OOC: ANARCHY RULES is 1 RP with a 1K WORD LIMIT unless stated otherwise. Tag Team matches require one collab RP per team rather than two separate ones.
Hard deadline for Anarchy will be WEDNESDAY, 10-05-2022 at 11:59pm board time. Good luck!
Wait for it.
Silence.
Police sirens in the distance (Newark is real close by)
Then finally….
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!
There’s that pyro! Anarchy always brings the HEAT bay beeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Cambot drones whir and swoop all over Red Bull Arena, and we see a bunch of fans with their signs!
THAT GORILLA
GONNA KILL
NED KAYE
JASON CASHE’S
ABS OWN
TIKTOK
COME
BACK
KENZI
ANGIE VAUGHN
HAS BEEN IN THE LADIES ROOM
FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF
JESS! MARK FLYNN HAS
“THE”
ANSWER FOR YOUR CAREER!
Hey wait a minute, that last one is being held by Flynn! He got a ticket? Doesn’t he get to come to these shows for free if he wants???
The drones eventually find their way down to ringside, like they always do, even though one of them has apparently been spray painted and tagged by a local hoodlum. Friggin’ Jersey, man.
The drones find “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane and his colleague Bama T., along with the lovable Sassafras, sitting at ringside!
Vinnie Lane: "Wow dude, I think it's pretty telling where Slavino's loyalties lie!"
Bama: "Now don't go stirring the pot Lane! Obviously a freshly woken from the dead Franken-Fury is going to require more of Tommy's attention in her first match back, baby!"
Vinnie Lane: "We’ve got a great show for you here tonight… a bunch of debuts, like Dean Wolf, Erik Holland…!"
Bama: "FRANKEN-FURY! SHE’S HERE VINNIE! GET TO THE RING ALREADY!!!!"
HGH
- vs -
FRANKEN-FURY
HGH steps out from the back and is met with a chorus of boos. Noticeably absent is Tommy Slavino who is normally at HGH's side.
Vinnie Lane: "Wow dude, I think it's pretty telling where Slavino's loyalties lie!"
Bama: "Now don't go stirring the pot Lane! Obviously a freshly woken from the dead Franken-Fury is going to require more of Tommy's attention in her first match back, baby!"
HGH climbs into the ring. He looks irritated to high hell as he leans into his corner.
Vinnie Lane: "Hey, speaking of! You used to work with Jessica in BWO, right? Do you have any insight as to whether Tommy has actually brought her back to life or not?"
Bama: "Dang, baby, you're putting me on the spot! Listen, I couldn't tell ya one way or the other on THAT, but I can tell ya that you've been pronouncing his name wrong this whole time!"
Vinnie Lane: "It's not Sla-vino?"
Bama: "No, it's SLAVE-vino, baby, and he always lived up to it whenever it came to Jessica. I wouldn't put it past either of them to have planned this whole Frankenstein resurrection from before she died, baby!"
The lights darken!
Vinnie Lane: "Well, I guess we're about to find out the who, what, and why of Frank-Fury, because here she comes!"
That nasty FRANKENSTEIN cover rocks the place as the center stage parts and a lift containing FRANKEN-Fury rises from below!
Bama: "I can't believe that you signed off on all of these entrance effects, baby!"
And as the Wah-Wah's build towards that epic Edgar Winter riff...
Vinnie Lane: "Well, yeah dude. Apparently we HAVE to give her a good jolt before each match to get her going!"
FRANKEN-Fury stomps to the ring with a cautiously proud Tommy Slavino pulling up her rear, AND checking it out as she climbs into the ring and stomps about shouting!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Franken-Fury charges HGH in the corner, but he slips out of the way, leaving her to crash boob first into the turnbuckle! Franken-Fury doesn't relent, and springs out of the corner, lunging for HGH again, but HGH is much more nimble and easily slips her grib again!
Franken-Fury wildy swats at HGH and sends him flying across the ring on his back!
Vinnie Lane: "WOW! I guess it should be expected that Franken-Fury would be a little stiff in the ring."
Bama: "I don't know if you're talking about the stiff shot HGH just took, or the stiffness in her legs! If that's Miss Fury, something seems to have been lost in translation, baby!"
Fury rushes HGH, but he quickly rolls out of the ring and gets right up in Tommy's face demanding that Tommy get his monster under control.
Vinnie Lane: "The same could be said for Tommy's managerial skills, it would seem."
Franken-Fury reaches over the damned ropes and grabs herself a fistfull of HGH's hair! HGH's eyes widen as he grabs her wrist and flails his legs, she pulls him over the top and into the ring! Inside of the ring, HGH fights to his feet, and into an eye rake to the Franken-monster, causing her to release him! HGH quickly rushes for the ropes and fires back on the rebound with stiff dropkick! It sends Franken-Fury stumbling back into the ropes and over the top! Tommy rushes to her aid, but she swats him away like a fly!
Franken-Fury steps back up onto the apron, enraged!
Vinnie Lane: "I think things just went from bad to worse for HGH! All he seemed to do was anger her!"
Franken-Fury steps over the top rope, but HGH crashes into her with a stiff clothesline that sends the two of them over the top and out onto the floor!
Bama: "Don't write him off yet, baby! If that actually is Miss Fury, I think HGH might be about to knock off another former champion!"
Back to their feet, Franken-Fury charges HGH, but he stands his ground and catches her with a spinning spinebuster right into the steel steps!
Franken-Fury writhes in pain as Tommy Slavino tries to back HGH off and give Fury time to recover!
Vinnie Lane: "You have to wonder how the events tonight will play into HGH and Franken-Fury's dynamic when they tag against Jenny Myst and Elijah Martin next week on Savage!"
Bama: "You're assuming they're still together by then, baby!"
HGH shoves Tommy out of his way and mounts Franken-Fury on the steps, driving repeated closes fist into the base of her skull! Tommy tries to pull HGH off of her, and HGH shoves him away. He then starts yelling at Tommy that he wanted HGH to test his monster, and that's exactly what he's doing!
HGH turns his attention back to Franken-Fury, who is still laying wrecked across the stairs. He peels her up to her feet and shoves her under the bottom rope and into the ring. HGH barks at Tommy, telling him to keep out of it, before rolling into the ring behind her.
HGH stomps at Franken-Fury as a means of testing the waters before pulling her up to her feet and setting up for the Injection Shot, but Fury comes to life and breaks free of HGH!
Bama: "Oh, baby! HGH better get her back under control quick, or this could spell trouble!"
HGH grabs Fury from behind and locks in a Sleeper, but Franken-Fury slings him over her shoulder and to his back! She then stomps for his face, but HGH rolls out of the way just in the nick of time! Fury storms after him and HGH escapes to the outside! Fury steps over the ropes, but HGH is already halfway around the ring and slides in on the other side. Fury steps back into the ring, but HGH rocks her with a clothesline that staggers her, but doesn't take her off of her feet!
Vinnie Lane: "I'm really surprised at how one sided this has been so far!"
Bama: "HGH is usually the stronger athlete, Lane, but he's proving that he can also play a quick man's game, baby!"
INJECTION SHOT!
HGH hooks the leg!
Vinnie Lane: "This could be it, Bama!"
Tommy's ripping at his hair on the apron!
1!
2!!
Bama: "Tommy's losing his mind, baby!"
KICKOUT!!!
Vinnie Lane: "SHE'S ALIVE!!!"
