Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Lacklan · (03-15-2023)

The following promotional video is brought to you by IGADP Farm Tools

Are you some slobbering, feckless hick from Connecticut? Were you born in the same hay-filled barn that you were conceived in? Did the blood of some servant harlot make you do something totes weird like buy a freakin’ FARM in Texas?

It’s a ranch, Sar.

Po-tae-toe, po-tah-toe

And what did you mumble there for a second? You got totes quiet.

N-E-Ways! If this sounds like you, then you probs need more tools! And the very BEST tools are available through the I Gets All Da P-

THAT’S NOT WHAT IT’S CALLED AND YOU KNOW THAT

RANCH! Where all the ugly, smelly things like goats and chickens and whatever call for an ever increasing need for tools! And the NEWEST tool from-

((narrow-eyed glare))

-the STA Ranch is none other than this broken down hoe…

The Jolene!

That’s right, if YOU need a dumb, dirty, broken-down, straight-up HOE…with a bag attachment, because hoebag…then look NO FURTHER than Jolene the Hoe!

Get YOUR Jolene the Dumb Hoe TODAY! Use promo code #SuckItHoeBag for 20% off your first order. And remember:

🎶Jolene is a hoe!

A big, fat stanky hoe!🎶

Lacklan · **03-21-2023, 11:02 AM**

HIIIIII-iiiiiiii! This is Sarah Lacklan, Marketing Genius, Queen of Anarchy, Rule 63 Thanos, World's Greatest Life Coach, and one half of YOUR XWF Taggie Team Champions. And while I am writing out some strongly worded letters on robust Lacklanland parchment with one of my feathered pens dipped in ink made of only the finest acids...such as THIS letter RIGHT THERE-

((Furiously rustling paper))

-wherin I have some strong words...VERY STRONG, INDEED...for a certain Miss Myst, whom I have been, like, the BESTEST of friends with for the last couple of months, and, like, STILL she's all "Sar only cares about herself and her brand, Dolly, she doesn't really love you like a daughter" and blah blah blah and OH THESE WORDS ARE STRONG, JEN-JEN-

((heavy breathes and seething))

...my hand starts to cramp! And that's why I use the NEWEST and BESTEST product on the market:

Old Man Centurion's Joint Creme!

That's right, just one application of Zombie Centy's joint creme and the cramping starts to go away immediately. Just a dollop, smoosh it around all the knuckles and fingers, and boom! All the pain is gone and I'm right back into the EVER so STRONG words in my letter! So if YOU find yourself with joint pain or cramping fingers...probs like when Rubes has to spend, like, 2 hours working on getting Cent even halfway there...poor girl...then get yourself a bottle of Old Man Centurion's Joint Creme!

Use promo code #FuckThisBollux for 20% off your first order! And remember:

🎶I Wanna Raab!
I want to Raab!🎶

Lacklan · **03-21-2023, 11:05 AM**

The following promotional video is brought to you by Goth Drops

When I’m done making Murderhobos cry for years and years and YEARS online, in DMs, in hallways, and in their own homes while they abuse themselves to pictures taken from my wikifeet page, using their own tears for lubrication, regardless of how hardcore, badass, or extreme they want people to think they are…my throat starts to get scratchy! That’s when I use Goth Drops, THE best brand of lozenge there is!

*crackle crackle crackle*

*suck suck suck*

MMMMM! And so tasty, too! It really DOES taste like edge-lord self-loathing!

Get YOUR pack of Goth Drops Winter Fresh Lozenges today! Use promo code #SarahWinsLOL for 20% off your first purchase! And remember:

🎶Goth Drops are The Best!
Goth Drops Number One!🎶

Lacklan · (03-21-2023)

The following promotional video is brought to you by Goth Drops

Have you ever needed to erase a truly horrific sight from memory? Something like….oh, I don’t know…Tommy Wish and your Mumsie-in-Law having weird foot fetish sex on live television in an Anarchy ring?

Ew!

I certainly have!

Samesies

And that’s why I use the NEW Goth Eye Drops (with Sodium Hypochlorite)!

Hy-what to who, now??

Bleach, Sister. Like Roxy's hair. Just a couple of drops in my totes-NOT-rat eyes after I take off my cute as FLAME glasses-

Super flame!

-and the excruciatingly painful bleach washes away the sight of Mumsie Grey macking DOWN with Tommy.

All of our collective EW!

Get YOUR vial of Goth Eye Drops (with Sodium Hypochlorite) today! Use promo code #DocSucksInThadPromos for 20% off your first purchase! And remember:

🎶Goth Drops are The Best!
Goth Drops Number One!🎶

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Promotional Consideration paid for by the following
Author	Message