Did I catch your attention with the title of my promo? I hope so because my mentor always told me to have a strong opening line that will hook your audience. However, in this instance the "F.U." stands for "For Us" because I'm on this journey for me and my dad. For those of you who have been living under a rock, I'm John Madison Jr. and my father is:

- A former XWF legend, and former #2 on the all-time top 50. 

- The first ever King of the XWF from the inactive title era.

- 2013 Superstar of the Month for March which is peak business for wrestling. 

Well, I'm his son and I graduated from a prestigious wrestling camp in Calgary on a full ride scholarship thanks to my father. I am his project, and he is mine. For those of you who don't know, my father is serving time for armed robbery and food contamination at Taco Bell. Thankfully, nobody was very hurt in his crime spree, but he does have to face the consequences of his actions. 

While I was growing up, I watched my father's career take off like a jet only to watch it crash and burn in the gutter. I remember having to turn off the TV every week while watching him self-destruct in front of everyone, including my grandmother. My heart was broken having to watch our family name being run through the mud. I cry every night when I think about him being blacklisted from wrestling and society. I just want people to understand my father. 

Visiting Day

It was always a bittersweet moment when I went to visit my dad. I was happy to see him doing well but hated seeing him locked up like an animal. I also hated all the cursing, sexual talk, and when he would make advances onto the other visitors or get into fights. I guess you can say it was more bitter to see him in his current state. I advised my father that he would need to tone down his lewdness for today's visit because I would be bringing a camera crew with me. At first, he told me to "STOP BEING A F**** PUSSY" but I wouldn't budge until he agreed to be on his best behavior. 

I walked into the prison's visitor lounge which smelled like armpits and misery. My father couldn't hold back his excitement when he saw me walk in with a production crew. I'm sure the XWF logos painted over everything brought back fond memories for him. Sorry if I tear up during this promo, but not many people can say that they're a second-generation wrestler to the former, now inactive King of the XWF. It's highly unlikely that my father will ever touch a wrestling ring again in his current state, and I could tell that it hurt him inside. It hurt, no, CRIPPLED my heart to see him in pain.



M Sr.: "HEY YOU F**** A*****!"

M Jr.: "Hey, dad!"

My team decided to let the vulgarity slide but tapped me on the shoulder to remind me that I needed to me mindful of the content. It wasn't my dad's fault. He just missed me because I had been away for six months to train at a prestigious wrestling school in Calgary.

M Sr.: "Son! Where the f*** have you been? I asked you for that d**** months ago, ya  f*** p****!"

M Jr.: "DAD NO!"

I could hear the steam coming out of my producer's ears so I reeled in my father. I would have to make sure that he remained on his best behavior while I had my camera crew with me.

M Sr.: "Did you bring it? Did you hide it inside the camera?"

M Jr.: "No, dad. Listen to me, ok? Whenever I come here with my camera crew, I need you to tone down the vulgar stuff. It's not good look for my career, and quite frankly it's not good for yours either. Don't you want to be given a second chance with the XWF at some point?"

M Sr.: "No, son. Those guys don't want me around anymore especially after what happened."

My father turned his face away from the camera to hide his shame. 

M Jr.: "Oh come on, dad. There are a lot of guys who are looking forward to seeing you again whenever you get out of this dump. Everyone there has been very welcoming. Get rehabilitated and come back on the road!"

M Sr.: "Son, I'm never leaving."

M Jr.: "Yes, you are! Just have some faith in yourself, you can pull this off."

M Sr.: "No! I have built relationships inside of here. SERIOUS relationships with a lot of men who take care of me every day. I can't leave now son, there's work to do."

I couldn't believe that I was watching my own father become institutionalize before my eyes. It's like he saw no limit to his self-destruction. It broke my heart that I couldn't just take my dad home and hug him because now he belonged to the prison people. I couldn't take him by the hand and walk him into the XWF arena to apologize for his life choices. The reality is my father is destined to rot in a prison cell unless I inspire him to be the man that he once was. I'm beginning to become teary eyed just thinking about it. I told you this would be an emotional promo. 

M Jr.: "Ok dad, we'll revisit the topic down the road but in the meantime, I have some exciting news."

Mr Sr.: "Did you finally get laid, son?"

M Jr.: "DAD! Not in front of the camera dang it. But no, I didn't... I mean yes, I did."

I looked back to the production crew to tell them to edit that part out about me being a virgin.

M Sr.: "So you did get laid?"

M Jr.: "Yes, I had sex with a wonderful lady."

I turn to my camera crew to make sure they have me on record for answering "yes" to having sex. I couldn't let word get out in a locker room full of alpha males that I was saving myself for the right person. If word got out, then I for sure would end up a loner without a crew of homies to have my back.

M Sr.: "What's her name?"

M Jr.: "Helen, but that's not the news I have. Anyway, I'm finally going to be a XWF superstar after graduating from that prestigious wrestling school in Calgary that I told you about."