HGH and Fury reach their feet at the same time. They pause and stare each other down before both rushing in head on! Fist are flying and neither man nor monster is willing to give an inch, but everyone has their limits, and this battle comes down to reanimated tissue versus juiced to the gills tissue (ALLEGEDLY!) and in the end, the juice wins out! HGH rocks Fury with a series of big hard winding right hands! He then hits the ropes and rushes in on the rebound!
JUDAS EFFECT!
Bama: "Holy Craparoni, baby!"
Vinnie Lane: "Franken-Fury connects with The Judas Effect!"
Bama: "Does that mean it's really her!"
Vinnie Lane: "I guess, maybe!?"
HGH is rocked solid and seeing stars, but Franken-Fury doesn't go for the pin and instead stomps around the ring yelling and growling at the lively crowd!
Vinnie Lane: "It seems now that the threat of HGH is neutralized, Franken-Fury is taking noticed of the fans here tonight, and she seems spooked!"
Tommy jumps up on the apron and tries to soothe the beast like Black Widow and Hulk. It seems to be working.
Bama: "Okay, baby! Miss Fury NEVER would have allowed that creep Tommy Slavino to pet her damn face like that! Trust me baby, I've seen him try a' plenty!"
Vinnie Lane: "..."
Suddenly, HGH shocks the arena with an Inside Cradle on the distracted monster!
1!
Tommy shits!
2!!
Vinnie Lane: "HGH could steal it!"
3!!!
Bama: "It ain't stealing, baby! It's capitalizing on your opportunity! HGH defeats Slavino's monster, baby!"
Winner by Pinfall - Harmon Grayson Hays
Franken-Fury freaks out as the crowd erupts, cheering HGH for his hard fought victory.
Vinnie Lane: "They were booing him at the start of this, Bama! This just goes to show that the XWF Universe is always appreciative of hard work!"
Franken-Fury storms out through the crowd, military pressing a panicked Tommy Slavino all the way while HGH celebrates his victory!
Bama: "Yeah, baby! That checks! HGH IS the hardest working man on the roster. How many former Anarchy champs has he knocked off now? When does HGH get his shot at the title, baby?"
Thankfully for Lane, Franken-Fury is causing a commotion in the crowd and attacking the fans, so he can ignore the question!
Vinnie Lane: "Oh crap! Franken-Fury is on a rampage! Uh! Think security can handle it!?"
Slavino is in a panic trying to calm his monster! Fans are flying every which way! That's when you notice that they all have something in common!
Vinnie Lane: "She's only attacking fans wearing Ruby merch, Bama!"
Bama: "That checks, baby! Maybe it IS her!"
Vinnie Lane: "Okay, I'm calling Tommy and his special security force in! We'll be right back, folks!"
DEAN WOLF
- vs -
LORD RAAB
Monster by Skillet plays over the sound system as Lord Raab comes out through the curtain wearing his green and black wrestling trousers with his nickname The Green Disease German Monster on the front of them with Monster Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands and wears a black and green mask and ignores the fans as he goes up the stairs before going in-between the ropes and crouches down in the corner moving backwards and forwards, rubbing his hands and moving his neck around while looking at his opponent with anger in his eyes while waiting for the match to start.
Dean Wolf marches down the aisle like Steve Austin. When he enters the ring, he walks to each side of the ring and hold his right arm in the air, exposing the tattoo on his forearm which reads "Seek the wolf in thyself."
DING! DING! DING!!!
After the bell had rung, we see Dean and Raab have a standoff, Dean extends his hand to Raab, but Raab swipes it away. Then both men do a collar and elbow, where Raab overpowers him to the mat. Dean got up again, and they do it again, but this time Dean Eye Rakes Raab, and he elbowed him in the jaw. Then he beams him off the ropes, and he hits him with a Gut Punch. Then he flicks the crowd off, and he Knee’s Raab in the face a couple of times. He then tries to Headlock Raab, but Raab managed to break the hold by slapping his shoulder blades, then he Forearm Smash Dean’s Back.
Raab then lifts up Dean by his tights and does another Forearm Smash to the back, then Raab tries to put him in a Sleeper Hold, but Dean Mule Kicks Raab in the Raab’s jewels and the ref reprimanded him for it, Dean then Eye Rakes Raab. He sends him to the corner, and he starts punching his face until Raab is on the mat, then Dean does some Mudhole Stomps in the corner for good measure.
Vinnie Lane: Man Dean Wolf is putting the beating to Lord Raab here tonight, I guess he got something to prove to these fans as a rookie.
Bama: Tell me about it! I feel sorry for what’s to come to Raab in this manner.
Dean then drags Raab from the corner, and attempts to do a Stretch Muffler on Raab’s left leg, but Raab manages to do a quick Small Package on Dean, but quickly kicks out of it and rolls outside of the ring. Raab then follows him outside, but Dean tries to do a series of Kicks on Raab’s midsection, but Raab caught one of his legs and Dean pleas for him not to hurt him, but he ends up giving Raab a Punch to the face. Deam then tries to Whip him to the barricades but Raab reverses it on Dean who goes to the barricades.
He lifts Dean in a Gorilla Press position and slams his ribs on the barricade, and he beats on his chest to the front row.
He then drags Dean back into the ring, and he picks him up, but does a stiff Low Blow on Raab. He then gives him a series of Knife Edge Chops on Raab, then he sends him to the ropes and Irish Whips him and he connects with a Spinebuster and covers Raab.
1!
2!!
RAAB KICKS OUT!
Vinnie Lane: Man, RAAB is such a monster who felt the need to kick out this man’s Spinebuster!
Bama: I mean, if I was in his boots i’d do the same thing.. It surely anit the Double HGH Spinebuster.
Dean then goes to the corner, and waits for Raab to get on his feet, once Raab was on his feet, Dean tries to hit Easy Pray on him, but Raab dodges the Knee, and he hits a European Uppercut on Dean out of nowhere. As Dean was stumbling, Raab kept punching him then he followed it up with a Suplex. Then he hits Dean with his Knees to his head, then he starts to choke him, until the ref counted to four. Then he does it again, then breaks it up, he then lifts up Dean and tries to Piledriver him on the mat, which connects.
Raab then lifts him up again, and he tries to do another Piledriver, but Dean barely manages to reverse it as Raab was laid out on the mat on his back. Then Dean stomps on his legs, and then he tries to do the Stretch Muffler on his left leg again, and he locks it in as he sat on the mat stretching his leg. Then Raab manages to reach for the middle rope, and Dean refuses to let go of the hold until the count of four from the ref. He breaks it up, and he lift up Raab on his back and he tries to go for a Dragon Suplex, but Raab breaks his hold and he goes behind Dean hits his own Everest German Suplex on Dean with a Bridge for the count.
1!
2!!
THR— DEAN KICKS OUT!!
As Raab was tending to his left knee, Dean crawled to the corner to slowly get himself back up to his feet. Then when he was on his feet, he came up to Raab and hit a Regal Cutter onto Raab. Then he pumps himself up as Raab was trying to get on his feet. Dean sizes up the monster Raab, then immediately hits THE KILL onto Raab, but both men are knocked out in the process.
Vinnie Lane: Wow, this match is crazy between Dean and Raab, both men are laid out… what’s gonna happen now!?!?!
Bama: Well, my guess is that one of these men will try to cover one another… or in this case try to get on their feet before the ref calls off this match.
Dean Wolf finally rolls over and drapes an arm over Raab, who still hasn't moved...
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Dean Wolf
Vinnie Lane: "What a fantastic debut for Dean Wolf!"
Bama: "DUN DUN!!!" Vinnie Lane: "Bodacious! The talent never stops coming to the XWF! We’ve got another superstar making their debut tonight!"
