PRE-SHOW
BAMA T. w/ SASSAFRASS
- vs -
"HOT" TODD MOSCHITTI w/ GATOR 1 RP, 1K
8 Round Boxing Match
If Bama wins, he will regain his role on commentary
If Todd wins, Gator gets Bama's dog
THUNDER KNUCKLES
DOCTOR LOUIS D'VILLE
JENNY MYST
"MAD DOG" MARK WRIGHT
SURVIVORS FROM MATCH #1
- vs -
SURVIVORS FROM MATCH #2
- vs -
SURVIVORS FROM MATCH #3
06 - 04 - 2023
LIVE FROM TOKYO DOME TOKYO, JAPAN
PRE-SHOW
BAMA T. w/ SASSAFRASS
- vs -
"HOT" TODD MOSCHITTI w/ GATOR 1 RP, 1K
8 Round Boxing Match
If Bama wins, he will regain his role on commentary
If Todd wins, Gator gets Bama's dog
As soon as the bell rings, starting the fight, Bama rushes forward, catching Todd with his gloves down. Bama lands a solid right hook, knocking Todd out instantly. The ref quickly administers the 10 count, and this one's over just like that.
WINNER: BAMA T
The screen goes black. After a few seconds, we begin to see what appears to be an animated, destroyed battlefield, complete with skulls and bones sticking out from various parts of the landscape. As the animated shot moves on, we begin to see flashes of quotes appear on the screen, for only a few seconds each time.
Today is victory over yourself of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men.
The Way of the Warrior is to be found in dying.
In the distance, we can see some sort of frantic struggle going on, as an animated dust cloud covers the scene. The music begins to amp up, as it sounds like a new, heavier cover of Gyze's Samurai Metal. More quotes continue to pop up across the screen.
A warrior is worthless unless he rises above others and stands strong in the midst of a storm.
A Samurai should always be prepared for death - whether his own or someone else's.
As we get closer to the war ahead, we can now see anime versions of many of your favorite XWF superstars, flying around the screen in fierce battle. We see Dolly Waters flipping seamlessly through the fight, stopping only to land a energized Running Waters right into a fallen foe. She's joined by Corey Smith, Dionysus, & the Unknown Soldier, who appears to be in heaven... or hell, depending on what he wants. The screen jumps and Thunder Knuckles appears, charging straight through the field, an unstoppable tank as he sends foes flying. Mad Dog Mark Wright, Doc D'Ville, and Jenny Myst follow in his wake, blasting away at the crowd with no remorse. TK is laughing as he sends another man flying, before turning and coming face-to-face with Bobby Bourbon, a split-screen effect reminiscent of many anime fighting-style shows.
Everyone feels fear. What a samurai or warrior is, is what you do when you feel fear.
A real man does not think of victory or defeat. He plunges recklessly towards an irrational death. By doing this, you will awaken from your dreams.
The colorful shot shifts to the side, where we see Ned Kaye yelling out orders, sending his troops to battle, with Mark Flynn gleefully leaping into action, spinning a foe into the Logical Conclusion. We get the animated "CRACK!" sound of a spine being severed. Isaiah King & Crash Rodriguez are shown, launching into the fray, swinging away with their weapons. On the other side, we see Sidney Grey planted atop a throne, being carried as she enjoys the sight of battle. She orders her own men forward, with Centurion turning towards her, a dark look in his eyes. Jay Omega steps in front of him, signaling where the battle is, and the two confront some attackers, even as Vagabond launches himself into the air, sending off a few blasts from his hands.
At times because of one man’s evil, ten thousand people suffer. So you kill that one man to let the tens of thousands live.
Here, truly, the blade that deals death becomes the sword that saves lives.
Another view of the battlefield brings us to Angelica Vaughn, Raion Kido, Vita Valenteen, and Mr. Oz working through the masses as a team, unleashing incredible double-team maneuvers with powerful effects behind them. Kido is shot into the air by Valenteen, flying straight towards the camera with his Lightning Bolt Punch prepped and ready. As he hits, the screen turns white, and suddenly we're shifted to the side, where Sarah Lacklan, dressed in a full Mech suit, begins driving it forward, unleashing its weaponry on those below. We can see Noah Jackson and Big D on either side of her, in their own suits, as the battle intensifies. Everyone begins to charge together, bringing all their firepower to bear.
War Is Hell
The screen erupts in a huge explosion from the force of each team's collision, bringing the electric anime display to an end. It then tears away, bringing us to the live audience here at the Tokyo Dome! The place appears sold out, as the fans are on their feet, loving being here to see such violence and devastation as only the XWF can bring. We shift down to ringside, where we can see the War Games set-up ready for everything that's to come. The camera maneuvers around it, bringing us to our two announcers for the evening.
HHL: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Land of the Rising Sun!! We're set tonight for one of the most dangerous, violent Pay-Per-Views of the XWF Calendar, War Games! You know, Pip, that there are twenty-four incredible superstars who are going to risk life and limb tonight for the glory of being named the survivor tonight!
PIP: This show always delivers, Heather. For some reason, being inside that cage brings out the frenzied animal in every wrestler. They're going to be unleashed, and I tell you, the fans here at ringside better hope the cage contains them!
HHL: The same could be said for us, Pip. We're pretty close to the action.
PIP: Yeah, but I can still run faster than you.
HHL: Hopefully we won't be putting that to the test. Tonight, we'll have three "preliminary" matches, with the survivors of each contest going on to our finals. Last year, the North Korean War Criminal made it to the end, surviving a furious assault from Raion Kido. This year, we're guaranteed a different winner.
PIP: NKWC never was quite the same after War Games, was he?
HHL: I think you can point to Mark Flynn's involvement there, Pip. Nonetheless, you can bet that many lives will be changed here tonight, and we don't have time to wait around for that to happen. Let's get to the ring for the first of three!
THUNDER KNUCKLES
DOCTOR LOUIS D'VILLE
JENNY MYST
"MAD DOG" MARK WRIGHT
- vs -
DOLLY WATERS
COREY SMITH
UNKNOWN SOLDIER
DIONYSUS
The lights dim in the Tokyodome. On the entrance stage itself, we see two cages.
T.E.A.M. all ride out on a giant walking mech that resembles the Iron Giant! Doctor Louis D’Ville, Jenny Myst, and “Mad Dog” Mark Wright step into the first cage as the fans are going wild for T.E.A.M. Thunder Knuckles continues down to the double rings in a cage, showing he will begin the match for his squad.
HHL: TK is going to start things out for his team tonight! Leading by example!
PIP: Yeah, well, he should have let Doc start things out, he’s the heavy hitter here!
Team Wishmonger all seated on a magic carpet fly around the arena!
HHL: Oh my lord, how did they get a flying carpet!?
PIP: They wished for it!
The flying carpet touches down onto the stage, and Dionysus signals to the rest of the team he’ll be leading off for them tonight! Dolly Waters, Corey Smith, and Unknown Soldier all enter their cage. Dionysus enter the cage and the ringside referees close the door behind him.
HHL: And War Games have just begun!
PIP: That’s right, Heather! Two competitors begin the match, and in two minute intervals another competitor will enter, and no pinfalls or submissions can be counted until the final entrant is in!
HHL: Thunder Knuckles, who is always a threat and making a return to the XWF tonight, will be seeing none other than the Television Champion to get us started!
TK and Dio approach each other slowly, circling one another. TK cracks his neck and puts his hands up! Dio puts his hands up! They begin to box! Dio throws a jab, but TK sidesteps it and skirts around Dio! Dio throws a body blow, but TK blocks it, and counters with a headbutt! Dio looks shocked as TK looks plainly at him. Dio goes to tie up, but is cracked with a jab as TK sidesteps! Dio just comes back and hits TK with a back elbow! Dio spins, throwing a huge clothesline as he does, but TK ducks it and hits Dio with an uppercut! TK with a double leg takedown! TK holds the legs, grapevining around Dio’s waist with Dio’s feet right near TK’s head. Dio is locked in the ring, motionless, as he tries to push TK off of him, both men rolling around the ring!
HHL: HELSINKI LEG LOCK FROM TK!
PIP: Big whoop! That doesn’t hurt, it just keeps you from doing anything, both of them!
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
Team Wishmonger’s cage opens! Unknown Soldier lets a bloodlust scream fly as the crowd go nuts!
HHL: Unknown Soldier is historically one of the greatest wrestlers the XWF has ever seen!
Soldier gets into the cage and immediately puts a boot to TK! Another boot to TK, and TK has to release the Helsinki leg lock from Dionysus! Dio pulls himself to his feet quickly, and Soldier brings TK to his! Unknown Soldier whips TK at Dio! Dio with a back body drop on TK, sending TK crashing into the second ring! Unknown Soldier points to Dio, and runs, and Dio with a back body drop to his own partner, sending Unknown Soldier soaring into the next ring and coming down on TK with a splash! TK rolls out of the way! TK scrambles to his feet and puts his back to a cage wall, facing down both men, Dio in ring one, Soldier in ring two with him! TK runs, leaping over Soldier, and slingshots over the top rope into the other ring with a cross body block to Dio! Dio catches him, and plants TK with a spinebuster! Soldier back to his feet and climbs into the first ring with both other men! Both men lay boots into TK!
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
T.E.A.M.’s cage opens, and “Mad Dog” Mark Wright is out of the gate! He looks wild as he gets into the ring, and throws a big right hand to Soldier! A big right hand to Dio! A big right to Soldier, sending him into the corner! Mad Dog with another big right to Dio, sending him to a corner! Mad Dog checks on TK, and helps him to his feet! TK goes to the corner with Soldier and delivers a body blow as MD rushes at Dio! Dio rises up and catches MD with a goozle, and follows with a chokeslam! TK lands some clubbing forearms to Soldier!
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
Wishmonger’s team door opens, and Dolly Waters runs down to the ring to help her team! TK hoists Soldier to the top rope, and climbs, but Dolly climbs up the cage beside him and throws a side kick to TK! Another side kick to TK! Soldier gets his wits back and pulls TK so he’s standing on the top ropes of the adjacent rings! Dolly climbs the cage in a flash, and leaps, catching TK with a diving neckbreaker from the top of the cage into ring two! Soldier climbs down and rushes to aide Dio in delivering a beat down onto MD! Dolly holds TK in a headlock, cutting off circulation to the brain!
