"His body won't hold injury. I did my best but he just kept coming, like a big, emotionless, German tank. I knew at the end of the match that I was lucky to escape with my life."-Echos

Testimonials are one thing. But seeing proof is another. The announcers have deemed fit to call me the Master of Pain and it is most definitely a true statement. I sit in my study, looking over my XWF Contract. I laugh, because one line stands out. Miako sips her rum and coke, looking at me and arching a brow.

"What's so funny, Beast?"

""Xtreme Wrestling Federation is not responsible for any injury sustained by "the talent". By signing this form, you agree to leave everything you have in the ring and sometimes more." Hahahahaha ha...ha..oh my beelzabub!"

My Asian "trophy wife" smirks.

"They obviously don't know who they are dealing with, My Lord."

I grab a letter opener and hold it out to her, placing my free hand palm down on the desk.

"Hold on, hold on...here, let's give an example. You take this letter opener and stab it right through my hand!"

"But..."

"...do that shit! Come on!"

"OKAY!"

The eighteen year old school girl bounded over, taking the letter opener. She rears back with an insane giggle and jabs it right into the back of the center of my hand. The pain burns! It travels up my arm as I just grin and bare it, elongated canines gleaming in the candlelight. When she pulls it out...

"Ahhhh..."

"..oh em gee. I never get tired of seeing that."

I bleed for a split second as she pulls tge letter opener out, my blood a bit darker than a normal human's. But what's more is, the wound instantly heals and closes as my adrenaline quickly pumps throughout my Beast-like form. Good as...

"Good as new, ja?"

She grins.

"Hai. And sexy as hell."

"You see...thanks, by the way. You see, what these mortals of XWF are not clued into is the fact that I am not exactly your average "creature". I am not human, haven't been for thousands of years. Killing my brother? That gave me a gift. The "Mark of Cain" keeps any man from doing harm to me. And like McDonalds, I am loving it."

"Oh! I want a happy meal!"

"You can suck my German dick!"

"Do I get a treat?!"

She exclaims excitedly.

"Oh, you'll get a suprise. Except your suprise won't by a My Little Pony..."

"Awww, but I want a Rainbow Da-"

"FAUCK RAINBOW DASH!"

Before anyone flies off the handle, let me explain somwthing about my dear Miako. Miako Temura-Winters was born to a family of wealthy Japanese entrepeneurs, and thus, is spoiled. However, like me, she is insane. She once cut the ear off of the pool boy for listening in on us having phone sex when I was off in Mexico beating up worthless luchadores. She frowns and comes over, sitting on my lap, her skirt riding up...way up.

"But...but...I want a toy."

Big anime puppy dog eyes.

"Oh, I got your toy..."

"Oh goody, where is it?!"

I slide my hand under her, making sure to cop a feel of her lady parts. She could hear my pants unzipping...until...

"It's not unusual to be loved by anyoneeeeeee..."

My phone went off with Swagmire's theme music. I growled and uttered the words...

"What the fuck does this nigga want?!"

The awesome banner was brought to you by Morbid Fuckin Angel.

"Romulus, beast of Berlin, Demolisher of Dusseldorf, Killer of kaiserslautern, master of pain, I think we need to talk. I'm sending some information over to you, and I'd appreciate it if you'll keep it quiet for a bit. I'm not a fan of exposing things too soon. And no, this isn't because we're friends. You're just an unstoppable force."

Swagmire disconnects before sending an email over to Romulus with the details of his proposal.