Bama: "Daggum, Vin! How the Hell the company gonna profit when you keep signing checks like they’re going outta style?"
Vinnie Lane: "I really like writing my own name, Bama! And what a debut this will be! An X-Treme Rules match! The ring is surrounded by weapons! Steel-chairs! Kendo sticks! Trash cans! And other foreign objects!"
Erik Holland
- vs -
“The” Jessica Anderson X-Treme-Rules
As video feed shifts on the ring, “The” Jessica Anderson is already in the ring, stretching her leg, trying to get loose.
Bama: "Do all the yoga, pilates, kama sutra you want, Jess! It ain’ gonna help much. She’s gone winless on Anarchy since she debuted in April."
Vinnie Lane: "I dunno, Bama! Jessica has been stringing a few wins together here and there on Madness with ‘Spoiled’ Summer Page! They almost won the Gemini titles. And like I always say, it just takes one good match to turn your luck around in the XWF!"
Bama: “I don’t know about all that hippie bullshit, Vin. All I kno-
*FIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ* Suddenly, we see rainbow bars on the screen.
A skull with spiky hair and a bloodshot bulging eye tells you ‘Technical Difficulties - Please Standby’.
Behind the image, we hear… a voice…
"Will you tell these fools I'm NOT CRAZY! Make them listen to me before it's too late!
...Listen to me. Please listen. If you don't, if you won't; if you fail to understand, then the same incredible terror that's menacing me will STRIKE AT YOU!"
Out of nowhere, Autonomous Combat System absolutely DETONATES over the loudspeaker, reducing the stage to a red-strobing mosh pit as Erik Holland shoves his way through the curtain, goggles shining in the inky red-ness, tugging at his hair, tugging at his beard as he staggers up and down the stage, imploring the raging crowd to cheer even louder; but at the same time almost looking like he's arguing with himself. Once the lyrics start, Erik ROARS and makes a beeline for the ring, pinballing off the fans to tag hands with them, let them slap his back, whatever it takes to whip the audience in attendance into a complete frenzy. Every now and then down the ramp he stops, turning around in a lazy circle, taking it all in before racing off again.
Jessica Anderson sees Holland racing and rolls outside, under the bottom rope, getting the hell outta dodge.
He dives under the ropes once he gets to ringside, crawling on his belly toward the hard camera. He pulls the lenses of the welding goggles off his eyes so we can see that demented gleam burning in those brown irises, then he mugs for the camera shouting indistinct threats--even chewing on the bottom rope--before he bursts to his feet and hits the opposite side ropes, THROWING his hands out and receiving flashbulbs in response. Holland whips his coat off, tossing it out into the first row and does the same with his goggles, staring out under that eye makeup and proud of how completely insane his fans are, before he settles into the corner, that eerie look of focus taking over. The lights finally come up.
While Holland admires his fans, Anderson grabs a kendo stick and tries to sneak back under the ropes…
Vinnie Lane: "Wow, Bama! That is how you make an entrance!"
Bama: “If this were competitive catwalking, I’d agree, Vin-man. But, now, Mister Holland’s gotta wrestle a goddamn match.”
As Holland stares out at the crowd, Anderson creeps behind him lifting the stick…
SHE SWINGS! IT CONNECTS WITH Holland’s BACK!
…He is… wholly unaffected. Holland slowly turns around, still grinning dementedly… At a now horrified Jessica Anderson.
DING! DING! DING!!!
And as the bell chimes, a gear shifts in Holland’s already off-kilter demeanor! He reels back his arm and SHWACK!
A knife-edge chop lands with a GUT-WRENCHING THUD!
Anderson is torn off her feet and flips backwards onto her front!
The entire crowd ooooooohs in amazement. Anderson holds her stomach like she’s about to lose her lunch from the sheer impact.
Bama: “HOLY HALLIBUT! Holland heaved his hammer heftwards, hatcheting his hapless harmer in half!”
Vinnie Lane: "Hella!"
Anderson is fucking trying to figure out how to un-collapse her lungs, wriggling like a fish outta water.
In one fell swoop, Holland grabs his opponent by the top of the skull, dragging her off her feet… Shoving her backwards into the ropes…
She bounds, rebounds towards Holland and…
He scoops her into the air… AND SLAMS HER INTO THE MAT! POPUP POWERBOMB!
Holland hovers over Anderson, pressing minimally.
Bama: “Goddamn, the official could count to a 100…”
Vinnie Lane: "I think three will do!"
The official counts…
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Erik Holland
Holland pops off the mat and his audience goes right back to freaking out and moshing. He hops up to the top turnbuckle as the crowd chants his name! Within a few seconds, he’s already sprinting up the ramp to hammer his fans with high-fives. He lifts his arms once more as he backs out the curtain.
Anderson looks… fuckin’ devastated in the center of the ring…
Vinnie Lane: "Radical debut from Erik Holland! One of the most dominant showings we’ve seen in a first appearance!"
Bama: “You ain’t kidding, Vin. That chop just about turned Anderson’s outsides into insides…”
As Holland’s music fades out… Jessica continues to lay center of the ring, cradling her chest, looking agonized.
Bama: “Tough to take an L like that. But, can’t imagine it gets much worse for Jess-”
Bama: “...Okay, I might have spoken too soon.”
Suddenly, bursting out from behind the curtain…
A red, white and blue title over his shoulder…
It’s…
IT’S MARK FLYNN! THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPION! Wearing sunglasses and a suit!
Vinnie Lane: "Whoa, dude! What is the Uni Champ doing on Anarchy?!?"
The entire screen gets wrapped in the blue background of an infomercial.
On the bottom of the screen, in scrolling yellow letters, it says:
Mark Flynn walks down the ramp, smiling… He’s reached onto a pocket and he’s pulled out… A headset mic…
Bama: “What the Hell do you think Flynn’s doing here, Lane?”
Vinnie Lane: "Well, it’s Mark Flynn. So I assume he wants to hear the sound of his own voice for a while…"
Flynn slides under the ring and wraps it around his head.
The official clears out of his way, rolling under the bottom rope. Jessica Anderson crawls, beaten to a bottom turnbuckle…
Flynn taps the headset twice… Smiling.
He gestures his hand toward the defeated Jessica Anderson.
“HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?”
The crowd murmurs perplexedly… Anderson stares up coldly… still shaky.
“EVER BEEN HUMILIATED? BEATEN WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE? MADE TO LOOK LIKE A DISGRACE AT THE ONLY THING YOU'VE EVER LOVED DOING?”
...
"THEN, YOU'RE EXACTLY THE PERSON FOR MY PRODUCT."
Flynn turns to the hard cam.
“Hi. My name is Mark Flynn. A Success Story™. Trademark.”
Vinnie Lane: "...Did he just say ‘Trademark’ out loud…?"
“And like each and every one of your losers from the dying town of HARRISON, NEW JERSEY…”
The crowd takes the cue to boo the Hell out of Flynn for disrespecting their city.
“I used to be challenged all the time. My DEAR friend, Theo Pryce. Lobbed onto me, hardship after hardship. SETBACK after SETBACK. LAUNCHING A MULTI-PRONGED ASSAULT AGAINST MY SENSE OF SELF. GASLIGHTING ME INTO THINKING I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. AGAIN AND AGAIN.”
Flynn’s eye twitches… Momentarily, he’s dropped the smiling salesman persona…
…
…
In a flash, Flynn’s grin is back.