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
T.E.A.M.’s team door opens! Jenny Myst runs out and down into the ring, and rushes Soldier with a huge dropkick, sending him crashing into the cage wall! She spins and kicks Dio right in the groin! She helps MD up, and they nod at one another, they had a plan! Myst pivots and Dio puts his hands on her hips, and with a leap MD holds Myst up, as she does a handstand posted on MD’s shoulders!
HHL: Mark Wright was a proud member of the Mountaineers Cheerleading Team!
PIP: Yeah, he said he wanted to hang out with, I quote, “chicks” and that’s why he didn’t join the football team!
Myst falls into the second ring and onto Dolly, catching her with a headscissors takedown! MD pivots and goes at Dio!
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
Wishmonger’s door opens the final time. Corey Smith rushes the ring!
HHL: The last member of Wishmonger has gotten into the ring!
PIP: Right! And that means there’s only one member of…
I’m not reading all that. One member of T.E.A.M. left!
Dio pushes MD off, and Smith hits a switchblade onto MD! Corey rushes the ropes splitting the two rings, and leaps, springboarding off the top rope, and crashes into TK, Dolly, and Jenny! Corey has Jenny on the mat, and he’s laying in punches in bunches! TK and Dolly are near the side of the cage! TK goes to slam Dolly’s head into the cage, but Dolly puts a foot up, stopping the attempt! She mashes TK’s head into the cage! Soldier has picks up MD and he and Dio hold him in a corner, getting shots in!
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
The lights go dark. The fans start to scream. When the come back up, perched atop the cage itself is Doctor Louis D’Ville. He grins into the ring.
Hello, my friend!
Doc flies, taking out Corey with a huge clothesline! The bell rings, and the match is officially underway! Soldier with a roll-up on MD!
1…
2…
MD kicks out! Dionysus lands a kick to MD, but Jenny is there with the save! She looks at MD with a smile, waves, then back at Dio! Jenny throws a right at Dio! A left from Jenny! MD is to his feet, and Soldier throws a back chop at him! MD with the Wright Way outta nowhere! MD covers Soldier!
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: UNKNOWN SOLDIER
TK continues to brawl with Dolly! Corey rushes at Jenny, peeling her off of Dio! MD looks at Dio! Dio throws a huge clothesline, but MD ducks it and lifts for a back drop suplex! As he does, Doc has climbed the top rope in the center of the two rings, and he leaps with an elbow drop as MD brings down the suplex onto Dio! Doc lifts the near lifeless Dio to his feet, and then hoists him high into a vertical suplex position! Dio’s boots are well higher than the top of the open cage surrounding both rings!
LOBOTOMY!
HHL: The Television Champion just took the most dangerous maneuver in XWF history!
Doc steps away and gestures towards MD with a smile. MD looks back in awe, and pins Dio.
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: DIONYSUS
HHL: And like that, Mark Wright has pinned the Television Champion, and T.E.A.M. is in a good position, it’s four on two!
PIP: Those aren’t just any two, Heather, one’s a Hall of Famer, and the other is a future Hall of Famer!
Doc relaxes in the corner, watching the carnage with sadistic glee. MD climbs into ring two along with Jenny! TK slams Dolly! Jenny has Corey in the corner, And she throws a big back chop onto Corey! MD climbs to the top rope, and he wants to GO MAD! MD soars looking to land his huge flying headbutt onto Dolly! Dolly rolls away at the last minute, and MD headbutts the mat! Dolly up, and she hooks Jenny with a sneak roll-up as Corey intercepts TK!
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: JENNY MYST
Jenny looks shocked! Dolly looks back at Jenny, pointing at her own head, and winks. Jenny smiles and nods.
HHL: What, uh, what are these two up to?
PIP: I don’t know, Heather, something strange is going on with those two!
Doc looks at this happening and is disappointed. He climbs into the next ring and clubs Dolly in the back with a huge forearm, sending her to the mat. Corey rushes and grabs Doc, and plants him with a German suplex! Corey back up, and TK rushes at him, Corey with a hurricanrana! Corey looks at MD, still out from headbutting nothing! Corey brings MD to his knees!
EXTRA FACE PAIN DE-LUX!
Corey with a quick pin!
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: “MAD DOG” MARK WRIGHT
HHL: And like that, we’re even at two members left on each team!
PIP: We can count!
Doc hits Corey with a clothesline, putting him up against a cage wall! TK and Dolly are to their feet, and TK smashes Dolly’s head into the cage wall! Dolly smashes TK’s head into the wall! She whips TK into the ropes, and on the return does a drop toe hold to TK, sending him headfirst into steel! Doc holds Corey’s head to the cage wall, raking his face with the steel mesh, but Corey throws a back elbow to Doc, backing him off. Corey with a rear kick between Doc’s legs! Doc is doubled over, and backs further away! With that, the lights go out in the arena again!
When they come back up, outside of the cage, on the entrance ramp, we see Doctor Louis D’Ville engaged in an all out brawl with Bobby Bourbon!
HHL: What the hell is this!
PIP: Even Doc is baffled!
Doc looks up the ramp at himself fighting Bobby Bourbon! The fans are screaming! The lights drop again, and when they come back up, the OTHER Doc and Bourbon are gone! Doc looks absolutely baffled, which is why he’s defenseless as Corey nails him with a Face Pain De-Lux! Dolly soars from the top of the cage!
SUPER DIVING ELBOW!
Dolly pins Doc!
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: DOCTOR LOUIS D’VILLE
Dolly leaps up in joy, and she and Corey turn to TK, who his bringing himself up to his feet.
HHL: TK is in a tough spot, his ace, Doctor Louis D’Ville is gone!
PIP: And TK’s been in the ring the longest too, someone throw in the towel!
TK knuckles up, raising both fists, showing he’s got one for each of his opponents. Dolly steps in gets a punch for her troubles! Corey ducks in and goes for a reverse waistlock, but TK rears back into the cage wall! Corey is splattered by the impact! TK runs at Dolly with a huge clothesline, and the he picks up her right foot!
THUNDER STRIKE!
TK pins Dolly!
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: DOLLY WATERS
HHL: I can’t believe it, Pip! TK just eliminated the rival captain with a…
PIP: With not just a, but THE foot DDT, nobody has mastered that maneuver like TK!
TK looks at Corey, and beckons for him to bring it. Corey looks at TK smugly. The fans are rabid for every minute. TK is shaking in the corner, feeding off the energy of the Tokyodome, ready to come to blows with Corey. Corey opens the fanny pack he’s been wearing the entire time and pulls out a wad of XBux. TK chills the fuck out. Corey holds up the wad of money, then points at the mat. TK nods. TK lies down. Corey kneels beside TK and places the wad of money on his chest, and the referee begins her count.
1…
2…
3.
WINNER: WISHMONGER
SURVIVOR(S): COREY SMITH
NED KAYE
MARK FLYNN
ISAIAH KING
CRASH RODRIGUEZ
- vs -
SIDNEY GREY
JAY OMEGA
CENTURION
VAGABOND
Coming from somewhere in the rafters of the Tokyodome, we see what looks like a massive robotic claw lowering! It points itself at the entrance stage, and a blue beam of light emanates from it, and G00D-B01 is teleported onto the stage through the marvel of engineering they’ve come to represent! Ned Kaye steps forward to go to the ring, but Crash Rodriguez backs him off, insisting he get to work as soon as possible. Mark Flynn and Isaiah King go into the team cage with Ned.
HHL: Crash Rodriquez, who is making his XWF debut tonight, will start things off for G00D-B01!
PIP: Well, young man, welcome to the XWF, let’s see if you can hang!
A Literal Gorilla steps out onto the entrance stage as Dance Monkey starts to play. It starts to dance, and out onto the stage we see several more gorillas, all dancing in step with A Literal Gorilla! Finally, a regal palanquin, carried by four more gorillas, emerges, and within the frame work we see Drunky Kong! Sidney Grey, Jay Omega, Centurion, and Vagabond all ride the litter together, which is placed on the stage floor!
HHL: The Lady King of the XWF leading her troops to war!
PIP: It looks like Centurion will be her first soldier as he’s headed into the ring to start things off!
Cent meets up with Crash in the middle of the ring. Cent offers his hand in a show of honor, dignity, and respect. Crash slaps Cent across the face! Both men tie up, and Cent sinks in an arm wrench! Crash flips through it, kicking Cent in the back of his leg, sending him down, each man still connected in a wrist hold on the other! Cent kips up, and still holding the wrist of Crash, goes for a Northern Lights Suplex! Crash flips through it, landing on his feet, and holding the wrist still! He springboards off the second rope and comes down with an arm drag sending Cent to the mat! Cent swiftly gets back up, pivoting on a knee, just as Crash does the same! The crowd is going wild! Both men stand, and Crash extends his hand to shake now! Cent shows dignity and accepts the shake! Crash with a boot to Cent’s gut! Total Loss onto Centurion!
5…
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3…
2…
1!
Drunky Kong’s door opens, and Jay Omega rushes the ring, confronting Crash!
HHL: Omega wasting no time tonight!
PIP: He better be wary, this Rodriguez kid might be worth more than the current contract he has!
Crash and Omega tie up, but no! Crash slips the tie up and shoots Omega into the ropes with an Irish Whip! Omega rebounds, and Crash leapfrogs Omega! Omega leaps at the cage and clings to it! Crash turns to see Omega bound, hitting Crash with a big cross body block! Omega rolls over and onto his feet as Crash sits up abruptly, only for Omega to throw a soccer kick at Crash! Crash ducks and kips up, as he does Omega runs at the ropes between the two rings, and springboards off the second rope back at Crash, connecting with a big flying neckbreaker!
5…
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1!
G00D-B01’s door opens, and Ned Kaye rushes the ring!
HHL: The Captain of G00D-B01 is on the warpath!
PIP: That’s the entrance ramp, Heather.
Ned charges at Omega, and hits a big spinning wheel kick! Omega spills into the second ring! Cent is back to his feet, and he rushes at Ned! Ned drops and holds the top rope, and Cent also spills into the second ring! Ned helps Crash to his feet in the first ring, and as he does, Both Omega and Cent are on theirs in the second! Omega and Cent tell Ned and Crash to bring it! Ned and Crash decline, telling Omega and Cent to come into their ring! Omega and Cent rush the ropes and dive over them, but are caught midair each with stereo hurricanranas from Ned and Crash! The fans can’t believe it!
