The Road So Far:

Peter Vaughn lied about being ‘exiled’ from OCW.

So, Peter Vaughn Was Gifted A XWF Universal Championship By Charlie Nickles.

Then, Peter Vaughn Ducked A Match With Charlie Nickles For 8 months.

Tell me…Who’s The Real Bastard Here?


……………………


Is this really all I have to do? Just stand here in this studio and talk into this microphone about my match for a couple minutes? There’s no big video package, no cool vignette, no nothing? Just a small audio package? Am I still getting my full pay for this half-assed effort?

…………..


But won’t people be expecting something a bit more….extravagant to promote a SuperContintenal Championship bout?

…..you’re telling me this format has become the standard for SuperContintenal matches? Jesus, Vaughn really puts the ‘con’ in that belt! I spose’ that’s Vinnie’s fault, for putting that belt on the con named Vaughn. But I guess it doesn’t take much to impress when you only defend against the likes of Ned Kaye and Calypso.

Ned Kaye.

And Calypso.

Two men that have no business even sniffing the farts of a SuperContinental champion, pushed Peter Con all the way to his limits. Imagine if his agent and manager hadn’t been in charge of Warfare for the whole summer….maybe Petey could have actually racked up some impressive ‘Ws’ if we had fair bookings. But hey, that’s just his karma ain’t it? The fix was in for Petey all summer, and now, there’s no fixing Petey’s failure to do anything that mattered this summer. 


Oh but wait…..Petey pinned Mac Bane!!!11!!!!!11!!!!!


Mac Bane….what a fucking dude, am I right? Or should I say- fucking dud. The bitch came in here all aboard the hype train but that shit went off the rails as soon as he fought some real XWF competition. Mac Bane got exposed for the scared little bitch he is, and that’s why you can’t find him in the XWF anymore. The little bitch simply got his ass beat black and blue, over and over again, until the tears swelled up and he tucked his fucking tail. The XWF was just too tough for him, and that’s a straight fucking fact. Nowadays you won’t find Mac Bane in the major leagues, you’ll just find that bum on Twitter- and maybe in the WGWF! I hear they accept pussies of all shapes and sizes over there!

Did Peter Con really mean what he said when he called that bitch a literal legend? Based on what? His minor league accomplishments, or his fluffy twitter bullshit? Because I know he can’t be a legend based on any-fucking-thing he’s done where it matters- here, in the XWF! I’m pretty sure Tommy Wish could beat Mac Bane- because at least Tommy has a personality, and a few female hostages to boot! What’s Mac Bane got? Just a permanent case of blue balls? Just Peter Con’s unexplained respect? Fuck that, I think Tommy beats Mac 9 times out of 10- and that’s only cause there’s always a 10% chance T-Wish gets DQed!

Peter Con’s championship reign is built on lies, fluff matches, and inner-circle elitism full-fucking-stop. Chris Page rigged the shows and gave his CCPE favorites bullshit matches over and over again, just so their lackluster stars could finally shine. How else can you explain back-to-back championship defenses against fucking Calypso?

You know, Calypso. The bald guy my losing streak demon crushed in under 30 seconds. The talentless scrub who went over to OCW right after me- and he’s still winless there. Calypso now loses multiman opening matches in OCW, after feuding with Peter Con for months. It’s obvious that Calypso was never established enough to seriously challenge Peter for the belt, but Chris Page kept booking that shit over and over again. Hmm…..wonder why? You shouldn’t have to think too hard on this one.

This is normally where I’d do something cool to accentuate my point, like flip off the camera or crush a beer can on my head….but you’re telling me I’m just supposed to keep going? Like I’m just giving a boring speech into the microphone? There’s no blocking, no choreography, no real impact- and this is on purpose? Are we just trying to keep the XWF’s promo production costs low?

Okay then……if that’s how management wants things done nowadays……

*ahem*

Like I was saying earlier...Peter Con is a straight up bitch-made dude, what more need be said? The man is a clear-as-day coward, running from me just like Main ran from Teekz. The Con was supposed to give me a shot at some gold back in February, to pay me back for hooking him up with the biggest win of his career. I pulled a couple strings and pushed a couple buttons and I put the Universal championship around Petey’s waist. All he had to do was hold up his end of the bargain and put some work in across from cha’ boy, but that two-faced con artist wouldn’t look me in the eyes for literal months!

