07-19-2024, 07:36 PM
“I don’t look at it as fair.” The tone was contemplative. Not a definitive tone on his feelings of the matter, but as if there was further thought to dig into; to be curious of being curious. The continuous string pull of self-actualization, where all thoughts are infinitely recursive containers for fellow thoughts. It was a task to know why all the pieces would add up into this singular statement. Ion of Chios’ 'Know Thyself' which was scrolled upon the Temple of Apollo, now laid upon the inner walls of Henry’s mind. But, perhaps, this isn't how Henry would word it. Henry didn’t really have a way to word it. It simply was. He simply thought. All simply came. All simply left…To Henry.
The Rockford Rabble laid upon a ratty couch, his head propped up by the arm from which all stuffing had vacated years prior. His hands, with fingers interlocked, were gently placed upon his stomach. The white of his shirt bounced the sun beams pooling from the adjacent window into his unflinching visage. The room itself was a bare display, with only old pizza boxes with stale crusts to decorate the scratched up wood flooring, and faded yellow stains to serve as the paintings. This had been someone’s home, but it certainly wasn’t Henry’s.
“There is really no way to look at it as fair. Two matches in one night. A qualifier with three other opponents, and then the possibility to participate in a much more physically intense spectacle with six undeniable warriors…One of whom could possibly be my own teammate if all things go as they should.” His jaw swayed side to side, putting the numbers together in his head. There was a swell of frustration when possibilities became tangled up in a matrix he was not suited to work through. His brow furrowed and his teeth clenched together. “I'm not going to waste time talking percentages or statistics, because it's just fucking obvious that opportunities aren’t created equal. But equality isn't the point…” His hands pulled apart to leverage himself up, sitting in the center of the couch, wondering now if it was an exposed spring or a used needle that poked into his back.
“I may be slow, but I’m not dumb. It would be ridiculous to think that I deserve the same playing field as those who are already in the Leap of Faith match. These are individuals who have worked to build themselves up to this point.” Henry stared nowhere in particular, off into a space that captured his eyes in stray details of concentration. His hands fussed with the multiple rings placed upon different fingers, twisting them against the skin; these rings which hid the micro-scars he had been building up his whole adult life. “That’s the game then. If we are going to get ourselves this incredible opportunity, we have to do something other-worldly. We have to show we want it so bad that it doesn’t matter if it is three people, six people, nine people, or twenty people!”
“When the big wigs come to you and say, ‘Okay, we are going to give you the shot of a lifetime, but you have to work ten times harder and face ten times the obstacles!’ You can’t say ‘how come?!’, you have to accept that roadmap put in front of you! Because, if you actually want it and believe you deserve it, you know that you will charge through every last one of those obstacles even if it is ten times the amount everyone else has to go through. Because, you have to know you are ten times better than everyone else in that locker room before you can feel like you deserve anything!”
Henry snorted as he leaned forward, forearms on knees, fingers gripping harder to those rings, and ‘Know Thyself' burning red hot in his skull. He was more than happy to live in a world where a punch was a punch and there wasn’t much else to it. But, once there were elements introduced, and his brain started turning at the possibility of punches meaning something, a fire in his nerves would begin to build. It was a greater calling to what used to be a fun way to get away from responsibility. Dormant neurons firing away to the thoughts of being a rough and scuffed king amongst the playground. All hail King Hittems.
“I know what most think when they are looking at me. Folks in the locker room see a green horn, someone with no history that they care about. The higher-ups see an upstart, too confident for his own good. People on the street see someone they will pass-by and actively not want to think about again. Those are all fair examinations, as I might as well have popped out of the aether for all of you. I have no divine proclamation to lay claim to any immediate success. I can talk about doing this or that here and there, where I succeeded and how I’m the best, but all that might as well not exist.”
