WEDNESDAY - 18 - MAY - 2022 THIS IS... WEDNESDAY NIGHT WARFARE!!!! AMALIE ARENA, TAMPA, FLORIDA

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JASON YORK - vs - MAC BANE 1 RP- Standard Match- Guest Referee: PETER VAUGHN

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THE THUGS - vs - THADDEUS DUKE and DOLLY WATERS - 2 RP’s PER TEAM- Tag Team Elimination Tables Match

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NON TITLE BOBBY BOURBON - vs - VITA VALENTEEN - vs - JOSHUA SCHULER 1 RP- Standard Match.

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Wednesday Night Warfare takes the air…





An impressive display of pyrotechnics shoot up across the stage as The Nickleman’s theme music blasts throughout the arena. A video package rolls across the X-tron showcasing highlights from Charlie’s most recent run with the television championship belt. The crowd is already booing in anticipation of the man they love to hate.

PC: “Hello and welcome to WEDNESDAY NIGHT WARFARE, the greatest wrestling show on earth! Tonight we are LIVE from Tampa and we have a hell of a card for you! Fan-favorites like Bobby Bourbon, Vita Valanteen, Thaddeus Duke, and even Dolly Waters will all be in action! We have a real doozy of a show prepared for you here tonight!”

HHL: “Yeah, but it looks like Charlie is coming out here to ruin the party before it can even get started! It’s always something with this bastard!”

Charlie Nickles steps out on the entrance ramp with his precious Goldi strapped tightly around his waist.

PC: “Theo came out and tried to get Charlie to give his TV belt back on the last Savage so it could be repurposed for Leap of Faith, but Charlie refused! It looks like he still has it, I’m not sure he’ll ever willingly give it up!”

HHL: “Theo got Devil Hook Dropped for trying to take Charlie’s Goldi, that’s not a good sign for the next person who tries to take it off his waist!”

Charlie has a microphone in one hand, but he’s holding both his arms out at his sides as if he were Jesus Christ. The Nickleman descends the entrance ramp with his arms outstretched while he stares up towards the heavens. The crowd continually derides their TV God, especially when he rolls under the bottom rope and enters the ring with mic in hand.

HHL: “Do we really have to open the show up with Charlie Nickles of all people? This guy gives me the creeps! He’s not even booked for tonight, he shouldn’t even be here!”

PC: “Why don’t you go tell Charlie to skedaddle, Heather?”

HHL: “Because he’s crazy and unhinged! The madman even Devil Hook Dropped Theo Pryce onto his championship belt last Saturday night- I don’t want to imagine what he’d do to me!”

PC: “Well, that’s probably why no one is stopping him from opening the show tonight!”

Charlie stands in the center of the ring with his Goldi hanging around his waist. The Nickleman looks slightly pissed off as he brings the microphone up to his lips.

Charlie: I’ve been licking my chops and waiting my turn for what feels like ages. I’ve been chasing after one thing, this one thing: for what feels like a year! Ever since I came back last year, I haven’t felt whole without it. I knew ever since I stepped back into the ring at the last Leap of Faith, that my life would never feel complete unless I finally took what was rightfully mine.

PC: “Charlie has been fiending for a shot at the universal championship ever since Jim Caedus held the belt!”

HHL: “Fuming? That’s an understatement!”

Charlie: Now, it’s time for me to take it back. I won’t wait until Leap of Faith to get what I deserve: I’m going to take it tonight.

The crowd goes crazy at the only implication of The Nickleman’s double entendre that they understand. Charlie grins like a dog, because he knows exactly what he’s doing.

PC: “Charlie wants a shot at ALIAS tonight!”

HHL: “The fans would love it: but is the champion even in the building tonight?!”

Charlie: So get your pretty blonde ass out here and give me what you owe me!

The crowd goes crazy in anticipation.

Charlie: JENNY MYST!

The crowd goes silent.


The arena goes dark, with the purple and pink smoke filling the arena. “THE IN BETWEEN” by In This Moment begins to riff over the speakers.

Is this what you wanted?

Comes across the X-Tron in big lavender letters.