Petey’s a pussy, a prick, and a piece of shit. I mean really, what more needs to be said?

Well shit, I’d say a lot fucking more needs to be said, because that two-faced Con artist only ever says his full piece over there! Should we pull out the receipts? Can we do that, Jimmy? Do you have the clips pulled up and ready to roll?

……Good, good….but wait….

Do we have the copyright permissions to air those clips on these airwaves?

……..

No?

……..

You think it’d be a bad look to show clips of Mark Flynn and Peter Con completely trashing the XWF on WGWF airwaves? But they fucking did it, Jimmy! Why would I get in trouble for simply showing everyone the truth?

……..

Who cares if Chris Page would sue? I hope those pussy WGWF bitches do sue me, because then Chris Page will finally have to stand in the same room as me, and I’ll fucking drop his ass then and there! Chris Page can’t fight me in the XWF, he can’t fight me in the WGWF, and he can’t fight me in a courtroom…these aren’t legal or contractual obligations, Petey’s boss is just a bitch-ass drama queen that doesn’t want this smoke!

But me….me? I want all the fucking smoke. I’m going to light CCPE, WGWF, Mark Flynn and Petey V up all at once- just so I can inhale their smoldering fumes. I’ve been in this industry for over 20 years, I’ve fought for more promotions than I can remember- some good, some shit-ass-poor- but not a single damn one of them was as great as the XWF. The X-treme Wrestling Federation is the pinnacle of our profession, it’s the land of the legends and the home of hardcore wrestling. There’s no stage bigger than Wednesday Night Warfare, and anyone who tells you different is a two-faced fucking liar.

And on that note…..Jimmy, roll the clips…..

……..

Wait, you’re saying you don’t want to show anyone the WGWF footage, because that den of snakes doesn’t deserve the oxygen?

God damn it Jimmy, you’re the worst fucking producer TK ever found for me. If all the people at home could just see that treacherous bullshit that goes on at WGWF with their own eyes, like I did, then they would know exactly what I mean when I say the champion’s day of reckoning is coming.

If the people at home had to suffer through the disrespect like I did, then the blood would boil in their veins like it does in mine. Mark Flynn and Peter Con have taken the XWF’s top gold over to Chris Page’s den of snakes, and they’re just burying the XWF every other time they touch the fucking mic. The XWF is ‘a cool place where legends once wrestled’, they said, ‘but the WGWF is where the legends live now’- some bullshit like that!

Fucking rats, fucking snakes, stupid sons of bitches that thought they could be outside the watchful gaze of The Nickleman, even if for only a moment. Peter Con will try to get interstate mileage out of my age, but on the WGWF airwaves Petey and Flynn can’t stop ‘praising the XWF legends carrying on the legacy in the WGWF’. To call that hypocrisy wouldn’t even scratch the surface; it’s turned into full-on sedition!

I have been a lot of places and I have done a lot of things…..but I’ve never taken the XWF championship belts and fucking BURIED THEM on live TV to please Chris Page! I’ve never gone outside the XWF and said another federation was superior, like Flynn and Petey Con do. Have done. Keep doing.

That shit….that shit….that fucking shit..

……….

No, Jimmy, I can’t do this….not like this.

Words alone won’t convey the depths of my rage.

I don’t care what the standard operating procedure is for SuperContintenal promos, turn the fucking cameras on. Peter Con needs to see this. He can watch this and learn how to cut a real fucking promo, one with a cameraman, props, and everything- like the XWF deserves!

What was once a blank screen suddenly goes fuzzy for a few seconds before the image becomes crystal clear. The one and only Nickleman is seen walking out of a recording studio with 3 OCW Championship belts on his body: one around each brawny arm and one around his chubby waist. Looking mighty pissed off, Charlie storms down a hallway as the camera frantically backpedals just to keep pace with him!

These motherfuckers must think we’re stupid. They think they can just hop on the airwaves and start running their mouths, disrespecting the place we call home? They thought the XWF faithful would just let that stand?