“All that matters is what I am going to do Sunday in The Vatican City at Leap of Faith. As far as you all are concerned, those will be my first steps into any fight ever. That will be where I make my first impression to hundreds of thousands of people!” The grip on his rings loosened. His gaze now found focus straight ahead of him. The fire in the endless tendrils of his nervous system steadied itself…
“But, let me tell you something that I can say without a doubt in my mind that everyone of those wrestlers in XWF can connect with me on; they’ll know that I speak for real when I say it: And it is what makes any of these accolades matter to even an nth of a degree that they do.” Henry held out his hand, fingers splayed out and facing to the damaged floor of this vacant room, as if claiming the land as a whole under his dominating decree. “This is my therapy. Of all the things one could be in this life, of all the direction one can take, of all the mistakes and blessings and information one can have in this world, there has to be something that drags us and those like us here. Many would say it is not normal to put myself in these situations, and that the most I will get out of it is a bunch of holes in my brain. The reality is, though, that I don’t know another kind of me that does anything else.”
Those splayed fingers now ran through his hair as a sardonic smile crawled upon his face. The dots were connecting in a way that was rare for the Rockford Rabble. All of life’s twists and turns started to have a shape he could recognize. He could see the edges of revelation approaching as the old philosophical axiom continued to grow hotter and hotter. “You see, when I’m fighting, that is when the world makes sense to me…When I make sense to me. Finally! All the transactions and schemes and plans add up to something that I can understand!”
“Some people may look at the corporate ladder and say to themselves, ‘that is what I am going to climb to find my self-worth! Gee golly gee whiz! That is how I am going to know I’ve made it!’ Couldn’t be me! Couldn’t possible be fucking me! That sort of endeavor tells me nothing! It always felt so empty! Being judged by another man’s way of life.”
“With wrestling, with coming into this company and finding a way to be larger than life, only I can measure that success. Only I can know what it means to me to be able to step into the ring with another person, and overpower them with my own thoughts; my own ability; my own will! I can feel the goddamn reality of it give me the confirmation of who I am! The only ladder I climb is the one that holds a title or a briefcase at the top! And the only reason I wouldn’t be able to climb it is because another wrestler took that power away from me with all that they are!” The tone in Henry’s voice slowly grew in intensity. The words forcing themselves out like pressurized steam on the verge of blowing every bolt and screw holding the machine together.
“That is the only real way to know it’s fair! That is the only real way to know your bounds!” His eyes pierced forward with a shaky focus, the energy and frustration clear in the ever slight quake of his pupils. “A lot of the rest of the world confuses me with rules that no one cares to explain! These rules that supposedly make me dimwitted, makes me undesirable, makes me deplorable! I’m constantly wondering why none of anything makes sense to me! But…”
Suddenly the rage dissipated with a silent woosh. A center was found with a simple thought. The pupils stopped shaking, the teeth stopped grinding together, the arm returned back down to rest, and Henry spoke his next words in the same contemplative tone he began in. “But, here, the rules make sense. They align with my mind in such a way that I can start doing the scheming that I see the most cutthroat executives do. I can start weighing myself against the pack and know where I stand. I can know a sense of purpose that continues to drive me day after day, week after week, to the ends of time! I can see a chance at a title and know what it means for me to buckle it around my waste and claim I am the best at what I was put on this Earth to do!”
“And that is why it doesn’t matter if it isn’t fair. I will push through two, three, four matches for the opportunity. Not because I find gold oh so pretty. It is because when I walk out into the arena at Warfare holding that briefcase, everyone will know what I had to do to get it. They will know that three men couldn’t stop me and that six more couldn’t match me even with a head start. This opportunity will have meant so much specifically because I will have battered and bashed myself against nine other wrestlers to get it! The impression I will have left will be unmatched and you all will see me how I have always seen me!”
His arms held out to each side of him, displaying himself like a glorious piece of art in the context it was always meant to be observed. A stream of euphoria hit Henry with the full actualization of his person. The final bold point of his thesis which would be peer reviewed with fisticuffs. But, that was not the proclamation to make just yet…A short chuckle emitted from his lips as he recognized the awkwardness in his grandeur. It was not like him to speak so lofty in his goals. He found it more agreeable to let actions do most of the talking. But, something inside him felt the grandeur was appropriate. He could feel it in his bones that what he was attempting to do was ring a warning short before people found themselves dumbstruck when they kept their eyes on the wrong people. His hands fell to the couch as he simply shook his head.