I'm gonna bring a little hell
I'm gonna bring a little heaven

You just keep wanting more
With your blood and your whore

I'm gonna bring a little hell
I'm gonna bring a little heaven

It's a beautiful tragedy
You wanna be sick like me

'Cause I can bring a little hell

Jenny walks out on the ramp.


PC: Jenny Myst has made a name for herself on Savage, and is now making a rare appearance on Warfare leading up to the Pay Per View. Whenever this little witch is involved, you know something weird is about to happen.

HHL: And if you remember correctly, the last time we saw her on this broadcast, she cut off that ear she is wearing around her neck!

Jenny skips down to the ring, without a care in the world it seems. Charlie stares at her, or, at the ear, and watches as she skips up the steps and into the ring. She continues to skip over to the other side of the ring where she grabs a mic, and turns to face Charlie, one hand on the mic the other on the ear around her neck.

JENNY: “CHARLIE!!!!!!!! You called?”

*giggles*

JENNY: “I came all the way here to Tampa, I hope you’ve got a fun game for us! Hehehe, I’d hate to think that you don’t wanna be my friend anymore.”

She gives the sad puppy eyes as her lower lip extends above her upper. Charlie just rolls his eyes at all the theatrics.

Charlie: You know what I called you out here for, Jenz’. You’ve got two eyes and three ears: so I’m sure you’ve heard the news and read the card by now. Our deal has been fulfilled, you are now OFFICIALLY my heir to the TV title…like I promised you all those months ago. Now it’s time for YOU to fulfill your promise to ME.

Charlie holds out an open hand expectantly as he stares down Jenny Myst.

Her eyes go wide, her hand gripping the ear with white fingers and black nail polish.

JENNY: “My…..my favorite toy…..”

Her voice quivered like she was about to cry.

JENNY: “THE HEIR?! Charlie if I was the HEIR, you’d be handing that title to me right now. That is how heir thingamabob works. Instead, I have to beat Centurion at Leap of Faith to get it. What do you have to do? Stand here and offer me a MATCH. A MATCH Charles. You get your ear and get to skip along on your merry way and I get NOTHING but a MATCH. That is NOT how you explained the deal…….I’m blonde, Charlie, I’m not dumb. Something is fishy here……”

She begins to mumble to herself.

JENNY: “One of them….you’re one of them….I knew it…..”

She starts to pull at her hair, getting louder.

JENNY: “ONE OF THEM! YOU’RE ONE OF THEM!”

HHL: Myst is coming unraveled here…….are we about to see another breakdown on national television?

PC: God I hope so.

Nickels casually raises an eyebrow.

Charlie: One of WHO, Jenny?

JENNY: “THEM!!!!!!!!”

Nickle nods his head at the answer.

Charlie: Could be. Might be, I suppose….but if I was really one of THEM, how would I have THIS?

The Nickleman reaches into his pants pocket with his free hand. He pulls out a Burn The World joint along with a BOB-branded lighter. He offers the combination out to Jenny Myst as he smiles softly at her.

Charlie: Come on, Jenny: smoke some dead opps with me. You’re not you when you’re sober.

HHL: “WOAH, what Charlie has in his hands right now is federally illegal! I’m not sure this is suitable for TV!”

PC: “Nothing Charlie does is suitable for TV!”

Jenny looks at the combination, still clutching the right ear of The Nickleman.

JENNY: “BOB. I–they used to be my friends. We used to play games and build forts and do pranks. But they didn’t really want ME. They wanted my title, they wanted my namesake……I don’t need to smoke Charles. You shouldn’t either. Yucky...... I came out here to play a game…are we going to play or should I just go home?”

Charlie just shrugs before he places the joint in between his lips. Nickles sparks the joint before tucking the lighter back into his pocket. He pulls the joint out of his mouth after he takes a long drag of it, blowing a thick cloud of smoke right into Jenny’s face.

Charlie: “Let’s play, Jenzos’. I love a good game.”

Jenny starts to laugh, hysterically. Slapping her knee.

JENNY: “We ARE playing a game, aren’t we, Charles?”

She giggles again.

JENNY: “I love games!”