Did these dipshits really think -I- would let that stand?

The Nickleman sneers into the camera as pushes open a door into what appears to be an even longer hallway. The overhead lighting reflects off the gold plating on the 3 OCW belts being held by The Nickleman.

I don’t give a fuck what’s trending on Twitter, because the XWF will always be the #1 brand for professional death sports. If Petey Con wants to take whatever balls he has left and go fight in a different sandbox then whoopdeefuckingdoo- it wouldn’t be the first time he’s done that and claimed exile. But that motherfucker must be out of his god damned mind if he thinks I’m going to let him take our championship belts over there and make a mockery out of them! I spill my blood for this company every time I walk down the ramp, so he should know I won’t think twice about spilling someone else’s blood for this company!

The Nickleman storms through another doorway only to be greeted by a light breeze and the midday sun. The nearly perfect weather, however, doesn’t do anything to lift Charlie’s spirits. He looks more pissed than he’s ever been as he marches through a half-empty parking lot.

What is Peter Con without the XWF? Fucking nothing. What was Peter Con before the XWF? Fucking nothing. What’s his greatest success outside the XWF, huh? Some shitty fucking run in OCW?

Charlie sneers into the camera as he looks down at his own championship belts, spilling out of the parking lot and into a nearby ditch.

I’ve been in OCW for what…a month? Two? And what do I have to show for it….besides my body weight in championship gold and marquee wins over all their top talent? Does pussyboy Pete think his OCW run was impressive, noteworthy,worth-fucking-anything-to-anyone?

Well….

The Nickleman pauses amidst a patch of weeds. The 3 OCW championship belts kinda dangle off of him as they blow in the wind.

Why the fuck does the dumbass think that?

And…

What’s he think of my OCW run?

I walked into the OCW locker room, fucking blinked, and now I’m the top dog in that federation.

So why should I care about some little title run he had there? I know he didn’t have to do much to earn it….because it wasn’t inside the XWF, and I know for a fucking fact that this, my friends, is the major leagues of our sport.

Trust me, motherfuckers: I could walk into the WGWF locker room and do the exact same fucking thing I’m doing in OCW right now. Have you even seen the fucking cards over there? Buster Gloves is in the upcoming main event; Buster fucking Gloves. You know, like the guy who just got his ass beat at Relentless by the Fin fucking Kuhnt! THEY EVEN LET GUYS LIKE MAC FUCING BANE MAIN EVENT OVER THERE!

Trust me, Peter Con: I could walk over to WGWF and cockslap every pussy over there…but there’s just one thing stopping me. Chris Page told me I’m not allowed to compete there!


The Nickleman cackles to the camera before shaking his head from side-to-side in mocking disappointment. The belts on his body also swing from side to side as the Nickleman moves about.

Can you believe that? I beat so much CCPE ass over here in the XWF that now, Chris Page created an entire federation to be a SAFE SPACE FROM THE NICKLEMAN! Well hell…no wonder Mark Flynn started spending so much time over there after I beat him!

The Nickleman looks into the camera with a big smile that quickly fades into a scorned sneer. Charlie spits a loogie on the ground before he readjusting his championship belts and resuming his walk through the ditch.

I’m more impressive than Peter Con in OCW, I’m more impressive than Peter Con in XWF, shit, if I just changed a tire on a car I’d be a more impressive mechanic than Peter Con, too! I mean really, talk about a fucking con job. This dude beat Calypso twice, and now he thinks he’s some sort of hotshot fucking champion. Give me a break.

The Nickleman rolls his eyes at the champion’s audacity.

What kind of ‘hotshot champion’ doesn’t show up to over half of the shows? What kind of ‘hotshot champion’ can only find the nerve to wrestle once a month, at best, in the XWF? Petey Pussy wants to call me an ‘old man’, but he’s the one who can’t keep up with the XWF’s touring schedule! I guess all that time he spent in the minor leagues didn’t prepare him for shit, and it just left his body a fucking mess.

Charlie shakes his head with derision before he spots a really big stick on the ground. Charlie looks down at the stick, shrugs, and then picks it up before he carries on walking.

