Continued from:

Quote:

Quote:For a moment, Griffin just stares down at Duke laying at the bottom of the hole and then he begins to fill it in. An act that is accomplished within minutes as an eerie hush falls over the audience. MacAlister, stabbing the shovel into the top of dirt once the task is complete.

With the King Of Darkness buried....we see MacAlister stand; wounded, beaten down and utterly dismantled, from the chaos he's endured tonight....but still victorious.

Winner: Griffin MacAlister


Post-match:

Suddenly a backhoe driven by none other than everyone's favorite Nazi...N.A.Z.I bursts onto the scene. Nearly running over Frodo before coming to a stop and tearing into the dirt. In a matter of seconds the backhoe made short work of the dirt filling the hole. Nathaniel then jumps down into the hole, hoists Duke onto his shoulder....cause y'know he's got that Nazi super strength going on and climbs out of the grave. Once out of the grave Nathaniel tosses Duke down...but there's a problem. Duke's unconscious and he isn't breathing. Fuck. Nathaniel tries kicking Duke in the chest a couple times but that doesn't work. Yep and he's a med school graduate too. Go figure on that fucking logic. Anyways Nathaniel's in a rel pickle here cause he wants to save Duke's life but he also doesn't want to do mouth to mouth resuscitation on him. Luckily a random female XWF staff member is walking by just then. So Nathaniel grabs her by the throat and forces her to revive his Black Circle cohort. An endeavor that proves to be successful.

"Sieg Heil!"

NAZI and Duke finish up their little teenager drama moment when a loud ass car approaches. It's a red, Ford Mustang, and it's swerving all over the place while Anal Cunt blasts through the sound system. The car comes to a stop but not before smacking Sebastian Duke in his rear end and knocking him back down. NAZI gasps as he watches Duke eat shit. At that moment, "I Lit Your Baby On Fire" is squelched as John Madison kicks his door open and stumbles out of the car.

John Madison: "Oh shit, did I just hit a fucking tortoise or something?"

John drops his bottle of whiskey as he walks around the front end of the car to assess the damage.

John Madison: "Jesus, why is Duke passed out on the ground? Hey Duke! Wake up! You're not buried alive anymore, dip shit!"

NAZI: "John, you just hit Duke with your car after I had that woman over there resuscitate him. What the fuck?"

Madison: "What the fuck are you talking about? I just got here! I was just chilling, listening to some Anal Cunt; I pull up and this big asshole is just laying on the ground. Is he drunk? Fucking Duke, doesn't know how to drink responsibly. Still has those personal demons of his."

NAZI: "No-- like I said-- you hit him with your car!"

Madison: "Hold up now, you're way out of line, Adolf. You know how serious I am when it comes to operating a vehicle. Properly handling a motor vehicle is as important to me as gun safety."

Suddenly, John whips out his 9 millimeter Beretta like he's in the wild west and begins firing away past NAZI and towards that woman who NAZI had go to work on Duke earlier. Pow, pow, pow! Four more shots and the slide retracts, signifying an empty clip.

NAZI: "John! Why?! You literally just stood there and talked about how important gun safety is and then fired seven rounds at me for no reason!"

Madison: "I saw a threat, Adolf, so I engaged."

NAZI: "I'm a threat to you?"

Madison: "No, that woman behind you was."

NAZI looks behind him, unaware that the woman was even there still. Sure enough, she's laid out on the ground wearing bullet holes.

NAZI: "How? That's the same woman who saved Duke right before you ran over him with your car!"

Madison: "I saw her reach into her pocket for a weapon. I had to use deadly force, Nathaniel. Trust me, I've taken classes on this kind of stuff, cops do it all the time. Are you saying that you're against the justice system? Hmm, I wonder-- how would Hitler have dealt with people like you?"

NAZI walks over to the corpse of the woman and picks out the black object in question. It's a chocolate candy bar.

NAZI: "How exactly could she kill me with a candy bar, John?"

Madison: "I don't know, man. You've gone so soft over the years, anything is possible these days. Fuck it, just be glad that John Madison has your back. Come on, help me pick this piece of shit up."

NAZI assists John in lifting "the piece of shit," Sebastian Duke. NAZI follows John's and throws Duke on top of the hood. John then steps back and begins taking pictures of Duke laying on top of the Mustang.

Madison: "Duke'll love this..."

After taking a few shots with his phone, Madison drags Duke off the hood and throws him into the driver's seat. John then places Duke's hands on the wheel as if to show Duke driving the Ford. John steps back and takes more pictures.

NAZI: "Is this necessary, John? Stop doing this, now."

Madison: "Fine, just take one more picture of me and Duke; and we'll leave."

John hands NAZI the phone for the final snapshot. John then stands with his crotch pointed at Sebastian Duke who's still unconscious in the driver's seat of the Ford Mustang. John unzips his own pants, pulls out his penis, and attempts to slap Duke in the face with it until--

NAZI: "John, cut that shit out!"

NAZI puts Madison in a headlock and throws him to the ground.

NAZI: "Fuck, man, are we seriously back to this bullshit?"

Madison: "Oh come on, Adolf! You know that it's always been Duke's dream to get dick smacked in the driver's seat of a Ford Mustang."

NAZI: "Whatever, just help me get Duke in the backseat."

Madison: "Wow, here I was trying to put him in the front seat and you just want to throw him in the trunk. Fuck you, do it yourself!"

NAZI goes to work on putting Duke in the backseat as John turns on Anal Cunt to full volume.

NAZI: I said the backseat.

