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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Leap Of Faith 2024 RP Board
Travels With Champ: In Search of Canada.
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BobGrenier420 Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
Mixed

(loved by some; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


#1
07-11-2024, 11:25 AM

His has been of a wife is busy in the kitchen. She has lost considerable weight since they wed. She knows her place, but he is secretly disgusted by her which in turn makes him a disapointment to himself. Afterall, She's a good woman at heart. It's just since the gastric bypass his wife has become an insufferable bitch.

She places a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him. As well as a side of burnt toast and horrible tasting coffee. It's been the same routine for 9 grueling years. She refuses to splurge on Nescafe and he's grown sick of skim milk. The lack of 2% milk in his life pisses him off greatly. He'll never speak his mind though. He just loathes her in private. His own private hatred. He screams her name in the depths of his mind as she places a plate of homemade cookies in front of him. Chocolate chip. Lord how he hates his woman. She can piss up a rope for all he cares. 

He was diagnosed with diabetes long ago. She continues to feed him sugar and other harmful foods. Last year a diabetic cyst threatened to take his foot. Thankfully they staved off infection with a round of antibiotics. His children think their wicked step-mother might have a life insurance policy on the old man. Time will tell.

This decrepit old man with the shitty life and horrible wife spends his days eating his wife's unhealthy and cooking and watching professional wrestling. It's all he's got.

With diabetes raging through his body and threatening amputation of his limbs, His wife still nags at him to rake the yard and cut the grass and she is prone to violence if defied. Naturally, He obeys. His children think she will work him to death. Time will tell.

Between the sessions of hard labor he is able to relax. He sees a familiar face on his television screen and everything is right in the world.

Bob sits in an old wooden chair with a high back. He takes a sip of coffee and places the cup on a small table beside him. Behind him are two bookshelves filled with dozens and dozens of novels. He is wearing a tattered house coat and a pair of tighty whities.

"I'm a man who in private, Enjoys the pursuit of knowledge. I am forever on a quest for truth. I enjoy reading about the secrets of the universe.."

The camera pans across the shelves, filled with leather-bound novels and dusty textbooks, before focusing back on Bob Grenier, a hint of a smile on his face.

"In our business, The only truth is the one that lies between the ropes and my friends, I am that truth. I have always been a man that will study every angle, Pick apart any mistake you make , I've spent 20 years up and down the road refining my craft picking up knowledge about what it takes to make and that's exactly what I did. I've been on top and I will be again. Bank on that."

He pauses again and takes a sip of coffee. He takes a mighty bong rip as well. This is typical Grenier stuff. He begins to speak again.

"I've always been a man who knows what it takes to get the job done. I've never been afraid of a little bit of hard work. I lost at Warfare in Washington but I've been granted a second opportunity. XWF has allowed me to participate in a 2nd Chance Qualifier so taking advantage of this second chance is precisely what I intend to do. I've been here before. I've been in this situation. Preparing to wage war in a holy land. There is nothing I haven't done. This is nothing new to me. Back in OCW, I once beat Mark Storms ass so bad in Jerusalem we never saw that choad nugget again. To my opponents, Bring everything you have and dig down and bring a little more because you will need to be firing on all cylinders to overcome the ruckus I am about to bring. Bob Grenier is nothing to fuck with."

Weed.
Coffee.
Rinse. Wash. Repeat.
He breaks up the monotony by patting his dog on the head.

"For Bulk Logan, Peter Vaugh and Prince Adeyami, I promise you all that this will be a teachable moment. I'm going to be the one who grabs the opportunity but being in the ring with me will make you all better professionals, husband, fathers. You all are about to get the rub. Second opportunities do not appear very often.

He stops speaking. He looks calm. He partakes in his vices once again before continuing to speak. His words are confident. He is articulate. When he speaks, People listen and they remember.

"One thing you will all come to realize is that just as sure as the sun sets in the west and rises in the north, Bob Grenier will bring the fight. Just as sure as death and taxes are in this life we live, Bob Grenier lays down for nobody. I will not be a stepping stone. I refuse to be the gateway for another person's moment. I will take the ultimate Leap of Faith in myself and my abilities. I am betting on myself and nobody should ever bet against a man who truly believes in the beauty of his dreams..."

The promo ends and the loathsome man with the horrible wife turns off the TV. He stands up from his dirty couch and musters up the courage to tell this bitch he wants a divorce. She immediately flys off the handle and chucks his precious television remote at his face. She denies his request and tells him to sit down and eat his fried chicken. He does. Unhappily.