Petey Pussy’s body just can’t handle the rigor of the XWF, nor can his weak mind. He’s already taken so many hits from ‘topnotch talent’ like Calypso, Ned Kaye, and Mac Bane (lol), and now I guess his brain is scrambled up like a fried fucking egg. Apparently this cocksucker thinks ‘Charlie really started to struggle after Leap of Faith’….my fucking God, is Peter Con even trying to be taken seriously? How can this be the SuperCon Champ’s opening move? Does he pay attention to what happens on Wednesday nights, or is he just sleepwalking through every defense at this point? I think the Con is spending too much time watching the WGWF, and not enough time watching Warfare!

I mean seriously, does Peter watch any XWF content? Or does he just hear about it through the grapevine? Really....did that dumbass even watch my last promo? Does he even know all that shit I said about him, and Besty, and the exiles....was filmed back in February?

Because that's how long that piece of shit has been running from me! I had a fucking promo loaded up in the chamber against pussyboy Pete already, because me and the production crew filmed it back when Petey and I were first scheduled to compete!

IN FEBRUARY!

And he's ducked me every fucking day since!

Fucking aye, the King of BOB already has this prissy little queen in check- just off the moves I made months ago!

The Nickleman chuckled to himself as he held a tight grip on his wooden stick. The Nickleman, after having walked quite some ways, is now heading into a small clearing of trees. He holds the championship belts close to his chest as he ducks under a hefty branch along the way.

But sure, let’s say Petey Vee has a point, hell let's say he has a whole fucking toolbox of em'- just to keep things interesting!

So I'll let Petey tell the folks at home that I’ve struggled since Leap of Faith…

Now he needs explain why I’ve main evented twice as many Warfares as him since Leap of Faith!

And then….

He needs to explain to everyone how I won damn near all of them!

Does Peter Con not watch XWF Warfare- the #1 most critically acclaimed wrestling show on TV? Does he not see me headlining it week after week, winning big match after big match? I beat Mark Flynn right before Relentless and I beat Finn Kuhn right after Relentless- but let’s set those main events aside. Let’s just pretend they never happened, so we can make it seem like Peter Con actually has a chance in this match. Because truth be told it wouldn’t be fair of me to hold those wins over Petey’s head…he was too busy over in the WGWF to show up and compete for the top slot on those Warfares!

The Nickleman throws his head back in rage-filled laughter as he walks over towards a small hole in the ground between two trees.

Some Superconintel champion he is…more like a super fraudulent champion! Petey’s supposed to be THE MAN on Wednedsay nights, but the only thing he is on Wednesday nights is MISSING- or fighting that god-damned bum Calypso!

If Peter Con thinks I skipped out on War Games then he needs to look in the mirror and come to grips with his own piss-poor performance. Peter Con was drafted in the first round and he let his entire team down against a squad of guys led by Calypso and North Korean War Criminal- two names that I’ve slaughtered in an XWF ring...two names that you can’t even FIND in an XWF ring anymore! Peter Con fell like sacks of bricks against has-beens and never-will-bes.

But The Nickleman? I was KEPT out of War Games by force, by behind-the-scenes schemes, by powers way outside of my control! When Bobby Bourbon raised the flag, me and Teekz’ showed up to answer his call- but T-Hoe and his bitch-ass bouncers wouldn’t let us into the party. It is what it is, I’ll call a spade a spade- but Peter Con doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about on this one.

He better shut his fucking trap, or it’s going to be shut for him.

Sewn shut.

Now point the camera down there, Jimmy……

The camera pans down to the ground, past the Nickleman’s championship belts, allowing you to read their names. You can now see that Charlie is holding both of OCW’s tag-team championships as well as their Savage championship. After panning past the belts the camera settles upon a shot of the small hole in the dirt. Charlie starts pushing and prodding his stick in the hole, and suddenly something starts slithering.

Yeah…..here we are. I think we found the WGWF headquarters!

The Nickleman throws his head back in laughter as multiple snakes begin moving around on top of each other in the dirthole. The camera pans back out to show a wider shot of the wrestler, the snakes, and the belts.

