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~~Juan Madison~~ · (09-06-2013)

Juan Madison:
"I am Juan Madison, king of the luchadors and master of the arm drag. This week I enter the Night of Sacrifice tournament to prove this to be a fact! But first, I have a couple of things I must get off of my chest.

People have been coming up to me and asking, "hey Juan what's with the cape, esse?" They even tug on it and laugh which results in me hitting them with an arm drag onto the pavement, carpet, or various other surfaces depending on where this altercation is taking place. There is a reason why I wear my cape when I'm out there in the ring. The cape allows me to float through the air more effectively than I would without it. This is how I am able to glide so fluidly through the air when I'm hitting the arm drags and the 'ranas on my opponents. Plus, I'm the only hero that the kids in this country have to look up to so I don the cape for them as well.

People also like to question me as to why I wear a mask when I'm in the ring. They're always like, 'yo, what are you trying to hide from us Juan? Or should I say... JOHN?!' Damn conspiracy theorists. You boys need to lay off the Mission Impossible movies. The mask is also symbolic to who we are as wrestlers. The mask that we wear also fall back on the tradition in our sport. You see, in Mexico we pride ourselves on tradition when it comes to wrestling. It's sort of like how in Japan they pride themselves on honor and respect. It's not like the United States where professional wrestling has lost meaning and is no longer the art form that it used to be.

But that's okay because Juan Madison is here to chase after the American dream and get his taste of American wrestling. I'm a man who likes to dip into many different styles in order to challenge myself. I've worked in Japan, England, and Canada, so I've experienced various forms of professional wrestling. Now, I could sit here and say that I'm gonna force honor, respect, and tradition onto you chicos but I'm not that kind of guy. I'm here to play it by your rules and become a better American wrestler than everyone else. I see it as a challenge that I've set myself up with.

That's why I don't understand all of the hostility from you guys. I'm not asking you boys to take pride in what you do. I'm asking you to do the exact same bullshit that you've been doing for decades so that I can beat you at it. Instead, you guys judge me and my unique style. Most of you even try to accuse me of being John Madison even though that myth was debunked two weeks ago on Madness.

So because my name is Madison, I'm not allowed to have a fair shot at a career or a normal life? You Americans are so damn paranoid, man. Whatever happened to 'innocent until proven guilty?' I swear, any time you Americans feel threatened, you start making false accusations and firing off your fuckin' missiles.

Yes, me and the legendary, immortal, King John Madison have some things in common. We are the same height and weight, and we both bring to the ring a relentless tenacity unseen by anyone else in the XWF. But other than those three things, we are two totally different amigos.

For one, I'm not some crazy ass gringo who runs around with a Glock. Secondly, John Madison is a fuckin' beast; the one and only true veteran in this sport. Me? Man, I've been losing matches left and right from the get-go. I'm a rookie to American wrestling, amigos. I am not worthy of walking in the boots of the great, almighty John Madison. One day I will though. Although I'm flattered that the XWF is already comparing me to the King of the XWF. Still, it just doesn't make any sense what you're accusing me of doing.

I mean, why in the hell would John Madison go through the trouble of wearing a mask just so he can lose the Rumble in Brooklyn and the Thunderbowl? Maddy would kill everyone in those matches, amigos. He doesn't need to wear a mask.

I will say this though. I have had the privilege of training with John Madison and his Black Circle and boy what a blast it has been. John Madison has taught me so much in the short amount of time that I've been here. Just the other day, he had me practice taking a cattle prod to Luca Arzegotti's balls. At first I didn't understand how the cattle prod would help me, but then John explained to me how the cattle prod has helped him win many championships. The cattle prod has proven to be one of the most effective wrestling moves in American wrestling.

I don't necessarily agree with it cause I'd rather just do arm drags and flying head scissors all night, but if zapping another guy with a cattle prod is the way to go about conducting business then so be it. Like I said, I'm here to accomplish the American dream and be the best American-style wrestler that I can be. I'll be more than happy to do things the American way if that's what the XWF considers to be their best.

Screw honor. Screw integrity. Just have a friend interfere, electrocute your opponent's taint and roll them up for the win.

At first, I thought there might be a chance that I could restore some pride to American wrestling. I now realize how foolish it was to think that because the dumb Americans (as well as the Brits, Canadians, and other nationalities in the XWF) refuse to take pride in anything they do. We're all just running around punching each other in the balls and no one cares! It's like a wacky circus!

Your champion is a man who all of you constantly try to back into a corner but he always ends up winning anyway. You have all of these powerful groups running rampant in your federation, but you can't stop John Madison and his two dumbass friends? By the way, one of those friends (Shane

) happens to be handicap since he only has one working eye. And just for the record, Shane

isn't even an active wrestler! He's as dangerous as your mailman. The other guy (Luca Arzegotti) is also handicapped at the moment with a screwed up ankle, yet he's somehow walking around with your number two championship.

Holy shit, amigos. Is this your idea of 'Xtreme,' by letting two disabled men get the better of you every week? I'm pretty sure John Madison is suffering from alcoholism as well. Are you guys telling me you can't beat up a drunk guy? This is pathetic! You're letting two disabled people and a man with a disease carry your championships.

So then you might bring up, 'well, John Madison also has an alliance with The Congregation.' And to that I present to you the same circumstances.

Eli James IV -- Wow, this guy is your other number two champion. Obviously this guy is suffering from some kind of mental disorder. For one, he just rambles on and on in his crazy little world. This is proof that there really aren't any intellectual wrestlers in America. And two:

Sincere Lee Wild -- History has shown that this dirty hoe is a moron. I believe she might be afflicted with AIDS which would explain her mental and physical weaknesses.