“And I don’t blame him, ladies and germs! Because my FRIEND, Theo Pryce knew all along! That he was just pushing me to be even better! That it would take me to the mountaintop! That his paranoid QUEST to stop me from succeeding… Was, in fact, my greatest weapon! It led me onto the OPTIMAL PATH! THE SECRET TO SUCCESS!”
The crowd continues to boo… Although, maybe a little less? They like Theo… But… What’s happening here?
“You see. Jessica over here has been ruined tonight. None of her coworkers on Anarchy take her seriously. She just lost in TWO MOVES.”
Jessica is getting fed up, despite taking massive damage… She tugs herself up to one leg… And starts to limp toward the center of the ring.
“BUT!”
Anderson stops.
“BUT! Jessica! Don’t you see! That every hindrance! EVERY WOUND YOU TAKE ON! Is just waiting for you to turn it into fuel! Those that have it easy, those that are never challenged, are doomed to mediocrity! The man who eats every day will never be hungrier than the man left to starve in the cold, screaming woods! BUT, the starving man’s hunger? Will drive him to hunt. To fight. To feed AT ALL FUCKING COSTS.”
Bama: “Okay, am I having a fever dream? What the hell is going on?”
Vinnie Lane: "I think Flynn is trying to give Anderson a pep talk?"
Flynn jabs a finger into Anderson’s chest.
“It’s the hero’s journey! In order for one to rise, he must first be knocked down. YOU, Jessica, are starving for success. YOU, Jessica, have the tools to turn your lifetime of failure into success.”
Anderson… doesn’t mind this message. Flynn grins, as he rests a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“All you need now… Is a hole to dig yourself out of!”
WHIP! SLAM! In a flash, Flynn grabs Anderson’s arm and whips her to the mat face-first!
Vinnie Lane: "Oh, Groddy! Flynn’s locked in a Fujiwara Armbar!"
Anderson, shocked and agonized, immediately starts beating the mat to tap out!... But Flynn keeps cranking the arm, pressing it further and further!
Vinnie Lane: "Bogus! Flynn ambushed Anderson… And she already fought a full match"
Bama: “Well, apparently, Flynn thinks this’ll help her?”
…POP!
Anderson’s arm twists upwards. It goes limp… Anderson cradles her shoulder, kicking her feet, maimed and horrified.
Flynn twists himself back up to his feet, smiling wide. Half the crowd is too horrified to make the sound. The rest is booing as loud as they can to make up for it.
“DO NOT BOO! THIS IS A CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION!”
Flynn kneels over Anderson, who's cradling the shoulder Flynn just dislocated.
“JESSICA! HAS BEEN! REBORN! She’s taken her first step… onto the Optimal Path!”
…Suddenly, Flynn twists his neck to stare into the hard cam.
“And so can you!”
Flynn slides under the bottom rope, pumping his fist to the tune of the music. Pointing his finger and thumb into a phone, miming at fans to call now.
Medical staff rushes down the ramp to help ‘The’ Jessica Anderson.
Bama: “Welp, a rough night for Miss Anderson.”
Vinnie Lane: “Absolutely disgusted with Flynn tonight."
Bama: “If you believe Flynn, he says he succeeded because he was faced with adversity! Apparently, he’s trying to spread the wealth… Or rather, the famine.”
Vinnie Lane: “Flynn can justify his actions with whatever pretty words he wants. But the fact of the matter is, he ambushed a spent competitor and called it a kindness. What a MEGA-douche."
ELIJAH MARTIN
- vs -
"VENOM" XAVIER LUX
The lights on the entrance way go dark as "Blueprint 2" by Jay-Z begins... as the song reaches the 21-second mark and the beat drops, an explosion is heard and the stage lighting comes back up, revealing Elijah Martin standing at the top of the entrance way.
ANNOUNCER: "Introducing first, standing at 6'1' and weighing in at 240 pounds, from the Bronx... ELIJAH MARTIN!!!"
After about ten seconds of standing still to take in the crowd in the arena, Martin casually makes his way to the ring, yelling some random things at the crowd on the way. He walks around to the hard cam side of the ring and hops onto the apron towards the end of the first verse of the song.
When the song transitions into the chorus with the beat drop at the 1:25 mark, Martin raises both arms in the air and yells "I'M THE KING, MOTHAFUCKAS!" After a couple of seconds taking in the mix of cheers and boos, Martin steps into the ring and just paces around a couple of times before stopping at his corner and taking an ass bump to sit against the bottom turnbuckle.
Vinnie Lane: "Here comes the former Anarchy Champion, Elijah Martin... I gotta say, Bama, the show is just better when The Blueprint is here!"
Bama: "You mean the song? Because if they can sing it I oughtta be able to say it Vinnie!"
The lights in the building start to flicker, matching the opening riffs and drums of Disturbed's 'The Infection'. After the intro, a brief pyro explosion goes off in the entrance and as lyrics of the song begin, Xavier Lux steps out from behind the smoke left by the pyro.
ANNOUNCER: "And now, standing at 6'2' and weighing in at 225 pounds, from Los Angeles, California... "VENOM" XAVIER LUX!!!"
He stands there sporting his finest black and green gear and a black CCPE T-shirt. He looks around at the crowd who give him a mix reaction, not knowing which "Venom" is going to show up tonight. He focuses on those that do cheer, and even try to fight the boos with a brief “Venom! Venom!” chant. He smirks before making his way down the ramp, keeping his focus on the ring. Once he gets to ringside, he hops on the apron, wiping his boots, showing his respect to the canvas where he is about to practice his craft.
He then gets inside and makes his way to the corner, climbs to the second turnbuckle and again just looks around at the crowd who is still giving him a mix reaction. He takes off his CCPE T-shirt, and acknowledges a fan here and there and picks one whom he tosses the t-shirt too. He then hops down from the ring, checks in with the ref and then gets ready for the match as his music dies down.
Vinnie Lane: "Xavier Lux has risen in the ranks, Bama, he's one of the blue brand's top young stars!"
Bama: "Young? You called him young? That's more offensive than Lizzo and that flute!"
DING! DING! DING!!!
No sooner does the bell ring that both Elijah and Xavier charge towards each other! Elijah gets the upper hand by driving an elbow through Xavier's stomach, sucking all the wind out of him, then starts to punish him with a vicious series of strikes! Xavier is now seeing stars, so Elijah brings him down with a Side Slam, and makes the cover!
1!
2!!
NO! Xavier Lux kicks out!
Vinnie Lane: "No way Xavier Lux goes down just yet!"
Bama: "That's great, 'cause Elijah is ready for more!"
The Bronx native picks up Xavier and flings him towards the ropes! He means to catch him on the rebound as he breaks into a sprint, and goes for a RUNNING BIG BOOT... NO! XAVIER LUX WITH A DRAGON SCREW! Elijah Martin is sent crumpling to the mat and this gives Venom some valuable time to seize the initiative! Elijah is barely getting up when he's caught square in the jaw by an European Uppercut courtesy of Venom!
Vinnie Lane: "His jaw just got JACKED!"
Bama: "Just like Roxy does to you, right?"
Vinnie Lane: "She doesn't do that, Bama! Jesus Christ, just call the match!"
Xavier Lux brings Elijah down with a hip toss! He breaks out towards the ropes once more and crashes into Elijah with a Senton Splash! Beautiful landing, and there's the cover!
1!
2!!
NO! Elijah Martin kicks out!
Bama: "You're not going to put a former Anarchy Champion like Elijah Martin down with the jumping bean stuff!"
Vinnie Lane: "Nor will brawling put down Xavier Lux!"