’The Pride of the WGWF’ can pick his fancy little stipulation and stick it right up his ass. The fact of the matter is once I turn Petey’s body into a lifeless husk, I’ll be able to figure out the rest from there. I’ve been a champion too before, pussyboy, so I know all the tricks. I’ve picked damn near a thousand stipulations, but truthfully, if you a knock a bitch out it doesn’t really matter what the stip’ is. Cold bodies can’t win matches. Once I have Petey seizing up like Tua fucking Tutulaviola that belt is as good as mine!

The fact that you think you need some sort of ‘advantage’ against me kind of says it all, doesn’t it? You’re picking some ridiculous stipulation with the hopes that by playing to your strengths, you might just sneak through with a win. You dumb motherfucker. Don’t you know what The Nickleman does to people inside and outside that ring? You can put the belt above the ring, below the ring, you can even try to hide it inside Chris Page’s panty drawer- the straight up truth is that after I knock your bitch ass out the belt’s still coming home with me, it’s still coming home to BOB!

The Nickleman smirks to himself as a deranged look surfaces behind the eyes. He pulls out a lighter and holds it beneath one edge of his wooden stick before flicking the bic and letting the flames take hold. It takes a while, but sure enough the wooden stick slowly starts catching fire. The reflection from the flames shines brightly in the OCW championship gold.

Over in the WGWF Peter Con pinned the XWF universal champion in a sold-out stadium, in front of bought-off referees. Don’t color me impressed. If you see ‘CCPE’ on a promotion, you should know the fix is in. I wouldn’t put it past Chris Page to straight up rig a match, and it wouldn’t even have to be a fucking screwjob. It looks to me like CCPE stole a page out of Logan Paul’s playbook, and Mark Flynn was more than happy to play the part of the fall guy. Anything to make the XWF’s top belt look bad, eh?

They’re fucking snakes, all the way through. None of Peter Con’s wins over there will ever be on the ‘up and up’ so long as Chris Page has his thumb on the scales.

Finally the stick has been stricken with significant flame. As the camera slowly zooms in we see the stick descending into the snake pit in the ground. The Nickleman starts hitting the snakes with his firestick like he were churning butter, and within seconds we see snakes engulfed in flames trying to escape the pit they built- but The Nickleman will never let them.

He stomps on the heads of two burning snakes as they try to crawl out of their hole. He then drops the flaming stick to the ground, content with a job well done.

Next Wednesday night, one more snake will be added to the pile.

The Nickleman stares into the raging flames in the pit with a trancelike expression. As he stares into the burning remains of the snakes he can feel that very heat inside of his soul, pushing him on, keeping his fire going.

As Charlie gazes into this infernal abyss, he feels a newfound warmth embracing him. As Charlie feels the burning flames rise up in his soul, he can't help but smile. He's been chasing this moment for months and months, and now it is finally here. He is on the precipice of turning his dreams into reality, but if he fails, will any of it have been worth it? Charlie's smile slowly fades as he considers the question.







We suddenly transition back to a shot of Charlie Nickles, seated all alone, in a freezing cold shack. With his body wrapped beneath a dirty woolen blanket, The Nickleman rocks back and forth in the corner while he holds dearly onto a black and white photograph. The only light in the shack comes from the shining stars outside, whose illumination barely peeks through the cracked glass of the window panes. Why is Charlie left out in the cold? Where’s he going to go from here? It’s hard to say for sure, but as the camera zooms in you could swear that his lips are bluer than those on a smurf’s pussy.

Oh Connie….why can’t it just be me and you? Why did you find another? What is he…a mechanic? A janitor? A chiropractor? Connie, I may not be much but at least I am a professional wrestler….and don’t you think it should be a real professional wrestler who holds onto you at night, who gingerly tucks you into the bed?

The Nickleman talks tenderly to the photograph as he shakes and shivers from the freezing old. His frosty breath fills the room, and you could swear you see the outline of a broken heart in the air, forming from The Nickleman’s carbon exhalations…

You know I can do anything you ask me to do, I can be anywhere you ask me to be, whether you want to go out for a show or stay home and wrassle around in bed with me! I can keep you satisfied with my tongue and I know damn well I’ll be able to keep you on my waist, all I need from you is the chance to prove it!

