“The SAGA is now gone… but it damned certain did not fail. I know I did not fail!”

Though Raion Kido had retained the Universal Title, his life appeared to have been shaken once more. Jason Cashe had tapped out in the Tag Team Titles match and left the XWF, and the SAGA itself was unraveling. Moreover, Ned Kaye had picked Isaiah King before him, and Raion had instead been drafted into Angelica Vaughn’s Kitty KAIJUS.

“Oh well, can’t always dwell in the past. Now it’s time to make Ms. Angie Vaughn and the rest of the Kitty KAIJUS proud!”

And so it was, once the Lion looked up from his thoughts, that the team was gathered before him.

“Ah, greetings everyone! I hope you’ve had a nice trip to Japan!”

“Mr. Kido, sir! Great to see you again! I know this is obvs, totes gonna be great fun!”

The Captain of the Kitty KAIJUS looks especially excited, as a familiar spherical shape glowing in a nearby column hints at the nature of the place where they have gathered. The vampire hero is still taking all the sights in, but Mr. Oz is quite formal, if somewhat grave, when he next speaks.

"Angie, Raion, Vita. My pleasure to be here with you today. It is my hope that after this, you will join me and be a part of my… let us call it a collective.”

“Uh… sorry, sir, but I already worship Athena.”

Mr. Oz shakes his head slowly.

"You don't understand. It's not about worshiping anything, my brother. It's about unlocking your true potential. It's about showing the world that you are underestimated. You've reached the top of the mountain before, but by getting close to me, I can lead you back there. If you stay by my side, the world will realize what it's missing, the Light of the man known as Raion Kido.”

“... you do realize I am the Universal Champion, yes?”

But the puzzled Lion’s attention is soon caught by Vita Valenteen.

"Raion! Thank you very much for inviting me here! But now I’d like to know… where is “here”?”

Eyes bright, and now giving a big, toothy grin, the Lion points his teammates to the entrance of his chosen location - a theme park, by the looks of the vivid, flashy entrance, and the fire-spewing dragon-like creature statue just a few steps ahead.

“I figured we might do something fun while we’re here, so I picked a location I’m sure everyone will like. Welcome to Ikebukuro, and to the Sunshine City Pokémon Center!”

“OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH, I love it! I’m going to catch all the kitty Pokémon, OBVS! I’m going to make a Cat Pokémon Type Gym!”

"Pokémon…? Oh yes, Pokémon! I love Pikachu!”

“Oh, do you? He is obviously a very iconic Pokémon! Are you a fan of the show, Ms. Valenteen?”

If there is such a thing as flushing for a vampire, the young lady seems to be showing that, as her pale cheeks soon turn a very light shade of red.

"Well, I haven’t really seen much… but I’ve seen Pikachu and I think he’s really cute!”

“He is, Vita, but Persian is better! He’s cute and mysterious and distinguished!”

Mr. Oz, for his part, seems to be nonchalant about the Pokémon visit.

"I’d like to think that a Pokémon trainer brings out the best in the creatures in their care, and that’s exactly what I mean to do if you come with me, friends. I’ll help make you into the best you can possibly be.”

“That sounds TOTES interesting, Mr. Oz! We can do that sometime later!”

“Something sounds particularly strange about all that…”

But the Lion bites his tongue and beckons his teammates to follow, and soon they are inside the massive Pokémon center, looking at the thousands of merchandising to display. It isn’t long before Vita Valenteen grabs onto a plush Umbreon.

"Hey, what’s this!? I want one!”

“That, Ms. Valenteen, is Umbreon! Dark Pokémon, but not necessarily evil. Like Mr. Oz said, it all really depends on the trainer!”

Mr. Oz, for his part, grabs a Clefairy!

"Ah, there we go. Fairy Pokémon, you’re coming with me!”

The rest of the Kitty KAIJUS look at Oz in utter disbelief.

“Well that was unexpected!”

“A Fairy Pokémon? I TOTES love it, but I would have thought you would have gone for Psychic!”

"Or Dark…”

"Well, it’s my daughter’s favorite Pokémon!”

“... Suppose that does explain it…”

The team Captain is next, as she soon catches a Persian plush!

“Cat Pokémon, the next Type! It’s only a matter of time!”

And now it’s time for the Lion himself - and he wastes no time in going for a Raikou plush!

“And this is it for me. Raikou - Sacred Pokémon. Legendary Beast that wields the power of lightning! And with that, friends - we’re ready. We have our Pokémon and now we’re going to take the ultimate challenge. Follow me!”

Soon the Lion takes the team into a section with several closed pods, large enough for a human to fit in.

“These are videogame arcade pods. Many arcades in Japan have them, it’s just an immersive experience for games. So we’ll be getting in there and take the greatest Pokémon dungeon… Victory Road!”

Next, the Lion produces from his jacket a set of cards.

