable. How could I ever resist your charm? I really ought to just hand it over right...

No.

I'm not Eli James, Sid. Get your handouts from him, if he ever holds onto something worth giving away again, that is.

Ya know somethin'? Yer actually kinda perty when ya talk dumb. Come here n' gimme a kiss.