The camera cuts to the back where we see Lance, ALIAS's’s self-proclaimed 'BEST FRIEND', tied to a barbershop chair with multiple feet of barbed-wire. Lance’s mouth is stuffed with a pair of Jenny Myst’s dirty panties. His face looks beat-to-shit and he’s barely managing to keep his eyes open as his head drifts from side to side aimlessly. When the camera zooms out a bit more we can see BOB-member Jim Jimson sitting in a folding chair near Lance, reading violent dolphin hentai.

HHL: “OH MY GOD, PIP! THEY’VE KIDNAPPED LANCE! HE’S BEEN MISSING FOR WEEKS!”

PC: “I don’t think he’s missing anymore, Heather! I think they found him!”

Charlie looks up to the X-tron where the scene of Lance is being displayed. He takes a big puff of his joint before hooting and hollering with glee.

Charlie: Holy shit, this is amazing! Jenny, is this your work? Wait…holy shit Jenz’, I know what’s happening! You and Jimson have been planning my surprise party for months! You got Lance all caged up like the tweeter-bird he is….this is the best party favor I could ask for on the 1-year anniversary of my return to the XWF!

Jenny smiles a big grin.

JENNY: “I told you I like playing games! But……as fun as this was……Charlie……the game is just starting……”


PC: What in the hell is she talking about?!

HHL: I am not sure she even knows anymore.

She does the shocker with her fingers, and Jimson nods. Lance yells as the camera cuts.

Charlie: All this for the 1-year anniversary of my return to the XWF? Oh Jenny, you’re such a sweetheart! But not to be outdone…I got you something too, Jenny!

The camera cuts to a recorded video of Centurion walking down an XWF hallway at an unmarked time and unmarked location. As Centurion turns a corner he is suddenly ambushed by a bastard wielding a lead pipe.

HHL: “Centurion, watch out!”

PC: “I think it’s too late for that, Heather!”

THAT BASTARD IS MARF SWAYSONS.

Centurion goes to lift his hands in defense, but it’s no use. The lead pipe cracks down hard. Marf then grabs Centurion by the collar and leads him to a door down the hall. When Marf pulls the door open a bunch of potato head ears fall out- it’s clear that the room is literally filled to the brim with potato ears. Marf cackles as he shoves Centurion into the room full of ears before slamming the door shut behind him.

That’s when Oswald walks into the scene with a big wooden 2x4. Oswald and Marf places the 2x4 in front of the door before quickly drilling it into the doorframe like some expert craftsmen. Ozzy and Marf then turn around to the camera and give two big thumbs up.

Marf: Happy coronation, Jenny!

Oswald: Remember Jenny: you’re still not a member of BOB.

Marf and Oswald walk away from the scene as we hear a sudden pounding on the back of the door. The X-tron then goes black. The camera cuts back to Jenny Myst and Charlie Nickles standing in the ring. By now Charlie’s joint has reduced to half its original size. The ashes are spread all around the squared circle.

Charlie: So whaddya’ think, Jenny? I heard that Centy still hasn’t gotten out of that motherfucker!

Jenny’s eyes are wide, like a kid who just opened the most expensive gift under the tree at Christmas. She jumps up and down, clapping.

JENNY: “Oh Charlie! You didn’t have to! But I loveeeeeee it”

The end of the sentence ended in a squeal, and she hugged Charlie, who put his hands up as to not touch any inappropriate parts. The Nickleman looks over at his ‘jealous lover’ and shrugs, as if asking his Goldi ‘well, what do you want me to do?’.

As she hugs, squeezing Charlie, she looks up. Her eyes turn into narrow slits.

She steps back.

JENNY: “So……what does this all mean?!”


She grips the ear again, stepping back with it snugly in her fist.

Charlie: I hope it means you’re going to give me my ear back!

Jenny looks down at ear, biting her lip, clearly not comfortable with parting with her favorite toy.

Before Jenny can respond a brand new theme song blares out across the arena’s PA system as an accompanying video plays over the X-tron.


HHL: “What is this?!”

A few seconds into the song we see Barney Green and Jim Jimson walk out onto the entrance ramp while holding up the barbershop chair that Lance is strapped to. It looks like some sort of twisted bar mitzvah ritual as the bastards hoist the chair into the air while walking down the entrance ramp. The audience looks completely horrified by the scene, as mothers cover the eyes of their children and the weak-willed look away entirely.