HHL: Woah, these men have been practicing their anti-airs!
5…
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3…
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1!
The door for Drunky Kong opens, and Vagabond starts making his way to the ring! He doesn’t enter the door, instead scaling the cage! Once atop, he dives and crashes into Crash and Ned! Vagabond stays atop Ned as he starts laying in punches while holding Kaye in a headlock! Cent and Omega slowly get back to their feet and pick up Crash, tossing him into the other ring, then following suit! Vagabond is back to his feet and he raises Ned up to his, and cracks a vicious back chop to Ned’s chest, leaving a welt! Ned recoils into the ropes between the two rings, but Vagabond rushes in with a clothesline, sending him into the second ring! Cent starts to manhandle Ned while Omega works over Crash!
5…
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1!
G00D-B01’s cage opens and Isaiah King starts to make his way to the ring!
HHL: The damage has been done by the members of Drunky Kong, King has to do something here for his team mates!
PIP: Something violent, Heather!
King gets into the ring and sizes up Vagabond! Vagabond turns to him and steps to face him! King with a right jab, a right jab, a left body blow, and a right uppercut! Vagabond staggers into the cage wall and slumps! King into the second ring now, and he makes his way towards Omega, utilizing expert footwork. Left jab, left jab, right body blow, left body blow, right body blow, and a left hook from King! Omega staggers back into a corner, dazed! Cent grabs at King, King spins and lands a backhand to Cent’s jaw! Right body blow, right body blow, right body blow, left hook from King sends Cent to the mat!
5…
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3…
2…
1!
Drunky Kong’s cage opens for the last time, and Sidney Grey is on her way to the rings! She enters and helps Vagabond to his feet, and both of them enter the second ring! King makes his way, bobbing and weaving towards Sid, but she nails King with a Reality Check! King stumbles back into the cage, and Ned and Crash are on their feet and approach Sid and Vagabond! Crash with a side kick to Sid, but she catches the foot and does a dragon screw, which also sends Crash into the first ring! Vagabond with a hip toss to Ned, sending him into the first ring! Isaiah King is grabbed by Cent and Omega, and they both lift him up and carry him, dumping him into the first ring!
5…
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3…
2…
1!
G00D-B01’s last competitor, Mark Flynn, makes his way into the first ring along with the rest of his teammates. All of Drunky Kong is in the second ring! Drunky Kong is telling all of G00D-B01 to come into their ring! G00D-B01, in unison, decline! All of Drunky Kong shoot off of the opposite ropes and towards the first ring! They stop short at the ropes, though, remembering the last time! Sid points to her head, to show they’re smart! All of G00D-B01 rush in and leap, hitting simultaneous hurricanranas to all of Drunky Kong!
HHL: We saw the stereo ‘ranas earlier, Pip, but what would you call that?
PIP: Dolby Surround hurricanranas!
Flynn sets in a headlock on Sid! Ned is pounding away on Cent! Omega and King are brawling near the cage! Crash lifts Vagabond up to his feet and dumps him into the second ring! Crash rushes Omega and hits him with a dropkick! Crash runs at Cent and hits a dropkick! Crash then mounts the top rope where the two rings meet, and flies at Vagabond with a senton! Vagabond gets his knees up, and Crash is broken in half! Vagabond lifts Crash up, and rears back, looking to throw a superkick! Crash ducks, and he grabs Vagabond, and lifts him in the most ungodly position!
CRASH LANDING!
Crash pins Vagabond!
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: VAGABOND
HHL: Crash Rodriguez in his debut has scored a pinfall!
PIP: Welcome to the XWF!
Crash stands up looking ecstatic! He leaps up and pumps his fists in the air, but as he does, Cent sneaks up behind Crash and grabs him! Cent with a bridging German Suplex Pin!
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: CRASH RODRIGUEZ
Crash barely gets a shoulder up after the three count is called! Ned is brawling with Sid! Flynn flies into the second ring to go after Cent! Jay Omega has King in the corner, and he throws a back chop! King ducks and Omega slaps cage! Omega holds his hand in pain, and King turns Omega into the corner! Body blow from King! A stiff right from King! No! Omega blocks the punch. Omega with a head butt to King! Omega places King into the corner! Omega rears back, and hits a huge corner splash, following up and finishing Breathtaking with a Northern Lights Suplex, holding it for a pinfall!
1…
2…
Ned dives in and breaks up the pinfall! Flynn and Cent are going at it in the second ring! Sid rushes Ned, toppling him over! King is back to his feet, ever so slowly, as is Omega! Omega throws a shot at King! King blocks it, and leaps up at Omega!
GUILLOTINE OF DESTRUCTION!
King pins Omega!
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: JAY OMEGA
Sid is just barely late in breaking up the pin on Jay Omega! She tumbles onto Isaiah King, and starts pounding away at him! In the second ring Centurion is bringing Flynn to his feet! Cent with a forearm shot to Flynn! Flynn with a forearm shot to Cent! Cent with a shot to Flynn! Cent with another shot! Cent drops down and brings Flynn with him for an inside cradle pin!
1…
2…
Ned breaks up the pin attempt on Flynn! Flynn is enraged and glares at Centurion still on the mat beside him! Flynn!
FUJIWARA ARM BAR!
HHL: Flynn has the veteran in that vicious arm bar!
PIP: Flynn has been perfecting that hold for decades, these men are both veterans!
Cent reaches out to Sid, who is running to aide him! She’s cut off with a Superkick from Ned Kaye, sending her back into the first ring!
Cent struggles in the hold!
Cent taps out!
ELIMINATED: CENTURION
Sid backs herself into a corner.
HHL: Things aren’t looking good for the Lady King!
PIP: It’s a three on one advantage for G00D-B01!
Flynn and Ned each take to the top rope in the middle of the two rings, and Isaiah King stands and beckons for Sid to come to him!
HHL: It’s King on King action!
Sid whips King into the turnbuckle Ned is standing on, knocking him into the second ring! Flynn dives at Sid with a missile dropkick! Sid side steps it, and delivers a stomp to Flynn’s spine! King comes back at Sid, right jab, right jab, left body blow, and Sid dodges the uppercut at the end! Sid with a shot to King’s groin! Ned is back in the first ring and rushes Sid! Sid with a shot to Ned’s groin! Flynn is up and confronting Sid! Sid with a shot to Flynn’s groin! Sid approaches the downed Isaiah King, and grabs his left leg!
SID-KNEE LOCK!
King looks obviously in pain!
Ned and Flynn are down in agony from the shots to the groin!
King has to consider his career! King taps out!
ELIMINATED: ISAIAH KING
Sid looks pleased with herself as she stands up. She looks down at Flynn and claps sarcastically, mocking him! She turns to Ned, doing the same! Sid grabs Flynn’s leg!
SID-KNEE LOCK!
Flynn is caught in this terrible hold!
Sid wrenches back, cackling, trying to break Flynn’s knee!
Flynn tries to roll and reverse the hold!
Sid locks her hold in!
Ned breaks up the submission with a knee drop onto Sid! Flynn rolls away, holding his knee! Ned gets Sid up to her feet, and throws a forearm to her! Sid with a forearm to Ned! Ned throws a forearm back at Sid! Sid with a forearm to Ned! Ned with another forearm, but Sid blocks! Sid goes to dick kick city again! Ned catches her leg! Sid looks panicked, and Ned spins her! Ned hoists Sid up on his shoulders.
EGO DEATH!
Ned drops down for the cover!
1…
2…
3!
WINNER: G00D-B01
SURVIVOR(S): NED KAYE AND MARK FLYNN
ANGELICA VAUGHN
VITA VALENTEEN
RAION KIDO
MR. OZ
- vs -
SARAH LACKLAN
NOAH JACKSON
BOBBY BOURBON
LEXI GOLD
A bright pink thirty feet tall cat mech walks out onto the stage! Riding atop the mechanical beast we see Kitty Cat Kaiju! Angelica Vaughn, Vita Valenteen, Raion Kido, and Mr. Oz all ride it, wearing matching pink ring gear!
HHL: This is by far the most adorable entrance I have seen tonight!
PIP: Kitty Cat Kaiju is here!
The team disembarks the giant robotic cat! Kido starts to head down to the ring to start things off for his team!
A hole is torn in the roof of the Tokyodome! From outside, a massive spider the size of a bus creeps in, and attached to it in a special rolling harness, all of Túraner is riding into the ring! The spider crawls down the roof a way the entrance area, and uses a strand of web to attach itself to the ceiling! The massive spider lowers itself into the entrance area. Sarah Lacklan steps out of the rolling harness, followed by Noah Jackson, Bobby Bourbon, and Big D, all in matching black and red gear. Bobby doesn’t look at the rest of the team and immediately plods to the ring towards Raion Kido.
HHL: And straight away, Bobby Bourbon is ready to face Raion Kido here in the Tokyodome!
PIP: These men have no love lost for each other and that’s for certain!
Bobby gets into the ring and both men tie up! Kido gets a hammerlock onto Bobby, who throws a back elbow to Kido! Bobby reverses the hammerlock into a top wrist lock! Kido with a forearm to Bobby! Bobby with a forearm to Kido, still keeping the top wrist lock in! Kido counters the top wrist lock with an arm wrench! Bobby counters with a clothesline! Kido ducks the clothesline and lifts Bobby up for a back drop suplex! Bobby struggles back to the ground, and holds Kido still with a headlock. Kido lifts Bobby again for the back drop, but Bobby kicks off the cage wall and pivots into a cross body onto Kido, pancaking him! Bobby sets a chinlock onto Kido!
Suddenly, the arena goes dark.
When the lights come up, in the second ring, we see Doctor Louis D’Ville and ANOTHER Bobby Bourbon brawling!
HHL: Again? What in the absolute depths of hell is going on here?
Bobby releases the hold and backs away watching in bewilderment. Kido catches his breath and watches as well just as confused. The other Bobby takes Doc by the head and rams him into the cage, shaking the entire structure! Doc sneers, throwing an elbow into Bobby’s throat, then bashing Bobby’s head into the cage! The lights fall, and when they come back up, the other Bobby and Doc are gone! Bobby, ignoring Kido, stares in amazement at the other ring. Kido is up!