“And these are the cards the game will use to register our data - I had them specially made, and they’ll hereafter be official promotion Pokémon cards!”

The XWF Universal Champion then hands each of his teammates their respective card…

“For our Captain, the Fairy Type!”


“OBVS! TOTES AMAZEBALLZ, MR. KIDO!”

“For Ms. Valenteen, the Dark Type!”


"Hmph! Dark, but NOT EVIL!”

“For Mr. Oz, the Psychic Type!”


"Mind over matter, above all else…”

“And for me, of course… the Electric Type!”


With every member of the Kitty KAIJUS holding their respective card, Raion looks at his Captain.

“Ms. Angie, if you’ll do the honors.”

“TOTES! Let’s get in there, people! Let’s kick some Pokémon butt!”

Angie Vaughn leads the way, and soon all the team head into their respective pods…



“War Games comes again, and this time, I intend the Kitty KAIJUS and I to be the last team standing.”

Thus the Lion begins, a Pokéball clenched in his right hand.

“While last time I might have been the one on whom Jenny Myst pinned her hopes to reach victory, I know this time I am not alone, for there’s a team of talented and competent people at my side.

From Captain Angie Vaughn, to Vita Valenteen, to Mr. Oz., we shall demonstrate that not one of these teams can even begin to compare to the amount of talent we have when we show the Túraner to an early exit, just like I did their very Captain.”

A roguish grin appears on Raion’s lips as he points his left finger at the camera. This was, once more, a must-see match at the very first Pay-Per-View round. And Raion would see to it that the Kitty KAIJUS, once more, came on the other end - even if that meant beating Sarah Lacklan and Bobby Bourbon together.

“So tell me, Mrs. Lacklan, what do you have for me? You stated the SAGA was a formless mixture, but the only thing you ever did to take it down was defeat an unmotivated Jason Cashe. Pity, after what he and I did to win the Tag Team Titles, but even that shall still remain in the XWF history books. When faced against the SAGA’s best talent, all you did was fail. One on one against Raion Kido, tag team against Raion Kido, and now, four on four against a team with your own sister… and Raion Kido.

Maybe now the World’s Greatest Life Coach can finally find it in herself to lead someone to actual improvement. Alas, just as it was on March Madness, you’ve run into the misfortune of facing not just one of the XWF’s best talent, but someone that has just proven to have fought the very top, and come out the winner. From your own mother-in-law to your teammate Bobby Bourbon, I’ve stood against them with gold on the line, and I have been victorious!

But as if that were not enough, Mrs. Sarah, we’ve run into an actual problem. Because it just so happens that my team last year was the runner-up, and I was the last man standing, and this year, I’m god damned certain not to let it stay at that. I may have put up too much hope in Jenny Myst last time, but at this edition of War Games, victory for the Kitty KAIJUS will be due not just to the Gold Saint of Leo, but to an entire formation of wrestlers who are not just talented as I am, but hungry as I am as well.

So make sure this time you know what it is you’re facing, Ms. Blood Princess, for this time you not only face the Lion. You face the very person whose coattails you rode back into this company, only to be knocked off by Raion Kido, and now you’re about to find out that your dear sister can do just as well, if not better, on her own than without the help of the World’s Greatest Life Coach - because all it takes to figure that out, is the heart of a Lion - and the strength of the cosmos, behind her.

And when the time comes to face, Ms. Lacklan, you shall find out what happens when the collective cosmos of the Kitty KAIJUS make you, and your team, burn to the god damned ground. ”

A thumbs down sign from the Lion, before he addresses his next foe.

“But of course, Mrs. Sarah Lacklan isn’t the only one I shall be getting the best of again, right Mr. Bourbon? We seem to be running into each other just as often as we do with your Captain, and the result tends to be just the same. How far away is March Madness 2022 now, eh? Not only have I proven to be the best the immediate next Pay-Per-View, I’ve also done it right before challenging the one that took the Universal Title from you, and I’ve defended it, one-on-one, against you. So, Mr. Bastard Bro, what’s it going to be next? Last time you were chafing at having been picked to a team that had no hope, while I took it upon myself to be the trump card for the Meat Clowns because there was no one left.

But again, how things have changed since last year, right? There’s a twice Tag Team Champion as my Captain, and a Television, Tag Team and Xtreme Champion, and a multiple Xtreme Champion at my side - and this time, with the very Universal Champion to stand by them, the Kitty KAIJUS shall be the force that takes this competition whole!

Because see, Bourbon, unlike what you seem to show, I’ve never been out for myself. Not in the SAGA, and not for this team. While you may be as brash as to warn your own Captain to stay out of your way, I at least treat Ms. Angie Vaughn with the respect she deserves for having chosen me out of everyone else she could have. Especially so because we have faced each other in the past, and I know that one day she may beat me.