“But again, I’m not dumb. There is something I have come to understand when dealing with this level of competition. Walking into some local show, you can feel safe that you are gonna face off with bums. Because, if they were good, they wouldn’t be there anymore… Every once in a while, you find someone worth their salt. They give you a run for your money and all that shit. Understand, though, this is the exception, not the rule. So, you run roughshod on the place and move on.”
“Then you do it again to the next place and the next place. You start getting this feeling like you are untouchable and that you must be a fucking god! Some people get real cocky then, when they are brought into a place like XWF, let alone the mecca itself. What you end up realizing is that this is where all that talent missing from the local shows went. The top one percent, if not the top percent of the one percent. Go in with the wrong idea and you become a curtain jerker no matter how hard you try. How the fuck did that happen?” Henry’s tongue slid along his bottom row of teeth, the only break in the unimpressed gaze the memories of these bums brought.
“Instead, I have to understand that this is where the real competition begins. Not just in the Leap of Faith match, but in my qualifier match. Bulk Logan, Peter Vaughn, and Bob Grenier. I don’t expect any of them to roll over for me…There is a glorious story for each of them stepping into the ring on Sunday. You have Peter Vaughn attempting to return to his former heights as Universal Champion! Probably the most pronounced career of the three! Wanting to prove that he still has it in him to be a top guy! Could you imagine it…” Henry held out hands in front of him to create a frame in which his mind could project onto.
“He is not out of his prime! He still got it! The electricity in the arena as the volatile variable of a former champion of champions enters the ring among the already stacked competition! I imagine Peter would love that! To hold on to that confidence and bring in some hope that he didn’t already peak!” Moving away from the frame, his fingers gently rubbed his chin, while his eyes drifted up to the ceiling; more contemplation and more scheming… “Man, I hope that you didn’t lose a step, man. Even I would get goosebumps. Would be a real shame if I made you eat the pin then and had to remind you that the wrestling world is moving on without you.” There was a shrug that served no opinion this way or that on the matter. He simply stood up from the dilapidated sofa and paced his way back and forth, arms swinging to and fro.
“Then there is Bulk Logan. Just picture it. Some color and pizzazz being added into such a serious match! The energy would zoom through the crowd! Briefcase in hand, Bulk would make the American public believe in Jesus, Santa, and the Easter Bunny again! Ratings would sky-rocket! Power and Charisma going hand in hand! XWF would be a true blue spectacle as the most exciting man in wrestling becomes the face of the company! I mean...it would have to go like this, because the alternative is that if he loses, the man lived a clown’s life and then dies a clown’s death!” There was a sneering chuckle, as if an unknown prank had been pulled somewhere beyond sight and sound. But, the pacing continued in its rhythm, if not picking up speed to Henry’s excitement.
“But, what does that say of Bob who is practically as new as me? Well, to tell you the truth, Mr. Grenier might have had an unfortunate first match upon his arrival in XWF, failing to qualify the first time for Leap of Faith...But, wouldn’t that be just the thing! Coming from the absolute bottom! An onslaught of doubt! But, then say that he does it? Absolute comeback story of the year! This man will have rocketed from the very bottom to the very top! The loss? A fluke! The first time in history someone has successfully made a second-first impression!...” Henry stopped in place. A moment of silent passes with only a nod moving the moment on. “It would just be sad then if the loss wasn’t a fluke and a second loss would just cement in that Bob was a mistake made by the XWF higher ups. Maybe he was just a half-decent bum among a sea of local bums. But that is neither here nor there!”
Arms crossed, Henry seated himself upon the arm of the couch, gears turning faster in this mind. “But, the tale of the underdog isn’t the only one being told here. There are five vetted individuals who worked to solidify their spot without objection. People love underdogs, but the cold hard truth is that such a tale is an outlier. What we have instead are battle-tested warriors, to tell narratives rivaling that of the myths before the modern world.”
“You have Matthias Syn who has been nothing less than a force of nature since joining the XWF!” He held up a hand, to hold the imaginary image of the dark and brooding brutalizer. “It is the exact kind of start where future legends are made. He didn’t build a myth, he made that shit real, and him grabbing that case will only show how fucking real it is! Cutting through the competition like an exacto-knife, showing us the future of the company beyond a shadow of a doubt!”