LIGHTNING BOLT!
Bobby is floored after the distraction.
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
The doors for Túraner open! Big D rushes the ring! Kido steps up to Big D throwing a leg kick, but Big D blocks it! Big D with a hard overhand right! Big D with another big overhand right! Big D grabs Kido and runs him into the steel of the cage wall! He holds onto Kido and rushes him to the other cage wall! Big D then lifts Kido onto his shoulder and does a charging powerslam onto Kido! Bobby has gotten to his feet, and he stomps on the downed Raion Kido! Big D looks on with some disdain!
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
The door to the Kitty Cat Kaiju roster slides open, and Mr. Oz steps out and is headed to the ring! Bobby turns to Ozzy and steps to him while Big D holds Kido in a headlock! Bobby goes for a clothesline, but Ozzy ducks and grabs Bobby with a rear waistlock! A huge German Suplex to Bobby Bourbon! Ozzy holds on! Another German to Bobby Bourbon, shaking the ring! A third German onto Bobby, and Big D is now in a hammerlock on the ground from Kido! A fourth German plants Bobby! A fifth one is thrown into the steel of the cage wall itself, but Oz holds on! Oz throws his sixth German, hurling Bobby into the second ring! Bobby is laying in a heap on the mat of the second ring!
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
The Túraner cage slides open, and Noah Jackson rushes the ring! The crowd all chant in unison!
PIP: Beloved? Túraner are a bunch of nasty rotten people!
HHL: Even Big D?
PIP:...
…especially Big D.
Noah gets into the ring and rushes Ozzy! Ozzy catches Noah by the throat! Noah kicks Ozzy in the groin!
HHL: There’s no disqualification in a War Games match, folks, those low blows are legal!
PIP: We noticed, they’ve happened every War Games match tonight!
Ozzy doubles over as Kido scrambles to his feet to confront Noah! Noah spits right in Kido’s eye, and Kido stops to rub his eye! Noah lets off a So Sick Kick to Ozzy! Kido stumbles into a corner, still disoriented! Kido backs off into the corner and starts raising his hands in the air, and the crowd in Tokyo start along with him!
*CUNT!*CUNT!*CUNT!*CUNT!*CUNT!*
Noah rushes at Kido and lands the C-Section! Kido crumples up onto the ground!
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
The next competitor from Kitty Cat Kaiju, Vita Valenteen, rushes the ring. She enters, and Noah Jackson stops dead in his tracks. Vita and Noah gaze into each other’s eyes.
HHL: Vita and Noah have quite a history together, Pip!
PIP: This is going to be ugly, Heather!
Vita nails Noah with a facebuster, putting him on the canvas! Big D approaches Vita, who throws a big right at her! Vita blocks it, holding the arm, then jumps and kicks off the cage, falling back with a huge arm drag sending Big D into the second ring! Ozzy has gotten his composure back, so he lifts Vita up into a gorilla press, and throws her at Bobby and Big D in the second ring, knocking them both flat! Ozzy peels Noah from the mat as Kido regains his composure!
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
The final entrant from Túraner, Sarah Lacklan, heads to the ring.
HHL: The captain has seen her crew at work, now she looks to finish off the job!
PIP: Right Heather, now that the opposition has been tenderized, Sarah Lacklan looks to sink her fangs into her opponents!
Sarah enters the ring and rushes straight for Ozzy, nailing his knee with a basement dropkick, sending Ozzy to a knee! She charges at Raion Kido, going for a Supergirl Punch! Kido ducks it, and grabs Sarah in a rear waist hold! Sarah breaks the hold, holding onto Kido’s right arm, and does a vicious arm breaker to Kido, sending him staggering into the corner and holding his right shoulder.
HHL: That right arm is how Raion Kido throws that Lightning Bolt!
PIP: Lacklan targeted it for a reason, Heather.
Lacklan rushes Ozzy and nails the Mark of Cain on the big man, sending him to the canvas. Lacklan turns and gets to the top turnbuckle of the ropes between the two rings, and points at Vita! Vita is slowly getting up after the collision with Bobby and Big D! Bobby and Big D are up, and they both have Vita, and they in tandem hoist her up to Lacklan! Lacklan bashes Vita’s head into the cage wall, then throws a vicious knee to her midsection! Lacklan bashes Vita’s head into the steel of the cage and Vita falls into the second ring! Big D puts a chinlock in place on her!
5…
4…
3…
2…
1!
The last member of Kitty Cat Kaiju, and it’s captain, Angelica Vaughn makes her way down to the ring! The referees signal that the match is now underway! She slides in and rushes to the ropes between the rings and dives, nailing Big D with a plancha into the second ring! She gets up and lands a basement dropkick onto Bobby! She stops and eyes her sister, and Sarah looks back at her, still perched atop the turnbuckle watching the action. Angie notices Noah standing up in the other ring, and hops into it! Noah and Angie pause, glancing at one another. Bobby gets into the second ring and rushes Angie! Ozzy is up and rushes Noah! Noah lands a Sick Kick onto Ozzy just as Angie plants a Sick Kick onto Bobby! Angie covers Bobby!
1…
2…
Lacklan from the top rope lands with a senton, crushing her sister and Bobby beneath her and breaking up the pinfall! Kido immediately swoops in and brawls with Lacklan! Angie and Noah glance at one another again, and Noah grins at her! He raises his hands to start a chant, but Angie plants Noah with a Sick Kick! Big D is back in the first ring, and he raises Ozzy to his feet, and in a massive feat of strength…
THE DAN SLAM!
Big D drops onto Ozzy with a pin!
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: MR. OZ
Angie breaks the pin up just a hair too late, but her aim is dead on…
VAUGHNEMOUS!
Big D crumples over, and Angie gets on top of him!
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: BIG D
Vaughn stands and rejoices her victory! As she does, Bobby and Vita brawl in the second ring! Lacklan delivers a knee to Kido’s head, leaving him on the mat as she stands! Angie pivots and stares at her sister!
HHL: Angie and Sarah have nobody standing between them now!
PIP: These aren’t just two opposing captains, Heather, they’re blood!
Lacklan and Angie slowly approach one another, and Lacklan throws a huge forearm! Angie retaliates with a forearm of her own! Noah is back to his feet, and he comes in and nails Angie with a forearm! Lacklan laughs and throws a forearm at Angie! Angie is getting bombarded! Angie takes another shot from Noah, and she backs into the cage! Lacklan with a Supergirl Punch, crushing Angie’s head against the wall! Lacklan sets in a hammerlock onto her own sister…
THE ABYSS!
Lacklan pins Angie!
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: ANGELICA VAUGHN
Lacklan stands up and smiles at her handiwork. As she does, from out of nowhere, Kido rushes Noah and delivers an overhead belly to belly suplex to him into the cage wall! Kido turns and throws a side kick to Lacklan! Lacklan catches the foot, and hits another Supergirl punch onto Kido! She goes for the pin!
1…
2…
The pin is broken up by Vita, leaping over the ropes between the two rings and onto Sarah! Bobby swifty follows suit and tackles Vita to the ground! Lacklan is slow to get up, as is Kido! Once both on a vertical base, Lacklan throws a right at Kido! Kido blocks it!
LIGHTNING BOLT!
Kido nails Lacklan with a Lightning Bolt, but the damage from the arm breaker has Kido holding his shoulder! He goes for a pinfall onto Lacklan!
1…
2…
Noah breaks up the pin with a boot to Kido! Kido rolls off, and as he does, Vita bashes Bobby’s head into the cage wall, and Bobby slumps to the ground. Vita turns and sees Lacklan, and climbs the cage! Lacklan slowly gets to her feet as Noah is still winded from the suplex into the cage! Lacklan stands, and looks up to Vita!
EAT DEFEAT!
Vita climbs on top of Lacklan!
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: SARAH LACKLAN
HHL: Both captains have been eliminated here tonight!
PIP: And we’re down to two on two action!
Vita stands and surveys the ring! Kido is up, and he’s lifting Noah Jackson to his feet! Kido with a side kick! Noah with a side kick! Kido throws another kick, but it’s blocked by Noah! Noah with a throat chop to Kido! Kido staggers into a corner! Vita rushes in, but Noah steps out of the way and Vita collides with Kido! Vita backs out of the corner, and Noah gives her a crotch chop! Noah springboards and throws the World’s Sickest Moonsault! Vita side steps it! Vita turns around and sees Bobby coming to his wits! She rushes at Bobby with a running high knee! Bobby catches her, and sets her in position on his shoulders!
BOBBYBOMB!
HHL: You know, I don’t know what was happening with Bobby and D’Ville earlier, but we were saying the Lobotomy is deadly, how about the Bobbybomb?
PIP: Either way, Heather, nobody wants to get hit by those manuevers!
Bobby drops onto Vita with a pin.
1…
2…
3!
ELIMINATED: VITA VALENTEEN
As Vita is eliminated, Lacklan, who is still lurking ringside, reaches under the ring! As she does, Dolly Waters and Jenny Myst run down to the ring!
HHL: Oh no, we knew these two were in cahoots!
PIP: But for what?
Dolly reaches into the ring and holds onto one of Kido’s ankles as Jenny holds the other. Lacklan pulls a bag out from under the ring, and pulls out a snake! She cajoles the snake for a bit, then holds it up to Kido’s right arm! The snake digs its fangs into Kido’s right arm! The referees are shouting, and they immediately ban Dolly, Jenny, and Lacklan from ringside, and the three of them skulk back up the entrance ramp! Lacklan mockingly rubs her right arm and pretending to cry as blood pours from the vicious wound left by the snake. Without hesitation, Bobby rushes in with a corner avalanche splash! Kido staggers out of the corner, and as he does, Noah is back to his feet! Noah with an eye rake to Kido, who is severely wounded! Bobby stoops and lifts Kido onto his shoulders as if for the Doomsday Device! Noah climbs the top rope and gets a double underhook onto Kido, who’s on Bobby’s shoulders! Then, with the assist of it happening from Bourbon’s shoulders…
DESTROY THE EVIDENCE!
Noah rolls Kido over, and gets the cover as Bobby looks on.
1…
2…
3!
