I wander hopelessly through the stormy wood where I abandoned Ammon's body. Why did I know that this would have an extreme domino effect on my not so distant future? I'm not sure if that was just instinct or whether it was simply obvious. What I did know was that there was only 48 hours until I had to step in the ring with one of the most twisted men to ever compete in the Xtreme Wrestling Federation.



People keep asking me in the street and around the training room...

They ask me that question that I relentlessly ask myself...

Why would you face John Austin in a hardcore match? Why would you challenge a man like that to a match that he loves?

I know Austin thrives in these kind of matches? A victory against a man in what is basically his home is a much larger victory than that against a man fighting out of his comfort zone. I like to tell myself that I have nothing to prove yet deep within that's just what I want other people to believe. I want them to believe that I don't care what they think but the truth is that my vanity always meant that that was all I cared about. I wish I didn't care that everyone thinks I belong in prison. I wish I didn't care that people still believe that I am a monster... I did though. In my heart I know I am a just man who was merely bewildered by all of his morals and all of his promises...

What is the point in keeping a promise if you are left isolated in this world though?

Austin lacks the care, the vanity, or the correct attitude to care about wins and losses any more and that is why he shall inevitably fail. Well that's all he has done in 2014 isn't it? He just loves finishing in second, and not even in the good way. His proudest moments are losses to men like Steve Davids... where the fuck is he now? I don't even know the guy. The man wins a brief case and then vanishes into the abyss. Seems like he doesn't think he's got much chance of cashing in that case successfully to me...

Austin tormented and defeated Matt Lennox for weeks? Congratulations. Now he's dead? Oh and I suppose he would like to claim that he is the reason for that as well? Even his victories are false...

I strolled out of the wood, with the torturous memory of Ammon's face covered in a blood placed in the back of my head. When I got into the car, it was just like before, for quite a while I wasn't even sure where I was heading, I just knew that I had to get out of there... and fast...

How strange it is, that the one thing I promised myself I would never become was now the epitome of me. I despised everything about my former partner now, how he murdered a man who had done so little, and then I went back on that word and did just that? What sort of man does that make me? Am I actually worse than him? I mean, Ammon was supposedly there to help me. Of course he hadn't actually helped at all. He just forced me into a state of paranoia. Every night I checked the doors and windows were locked three or four times.

I seem to be forever filled with regret though and there seems to be nothing that I can do to change the monster that I have become. I pray every day to the god that made me damned but then every day seems to be worse than the last. Perhaps I was better off staring at the same four walls in that cell every day. I mean at least in there I wasn't dangerous. That prison turned me into the monster that I am now though, and people think that I WANT to be like this... NO. I want to be the glorious just man that I once was. Where was he? Where is he? Dead.

I would like to pretend that I have become a better man but that's not true. I may be stronger, but I'm not better. Then, what strength is shown when shooting a man in the skull and murdering him? None. Now look at me, I'm just driving and driving and driving, whilst the rain is pouring and pouring and pouring. There must be an easy way out of all of this chaos. There's always an easy way out but I do not intend on bowing out of this world for a long time. You see, I need to avenge myself by achieving the ultimate glory in the ultimate wrestling company. That is the only way to make up for everything that I have been through, easier said than done though, of course. I just want John Austin to be prepared because my fury has only just begun... One man has been killed yes, and no more shall die at my hands just yet but he will be so close to death and he will be in so much pain that he will be BEGGING for me to put an end to his fucked up life.

Also, why the fuck is John Austin shagging Christine Nash? I mean, she's had more cocks than she's had matches but she's at least vaguely attractive in a certain light where as John's repulsiveness cannot be saved by the world's finest lighting or any make up artist on the planet. That doesn't matter though, what matters is that I am better at fighting than he is...

It's time for a new chapter in the book of Ambrose Helios.