----

The debut of Bob Grenier in XWF clearly did not go as planned. Shit happens. Life goes on. He finds himself at home again. Same old porch, Same old Grateful Dead coffee mug, Same old life on the farm with his beloved dog Champ.

Upon arriving home our hero had an epiphany. For 20 years he has been on the road, Prodiminently in the United States of America. As a man who lauds his country for everything it has afforded him, He hasn't seen enough of it. He sits on his porch with his keys in his hand and a couple of bags packed. He checks his watch as if he is waiting for someone and as he does a taxi pulls up. It's Lee. Lee is the mild mannered Asian man that Bob has previously trusted with caring for his property in his absence. Bob meets him in the driveway and takes his bags. Champ follows.

Lee: Mr Champ, Little fella. Nice to see you.

He pulls a small red package of rice crackers from his pocket and the dog goes crazy with excitement. He seemingly knows what Lee is holding and begins to drool.

Lee: I see you still love the Bin-Bin Crackers. Funny dog.

Bob: Lee! It's really nice to see you.

Lee: You as well.

Bob: I'll be gone for about two weeks. Just remember, My house is falling apart. Empty that stupid water bucket in the basement so the place doesn't flood.

Lee: You still haven't fixed that?

Bob: I don't have time and I'll never hire another person to touch my house. You know this.

Lee: I know. Perhaps I'll give it a look. Fix it with ancient oriental techniques.

They both laugh.

Bob: Oh yeah, What are these techniques? Misser Lee.

Bob bows gracefully and uses his fingers to make his eyes look Asian. Although most people would conceive this as offensive in today's society, Lee does not. He laughs. They are friends and he thinks Bob is funny.

Lee: Pipe wrench, New piece of pipe. Perhaps a little sauter. Misser Bob.

He bows and also uses his fingers to do the Asian eyes even though he is clearly oriental. They laugh again. Lee pulls a small child's block from his pocket and hands it to Bob. It has a symbol on it.

Bob: What's this?

Lee: Ancient symbol "Fu". It means good fortune and happiness. For your travels.

Bob: Happiness is a fish I caught a long time ago. I could use some good fortune though. Thank you.

Lee: You take that with you to Leap of Faith and good things will come.

Bob: Sometimes I think I should probably retire to be honest. Settle into a quiet life here. My best days are clearly behind me.

Lee: Bob, As long as your enjoying yourself the end results don't matter.

Bob: I guess your right. I'm just a little slower these days. Hard to keep up with these young guys.

Lee: You are only as young as you feel. Just remember as well: If the climb becomes too much, You can always turn around.

Bob: Did you really just quote The Meat Puppets Lee?

Lee smirks. Bob does as well.

Bob: I like having you around. Perhaps once I get back you'll consider staying awhile longer?

Lee: I'd love that.

Bob and Lee exchange a quick hug and a handshake. He begins to walk to his truck with his bags in hand. He makes it halfway across the driveway before he stops and turns around. His dog is looking at him with sadness in his eyes.

Bob: You know, I think I'll take the dog with me.

Bob begin this journey with "Gabrielle" by Ween blaring from the speakers. He immediately places a joint in his mouth. It's highly illegal to smoke weed and drive but Bob Grenier drives better high than most people do sober.

A few hours later he reaches Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. He decides to take a break in the nations capital. At the parliament buildings on Parliament Hill a group of protesters have gathered in defiance of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. This is normal behavior. He walks over to a man waving a flag that reads "Fuck Trudeau". Bob shakes his head in disapproval.

Bob: See, I don't get this.

Guy: Get what man?

Bob: The hate for Justin Trudeau. I've worked hard my whole life. I'm a productive member of society. Every opportunity afforded to me has been done so by this great country and the government that runs it.

Guy: You just don't understand politics man.

He scoffs at this notion but holds no ill will. After 20 years in the wrestling business Bob has certainly done his fair share of politicking.

Bob: I guess I'm just a simple man with a simple life who works and earns his pay and lives a life of solitude. I go home and I'm content. Which leaves me no reason to question our government or its methods. I have a pretty sweet life.

Bob breaks out a joint and passes it to the guy. They smoke it together. Uncomfortable with the situation he goes back to his truck and continues his trek across the Great White North.

2224 into his journey, We've reached the province of Manitoba. He cruises along the Hudson Bay coastline at a decent clip. Champ hands his head out the window as he admires the artic tundra. He pulls off to the side of the road and performs a quick search on Google Maps. Once satisfied with the results he continues driving.

Once they hit Winnipeg, Bob pulls up to a small house. He gets out of his truck and knocks on the front door. A young girl answers the door.

Bob: Hi! Is Fred home?