Xavier picks up Elijah Martin and Irish Whips him to the turnbuckle! He starts sprinting towards Elijah, but he's caught square in the face by a desperation Big Boot!
Vinnie Lane: "OH MY GOD!"
Bama: "Gets you all going, doesn't it Lane?"
Vinnie Lane: "Don't kink sham-I mean NO!"
Xavier is staggered, and Elijah Martin has the chance to get back in the match. He charges from the turnbuckle and brings Xavier down with a vicious lariat! Not content with that, Elijah picks Xavier up and slams him to the mat with a sit-out powerbomb! Cover by Martin!
1!
2!!
NO! Xavier Lux kicks out!
Vinnie Lane: "Xavier Lux is nothing if not resilient!"
Bama: "Yes, but Elijah Martin is capable of breaking anyone, as resilient as they may be!"
Elijah lifts up Xavier from behind, and drives his knee over Venom's back in a devastating backbreaker! Down goes Xavier once more, but Elijah picks him up again. He gestures to the crowd, who respond with a mixed reaction, then prepares to put him down with the Prologue... WAIT! Xavier Lux with a lightning-fast School Boy! Elijah is caught unawares in the pin attempt!
1!
2!!
NO! Elijah Martin kicks out!
Vinnie Lane: "What a way to stop Elijah's momentum cold!"
Bama: "Had Elijah hit that DDT, it would have been the end!"
Both wrestlers scramble to their feet, but Xavier Lux is faster, and his kick game comes to the fore now! A shin kick to make Elijah lose balance, another kick to the mid-section, Elijah catches his leg... AND XAVIER LUX WITH AN ENZUIGIRI RIGHT ON THE BUTTON! Elijah drops like Vinnie's pants upon the sight of Roxy Cotton, and Xavier Lux manages to keep himself alive!
Vinnie Lane: "I got a headache just by seeing that..."
Bama: "Make the cover, Lux!"
But Xavier Lux is not done yet! He starts climbing the turnbuckles as Elijah begins to stir, and once Elijah is fully up, Xavier Lux takes off... WAIT! ELIJAH MARTIN'S HIT THE PROLOGUE! Both wrestlers go down, but Elijah Martin pops right back up!
Vinnie Lane: "WHOA! He's used Lux's own momentum against him!"
Bama: "Look how the tables have turned once more!"
Xavier Lux is lifeless right now, and Elijah rushes to make the cover!
1!
2!!
NO! Xavier Lux gets his shoulder just barely up at the very last second!
Vinnie Lane: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?"
Bama: "Slow count! This match is over!"
Elijah Martin seems to agree with Bama as he gets in the referee's face, but to no avail! The Bronx native has had enough, and signals for the end! He takes off to the ropes, and launches for the Death by Forearm... NO! XAVIER LUX WITH A PELÈ KICK! Elijah Martin is now staggered!
Bama: "HOW THE HELL DID HE DO THAT!?"
Vinnie Lane: "Don't be so quick to count out lucha libre!"
Xavier Lux is back to his feet, not without difficulty, and catches Elijah with an elbow smash! And another! And one more! He's revisiting Elijah's past punishment on him, and finishes the assault with a headscissors takedown! Once more Elijah Martin gets sent to the mat, and Xavier Lux breaks into a sprint! Elijah is groggily rising, only to be caught by a flying forearm! Again does Martin hit the mat but Lux isn't yet done! He picks up Elijah Martin and tosses him towards the turnbuckle once more! Elijah hits the ringpost back first and Xavier Lux charges at him, then lands a dropkick right to his jaw! The Toxin has just been administered!
Vinnie Lane: "This is it! Xavier Lux is climbing up the top rope!"
Bama: "And taking Elijah with him!"
Xavier Lux has just placed Elijah Martin over his shoulders, and launches for the Cure (Top Rope Death Valley Driver)! Both wrestlers go down and Xavier Lux drags himself on top of Elijah Martin for the cover!
1!
2!!
3!!!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Winner by Pinfall - "Venom" Xavier Lux
Vinnie Lane: "Hard-fought victory by Xavier Lux tonight!"
Bama: "Can't believe it. Elijah Martin had him!"
UNKNOWN SOLDIER
- vs -
RUBY
"Hail Satan" by Crucifyre blares over the Xtron system...
Unknown Soldier prays to SATAN! in the middle of the ring while a red pentagram traces him from above in the rafters. The red disco lights tracing the pentagram around Soldier continues to encircle him constantly in a counter clockwise motion. While standing in the center of this pentagram of glowing lights, he kneels and touches both his shoulders and forehead as a sign of the Unholy trinity. In the name of the Liar, the Sinner, and the great father and lord of all that is Evil!
It looks like Ruby is about to make an epic entrance, but as soon as all the circus animals and acrobats are ready, the lights go out!
After the sudden, not at all suspicious, totally suspicious, cutting of the power in the arena, the grossly underpaid XWF electricians have restored power. The camera feed opening back up to a perturbed looking Vinnie Lane on commentary.
Vinnie Lane: "Every time I say we’re not coming back to Jersey, we come back to Jersey and something dumb happ-
Vinnie stops mid sentence, his eyes bulging from his skull.
Bama: "Dang, baby, you ain't wrong! This might be the NEW Jersey, but the wiring in this arena is older than Ruby’s old man."
Bama hasn’t noticed what’s caught Vinnie off guard.
Sitting on the commentary desk in front of the wrestling legend, is one of those creepy homemade dolls made out of twigs and twine. Like on the Blair Witch project.
In fact, the whole arena is now covered in boobie-traps. Metal bear traps with very specific items placed as bait. The items are sprayed down with an estrogen scent, and include: free housing vouchers, a living wage, universal healthcare insurance card, domestic partnership statuses, Lil Jon and the Eastside boyz records, GeoSafari toys, and boxes of Ruby’Ohs. These items seemed to be placed to poach a stereotypical millennial.
Vinnie Lane: “What is this thing?”
Vinnie still can’t shake the item that’s placed in front of him. Perhaps a trap more suited for the Gen-X variety.
Bama: "Don’t open it, baby!."
Vinnie doesn’t listen and untwines the stick figure. He immediately gags at the rancid smell, and sight of rotting flesh.
Vinnie Lane: “GROSS, DUDE! WHAT IS THAT?”
Bama very nonchalantly looks at the disturbing item, and says
Bama: "Oh, those are goat testicles, baby."
Vinnie turns to vomit as Ruby makes her entrance into the arena. The crowd goes wild for the hero of the Anarchy brand. The one who has vowed to restore order, just like a… fascist? Nah!
Ruby moves with caution by the well placed boobie-traps. And though she’s nearly caught up by the mini ipod-mini, she’s somehow able to resist its unnecessary convenience. But when she climbs in the ring, she’s met by one last attempt by whoever this depraved poacher was… it’s a stuffed deer prop. But not just any old stuffed deer prop squirted with estrogen scents.
It’s a National Origin Discriminatory Deer. NOT to be confused with the Racially Insensitive Deer. No, this particular deer is discriminatory against Canadians. It’s wearing a shirt with a big circle and cross through a maple leaf. This right ticks off our DEAR Ruby.
She sends a roundhouse kick right at the deer’s head. But what’s this?!
Bama: "Oh baby! Quit puking and look."
Vinnie looks up just in time to see the deer “prop” catch Ruby’s kick. Suddenly the deer stands upright. Its eyes glow red. Ruby’s face twists with a trembling incredulity. The deer starts shaking like it’s going to combust, and that’s exactly what it does! Rancid guts and random animal innards fling onto the bat, and all over Ruby, who’s been knocked backward. Standing in the wake of the explosion is none other than the unholy one, Unknown Soldier!