WINNER: TÚRANER
SURVIVOR(S): NOAH JACKSON AND BOBBY BOURBON
"Chelsea" by STEFY hits and the fans cheer as Chelsea LeClair walks through the curtains, poised, confident and determined to make things happen in this match as she begins to walk down the aisle. She soaks in some cheers a bit as she gets to ringside and at this point, she's all business as she slides into the ring. Soaking things in a bit more, she climbs up the corner to the second rope with a smile, a fist raised in the air and a quick point to the crowd before she hops back down to the corner, leans against it and waits for the match to begin.
HGH storms down to the ring to a chorus of boos as he berates the fans.
EDWARD AND APE FRIENDS GO TO BIG RING. THEY WALK AND WAVE TO FANS. APE FRIENDS GIVE BANANAS TO FANS. EDWARD SHOW BICEPS AND GRUNT LOUD TO FANS. FANS MAKE LOUD NOISES AND EDWARD FEEL STRONG. EDWARD AND APE FRIENDS READY TO WIN FIGHT!
As each competitor readies themselves in the ring, inspecting the cage, staring at the loose Sabretooth tigers at ringside. Y'know, the usual. Brave officials unmuzzle the sabretooth tigers and secure the cage.
HHL: This is terrifyingly dangerous, right Pip? ... Pip?
A small scuffle is heard as Pip is launched from the booth and Gator sits down.
GATOR: Heather, be a lamb and kindly fuck off.
An audible sigh is heard as a headset drops.
BAMA: Woo doggy! Look at them cats, baby!
TODD: Yeah, they're uh, they're scary. How did we even get these?
GATOR: Todd, there's a caveman in the ring right now draw the lines, man.
BAMA: So what's the objective here, baby?
TODD: Well, to win you need to escape the cage and avoid getting mauled to death.
GATOR: ... For how long?
TODD: What?
GATOR: How long do they need to avoid getting fucked up? Like, if one of them runs up the ramp but one of the tigers chases them are they still in the match or?
TODD: I erm... Well, I suppose-OH hey the match is starting!
At the first ring of the bell, HGH is out of his and begins to immediately scale the wall!
GATOR: Smart move by HGH here, the Smackdown vs Raw '07 tactic!
HGH rushes the cage wall but EDWARD sprints forward and drags HGH down to the mat.
BAMA: That was a tactic for the whole year?
But HGH manages to drill EDWARD with a nasty back elbow into the bridge of his nose.
GATOR: No man, the video game.
But before HGH can capitalise; Chelsea LeClair joins the fight nailing HGH with a sprinting dropkick and sends him into the corner!
BAMA: The hell is a video game?
EDWARD roar banging his chest as he shoulder charges HGH in the corner and whips him out of the corner into the opposite but LeClair is right on top of the champ before he can build steam and nails him with a snap kick followed by a jawbreaker!
GATOR: Jesus Christ, why couldn't you survive one hit, Todd? Now we gotta deal with this.
LeClair steps over EDWARD and launches herself into the corner at HGH who just ducks and rolls in time and LeClair catches nothing but the cage wall, HGH hops onto the middle rope and spikes LeClair down to the canvas with an enziguri!
TODD: Guys, can we just focus on the match, please?
BAMA: No hard feelings, by the way, Todd baby.
LeClair reels on the mat as HGH stomps down on her watching as EDWARD gets back up and rushes HGH who tries to leapfrog over but EDWARD catches his leg in a football tackle and HGH takes a nasty spill. EDWARD pumps himself up as he deadlifts HGH up off the mat and gets him into a Gorilla Press before dropping him back down!
LeClair is back in the action and grabs at EDWARD's heel and trips the champ before vaulting over his leg and wishboning him. HGH steps up drunkenly and LeClair matches him with a kick to the gut before she runs the ropes and lands a stong kick into HGH's sternum and HGH back bumps holding his chest in pain.
EDWARD gets to his feet and feels his groin with a limp; LeClair lines up for a front kick but EDWARD catches her boot and and gets both hands around her leg spinning LeClair off her feet and sending her into the steel cage! EDWARD drops down placing a knee on Chelsea's spine and wrenches her arm back and is about to force her finger into his open maw but sees one of the sabretooth tigers clawing at the cage wall and tries to force Chelsea's fingers through the holes in the cage.
GATOR: Oh shit! Chelsea's about to get her hand chewed off!
LeClair forces her hand into a fist as she struggles in the hold and tries to force the champ off of her but luckily HGH comes in and blindsides EDWARD, grabbing a handful of hair and wrenching back before tearing at the eyes! EDWARD is throw from Chelsea who quickly gets away from the cage wall and steps up sending EDWARD back into HGH with a sharp boot and HGH catches a falling EDWARD catching him with a German Suplex!
Chelsea follows forward and as HGH rises, LeClair is on top of him dropping HGH on his dome with a Tornado DDT!
TODD: This is your moment, Chelsea! Get out of there!
Chelsea quickly scales the wall as the crowd get hype!
She manages to quickly and nimbly climb out onto the top of the cage but as she saddles the wall, she looks to the roaring crowd.
GATOR: Oh HA HA! I know what she's thinking!
TODD: W-what is she thinking! She's gonna win here!
LeClair stands atop the wall and looks down at EDWARD and HGH prone on the mat.
TODD: CHELSEA DON'T!
GATOR: DO IT! THIS IS YOUR MOMENT, GIRL!
BAMA: This ain't gonna end well, baby!
CHELSEA LECLAIR SAILS THROUGH THE AIR INTO A CORKSCREW MOONSAULT FROM ATOP THE CAGE!
AND HGH POPS UP OUT OF NOWHERE!!!
GATOR: INJECTION SHOT!!!
HGH CATCHES CHELSEA LECLAIR IN A CUTTER!
The crowd roar once again as HGH wipes his brow smiling as he looks down on Chelsea. HGH steps up and stumbles back with a laugh but not for long as EDWARD drives his whole weight into HGH!
TODD: MASSIVE SPEAR FROM EDWARD!!!
The two crash into the cage wall!
BAMA: Oh momma! They just brought the cage wall down!!!
And both men smash through and crash onto the outside on top of the fallen cage wall!!
It takes a second for both men to realise what happened and in a daze adrenaline takes over their bodies as they see the tigers descend upon them!
EDWARD stands and right hook a pouncing tiger!
"BAD KITTY!"
HGH, his body in pieces right now, wildly kicks at a tiger approaching him!
Chelsea stirs and she crawls herself forward to the open wall!
TODD: Chelsea could still win this thing! She can just sneak out!!!
EDWARD throws a tiger away but another latches onto his arm and begins to tear muscle away from bone as HGH lands a kick on the snout of one and tries to make it across the fallen cage wall into the crowd!
Chelsea is mere inches away from the edge of the ring, each crawl forward causing her to wince in agony.
GATOR: It's any man or woman's game here!
HGH gets to the barricade to escape but is dragged back as a tiger pounces onto his back and sinks his tusks into his shoulder! Officials begin to intervene not wanting a death on their hands and try to help out!
EDWARD is having trouble but pushes away one of the tigers and picks another up over his head!
BAMA: STONE AGE SLAM!!!
GATOR: TO A FUCKING SABRETOOTH!!!
And EDWARD stumbles back cradling his bitten arm and crashes to the outside; the tigers staring into his eyes, EDWARD stares back and...
THE TIGERS TURN AWAY!
FOCUSING THEIR ATTENTION ON HGH AND CHELSEA LECLAIR WHO ALMOST MADE IT OUT!
One of the officials calls for the bell to end this shitshow!
WINNER VIA ESCAPE AND STILL ANARCHY CHAMPION - EDWARD!!!
EDWARD's theme hits as staff and security force the tigers away and EDWARD receives his shinny!
War Games returns from commercial and suddenly the XWF Tron comes to life as the fed's little used theme begins playing over the sound system.
HHL: It's been ages since we've heard this song, I'm not sure what to make of it Pip.
Pip: Probably nothing good Heather.
It takes only a few seconds before XWF Owners Vinnie Lane and Theo Pryce emerge from the back to a raucous crowd. The two men descend the entry ramp, each on one side, slapping hands with the fans as they make their way to the ring. At one point Vinnie Lane stops to kiss a baby on top of the head. Why a baby is at an XWF Pay Per View way past their bed time is anyone's guess but who are we to complain?
"LOVER BOY" VINNIE LANE: What's up dude and dudettes it's ya boy the "Lover Boy" here with my sometimes friend, sometimes enemy and co owner Theo Pryce to make an announcement to beat all announcements. Do you think they are ready for this Theo?
THEO PRYCE: I'm not sure Vinnie. In fact, I'm not sure we're ready for this because what we have to say now is a first(we think) of it's kind. Something that no one else has ever dreamed of doing(again we think), let alone actually done. To tell you the truth, I think this announcement might be bigger than the two of us, you think we should bring him out?
HHL: Him? There's a third man?
"LOVER BOY" VINNIE LANE: You know what Theo I think that's an excellent idea. Let's do that. Hey you, mystery man, why don't you come on out here and join us for this HUGE announcement.
Suddenly from out of the back emerges a figure well known within the wrestling community as Osh Vaughan, owner of Intense International Wrestling, or IIW for short. The fans unsure how exactly to react give their guest a warm reception as he makes his way down the entry ramp and into the ring. Once in the ring Osh shakes hands with both Vinnie and Theo before taking up a spot to Vinnie's left.
THEO PRYCE: What do you think Osh? You wanna tell them or should we?
OSH VAUGHAN: This is your show, why don't you do it?
"LOVER BOY" VINNIE LANE: Alright then....Over the last few months the XWF has been in secret talks with IIW to co-host a two day event at the end of November and now that all the ink is dry on the contract we are here to officially announce that on November 26th and 27th of this year the XWF and our partners in this venture IIW will be co-hosting "COLLUSION" a two day Pay Per View Event. Every single person in the XWF and IIW Universe is not going to want to miss out on this potentially once in a life time event. More details will follow this announcement so be sure to pay attention to the official Twitter pages of both the XWF and IIW.
The XWF logo is replaced on the XWF tron with a graphic announcing the event as the fans go bananas over what has just been shared with them.
War Games heads to commercial as Vinnie Lane, Theo Pryce and Osh Vaughn stand in the center of the ring, their hands interlocked and their arms raised in unity.