“Johnny Bacchus as well!” And up goes the other hand, weighing the opposing individual in his mind. “The man speaks too many big words for me to follow but seeing him in the ring, it is pretty simple to understand he is a threat. A smart man who can fight is a man who has already won half of the battle. Just like how there are tales of folk heroes who out-wit a spirit of trickery, Bacchus’ big play will be using the foolishness of chaos to grasp his victory with a deft hand. And with that briefcase, he will be a dangerous predator choosing his moment wisely to strike and assure himself of victory. A win in the Leap of Faith match would be a dangerous weapon.”
“But in front of both of them are decorated champions.” His hands clasp in a thunderous clap, followed by a second of pause, as if letting the world gather back together from the cacophonous disruption. “Dionysus, Misty Waters, and Ned Kaye. Dionysus, himself, was at one point a rising star in XWF so little a-time ago. An Xtreme Champion and a two time television champion. Those are accomplishments to be proud of. But, it isn’t 2023 for the rising star anymore and this following year has not been so kind to him. Which is not an uncommon sight among us. Candle that burns twice as bright and all that... But, I can say for sure that it is not a position any competitor wants to find themselves in. His mind must be full of hopes that this will be the exact thing he needs to jump start himself to that next level! To break out of that rut he found himself in and become the superstar he knows himself to be! Escape the fear of a sophomore slump, and continue to change the face of this company like he has been since the beginning!”
“But, that doesn’t even come close to the long legacy and the winding road that we have with Ms. Waters. Maybe under the name Misty, you won’t see much. A Meth induced delusion will do that to you. But, seeing Dolly Water’s name is a long standing element of XWF! Going back further than anyone else involved in this match. Just look at her accolades of plenty of titles and historic moments. One of the few things missing from her legacy is her chance at the Universal Title. I don’t care if you love or hate her, that would be one helluva storied career to see her win that briefcase and then drop in and take the top title to cap off a long career. All the wrestling world would be alight with talk and speculation as the cagiest fighter in the business took her spot.”
“But, then you got the only person arguably more decorated and more impressive than even Ms. Waters’ career. Ned Kaye. A current champion and the most recent former universal champion. Obvious…Obviously…Ned’s name is the hottest in this match. He is the one everybody is looking at. He has the accolades to return to the top and feel like he didn’t miss a step! If I was a betting man, my bet would be on Ned Kaye coming out in full force and taking that briefcase and attempting to restart the title rain that was so unfortunately cut short! The world of wrestling would be more than excited to see two titans go at it once again! Could you imagine?! The shock and awe as Ned cashes in the briefcase, one, two, three joins the coveted club of two time universal champion!”
“Those are all amazing stories, right? Those are the legacies in the making and how history is made…Too bad that is not what is going to happen.” Henry now simply scratched the back of his head, almost embarrassed by the big spectacles he made of everyone “Because, the thing that everyone is going to learn at Leap of Faith is that it isn’t their story. It’s mine! Let me tell you exactly what kind of story that is…” Lifting off from the arm of the couch, the Rockford Rabble stood tall. The machine was in working order and all thoughts were in harmony, singing a note beyond confidence. “I fight through the qualifier! They put up a good fight, but they could not possibly compare to the hunger I feel, not in the need for gold or for legacy, but to show that I can! And then I will wage war with the giants of XWF and destroy every last one of their stories! Absolutely snuff out the hopes they had built for using this moment to reach for the top! To see what it is like to be defied, as I destroy every standard and expectation that has built this company for the last so many years!”
“Day one! First match, first show, first major event! Henry Hittems steals hope away from everyone! And when it happens, you better pray to whatever pantheon that you believe in that I don’t get the title, because if I do, you are not seeing it for a very long time! Because, you see, unlike every other possible outcome at this event, the one where Henry Hittems wins is the one where XWF drops into a dark age! Where wrestling as a whole is held hostage by one man! So, you better hope one of those fairy tales comes true! Because you may not know me or what I am capable of yet, but I know exactly who I am and what I'm about! So, I am giving you warning! The only way anyone else has a chance at Leap of Faith is to Know Thyself! To know your limit and break it, because I am going to look to break every last one of mine to put everyone else’s career six feet under! You don’t have to look at it as fair. Because, that’s the fucking point!” All simply came and all simply left. Except Henry.
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