But you? You’re coming to the Túraner like you’re the one that chose Ms. Lacklan, even though it was the other way around. And I know full well that Ms. Angie will be facing her own sister as the Captains of opposing teams - and it’s because of that very reason that I plan on giving her the victory. Because at the end of it all, Ms. Sarah Lacklan, the Best Life Coach Ever, has been reduced to a parasite - and you, Mr. Bourbon, despite the image consultant you’ve hired, despite the Brotherhood of Bros. publicity stunt, despite all your claims about fighting for the people, you are just.

Like.

Her."

All pretense of smiling is now gone from the Lion’s face, now given way to unbridled fury - a fury that the Túraner would soon find out had no bounds.

“Let’s see, who’s next? Mr. Noah Jackson, the certified sick c-word whose only noteworthy feature is the use of that word ad-infinitum like this was 2011 all over again, and Game of Thrones was at its peak. I’m sure it felt reinvigorating coming back to March Madness to take it all only to fall to Sidney Grey, eh? Not only did you fail to take the crown, you also failed to take Isaiah King’s Television Title!

So tell me, Mr. Noah, what was that about dismantling me again? I recall you said as much when Peter Vaughn cheated to win over me, but let’s see what you dare say now. Maybe you’ll come up with a different four-letter word. Maybe Daddy will actually remember he had to come home, though considering you last said that to Isaiah King, and then you fizzled out like stale beer, maybe that’s a tall order for you.

But I’m going to give you the benefit of doubt and assume, despite all evidence to the contrary, that you still have the wherewithal, if anything else, to think that you can say anything to  hurt me. Just in case, Mr. Noah - all those teammates of yours? I’ve beaten. Every single one. Your Captain I’ve beaten twice. Her ace in the hole, I’ve beaten no less than three times. And at least once with those two, there was gold on the line.

Ms. Lexi Gold, I came out the winner when we faced, and I was Universal Champion back then as well. That leaves you, Mr. Noah, as the only one among all of you that has any possibility of telling me something I don’t already know, but newsflash - while you were slumming it up after March Madness, I’ve won four of the biggest fights of my entire career - and three of those matches were for gold.

So think what you shall say well and hard, Mr. Jackson, because your Daddy’s Home speech won’t cut it against someone who did more in two months that you have done in your entire XWF career. For at the end of it all, Mr. Certified Sick C-Word, what you are is a disappointment. A flash in the pan. The mere echo of what could once have been but never was, and by the looks of it, never will be. And a fading echo, Mr. Jackson, shall never stand against a Kitty KAIJU’s ROAR!”

The trademark roar now sounding through the Pokémon Center as if it were Entei itself, Raion holds the Pokéball in front of the camera before he addresses his last foe.

“And last but not least, we have Ms. Lexi Gold. Yet again we meet, and a pleasure it is to be facing you again, but this time, Ms. Snake Bearer, we’re facing each other in different circumstances, for once again I am trying to put something right - something that, alas, must go beyond you.

Because you see, Ms. Gold, I happened to be one of the last ones standing last year, and the North Korean War Criminal had to be the last. And I refuse to have something like that happen again! This time, I’m going to make up for last year’s failure by taking just that final step - and that is to take this Pay-Per-View whole. Not just for me, but for Ms. Angie Vaughn, Ms. Vita Valenteen, and Mr. Oz. Because there is no other way - and no one shall stand against us. Not the Túraner, not Ned Kaye or Isaiah King, and not you. SAGA as though we might have been, the time for that has come to an end - and you’ve been dealt the unfortunate hand of being in the first round against me once more.

But I know that you like to let your actions talk for you, so I shall not waste much of your time. I too believe in that, and my actions from our last match to now might show you just how much I meant it when I said I’d earn my way back to the top. I held this very title when we last faced, and I now hold it once again, after climbing back from the very bottom, and having the world pass me by.

And now that I’m here again, I’m going to make things right, before the time comes when I must lose. That is why I shall be the driving force behind the Kitty KAIJUS, and that means, Ms. Snake Bearer, that though I do not hold any ill will towards you, and I likely never shall, that your teammates and I are going to be sent flying from this tournament like Team Rocket at the end of every Pokémon episode.

So get ready, Ms. Gold, and brace yourself against a power you have already felt once. Try to withstand the force of the universe exploding in front of you, and then, when your time comes to fall, know that you have witnessed the very best that the XWF has to offer in the form of the Kitty KAIJUS.”

*SNAP!*

The Lion’s clenched fist hits is open palm, before he utters one final line.

“And then it shall be time for the other teams to prepare. Because for us Kitty KAIJUS, there lies only one road before us - Victory Road. We’re the Elite Four of this entire Pay-Per-View…

The Lion draws his right hand behind his head, and throws the Pokéball to the camera with all his might.

“... and we’re going to Catch You All!”

*POCK!*

Fade to black.