"WISHMONGER"
COREY SMITH
- vs -
"GOOD BOI"
NED KAYE AND MARK FLYNN
- vs -
"TURANER"
NOAH JACKSON AND BOBBY BOURBON
HHL: Ladies and gentlemen… This is what it all boils down to! Two weeks of team-building! Of trust earned! Of alliances tested! Bonds thought temporary will be forged tonight that will last forever! And some lifelong friendships may be ENDED! Are you ready, Pip?!?
PIP: Hey, did we ever answer Cent’s question this week? What does the winner of WarGames win?
HHL: …Let’s… let’s go onto the match.
…
HHL: I practiced that speech, Pip. Dick move.
Twin explosions emit from either side of the ramp and the lights turn on in a swirling red and blue pattern that throb in sync with the beats of the song. Corey comes down the ramp, the jacket now flashing intermittent heart and lightning bolt patterns. On the 'Tron you see images of Corey/Lux pulling off fantastic moves, intercut with blur effects on Corey's face that obscure his features in an eerie way.
HHL: Out to the ring first is Corey Smith! The sole surviving member of Dolly Waters’ Wishmaster! He won WarGames 2021 with ALIAS! Can he do it again without Space Jesus?
PIP: Ridiculous question, Heather. Obviously, when Corey beat ALIAS last month at MayDay, he took all his powers, so of course he can do it. That’s just ‘ALIAS rules’, everyone knows that.
Corey gets on the ring apron, throwing his arms over the top rope as the jacket keeps flashing. He looks pumped as hell, and starts pointing out at the fans before rushing to the top rope, surveying the crowd from on high, before dropping down to the canvas and handing off his jacket. He paces the ring now, waiting for the match to begin as the music and lighting effects wind down.
PIP: Corey is the only team with one member left… Do you really think the wisest spot for him to start is dead-center of the ring?
HHL: For Corey, he wouldn’t be anywhere else…
Ned Kaye stands at the point where the spotlights merge to thunderous applause. He lifts his fist up in the air, awaiting the crowd to do the same…
Emerging from the black curtain behind Kaye… Mark Flynn! Wearing his custom bomber jacket… He spins around to reveal to the crowd… Along the back, it reads ‘GOOD GUY’.
HHL: …Possibly the unlikeliest duo ever forged by WarGames steel. Mark Flynn, a career villain-slash-asshole supposedly trying to turn over a new leaf… Alongside Ned Kaye, a good kid, frequently betrayed by old allies.
PIP: Everyone’s been asking, when is the shoe gonna drop?
HHL: True. Many critics have claimed that Flynn betraying Kaye is inevitable this WarGames.
PIP: And when it does, what is Flynn going to throw Ned through? Another electrical box? A dumpster? Perhaps a comically-sized loaf of white-bread to add insult to injury?
HHL: …I haven’t heard… THAT question discussed.
Kaye extends out a fist… Flynn looks at, first suspiciously… Then nods and bumps it.
The duo rush down to the ring, serenaded by blue hues that light up the ramp following their steps. The lights above the stadium darken in their blue color as Ned gets closer to the ring, little bits of ember adorning the X-Tron and ramp, orange breaking up the blue.
Corey does some quick numbers-game math (2 vs 1) and decides the best course of action is to pop under the bottom rope and give them the ring… for now.
HHL: Speaking of differences between Flynn and Kaye… two very different WarGames histories. Flynn was part of Corey’s winning team in 2021…
PIP: As an undrafted substitute for a partner he later maimed into career-ending injury.
HHL: And he claims to have gotten a WarGames ring for coaching last years’ winning squad of lovable underdogs, WarGames World Record Speed Run 100% Any%!
PIP: That or he just told North Korean War Criminal that some doors are pull doors, took credit for it, then pulled NK’s championship ring off his electrified carcass.
HHL: Regardless, Flynn claims to have been a part of the last two winning WarGames squads… And has every intention to three-peat! But this is Ned Kaye’s first trip to a WarGames final!
PIP: And if it’s anything like every other time Kaye gets a big opportunity to shine, he’ll fizzle.
Kaye leaps over the ropes into the ring before looking down, breathing the moment in, and pointing out at the crowd, ready to fight just with their energy alone. Flynn bends his knees, stretching his 43-year old limbs, like he’s gonna try to replicate Kaye’s aerial leap… Then just gently rolls himself under the bottom rope.
Jumping a bit from the adrenaline, Kaye makes his way to his corner as he prepares for the bell. Flynn has his sights set on Corey outside the ring, laser-focused on his opponent.
The lights in the arena go deep blue as smoke fills the air. Pink and silver laser lights cut through the smoke and it looks fucking rad.
Slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Bobby Bourbon. He looks out at the crowd in the arena, cold and stoic, surveying his surroundings.
He stops and raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Bobby climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops.
The crowd pop as Noah Jackson strolls lazily from the back and basks in the glow of sick cunt energy washing over him. He slowly puts his right foot forward… As Bourbon begins his deliberate plod down the ring… Jackson glides down the ramp on his heelies, rhythmically raising and lowering pointed fingers to the sky as the crowd chants.
"CUNT!"
"CUNT!"
"CUNT!"
HHL: This team, right here, is special. We’ve got Bobby Bourbon, the Holder of the XWF Record for Most WarGames eliminations!
PIP: Never won a WarGames final, though…
HHL: And his partner, Noah Jackson, who came within INCHES of scoring the title ‘King Cunt’ at March Madness. Son of Shawn Warstein, who, get this, is the All-TIME SECOND PLACE - Most WarGames eliminations in XWF History!
PIP: And also never won a WarGames final!
HHL: Bobby came close as close gets in 2021… He made it all the way to the Finals and had a dominant showing, but as the only solo member in the ring, the numbers game overcame him! The same could be said for Shawn Warstein in 2020. This year, Bourbon has a partner to lean-on… And Jackson has a WarGames legend to back him up!
After a very slow, deliberate roll so the commentary team could get all their fun facts out, Jackson’s heelies reach the apron where Jackson and Bourbon gracefully rolls under the bottom rope. They take the ramp-side corner, Jackson continuing his motions and then chants until his music is rudely cut off.
Corey Smith outside the ring, stretching out the bottom rope…
Kaye and Flynn in one corner, running through strategy before the bell rings…
Bourbon and Jackson in the opposite corner, riling up the crowd…
HHL: This is the first WarGames we’ve had a match to breakup the First-Round and the Finals… Do you think the Anarchy Title match gave the competitors a chance to talk much about gameplans going into this last leg of the race?
PIP: Jesus CHRIST, Heather! I’m out of cue cards to try and make your points look dumb! Can we just watch wrestling now?!?
The official signals to all surviving teams…
AND RINGS THE BELL!
HHL: Probably wise of Corey as the only one without a partner to stay out of the ri-
From outside, Corey springboards to the apron and missile-dropkicks Bourbon! Bourbon drops onto his front, cradling his neck…
HHL: …Well, that’s just not Corey’s style!
Corey scoops himself off the mat… Where his face meets Noah Jackson’s knee!
“GET OUTTA MY RING, YOU CUNT!”
Sure enough, Jackson hucks Smith through the ropes and outta the ring… Where Bourbon rolls under the bottom ropes, looking to deliver some immediate payback to Corey!
As the lightning-quick tries to scramble back on the defensive, Bourbon manages to stomp him a few times on the padded concrete outside, like he’s trying to stomp out a fire!
Jackson cackles at the scene outside…
…Until he realizes he’s alone in the ring… With Flynn and Kaye.
HHL: Not a great position for the Sick Cunt!
Flynn charges first… With a low baseball slide to Jackson’s ankle!
Jackson leaps… AND DOUBLE-STOMPS FLYNN IN THE FACE!
…But Flynn’s face isn’t great footing for further offense, leaving Jackson to catch a STEP-UP enzuigiri from Kaye! Jackson flops down to the mat… as Kaye crawls into a cover…
The official counts!
1!
2!
THR-NOOOOOOOO!
Amazingly, Jackson survives that knockout kick!
HHL: All five of these men have been through the ringer! Literally any manuever might lead to an elimination!
On the outside, Corey has gotten back to his feet… But eats a lumbering forearm to the back of the skull from Bobby Bourbon!
Bourbon delivers a siiiiiickening chop to Corey’s chest, driving him backwards into the metal railing… Bourbon looks to charge, possible cannonball through the rail!
…BUT COREY LEAPS ATOP THE RAIL! And catches the running Bourbon with a Leaping Knee to the face! Bourbon hits his back outside the ring and Corey catches his breath outside…
Meanwhile, Flynn and Kaye have gotten Jackson up and into a corner… Jackson does not look pleased to be there…
Kaye delivers a KNIFE-EDGE CHOP! A sickening slaaaaaaap reverberates through the crowd!
…Flynn shakes his head. He runs his finger along his wrist and shakes his head. He smacks the back of his hand… And nods!
HHL: Seems like Flynn is giving his teammate some notes on how to improve his chop technique.
Kaye irritatedly shrugs, like, okay, you do it. Flynn’s like, I will!
Flynn pushes Jackson back against the ropes once more… KNIFE-EDGE CHOP! The sound is DEAFENING!
Flynn grins to himself, gloating a bit… When Jackson, of all people, his chest already beet-red, puts up his hands and shakes his head… He points to his wrist, shakes his head. Points to the back of his hand, shakes his head… Then, he points to his forearm… He rapidly points to his forearm!
…Kaye is skeptical. Flynn sneers in clear disapproval.
Jackson insists. Flynn’s like fine. Jackson steps out of the corner and Flynn steps into it.
PIP: …What the Hell is going on here?
Jackson psyches himself up… Reels back…
KNIIIIIIIIIIFE-EDGE CHOP! Nearly loud enough to break the sound barrier!
Flynn nearly gets whiplash, reverberating back-and-forth in the ropes like a bungee cord!
Jackson bows toward Kaye, who delivers a polite golf clap, impressed.
Flynn, needing the ropes to stand, works his way up to his feet, applauding impressed. Jackson bows toward him…
…Until Flynn yells ‘GET BACK IN THAT CORNER!’ Jackson puts up his hands and acquiesces! For his trouble, Flynn delivers a cross-kick to Jackson’s chest that plants him against the turnbuckle!