M Sr.: "HOLY Ffff- You did it! Hell yeah, son. This whole time I thought you were a pussy and flunked out months ago. I figured you were just here as some pencil neck reporter to ask me about my career."

M Jr.: "What?! No, I trained really hard for this. I put in blood, sweat, and a lot of tears."

M Sr.: "Haha, I'm just messing with you, sort of"

M Jr.: "Well, I am NOT a pussy, dad. I trained really hard at the prestigious wrestling school in Calgary under the guidance of a former world champion and hall of famer. I learned a lot of technical moves and submissions, and I want you to get out of this place so that you can come stand in my corner for my match."

M Sr.: "Well, that's not going to be for a while, but now I finally have a reason to get out of here!"

Finally, my dad was onboard with rehabilitating himself. I felt a wave of emotions overcome me as I began
to cry into my hands.

M Sr.: "Goddamn it, son. You're never gonna get any action or gold with all your f**** crying. Pick up your balls!"

M Jr.: "Will you see if you can catch my first match on October 15th?"

M Sr.: "I'm booked that day. Hah!"

M Jr.: "Right, prison dad jokes. Do you have any advice for me on my first day at work? Should I dress professionally or street clothes from Zumiez?"

M Sr.: "Your clothes don't matter! You need to make a big impact on these people, or they'll walk all over you. You gotta screw with their heads! I say you take a page out of my book and show them what's up."

M Jr.: "Um, what might that page be?" 

M Sr.: "Food poisoning. Haha! You're a good, innocent kid so they'll never see it coming either. Make sure you delete this part of your promo, so they don't catch on. 

M Jr.: "Oook... I don't think food poisoning is going to get me far, dad. What happens after that? Do I just keep poisoning people every week?"

M Sr.: "Not yet. But hey, get a box of donuts and fill those bad boys up with urine, s***, and s-"

M Jr.: "Ahem."

M Sr.: "Don't worry, I'll write all of this down."

M Jr.: "That won't be necessary. I will take you up on your advice and bring donuts for the boys. However, I will NOT be poisoning them."

M Sr.: "Ohhhhh, are you just saying that for the camera, so you can swerve them? HAH! You're brilliant, son."

M Jr.: "No, I'm not going to swerve anyone! They will be regular donuts filled with regular ingredients, dad."

M Sr.: "Gotcha."

My father winks at me with the shit eating grin. I'll admit, I was tempted to take him up on his idea. Can you imagine if I took out the Universal Champion on my first night using only a donut? Has such a thing ever occurred in the history of wrestling? I would have to turn to the code that my mentor in Calgary taught me though, which I'm not ready to disclose. 

I felt a bond with my father right then and there. I turn to my camera crew and ask them to have some time alone with him. Not because of my emotions overtaking me, but because I could tell that deep down inside, it was killing him not to blurt out expletives about the men he was fighting in prison or whoever it was that "screwed him" in the glory days of his career.

So about my match with Chuck Norris...

I pulled out my detective board and pinned each of my opponents over it. It felt good to press the pins through their foreheads! First on the board was Raion Kido. At first glance I thought it was odd that they would have "speed" as a weakness but named some of his signature moves after lightning. "Lightning Bolt" and "Lightning Plasma." I began to question the legitimacy of these moves, or if this was a farse to throw me off his tail. Don't people usually say, "fast as lightning" or "like greased lightning"? Or maybe lightning means something completely different in the XWF? I wasn't buying into this guy's backstory. I would need to be cautious with reading too deep into this character, especially with him listing intelligence as a weakness. Usually these are the types of idiots who bludgeon themselves with a club. I would need to outsmart him which means I need to play Among Us for at least 2 hours a day. 

Next up, was The Celt whose entrance theme I could listen to on repeat. Then again, he claims to be insane so maybe that wouldn't be a good idea. This man will have to remain a mystery to me until I can get up close. I found that his Scottish accent made him difficult to understand at times. 

Finally, Buster Gloves, a BJJ player and MMA fighter that has the Burning Hammer as his desperation move just in case he needs to paralyze his opponent. Pardon my language but DAMN, that's a highly trained ape. While we're at it, let's implant metal plates into this guy's forearms. Shouldn't this match be the three of us against Buster? Why is this man even working here? You're better than this place, Buster! Him being here seems like a waste of our country's resources. Mr. Gloves served in the Middle East AND he overcame addiction. I've been in Nerf gun fights and I have a sugar addiction so I can relate there. Hey Buster, watch your back out there because I once had a blue belt in karate. Did anyone in management think to tell him that he might be overqualified for the job? Special Forces should be reaching out to this man. 

None of this really matters, does it? The most important thing is that you go to the ring and learn first-hand what these people are all about. This will be a melting pot of styles and I can't wait to show the world what I'm all about.