He lets out a gnarly sounding shriek and pounces on his stunned opponent. The bell rings. Soldier monkey flips Ruby from the mat and sends her hurling into the turnbuckle. Soldier is meeting her almost immediately, running like a freak across the top rope where he bounces and DDTs her out of the corner. Following up with a springboard moonsault, Soldier goes for the cover.
1!
2!!
Ruby barely kicks out!
Bama: "The Unknown Soldier almost stoled that one, baby!
Vinnie Lane: “Ruby is going to need to shake off those well planned distractions if she’s going to have a chance here. Soldier is a master of mind games… I think. ”
Just as Ruby gets to her feet, Soldier is in a crabwalk position and dry humping the air, while laughing like a literal hyena. It’s frightening. Ruby takes a moment to shake off the disturbing image, then makes her move, she runs in toward Soldier like she’s going to hit him with a drop kick, but suddenly switches directions.
When Soldier flinches to avoid the move, Ruby is already springing from the opposite ropes. She runs toward Soldier with Ill intentions. But the wyr veteran is no less apt at making changes. He falls to his stomach, making Ruby leap over him to avoid tripping. He then raises up to catch her mid air
BUT IT'S A RUBYCUTTER!!!!!
Vinnie Lane: “Out of nowhere!”
1!
2!!
Another near fall!
The damage from the move on Soldier is considerable. He’s still prone in the mat. Ruby sees this as an opportunity to put the demon away. She scales the top rope for her finishing move. But in a flash, Soldier scrambles to his feet and throws his shoulder into the ropes. Ruby loses balance and she smacks crotch first onto the turnbuckle. Yes, that would hurt regardless of gender. Ruby is gasping for air now as Soldier runs at her, leaps in the air and hurricanranas her from the top rope.
Now it’s Soldier's turn, he climbs the rope, waiting for Ruby to stand so he can attack with his Dark Star DDT.
Ruby stands, wobbling in the center of the ring. Soldier flies off with a shooting star press, hooks his arm around her neck and..
RUBYCUTTER AGAIN!
Bama: "Out of nowhere again, baby!
Both competitors are down in the center of the ring, both with an unconscious pinfall being made on the other!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Ruby
Bama: "Big win for the three timer! Wow! Unknown Soldier is one of the all time greats!”
Vinnie Lane: “Yes he is, Bama, but I think we can say the same for Ruby now!”
LATINA SUBMISSION MACHINA
- vs -
BIG MONEY OSWALD
- vs -
JASON CASHE
- vs -
CENTURION 4-Way Steel Cage Match!
Centurion walks out and waves to his fans, unbuttoning and removing a really snazzy and expensive dress shirt as he goes to the ring.
Vinnie Lane: “Bama, Centurion is chasing a milestone here tonight… XWF victory number 200 could happen right here on Anarchy!!”
Bama: “In a fatal fourway? In a CAGE? Vinnie this kinda match just ain’t Cent’s bread n’ butter, I don’t see it happening tonight…!”
Vinnie Lane: “Aw… but I already bought an ice cream cake…!”
The hymn-like hum vibrates through the area before Lauren Hill soundfully brings in the chorus. Jason Cashe comes out from the back with Josslynn Spencer holding his hand. His eyes are covered by sunglasses. Looking around the arena at the live audience, his eyes stay hidden behind the shades. Taking a long drag off an air joint, Cashe howls up into the sky, a few fans howl with him. Josslynn gives him a 'good game' slap to the butt and they head down to the ring.
ANNOUNCER: From Houston, Tejas by way of Decatur, Georgia.. A truly Troubled One they call DiOGee.. Jaaaassoooon! CAAAASHE!!
Stopping as the aisle turns to ringside, Cashe drags a foot creating an imaginary line. This is the line where when passed, the talking stops. Giving Josslynn a kiss, she heads around the ring as Cashe steps into a jog, leaping up on the apron onto his left knee. He stands, ducking under the top rope to enter the ring. Taking off the sunglasses as he enters, he rushes across the ring and launches them deep into the crowd. Growling a roar to the live audience, showing he was ready to scrap.
Vinnie Lane: “Jason Cashe has a bad taste in his mouth after his Anarchy Title shot at Relentless, Bama!”
Bama: “Of course he does, Vinnie! He ended up in a pile of shit!”
His music hits, soon the ramp opens up and slowly Oswald begins to rise. His ornate cane planted in the platform, dressed to the nines like always. The crowd starting to chant "MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! " Once he was equal to the stage, he flung open his arms to form a t, letting out a loud roar, before grinning as he steps forward, making his way as he slowly unbuttons his suit jacket, his tie, his dress shirt, and unbuttoning the Billion Dollar Championship belt, handing it, his clothes, and the cane, to one of his servants as it appears as he takes his stance to get ready to face off against his opponent.
Vinnie Lane: “Here comes the BILLION dollar man, Big Money Oswald! Bama, did you listen to the man himself on his fireside chat?”
Bama: “Why would anyone listen to that anymore? The NEW XWF Podcast is where it’s at, baby!”
As soon as LSM's theme music hits the speakers the lights go dim as the crowd starts cheering for their favorita luchadora. As the bass bumps through the arena the crowd chants along to the slightly modified music. A spectacle of green and red pyrotechnics shoot up twenty five feet in the air from their base on the entrance platform. A complimentary arrangement of pyro shoots up through the four turnbuckles of the ring.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
A green, a red, and a white spotlight shine down from the rafters, randomly perusing through the rambunctious crowd as they await their X-treme Champion. After a few seconds all three of the spotlights are directed towards the entrance tunnel.
Who's this?
Latina Submission Machina pops out onto the illuminated entrance ramp alongside an additional burst of multicolor fireworks. The crowd pops hard for the champion as she holds the belt up high over her head.
MACH-IN-A! MACH-IN-A!
Announcer: Weighing 145 pounds and standing at 5 foot seven inches tall, fighting out of Ciudad Juárez, she is your reigning XWF X-treme Champion....she is LATINA SUBMISSION MACHINA!
The luchadora bounces around just outside the tunnel before holding the X-treme championship belt up at eye level and staring into it's center plate with a satisfied smirk. LSM flips her hair to the side before she tosses the belt atop her shoulder. With a big belt on one shoulder and a big chip on the other, LSM starts walking down the ramp amidst thunderous applause. The multicolored spotlights follow LSM every step of the way. The champion briefly pauses to give out a few high fives and to take a few courtesy photos with the front-row fans.
When she finally hits the squared circle Latina Submission Machina slides beneath the bottom rope and into the ring. LSM hands her championship belt over to the referee for safekeeping before she starts pumping up the crowd to cheer louder. Moments later Latina Submission Machina quickly breaks away and starts running the ropes of the ring, testing out the squared circle and getting a feel for it's qualities. Once she's content with its fitness, the luchadora grabs a hold of the ropes and comes to a controlled halt. She turns to the referee and tells them she's ready to go. The luchadora heads to the corner as instructed and begins reveling in the applause of her fans as she blows many kisses out to the crowd.
Vinnie Lane: “LSM is on a little bit of a losing streak here Bama, do you think she’s gonna turn it around tonight?”
Bama: “Could be! She’s a badass, baby, one of the toughest SOBs I ever done seent! I just hope she’s here legally!”
DING! DING! DING!!!