Kaye and Flynn back-pedal toward the opposite turnbuckle. Flynn gets in the corner, prepared for an Irish Whip…
Kaye slingshots Flynn across the ring towards Jackson!
…But Jackson sidesteps the charging Flynn, and gets his arm on Flynn’s back to keep him going forward!
“GET OUTTA MY RING, YOU CUNT!” The crowd cries alongside Jackson… As Jackson hucks Flynn through the ropes near the turnbuckle… STRAIGHT INTO THE RECOVERING COREY SMITH! Flynn and Smith both hit the outside hard!
Kaye tries to keep the offensive momentum on Jackson with a rear-waistlock… But Jackson skillfully ducks through Kaye’s legs and takes him down by the ankle! Jackson converts it to an ankle lock, dead center of the ring!
As Kaye struggles… Flynn scrambles back to his feet, trying to re-enter the action… But, Corey grabs Flynn in a front facelock…
SNAP SUPLEX OUTSIDE! Flynn howls in pain as his body hits concrete with minimal cushioning!
Leaving Kaye without someone to break-up the ankle lock! His hand shakes…
Will he tap?!?!
HHL: Jackson is in prime position to score the first elimination of this final…
…
BUT NED CLENCHES HIS FIST…
On his elbows, he crawls… Closer and closer to the bottom ropes…
Jackson twists, trying to drive Ned to quit!
…Ned’s arm shaaaaaaaaaaaaaakes…
…
BUT NED GRABS THE ROPE!
HHL: Incredible will on display here by the Notorious one!
The official orders Jackson to break the hold! Jackson instead lifts Ned’s ankle, physically punishing Kaye for not tapping out!
…Meanwhile, outside the ring, Smith clambers back to his feet… Leaps to the apron and springboards over Jackson, looking for a sunset flip! He’s got Jackson by the legs!
…BUT Jackson keeps his footing, clining onto Kaye’s ankle to keep him forward…
Smith pulls from underneath with all he’s got… Jackson’s arms shake to keep his balance!
…GIVING KAYE A WINDOW TO KICK JACKSON IN THE FACE!
Jackson rolls backwards! Smith scores the sunset flip, locking his ankles over Jackson’s shoulders!
The official counts!
1!
2!
THRE-NOOOOOOOOOO! Somehow, some way, Jackson stays alive!
Smith rolls backwards into Kaye, whose back to his feet… Kaye secures for a rear waistlock… AND back suplexes Smith over the top rope!
… BUT the catlike Smith lands on his feet on the apron!
HHL: INCREDIBLE! COREY. SMITH. WILL. NOT. DIE.
…Kaye favoring that ankle, turns around. Smith waves with a smile.
Kaye dives to grapple Smith, but Smith ducks between the ropes, hitting Kaye with a shoulder to the ribs! Kaye doubles over… And Smith goes for the front facelock!
HHL: A suplex to the outside?!? Smith is looking to do a lot of damage quickly to his opponents!
Smith goes to liiiiiiiiiift… Kaye’s feet start to leave the ground!
But as they do, Bobby Bourbon kicks Smith in the leg from the outside… Smith winces, dropping Kaye back to his feet!
Kaye clings to the front facelock… As Jackson approaches…
PIP: The Sick Cunt may be looking to break this party up!
…And Jackson…
Also puts Corey in a front facelock!
HHL: No, looks like this party’s just getting started!
PIP: Looks like Corey’s offensive blitz strategy has made him a few enemies this final!
Kaye and Jackson LIIIIIIIIIIIIFT! Corey goes up!
TANDEM SUPLEX INSIDE THE RING!
Kaye hits the mat, stretching that weakened ankle… As Jackson scrambles to cover Smith!
The official drops to count!
1!
2!
THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Smith summons the will to force his shoulder off the mat!
…Meanwhile, outside the ring, Flynn scrambles to his feet woozily… Running into the chest… of Bobby Bourbon.
The crowd pops! Last months’ March Madness main event competitors! Already sharing the ring again!
…
Flynn exhaustedly puts up his dukes.
”Bobb-o… *wheeze*... Thought you said… you’d make sure… I’d keep the X-Treme Title…”
”I did.” Bourbon extends his arm.
…Flynn smiles with relief. He takes Bourbon by the ar-
BOURBON SCOOPS AND BIG-BOY TOSSES FLYNN TO THE PADDED CONCRETE!
Flynn’s face contorts in agony as Bourbon points down at him.
”Stay there. Don’t get pinned.”
Inside the ring… Jackson tries to keep the offensive pressure on Smith, looking for a powerbomb!
…But Smith lifts up, counters it into a back-body drop!
…Jackson tries to scramble back to his feet… But he’s exhausted… Corey’s in position!
HHL: We might be seeing a Face Pain De-Luxe right here!
Jackson turns around… Corey sizes him up…
WHEN FROM THE SIDE! A NED KAYE SUPERMAN PUNCH TO COREY’S TEMPLE!
Corey’s legs turn to jelly… But he can’t afford to wind up on his back… With what awareness he has left, he scrounges into the corner, resting against the turnbuckle…
HHL: Wise move by Corey! Can’t get pinned in the ropes!
PIP: One way to look at it! Another way is, he just made himself a sitting duck!
Ned looks at Noah… And gets on his hands and knees in front of Corey!
…Noah nods, hit the opposite corner… Runs! Leaps off Ned’s back! Poetry in motion to Corey Smith!
Smith takes the shot to the skull and drops facedown in the corner!
Jackson kips up! He points in the air! The “CUNT!” chants start…
But from the mat, Ned school-boys Jackson!
The official counts!
1!
2!
Jackson kicks out!
…
JUST AFTER THE THREE!
ELIMINATED: NOAH JACKSON
The crowd is in disbelief! Noah Jackson looks up two fingers at the official, but the official shakes his head and holds up three!
HHL: Unfathomable! Noah Jackson is out first…
After some ‘CUNT!’ chants and some arguing with the official, Jackson is eventually goaded outside the action.
Kaye’s distracted by Noah’s arguing, kicking and screaming… Which he means he doesn’t notice…
SHORYUKEN!
TO THE BACK OF THE SKULL, Bobby Bourbon catches Ned with a leaping uppercut, seemingly from out of nowhere!
Kaye falls flat on his back…
As Bourbon hooks the leg… The official counts!
Meanwhile, from outside the ring, Flynn crawls back inside…
1!
Flynn gets into gear…
2!
He dives…
THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
…
NO! At the last possible instant, Flynn breaks the cover!
HHL: Incredible wherewithal by Mark Flynn, keeping his partner in the match!
PIP: As he should do at all costs, Team G00DB01 has the numbers advantage now!
Bourbon scrambles back to his feet quicker than Kaye, whose still shaking off that hellacious uppercut, and Flynn who got slammed outside the ring, multiple times…
Bourbon opts for Kaye, scooping him between his legs, looking for a devastating Bobby-Bomb…
…Flynn pulls himself up by the ropes…
Bobby liiiiiiifts! He’s got Ned up on his shoulders!
…BUT FLYNN SPRINTS IN WITH A RUNNING DROPKICK STRAIGHT TO BOURBON’S BREADBASKET!
PIP: That’s his stomach! …I had to make an appointment with my doctor to learn that.
Like a chopped tree, tiiiiiiiiimber! Bourbon falls on his back! And Ned lands in a cover!
The official counts…
1!
2!
THR-NOOOOOOOOO! Bourbon shoves a shoulder off the mat!
The crowd starts up ‘Fun’ chants for Bourbon!
HHL: Incredible toughness on display by Bourbon here!
Kaye tries to scramble his feet… to finish off Bourbon! He tries to scoop Bourbon onto his shoulders for the Ego Death… (pretty difficult to do to a guy of Bourbon’s size…)
Ned tries to liiiiiiiiiiift… From the corner, Corey Smith rises back to his feet
LIIIIIIIIIFT! He’s done it! He’s got Bourbon in the ai-
FROM THE SIDE! PAIN-DE-LUXE TO NED KAYE!
Ned Kaye sputters like a tank outta gas, falling flat on his face… Bourbon collapses backwards to the ropes…
HHL: Corey might have a choice on who to eliminate here!
Corey tries to make it over Ned to eliminate the Notorious One…
But Mark Flynn grabs him by the wrist! WITH ALL HIS MIGHT, Flynn tries to force Corey to the mat for a Fujiwara Armbar!
HHL: OH NO! What a turn of events! From all the control in the world to deep in the grip of Mark Flynn’s signature submission!
Corey’s face contorts in anguish! He grits his teeth, doing whatever he can to stay on his feet, knowing that if he ends up on his face, he’s done for!
Flynn seems to have the same idea, using his foot to stomp out Smith’s leg, trying to weaken his stance!
But, somehow, Corey keeps his footing!
”JUST DIE ALREADY!”
Flynn reels back his foot! He kicks!
…But Corey sidesteps and rolls Flynn up! Schoolboy!
HHL: Corey could eliminate Flynn AND score the X-Treme Title!
1!
2!
THRE-NO! The pin is broken up by a shoulder-block from… BOBBY BOURBON!?!
PIP: INSANE! Bourbon saves a man on another team from elimination! And it’s the team with the numbers advantage! What kinda strategy is that from Bourbon!
HHL: Bourbon told Flynn he’d keep the belt on him at all costs! To what end, I have no idea, but clearly Bourbon is a man of his word!
Bourbon cranks his neck… Calling for Corey’s end!
HHL: Bobby once scored a major upset, beating Corey for the TV Title! He’s trying to replicate that magic right here and now!
Bourbon loads Corey up… Looking to liii-
WHEN NED HITS HIM IN THE FACE! NOTORIOUS KNEE!
Bobby gets knocked back into the ropes, already looking like he’s seeing stars…
Corey takes a step back… Winding up fooooooooooor…
EXTRA FACE PAIN DE-LUX!
Bourbon drops flat on his face!
Corey makes the cover!
1!
2!
THREE!
ELIMINATED: BOBBY BOURBON!
It takes two or three officials to roll Bourbon out of the ring, but by the time they get him to the side, he’s back on his feet and at the railing, high-fiving fans…
HHL: Another legendary WarGames performance by Bobby Bourbon! But, that’s all she wrote for Turaner!