John just grins as he begins to sing along with the music. Pulling his 9mm out and slapping a fresh clip in so he can fire his gun to the beat of the music.

NAZI: How did this become my life?

Nathaniel tosses Duke into the backseat and slams the car door.

Madison: Is Duke in the trunk yet?

NAZI: You can see I put him in the backse...

Just when we thought that the music couldn't get any louder, John cranks up the volume even more, drowning NAZI's voice.

Madison: What?!?!

NAZI: You can see I....

And louder...

Madison: WHAT?????

NAZI: I hate you.

Madison: God damn Adolf, I can't fucking hear you over Anal Cunt!!

Nathaniel walks around and hops into the passenger seat, firing up a cigarette before he shuts off the radio.

Madison: Oh holy shit! Did you just do what I think you did? Tell me you didn't just do what I thought you did! Tell me Adolf! Fucking tell me you didn't just do that!

NAZI: What? I had to turn off the music so you could hear me. I said I put Duke in the backseat. Not the trunk. Look. He's behind you in the backseat.

Madison: Are you smoking in my car? Adolf this is a pristine piece of machinery. You dare defile it with your cigarette? What-- is my car a fucking ashtray now? What's next, are you gonna burn people alive in here?

Nathaniel looks around the car, at the mess of BK wrappers, empty liquor bottles and various other items of garbage and takes a drag from his cigarette.

NAZI: Are you fucking serious?

Nathaniel, with his sharp eye, picks up a cigarette butt off the floorboard. He holds it up for John to see, pinching it between his fingers. John snatches the cigarette butt out of NAZI's hand and throws it in Duke's mouth.

Madison: Yes, I'm serious! This car is my temple. I can't have your filthy smoke sullying it up. It's like you're shitting on sacred holy ground! You might as well be raping jesus! Is that what being a pure, white man is about? Raping jesus and shitting on sanctified property?

Nathaniel raises an eyebrow as a half eaten, moldy cheeseburger laying on the floor of the car in between Madison and Nathaniel gets taken away by a rat.

NAZI: You have rats living in your car.

Madison: So? What's your point? I can't have a fucking rat in my car now? Oh let me guess, because they remind you of Jews, right? Quit trying to take away my freedom and my rats, Nathaniel!!!

Nathaniel sighs and tosses his cigarette out the window.

Madison: Wow. So you fold just like that? I tell you you can't smoke in the car and you comply? Look at the inside of this thing....it's a shit hole. A literal shit hole. There's an actual hole in the backseat and I've shit in it. My shit is currently occupying a hole in the backseat. And yet you put out your cigarette cause I tell you to. You're going soft Nazi? How the fuck are you going to rule the fourth reich if you give up that easy?

NAZI: You shit in a hole in your backseat?

Madison: I covered it with a napkin! Damn! I'm not a slob Adolf! In any case you're straying from the point. I asked how you were going to rule when you've turned into such a push over?? The answer is you can't. You can't be Fuhrer and be a pussy Adolf...that shit won't work.

NAZI: Just drive the car John.

A groggy groan emits from the backseat.

Duke: What smells like shit?

With a smirk Madison starts up his car and immediately backs out of there at 70 miles per hours. Just pushing his foot down on that gas pedal as hard as he can before he spins the wheel and takes off.

Duke: Oh my fucking god! Is this shit?!?!

John Madison: "You better not fuck up my shit hole, Duke!"

Duke: As if this day couldn't get any worse! First, I get buried alive... AGAIN! I lose my tag team titles... Then I got hit by a car... Now, I'm literally sitting in your shit! Oh and to make things worse, I'm cramped inside a fucking Ford!

John Madison: "You got hit by a car?"

Duke: Yeah, it was the weirdest thing. When did you get here, anyway?

John Madison: "Uhhhhhh."

Duke: Well, at least this time when I got buried you didn't hit me in the head with a shovel.

John Madison: "Oh yeah. About that. Sorry I'm late."


Duke begins looking around the interior of the car.


Duke: Where's my briefcase?

John Madison: "Uhhh. Ummm."

NAZI: "It's in the trunk. John made sure of it..."

Duke: Thanks John.

Madison leans into Nazi and whisper.

John Madison: "I was going to keep it for myself. You know, take back my crown and shit."

SMACK!

John Madison: "Ow! What the hell was that for?"

Duke: I heard that!

NAZI: Alright, we need to focus here. Last time we went after these titles, it didn't go so well.

Duke: Hey, you got any Johnny Cash? Or Waylon Jennings?

John Madison: "What the fuck, Duke? Are you sixty?"

Duke: Don't judge me, Maddy!

Nazi just shakes his head and leans against the side of the car as Madison floors it. 80..... 90.... rap rap rap rap.

John Madison: "What the hell is that noise?"

Duke: It's your Ford. Laughing at you.

Duke starts to laugh.

John Madison: "What the hell are you laughing for?"

Duke: This is me. Laughing at you.

NAZI: "CHRIST! Can you two get along just long enough to win these damn titles?"

Madisons Ford continues to rap. It begins to slow and lurch before finally coming to a dead stop in the middle of a dark, desolate highway. John tries to crank the engine, but it doesn't budge. Just an audible click coming from the starter.

Duke: "That's not going to work."

John Madison: "Of course it will."

Duke: "No, it won't. Your engine just seized."

John Madison: "Seized what?"

NAZI: "He means your engine just took a shit."

John Madison: "God damn it. Thanks a lot, Duke. The car was running just fine until we started lugging around your fat ass. Well, I think it's time for the two of you to get out and push! You better have some gloves with you, I don't want your grubby paws touching the Mustang."