The four competitors quickly pair off and start battling one on one. Centurion goes right after Big Money Oswald, surprising the gargantuan billionaire luchador god. Cent uses his golden gloves level pugilism skills to keep Ozzy on his heels, boxing him against the ropes and just not letting up.
Cashe and LSM, no strangers to one another at all, waste no time tying up as well. La Machina is able to assert dominance after Cashe comes in swinging with some wild brawling and LSM trips him up with perfect technical wrestling.
Vinnie Lane: “Cashe just doesn’t have the scientific mat prowess that Latina Submission Machina does! He is a fighter, a scrapper, a brawler… not a technician!”
Bama: “He ain’t much of a brawler neither, Vinnie, he just got smacked into some shit at Relentless!”
Cashe is the first to turn the heat up in the cage, pulling out a sack of thumbtacks from inside his trunks. Pretty dangerous place to keep them, but the man is as hardcore as they come!
Cashe smacks LSM across the face with the bag of tacks, and the bag splits open and sends the metallic pointy things all over the ring. La Machina claws at her face and screeches, possibly blinded, and Cashe then hits the MARK OF JASON!
Cashe goes for a cover!
1!
2!!
Centurion yanks Cashe off of the pinfall, and pulls him up by his legs into a wheelbarrow suplex!
Vinnie Lane: “Cent with the heads up move, the match continues!”
Bama: “The man is chasing history, Vinnie! He ain’t gonna let Bumfight Cashe mess it up!”
Something interesting happens at this point… Centurion himself pulls a sack out of his trunks! But his baggie does not include thumbtacks… no, when he dumps the bag out onto the canvas, what we see is a bunch of… acupuncture needles!
Cent grabs a handful of the needles and plants them into the back of Big Money Oswald in specific and precise points. Ozzy’s arms go limp and his legs spasm… he ends up leaned against the cage door, in between the ropes and the cage on the apron.
Vinnie Lane: “Centurion just shut Oswald off like taking the batteries out of a rock ‘em sock ‘em robot!!”
Bama: “He’s a genius! Big Money is just a Big Mannequin now!”
Just then, Cashe blasts Centurion from behind with a running big boot, and it sends the veteran face first into the unforgiving steel of the cage wall.
Centurion slides down the chain link and Cashe grinds his face back and forth against the cage. He then sits Centurion against the cage and runs across the ring, hitting a high velocity baseball slide right into Cent’s face… the cage’s chain link fencing separates from the foundation and Centurion falls out of the ring to the floor!
Cashe looks startled like he might have just given Cent the win, then the official assures him it is a pinfall match, not a cage escape.
Cashe gets a crazed look on his face and he grabs LSM, who is still plucking tacks from her face, and then flings her right against the cage door where Ozzy is leaning! The door snaps open as the weak chain splits, and now LSM is out on the floor as well, writhing in pain!
Vinnie Lane: “In a match like this, the cage itself isn’t really a hindrance… it’s a weapon!”
Bama: “And Jason Cashe just put two and two together… he’s using that cold steel to his every advantage, baby!”
Cashe grins at the incapacitated Oswald, then leans the big man forward. He reaches down and grabs Ozzy right on the bulge in his trunks!
Cashe sets Ozzy’s man parts right at the latch of the cage…
AND HE SLAMS THE DOOR SHUT!!!
A single tear rolls down Ozzy’s cheek and he collapses, falling out the open door and down the ring steps.
Cashe turns, wiping his hands together after a job well done, and he gets flattened by a falling body press from Centurion, who managed to climb all the way to the top of the cage wall! Centurion with a cover!
1!
2!!
A blind LSM dives into Centurion! She still has tacks in her face but she must have followed the sound of the pinfall!
Vinnie Lane: “What an amazing effort from LSM! Centurion can’t believe what he is seeing from the fiery Latina!”
Bama: “Centurion looks downright impressed, but he can’t let that get in the way!”
La Machina and Centurion are locked up, and Cent grabs her in a front chancery. LSM is stuck in the hold, and Centurion must have eyes in the back of his head because he sees Cashe coming for him from behind…
Cent steps aside at the critical moment…
UTI INTENDED FOR CENTURION LANDS ON LSM!!!
Cashe looks surprised but shrugs, not minding the outcome… until he stands and turns right into a 1,000 MILE SLAM!!!
Centurion stands and roars with adrenaline, then he turns to Latina Submission Machina, who is just struggling to her feet…
Centurion scoops her up and pulls her onto his shoulders…
FABULA
NOVA
CRYSTALLIS!!!
Centurion hooks a leg defiantly and keeps an eyes on Jason Cashe as the official counts…
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Centurion
Vinnie Lane: “HE DID IT!!! Centurion gets his two hundredth win right here on Anarchy!”
Bama: “I am shook to my core. Cashe was the star of that match, but holy CRAP! We ain't never seen the FNC on the Blue Brand before tonight! Go get you some, Cent!”
Ruby runs out from the back with a bottle of champagne and she pops it in the ring with Centurion.
The happy couple celebrate the big win as confetti falls and a big
The lights go out. Then Thunderstruck by ACDC starts playing. And only white lighting starts flickering on the stage as the song starts. Just as the lyrics get to 'Thunderstruck', there is a glow on the stage, and Kris The Hammer Von Bonn is lit up by the glow and he is holding his Hammer. The lights come back on fully, and he walks all the way to the ring, followed by his Manager Antony The Jerk.
Kris walks up the steel steps. Then climbs into the ring. Oh each side of the ring, he lifts his Hammer in the air, and poses to the audience. He does this four times, one for each side of the ring. He then places his hammer in the corner, and waits for his opponent.
Atony makes his way up the ramp after escorting Kris, as his other client makes her way out!
Melanie Crayzee Childs steps out onto the ramp, and in time with the music skips to the ring. She jumps up on the ring apron. Turns around and starts laughing. She then makes her way inside the ring, followed by her Manager Antony The Jerk
Vinnie Lane: “So here we have the Misfits, close professional allies of former Anarchy Champion Mastermind... some say this match as set up as a hit!”
Bama: “I mean can you blame 'em Vinnie? The Misfits just do the bidding of Mastermind... ain't like either of them got a title shot comin' up!”
Edward Junior's theme hits as he walks out, but steps off to the side as he claps his hands as his father's song hits!
EDWARD walks out with the Anarchy championship belt's right strap in his mouth, gnawing on it, until Junior smacks him on the back, and mentions how he is supposed to hold it, before both rush to the ring to get this match on the road!
Vinnie Lane: “Crazy that I have to point this out but... this is NOT the Same EDWARD Jr. that Anarchy fans might remember! There's definitely a family resemblance though!”
Bama: “Yikes, how many kids does EDWARD have? The guy is making Herschel Walker look like an amateur!”
DING! DING! DING!!!
Edward Sr. starts the match with Kris. Sr. starts by faking a tackle, which causes Kris to back up as if trying to get further away, only to fall into the trap as Sr. actually does tackle Kris down and begin to slam his hands into the man's face time and time again, but on the side, the ref is counting up to 5.
As the ref is nearing 5, he grabs Edward, only to make the mistake to forget he's not in with someone that has a sophisticated and well-developed brain, as Edward turns and begins to bite the fingers of the referee, thinking it was Melanie trying to break the beating up for her partner. The ref shouts in pain and chastises Edward, who then understands what the problem was now, and Kris, not wanting to deal with Sr's wild side, scurried to his side of the ring, tagging in Melanie.
