Tri Bute
Post-Future; Pre-Future
A Documentary Series

“J.I.Z.Z.?”

Tri Bute is a king in the distant future, a future specimen, and one third of the XWF Trio Tag champions. In this series we will be following his everyday life. What can we learn from a man of the future? That’s exactly what we will find out here.

“What is justice?”

“Justice, well, that’s when you don’t rape anybody.”

“Isn’t that integrity?”

“Hold on,” Tri Bute flicked his papers, “You’re right, future sorry.”

Tri Bute cleared his future throat; “Justice is like all about being a righteous defender of anything and keeping a garden while you do it.”

“What is integrity?”

“Integrity is when you don’t give in to primal instincts and respect everyone’s rights. While practicing integrity you don’t rape anybody and you love children platonically.”

“What is zankustility?”

“That’s the incapability of doing wrong. When you’re in the midst of zankustility you never miss a light switch, the toilet, or the future bus. Zankustility also causes an increased love for one’s surroundings, nature, trees, etc.”

“What is Zeusrion?”

“That’s the great creator.”

“And?”

“He made stuff?”

“What is jizz?”

“That’s cum, ejaculate, seminal fluid, whatever you want to call it. It comes from a man’s penis in the throes of sexual ecstasy.”

“Sorry, I mean J.I.Z.Z.; what is J.I.Z.Z.?”

“It’s the perfect combination of all of those ideas, besides cum. In the future it’s commonplace all over Future Earth. It’s absolutely perfect. No flaws whatsoever.”

“Is that so?”

“It’s not just so; it’s soon.”

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know, I figured you'd cut away there or someth-,"

--

Tri Bute, the future man behind the wrestler

-

“So you write an online biography?”

“I do, I’m an artist.”

“Is that so? You also fight people, is this true?”

“Yes, professionally.”

“Is the future pen mightier than the future sword?”

“A future pen in my future hands is twenty future swords. A future sword in my future hands is two thousand future swords.”

“So the future sword is mightier?”

“There are more variables than that. There is no way to properly gauge the mightiness.”

“That’s the point of the question. There isn’t a wrong answer.”

“Future oh.”

--

Tri Bute, in the real world

-

“Walk us through a day in the life of ‘The Future Warrior’.”

“I eat food. I sleep. I write the future comics. Sometimes I wrestle a match. Sometimes I just watch one.”

--

Tri Bute, continues to be extremely vague and inexplicably awful at interviews

-

“Do you have anything to add to that?”

“Not really.”

Tri Bute finds himself in a coughing fit.

--

“J.I.Z.Z.” Tri Bute is one of the holders of the XWF Trio Tag championship. That’s all I really got out of this.

---

Dear Readers,

I just got out of one of the most thrilling experiences of my lifetime. Wow! Make sure you all tune into that documentary series I am in. It’s truly without a doubt completely worth your time. I promise a genuinely life-changing experience. It completely makes up for the lack of a future comic this week; that’s for sure.

Check out Post-Future; Pre-Future,
“The 8000 Time SSAW King of The Universe Warrior Grandslam Mega Murder Mother Flippin’ Champion”
“One Third of the XWF Trio Tag Champions”
Tri Bute
“The Future Warrior”


(OOC: If you get anything out of this RP it should be the video at the beginning. It's superb.)

"Pink is my signature color!" - Elle Woods