PIP: It comes down to G00D-B01 and Wishmaster. If Corey wants another WarGames ring, he’s gonna have to win it alone.
HHL: But Flynn said himself in his promo… if anyone could, it might be Corey!
Corey tries to pick Ned up, to finish off the Notorious One…
But Flynn dives in with a THUNDEROUS HEADBUTT!
HHL: Oooooh, that one mighta knocked Corey to another planet…
Before Corey can recover… Flynn wraps his arms around Corey’s waist… LIFTS! NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!
The official counts!
1!
But Flynn backward-rolls, keeping his grip! He deadlifts Corey off the mat!
A SECOND NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! INCREDIBLE! And this time, Flynn holds the pin!
HHL: This could be it! For the win?!?!
1!
2!
THREEEEEE-NO! Corey shoves his shoulder off the mat! Smith kicks out so hard, Flynn loses his footing and winds up on his back!
…Flynn’s in disbelief, cradling his head as the official holds up two fingers.
Flynn leans over the exhausted Smith and shouts “STAY DOWN!”
PIP: Corey has gotta be the least favorite opponent of many XWF superstars! He’s virtually impossible to keep down!
HHL: But Flynn’s done it once at the Cannabis Cup! Can he do it again?!?
Flynn rips Corey off the ground! He’s got him in a frontfacelock!
HHL: Flynn’s calling for The End!
Flynn goes to li- SURPRISE THROAT PUNCH! Smith catches Flynn right in the jugular! Flynn’s larynx might’ve just became an innie!
PIP: You’d think he would’ve learned after Ned did that to him to wear neck protection!
Corey dives onto Flynn!
1!
2!
THR-ONCE MORE, NED KAYE BREAKS THE PIN WITH A RUNNING STOMP!
HHL: Frustrating. If Corey wants a chance to win here, he’s gotta find a way to cut this to one-on-one…
Corey and Ned, both looking like they’ve been through Hell, get woozily up to their feet…
NED throws a punch! IT CONNECTS!
Corey rolls with it… SPINNING BACKFIST! Knocks the taste out of Ned’s mouth…
…But somehow, neither of these men are willing to hit the ground!
Corey aims for a roundhouse kick… But Ned dodges! Corey spins in place, Ned wraps in a front facelock! Trooper’s Tribute! (Tornado DDT)!
Corey hits the mat…
Ned starts for a cover…
…
But he knows that won’t keep Corey down…
He circles the ring, calling for the Ego Death! Corey starts to get to his feet… clearly spent…
Ned gets Corey up on his shoulders! EGO DEA-
NO! Corey shifts his weight! Ned stumbles back into the corner and Corey crawls over the top rope to the apron…
Ned refuses to give Corey a recovery window, trying to wrap him in a front facelock to bring him back inside the ring…
BUT COREY STUN GUNS NED’S THROAT ACROSS THE TOP ROPE! Ned covers his throat as Corey stands on the apron outside…
PIP: Perhaps a little recovery time for all parti-
Suddenly, Corey springboards to the top rope and delivers a SOMERSAULT JAWBREAKER TO THE NOTORIOUS ONE! COREY SPECIAL NUMBER FOUR!
HHL: Perhaps not!
Corey scrambles ontop of Ned! The official goes to count!
1!
Flynn is crawling from the corner…
2!
He dives to break up the pin!
…
BUT HE COMES UP SHORT!
THREE!
ELIMINATED: NED KAYE!
Ned Kaye, after an incredible performance, is out! The crowd starts up a ‘Notorious’ chant, as Ned rolls under the bottom rope!
HHL: And then? There were two.
…Flynn and Corey, exhaustedly scurry to their feet…
The crowd is on its feet for an incredible finale…
HHL: Two former WarGames teammates! Two former WarGames champions!
PIP: It all comes down to this! This is WARGAMES!
Flynn charges in… But Corey catches him with a spinning kick to the gut, doubling Flynn over!
Corey tries to secure Flynn in a neckbreaker… But Flynn breaks out of his grip, and hooks him for a backslide!
Flynn gets on his knees… But Corey rolls up and over, staying on his feet, and delivers a double-booted dropkick to Flynn!
Flynn rolls backwards into the ropes, rebounding off them, and falling on his face!
Corey sizes up Flynn… This could be it…
HHL: Corey could win this right here, right now! With The EXTRA FACE PAIN DE-LUX!
…Flynn, on his hands and knees, lifts up his head!
Corey swings for the fences!
…BUT FLYNN DUCKS!
Corey winds up kicking so hard, he loses his stance! Giving Flynn his back!
Flynn kicks out Corey’s ankle! Guillotine position!
HHL: At this point, you have to ask the big questions… can it be done?!? Can Corey Smith be beaten?!? And i-
PIP: …Is Bobby Bourbon still at ringside?
Indeed, Bobby Bourbon has stayed at ringside, signing autographs, kissing babies and the like… When he turns toward the ring. He reaches under the apron… And retrieves…
A wrench!
HHL: The same wrench Flynn used to beat down RoboGravy last Warfare!
Bourbon slides the wrench under the bottom rope!
PIP: Is Bourbon trying to get Flynn disqualified!
HHL: No, Pip! Flynn is X-Treme champion! Any match he competes in is X-Treme Rules! Flynn can’t get disqualified!
PIP: Oh! So, it’s not cheating to hit Corey with a wrench right now?
HHL: No, it just sort of goes against the spirit of teamwork and camarad-
PIP: KNOCK HIS LIGHTS OUT, FLYNN!
Flynn slides across the ring for the wrench, grinning fiendishly… Corey tries to scramble to his feet, but that Logical Conclusion clearly left him worse for wear…
Flynn scoops up the wrench…
…And outside the ring, he sees Ned on the padding outside the ring. Beaten down. Exhausted.
…With what little strength he has left, Kaye shakes his head.
PIP: What’s his problem?
HHL: Flynn told Ned he wants to be a good guy… If that’s what he wants, he can’t keep taking short cuts and ‘bending rules’.
PIP: It’s not even rule-bending in this instance! As the X-Treme champion, weapons are *technically* allowed every time he competes!
HHL: But, it’s not in the spirit of the competition, Pip!
PIP: That doesn’t matter to a guy like Flynn!
…
Flynn looks at Ned.
Looks at Corey.
Looks at the wrench.
…
…
”..Guuuuuuuuuuh-ODDDDDDAMMIT!” Flynn howls!
He drops the wrench and kicks it back under the bottom rope! He’s going forward without it!
Flynn leans over the top rope to Kaye ”Fuckin’... NED! FINE!” Ned grins weakly, delivering a thumbs-up!
Flynn turns around, exasperated… As Corey whips…
A FACE PAIN DELUXE!
Flynn whips into the ropes!
PIP: Huh. Well. Lot of build-up for nothing.
Corey crawls into a cover! Hooking the leg!
1!
2!
THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
…
……
BUT FLYNN’S FOOT IS ON THE ROPES!
Corey scrambles up, thinking he’s won the match because the official’s hand hit thrice… But the official crosses his arm! No pin!
HHL: Flynn might be abstaining from cheating, but he still might have the best ring awareness in the business!
The official finally gets Corey’s attention long enough to spin Corey around… Where Flynn’s foot clings under the bottom rope!
It’s Corey’s turn to be frustrated now… He grabs Flynn by the top of the skull… And pulls him off the mat… Dragging Flynn to the center of the ring!
He locks in the Front-Facelock… And draws his thumb across his throat!
HHL: Oh my God… I think Corey’s going for Flynn’s The End! The same move that put Corey down at the Cannabis Cup!
Corey goes to lift… BUT, RUNNING ON PURE ADRENALINE, FLYNN WRAPS COREY’S ARM IN A LOCK!
HE DRAGS HIM FACE-FIRST TO THE MAT!
AND DEAD-CENTER OF THE RING!
FUJIWARA ARMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
HHL: OH MY GOD! No-Man’s Land for Corey Smith!
Corey screams in agony and Flynn applies greater and greater torque to Smith’s shoulder blade!
Smith tries to stretch his free arm… But he’s too far from the ropes!
Flynn sinks his weight into the mat! Using his body to hold Corey in place!
THIS IS UNBEARABLE!
…
Corey…
COREY!
…
COREY PASSES OUT!
THE OFFICIAL CALLS FOR THE BELL!
THE WINNER AND SOLE SURVIVOR: MARK FLYNN
AND THE WINNER OF WAR GAMES 2023…
HHL: A truly once-in-a-lifetime performance! In one of the most star-studded WarGames in XWF, Mark Flynn is the sole survivor!
PIP: Ned Kaye’s draft gamble paid-off! Who woulda thunk it?
Mark Flynn pumps his fists in the air, riding the electricity in his ve3ins! Ned Kaye slides back into the ring and lifts Flynn’s arm himself!
…Flynn looks over puzzled at Kaye…
Then, curiously, returns the favor! The crowd cheers them both!
Isaiah King and the debuting Crash Rodriguez run down the ramp! The winning team celebrates together, before taking a bow before the thunderous applause of the XWF Universe!
PC: I usually hate this mushy crap, but tonight? This was impressive. An incredible victory. An incredible team showing. An incredible WarGames.
HHL: No argument here, Pip. Well that's all the time we have for tonight folks. Have a great night XWF Universe!!!
HUGE thanks to Bobby Bourbon for writing all 3 opening round War Games matches . Thank you to Atticus Gold and Peter Principle for writing the remaining matches as well as Jonathan Barrows and Liam Desmond for the tough task of judging the War Games matches.
We truly truly could not have had this awesome PPV without their help and of course all you amazing role players out there. Without you none of this would be possible and to top it all off...A 100% turnout which I think is a first for War Games!!!!
Bobby is seated backstage in a very crowded room with medics. Several XWF personalities and stars are seen, you recognize a few, especially that one you were like "oh, they're still around"? It was Big D. You were surprised he was still around. Bobby takes a long slow breath.
Win some, lose some, huh?
Mark, I'm a man of my word. Don't squander my word.
As for something else...
Bobby scans the room, looking for someone.
Doc, what the fuck did you do?
I need a damned off brand Acetaminophen. Does anyone have an off brand Acetaminophen? I don't want to name drop Tylenol, I don't have a sponsorship with big pharma yet.
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