Melanie steps through the ropes, and Sr. looks over to Jr., tagging him in who then leaps over the top rope and into the ring. Much like his father faking an attack, Jr does the same, but attempts to go for Melanie's legs, grinning up at her before they lock up, which he loses as she throws him into the ropes, except she made the mistake of telegraphing a backdrop attempt on Jr. too soon, allowing him to jump up and roll off her back, continuing the momentum and bouncing off the other side of the ring's ropes, and as she looked to try to stop him, only for him to jump up and perform a running hurricanrana!
Edward began stomping in happiness for his son who basks in the cheers from the crowd, until Melanie runs and chop blocks his left knee!
Jr. begins grabbing his knee as Melanie grabs it and pulls him to her team's corner, performing several elbow drops in succession to it! Aiming to keep the quick man grounded to the ground, and before she performs her last elbow drop, she tags in Kris as she goes through the ropes to the apron.
Kris grabs Jr.'s leg and puts it up on the middle rope as he launches himself up into the air, and slams himself ass first into the knee in its terrible predicament. This causes Jr. to writhe around in the ring in pain! Cries of anguish and pain coming from the son of a Caveman. Sr. is growling and bouncing around on the apron as his son is getting his limb targeted.
Vinnie Lane: “Smart strategy by Von Bonn! Take out a limb and suddenly even cavemen aren't so strong!”
Bama: “Who knew we would see honest to god strategy in this match? Not me!”
Kris grabs the injured leg and lifts it, only to begin stomping on the hamstring area, trying to bruise it and make sure to take out that speed from Jr.'s playbook. He continues to work on the leg before tagging in Melanie once more who grabs the other leg and the two of them yank his legs far apart, making a human wishbone out of him! One of his hands goes to his groin, the other to his knee as she begins to throw elbows straight into his dome.
Slam after slam, as if trying to make him bleed the hard way until the ref tells chastises her for the attempts. She gets up from pummeling him, and begins to tease the crowd before moving to the top rope and Jr. slowly gets up with the assistance of the ropes. Limping he turns around and watches as she flies through the air, only for him to jump with his good leg, grabbing her arm as she tries to do a flying clothesline, and slams both knees into it!
Both competitors begin to roll on the ground in pain, as Jr. grabs his knee and she grabs her arm! Jr. slowly crawls to his father, as Melanie gets up and goes over to tag Kris, who moves as fast as he can, only to be a millisecond too late as Jr. leaps with his good leg to tag his father into the match!
Vinnie Lane: “Hot tag to the Anarchy Champion! EDWARD is fired up!”
Bama: “LOOK OUT KRIS! HE DON'T WASH HIS HANDS!!!”
Sr., having watched as his son get his ass beat by their opponents, runs through Kris, tackling him hard, and beginning to punch wildly into Kris's face! Melanie coming through the ropes and trying to pry Edward from her partner, only to get a similar taste from him! He tackles her and begins to lay into her with hammer fisted punches. The crowd explodes with cheers as Edward beats the hell out of the two! He gets up, and they stumble to their feet as he runs into the ropes and performs a double clothesline!
Both opponents seemingly turned inside out from the power of the clothesline! Edward picks up Melanie and throws her over the top rope, causing her to land onto the floor!
Edward would go to pick up Kris, only for him to roll Edward into small package! The ref sliding in to make a count!
1!
2!!
Edward kicks out! He gets to his feet and begins to stomp Kris hard, hitting him in the body and the head for trying to win the match in such a lame way. He picks up Kris and slings him into the EDWARD family corner, and climbs up the turnbuckles before beginning to punch him in the face as the crowd chants with each punch!
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!
8!
9!
10!
He drops down and tags in his son, who gets to the top rope as his father bodyslams Kris with authority before climbing out and onto the apron. Jr. leaps through the air, and lands hard, with both feet slamming into Kris's stomach! The move took just as much out of him as it did to Kris, however, as he grabs that injured leg and rolls over onto Kris, the ref gets into position and starts his count!
1!
2!!
3! NO! Melanie flies out from the side and slams into Jr.'s head, breaking up the count!
Vinnie Lane: “Childs makes the save! This one was OVER!”
Bama: “I think Kris Von Bonn might have dookied his shorts, Vinnie... there's a stank in the air!”
Edward comes into the ring and jumps on Melanie and begins raining down punches and knees, though while this is happening, Kris straight up cockpunches Jr. in his juniors and goes to pin him while calling for the ref to get their damn eyes on the match! This makes them begin to count, only for Edward to jump on Kris to immediately break up the pinfall attempt. He picks up Kris and throws him across the ring to his corner, and as the ref checks on Kris to make sure he didn't land badly, Melanie makes this a like Son like Father, and low blows Edward! If he planned on having any more Juniors, he may have to take a fertility test after that low blow from Melanie!
However, turnabout is fair play and as he saw his dad get in the jewels, Jr. punches Melanie so hard, he hits Melanie pearl! It only took one knuckle to make her shuffle as she grabs at her privates and collapses! Both Sr. and Melanie roll in pain and fall to the floor outside the ring as Junior and Kris slowly get to their feet, with Junior putting a gentle amount of pressure on his bad leg. Kris constantly going for attacks at that injured leg, but forgetting that while Junior needs two working legs to be fully agile and pull out all the stops, the man is still a very quick and nimble little man and every swipe at his bad leg has him hop away.
Kris goes for a spear attempt, and just like earlier, he jumps up, rolling across the back of Kris and rushing into the ropes to help him gain some momentum, leaping up, getting caught by Kris, only to spin around the man's body and then spiking him with a tilt-a-whirl DDT! However before Kris has a chance to roll onto his back, Junior is jumping onto his back and slapping on the rear naked choke called the NITE NITE!
The two roll around inside the ring, as Kris tries to get air, but soon begins to go to sleep! The ref goes over and grabs his right hand and raises it high into the air and then drops it!
1!
They do it once more, lifting Kris's hand as high as it can, and then dropping it!
2!
Could the Edwards do it? Could they be winning the match right here, right now?! The ref raises the hand once more before dropping it again!
COULD THIS BE THE END!?!?!?
3!
Yep, it was the end.
Winners by Submission - EDWARD I & EDWARD III(AKA EDWARD JR. II)
Vinnie Lane: “Wow! That prehistoric strength really did the trick... Melanie Childs is zig-a-zig-OUT!"
Vinnie Lane: “Folks that's it for Anarchy! I hope you had as much fun as we did... wait, what's that? Cameras are in the back... why?”
Backstage, Lexi Gold is seen staring at the monitor watching a match. The crowd cheers on upon seeing her. For this occasion, she wore a stunning White Gold strappy dress, matching heels and her hair is pinned straight back. Once she was finished, she took out a small notebook and a pen, then started scribbling down some notes of her own, then she closed her notepad and a smile formed on her face.
The camera slowly begins to zoom back, eventually showing a person with their back to us, wearing a black hooded sweatshirt with the hood up, blue jeans and nice black rubber gloves. The camera swings around to try exposing who this mystery person is and… it’s ELIJAH MARTIN?! He just continues to stare at what Lexi Gold is doing, barely making so much as a flinch when the camera swung around to his front side. And just as we say that, Elijah slowly turns his head so he is facing directly into the camera lens…
SHE WILL BE MINE AGAIN…
Martin darts away from the camera without making any disturbance, as Lexi has continued to watch the show from the monitor as the scene fades.
SPECIAL THANKS:
RAION KIDO
VITA VALENTEEN
GHOST FRIGGIN’ TANK
LEXI GOLD
DOLLY WATERS
MARK FLYNN
LIAM DESMOND
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