Girl: Whose Fred?

Bob: Fred Penner, This is 660 Freeland Avenue right?

Girl: Mom!!! There's some guy here looking for Fred Penner again. Who the hell is Fred Penner?

Bob looks astonished. As if everyone should know who Fred Penner is. He is an iconic children's entertainer in Canada, With such classics as "Otto The Hippo" and "The Cat Came Back". The girls mom comes to the door.

Mom: Yes, This was Fred Penners childhood home. No he doesn't live here anymore. Please go away.

She slams the door in his face. Undeterred, He knocks again and she answers.

Bob: Could I maybe have a look around?

Mom: Absolutely not! Look..

She closes the door briefly and returns holding a dusty old fedora.

Mom: When we bought this house, We found some old hats that belonged to him. Take it and go.

She slams the door again. Bob holds the hat with an incredibly proud look on his face. He puts Fred Penners fedora on his head with a smile and continues down the road, Primus blaring over the speakers. He proceeds to find a nice place to camp again. He sleeps with the fedora on his head.

The next morning he wakes up refreshed with Saskatchewan on his mind. After a hearty breakfast he is back on the road. As he continues to drive west down the Trans Canada Highway the landscape changes from lush forests and lakes to endless fields of wheat that seem to go on forever. As he crosses the border into Saskatchewan the grain elevators stand like statues in the sky. He rolls down his window and catches a whiff of freshly tilled soil and wildflowers. He takes it all in and appreciates the freedom he feels.

The open road continues before him but somewhere down the line Bob has ran out of piss jugs so he has pulled over at a roadside rest stop to urinate. He may also need to take a dump, Only time will tell. He makes his way to the bathroom and sits down. In an effort to pass the time he reads some bathroom graffiti laughing at such gems as "Piss Fast, Die Hard, Shit Harder" and "☆☆☆☆☆ Would dookie here again!"

After a few tense minutes he drops the browns off at the superbowl. He wipes his ass thoroughly and flushes his excrement. In Canada we call this a job well done. He soon exits the bathroom and does so without washing his hands.

He makes his way over to his truck and let's his dog out to go about his own bathroom business as he sparks a pretty substantial joint. He inhales deeply and holds that shit in before he exhales. Bob and his faithful companion hop back in the truck. A sign reads "Lake Louise - 21 KM". The duo feasts on Patridge they hunted and prepared themselves for this trip as the barrell down the road.

Eventually they make Lake Louise and all its splendor. The water is calm and sparkling. Bob decides to pitch a tent along the shore and spend the night. He dips one toe into the water to test the temperature before diving in. His dog follows suit.

After two nights of camping in Alberta and driving for an entire day he finally reaches British Columbia. BC is widely known as the marijuana capital of Canada. Since legalization across this great country it has become a multi billion dollar a industry that has funded schools and hospitals. The marijuana business is tailor made for a guy like Bob. He definitely has his cock buried deep in the business which has made him incredibly wealthy.

He pulls into Nelson, BC. It's a hub of marijuana activity. Bob steps out of his truck, dressed in a hoodie and sunglasses. He looks around cautiously before entering the warehouse

Bob: (to himself) Alright, let's see how my babies are doing.

He walks through the dimly lit warehouse, the air thick with the pungent aroma of marijuana. Rows of plants stretch up towards the ceiling, their leaves glistening with dew.

Bob: Beautiful. Just beautiful.

He approaches a group of workers in lab coats, who are carefully tending to the plants.

Worker 1: Ah, Bob! Good to see you, sir. Everything's looking great!

Bob: That's what I like to hear. How's the yield looking?

Worker 2: We're on track to meet our quota for the government contract. Quality is top-notch. The new Vargas Kush is premium stuff.

Bob: Excellent. Keep up the good work, boys. I'll make sure to take care of you. You guys are the best. That's why I hired you.

Bob takes a deep breath, savoring the scent of his lucrative side business. He knows the risks are high, but the payoff is worth it. Satisfied, He exits the facility with a joint of Vargas Kush palmed and ready to smoke.

After taking care of business he heads to Vancouver International Airport where he will catch a flight to The Vatican City. He parks his truck outside and turns it off. He breathes deeply. He puts Champ in his crate so he can fly in the cargo hold and walks towards the airport, Hood up. As soon as the doors open and he crosses the line he becomes someone else entirely. He passes the dog crate off to an attendant with a scowl and checks in. You can see the dog in him now. He looks like he wants to rip someone's head off and pretty soon he just may. He boards the flight barely uttering a word to anymore. He is all focus from the time those airport doors slam shut. 
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