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Dr. Zero · (12-12-2013)

“You speak English?” Dr. Zero asked the voice that shared his dark cave-prison deep in the heart of the lush planet, Malkroa.

“Of course I do. I imagine that ain’t quite all we got in common either. What’s your name, sprite?”

“I am Dr. Zero. Might I be so bold as to ask yours?”

“I figure you might,” the voice said without answering because clearly he’s a smartass.

“What is your name?” Dr. Zero patiently requests more clearly.

“Oh! You want my name? Heh…Name’s Gen. Gungho. Pleasure to meet your acquaintance.”

“I’m not certain the situation is a pleasure.”

“Oh, you tellin’ me you don’t wanna’ be forced into a gladiator tournament?”

“I don’t understand. I was under the impression that the Malkroans were a generally peaceful species.”

“Well, they don’t exactly see bird-headed freaks like you and me as bein’ nothin’ but monsters.”

This man had a bird-based head too? What exactly was going on?

“Oh, guess I shoulda’ mentioned that. I caught a glimpse of ya’ getting’ tossed in here. I figure since we both speak the same language and got our own little bird head here, we probably gotta’ lot in common. I’d say there’s a hefty chance we’re here for the same thing, too.”

The gem of Malkroa. Dr. Zero stayed silent.

“If I was a bettin’ man, I’d be bettin’ you flew some little spacecraft out here for the gem of Malkroa. I get that right?”

“Where are you from?”

“Well, son…That’s a bit of a convoluted story. I don’t mind tellin’ it, though, and looks like we’re gonna’ be here a while as is. I ‘spect we come from different realities, you and me. Hell, I gotta’ big feelin’ we’re just mirror images of each other. What coulda’ beens and what have you. That’ll help us get through a lotta’ this quicker. You really a demon, ain’t you?”

“…Yes.”

“Right, right…And then you met this nervous wreck of a kid who’s possessed by some dumbass?”

Dr. Zero was starting to think he was going to have to kill Gen. Gungho. This was starting to feel like Dr. Hero all over again. He answered him, “Yes.”

“Right. So then other stuff started threatenin’ him but you saw some usefulness to him, so before he could go and get himself killed, you took control and started tryin’ to save him?”

Well, that was close. Dr. Zero was saving Stevie Tyler from The Order of the Owl but it wasn’t out of some altruistic motive. Dr. Zero was using what he saw as the soon-to-be catalyst of the end of the world as his key to controlling it. Dr. Zero would use Stevie Tyler to refashion the world, the galaxy, Heaven, and Hell as he saw fit.

“Yes,” he lied.

“Right. So, what do you know about that little gem they got stored in this place?”

Dr. Zero perked up. The gem was here? Had he really gotten that lucky?

“I’m sorry. A gem?” Dr. Zero…Drotte the Liar…refused to let Gen. Gungho know he knew. It was obvious that they were after the same thing, which meant that one of them would have to die.

“Yeah. Things apparently got some sort of power where it can open up gateways to other galaxies and whatnot. My people’s dyin’ and we’re runnin’ out of resources quick. Once they heard of that thing, they decided to send me to look for it. I suppose they think they can just walk in and out of other realities and take what resources they need. Whole thing makes me a little nervous, if I’m tellin’ you truth. Thing’s supposed to carry a curse for anybody that ain’t a Malkroan that touches it. Guess you gotta’ do what’s best for your people, huh?”

Gen. Gungho’s selflessness was sickening.

“So if you didn’t come for the gem, why did you come all the way to Malkroa? Sure ain’t the down-home BBQ they got here, I’m sure.”

“To be completely honest, I simply came here to research them. I am a doctor of sociology, you see,” Dr. Zero lied. “The trouble your world is going through sounds absolutely horrid. I insist that you allow me to aid you in saving them. Surely between the two of us, we could break out of this place and find the gem that you speak of. Is your ship still functional? If not, I would be quite willing to allow you to use my own.” Damn, he’s good.

“You, sir, are a saint. Thankfully, my ship’s in perfect working order. Ran into a little turbulence on the way in, but I got her down safe.

If beaks could smirk.

The two slept through the night, and on the next morning, a group of Malkroans approached their cell. They led them through several passageways in the mountainous cave, until eventually they saw sunlight. For the first time, Dr. Zero noticed Gen. Gungho’s appearance. He was shirtless and chiseled with green fatigues. He had several tattoos all over his body. All generic, meaningless tribal nonsense. He had the head of a cockatiel. Dr. Zero had expected something more threatening.

Spears poked their backs as the Malkroans marched them outside to a large stadium where they began to hear a crowd. A large event was taking place. This must be the gladiator matches.

An announcement was made to the crowd as they walked in and everyone booed. A few Malkroans in the arena handed them both a medium-sized, chipped sword. As the crowd jeered, a regal-looking Malkroan stood up and held out a hand. The crowd quieted as he spoke in his language. Gen. Gungho looked at him and his eyes narrowed.

“That’s it,” he said.

Dr. Zero looked at the Malkroan. He was wearing a long, flowing, jeweled robe, a large, golden necklace, and a crown. In the center of the crown was a twinkling gem that was changing colors as he spoke from green to red. It was the gem of Malkroa.

The obvious leader’s voice was getting louder and louder and then it stopped abruptly. The crowd roared and a large wooden door was lifted up. Three large, four-legged beasts stepped out, slobbering through their razor sharp, jutting teeth.

“Don’t worry, Doc…I can handle this,” Gen. Gungho said as he marched toward the monsters.

If beaks could smirk.

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