The Nickeman shivered intensely before bringing his arms and legs in closer to his midsection to warm them, and therefore, bringing the black and white photograph even closer to his broken heart.

You remember how sweet and loving I was with Goldi, right Connie? I hope that didn’t make you jealous….I know her and I had a very public 300-some-odd days of lovemaking…but I hope you can just see her as an example of what we could be! Of what we could be greater than, together! If we could ever just find the right timing, and just make it work….

I know it won’t be easy. I know it will be hard. I know you haven’t  been around the block very much yet, I mean what is it….only 3 boyfriends ever? And one of them was only for what….a day? So I know you’re still fresh, baby, and nearly virgin.

That’s why I want you so bad…..

The Nickleman licks his frozen blue lips as he caresses the photograph with a shaking hand. His frosty air continues to fill up the room, and the carbon continues to form into somewhat identifiable patterns. A broken heart, a championship belt, and the face of a woman all swirl around in the chilly night air as Charlie keeps pushing deep exhalations out of his numbing chest.

I just hope this winter storm ends soon, Connie…I can’t wait to leave Canada. I can’t wait to see you again in Dallas. Winning all this championship gold in OCW was fun and all, but I want to get out of these blasted lands and head back to where the sun shines hotter!

The Nickleman opens up his woolen blanket to reveal to the photo that he has 3 OCW championship belts stuffed beneath the blanket with him…no wonder he’s so cold! The metal on those things has to be below freezing! The Nickleman quickly covers them back up to conserve heat.

Cause baby….you mean way more to me than any of these cheap tricks. You’re someone I could devote my life to…I mean fuck, didn’t I do that once before alerady my dearest Connie?

The Nickleman smiles sweetly as he lifts the photograph up to his lips and gingerly kisses it. After the kiss Charlie places the black and white photograph on the ground, allowing you to see that it is a poor quality print-out of the XWF Supercontinental Championship belt. After Charlie places the photo on the floor he brings both hands inside of his woolen blanket.

I wish I could hold onto your image forever, baby….but my hands are freezing! And so are my balls! We can solve all that with a 2fer….

You can’t tell for sure, but it definitely looks like The Nickleman is tucking his hands into his trousers beneath the blanket. As the cold winds continue to blow, The Nickleman closes his eyes and bites his lip. You see a slight up and down motion near the bottom of the blanket as The Nickleman begins, erm, warming himself up.

As Charlie tries to regain some warmth in the middle of this freezing shack, he thinks back to the first time ever ‘did the deed’ and got freaky with Connie Nichols. His eyes were closed at that moment, as well, but he remembers the way it sounded like it was just yesterday……





Just as Charlie nearly finishes warming himself, he hears a suspicious sound coming from the floorboards. He opens up a curious eye as he continues his motions, looking around with mild interest for the origin of the skittering noises. It sounds like the noise is getting closer, but Charlie doesn’t see anything….


HE SURE IT FEELS IT THOUGH!


MY FUCKING COCK!

The Nickleman screams in pain as he clutches his foreskin and bites down on his tongue. He opens his eyes up, frantically scanning for whatever just bit his cock. A large rats slides out from beneath the blanket, and it snatches the photo of the championship belt with its mouth!

Connie, no!

Charlie tries to reach out and grab the rat, but his groin is in so much pain he just collapses to the ground. The large rodent holds the photo in it’s mouth as it charges towards a small hole in the baseboards of the wall.

BABY, NO!

You fucking rat! Give her to me or I’ll skin you!

The Nickleman reaches out for the rat once more, but it’s too late- the disgusting creature has already slipped through the fourth wall of the shack, photo and all. Charlie climbs to his knees as he screams out in anguish.

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!

The camera zooms out continuously until we leave the shack altogether. Snow flurries around wildly as a storm clearly rages around the shack. That’s when we see, under the cover of the moonlight, one large rat scurrying across the frozen tundra. A few more seconds go by before the scene slowly fades to black. The last thing we see and hear is the opening of the rozen shack’s front door.