Mystica -- This is the guy with the multiple personality disorder or something. He's got something going on with him that's making him unstable. This chico shouldn't be in a wrestling ring, he should be at a mental hospital undergoing care by a trained professional. How in the fuck is he able to out-wrestle half of the locker room?

Elisha -- Don't even get me started on this gringo. Just watch an excerpt of this guy's promo and you'll wonder how he even manages to put on his ring gear.

This all has to be some kind of joke that John Madison is playing on you guys, or is he challenging himself since no one here is worth a damn? Did he seriously just round up as many fucked-in-the-head people as he could find just to give himself a challenge?

It certainly cannot be a strength or 'power' thing because neither Luca nor The Congregation have shown any interest in dethroning the king. Not only that, but when John Madison first recruited these men, they were NOTHING.

I suppose what it comes down to is John Madison wanting to see who he can turn into stars. Go back and watch the early footage of Luca Arzegotti pre-Black Circle. That shit was brutal. Now he's champion. Go back and watch Eli James IV pre-Black Circle. He was nowhere near as dominant as he is today. Technically, Eli is still a fucking rookie but thanks to John Madison's mentoring, people see him as a veteran already. Just think of how big he'll be when he actually is a veteran!

And now it's my time. Odelay! I'm Juan Madison and I'm John Madison's new prospect. I'm the next Luca Arezegotti-- the unstoppable number two guy in the company.

Needless to say, there is a lot riding on this next match of mine.

Poppa Madison told me that if I don't do good, he's going to whip Luca with his belt! "

Luca: "WHAT?! Fuck you, Joh-"

(yelling off camera) "SHUT THE FUCK UP, LUCA!"

"Erm, sorry. I was looking over at John Madison who just yelled at Luca to shut the fuck up. I don't like when John has to yell, but Luca should know better than to interrupt another Black Circle member's promo.

Luca has been on a roll which means that I must follow his example as long as he doesn't interrupt anymore of my promos.

So Night of Sacrifice, the 'Jessie Diaz Show.'

These shows get more and more fucked up, don't they? I heard they're taking us to outer space next week. Shit, that reminds me-- I gotta go get measured for my space suit later.

Anyway, I got this Tijuana Street Fight. Let me start off by stating for the record that I have been through my fair share of Tijuana tussles, most of which did infact take place in the streets. This chico, Kyle Morrison, doesn't stand a chance in this kind of environment. For one, I'm gonna have my mariachi amigos out there at ringside playing music during my fight like I'm some crazy ass Mexican New Jack. Secondly, I'll be out there chugging burritos and tequila left and right while I whoop this gringo's MMA wannabe ass.

Has anyone other than me looked into this chico yet? My God he's dreadful.

He's just a bitch from Texas with a closet full of Tap Out t-shirts. You know, those ugly ass shirts with the skulls and shit that posers wear in order to look tough...

Shit, and people wanna call my ring gear phony and ridiculous. What is Kyle 'The Machine' trying to prove?

'Oh shit, check out the skull and chains on these threads I bought for $24.99, bro.'

Kyle Morrison is just another pussy from Texas who can't hack it in the Octagon or the squared circle. I'm pretty sure his training goes as far back as practicing Muay Thai on his neighbor or watching Tito Ortiz' training DVDs. This tool even wears MMA gear to the ring. And guess what? I've never heard of Kyle Morrison in my life and he didn't bother to inform us of his accomplishments in his roster profile either. So that tells me that Kyle Morrison hasn't done shit in his career other than play dress up.

Kyle, you fucking actor, get out of my wrestling ring. Take your ass to fucking Bellator, you pussy.

You know what I'm sick of?

I'm sick of this industry's obsession with bringing influences in from Mixed Martial Arts. Get over it already; it's not gonna happen, amigos. Ever since Paul Heyman went on the radio and opened his Hebrew mouth about how he'd present TNA in a UFC format, people haven't been able to shut the fuck up about it. Dixie Carter cannot even run a show without some dickhead from the Octagon showing up to promote their lame-ass fights. This MMA thing needs to go away and let pro wrestling be pro wrestling.

But no, instead I'm forced to put up with a

, MMA influence known as Kyle Morrison. Look at how this idiot describes his wrestling style:

Quote:Wrestling Style: technical, grappling, with various MMA strikes and kicks mixed in similar to CM Punk

Wow, imagine if CM Punk had walked around saying, 'hey guys I took KENTA's GTS and turned it into shit!'

CM Punk can eat shit. Here's how a real man does a GTS:

[Image: tumblr_mjkayxmrIs1s3as1mo1_250.gif]

Yeah, so it looks like Kyle Morrison has a hard on for Phil Brooks like every other dolt that the machine spits out at us. (Maybe that's why he calls himself 'The Machine' in the first place...) Congratulations, Kyle. You're a shitty knock off of an overrated knock off.

That's pathetic how Kyle has such a hard on for Phil that he has to mention him when asked about his wrestling style. Kyle could have just left that portion of his profile as 'MMA moves that I practice in my mom's basement,' but he went ahead and name dropped the most overrated pussy in the sport of professional wrestling. Guess what, Kyle? CM Punk came here to XWF and he FAILED! I'm serious, go watch some old footage from March and you'll see how terrible he was. And you actually model yourself after him! If you're just a cheap knock off of the man, then just think of how terrible you're gonna be when it comes time to prove yourself.

I've got news for you, Kyle. On Saturday night, we will not touch gloves, amigo. There will not be doctors or a panel of judges at ringside. And I will not stop my foot from stomping you in the back of your head if you fall down to the mat.

Luca just told me that you cut a promo. I can't wait to find out what you had to say, CM Morrison.

Stay tuned...

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