PC: “I…I think this might be Lance’s theme music!”

When Barney and Jimson near the ring they look a bit perplexed at how they are going to get the barbershop chair into the ring. That’s when Charlie yells at them to just throw it in, and they happily oblige. The two men toss the barbershop chair with Lance over the top rope, where it then lands roughly on the mat. Barney and Jim quickly slide into the ring after it.

HHL: “This is sick! This is disgusting! Someone needs to stop this!”

PC: “Where is ALIAS?!”

They stand the chair up into the proper sitting position.

Jimson: “Jenny, what if you gave Charlie his ear back and just took one of this guy’s ears? This guy has cleaner ears, anyways!”

She tilted her head like a dog, side to side. She looked over at Barney, who gave her an enthusiastic thumbs up.

She looks back at Jim. He motions to take the necklace off. Charlie takes another drag of the weed, leaning back against the turnbuckle.

Barney had a bookbag, which she didn’t notice before. It was a Jansport.

PC: “This cannot be happening. They are bartering with the single most deranged person on this roster. Charlie’s ear for Lances. She can’t actually be CONSIDERING this?!”

HHL: “She is more than considering it, Pip. She’s gonna do it and we have to sit back and watch!”

Barney walks to the center of the ring and dumps out the bookbag. Several horrific items fall out. Wrenches, clips, knives of all sizes, scissors, small baggies of thumbtacks. Jenny damn near licked her lips at all the shiny objects in front of her.

PC: “I’ll say it again. Where THE HELL is ALIAS?! He can’t just be allowing this to happen?!

HHL: “There are 4 people in that ring with an assortment of weapons. The champion is tough, but he’s not stupid!

Jenny picks up several different items, and finally decides on a box cutter that bore a pink handle. Almost as if they KNEW she’d pick that one. She looked at Lance, whose eyes were wide now….he knew what was about to happen. Jenny smiled wide like a child and walked towards Lance, wielding the pink handled box cutter.

She looks at the three other men in the ring, and then points at the ear that was still attached to Lance.

“I can has?!”

They nodded. Jenny took the lanyard with Charlie’s ear off from around her neck and tossed it to him. Charlie grabbed it, a HUGE smile on his face, and tucked it into the crevice between the TV title’s strap and the golden plate. The Nickleman then approached the bound and gagged Lance. Charlie takes one last drag off his joint before blowing a big cloud of smoke right into Lance’s face.

Charlie: Did you think you could hide from me forever, you little punk? Don’t you remember that I made you the #5 contender to my TV championship belt? Twitter fingers turn to trigger fingers, bitch.

Nickles puts the joint out on Lance’s forehead, causing the bound and gagged man to squirm wildly. Lance tries to scream, but again, Jenny’s dirty panties muffle the sound. Charlie looks around at Jenny and the boys.

Charlie: Rip this tweeter bird's wings off. Let’s see if he can still fly after you’re done with him.

Jenny grabs Lance by the back of the head while cackling as Charlie rolls out of the ring with his Goldi in tow. The crowd begins to boo as The Nickleman walks up the entrance ramp with two extended middle fingers.

PC: “I can’t watch this!”

HHL: “From the looks of it, neither can Charlie!”

PC: “He’s probably just going to the back to watch this insanity on the TV with his jergens!”

Charlie ducks away into the back as Jenny flips open the box cutter. With a uniquely deranged look on her face she grabs Lance by the back of the head. She is bringing the box cutter towards his head. He is shaking his head, trying to get away, she holds him tighter. Jimson has a pipe and Barney a wrench, they stand guard in the ring. She brings the boxcutter to his head.

PC: “Oh god, don’t do this, SOMEONE STOP THIS! For god sakes CHILDREN WATCH THIS PROGRAM!

Blood begins to squirt up on Jenny’s face. Lance screams into the panty gag. It takes a bit of sawing but finally, when Jenny was pretty much covered in blood, it popped off. She held it up like a trophy as a couple people in the front row threw up.

Just then, as if shot out of a cannon, ALIAS hits the ring out of nowhere!

HHL: "THE CHAMP IS HERE!"

PC: "BUT HE MIGHT BE TOO LATE!"

RUNNING KNEE on JIMSON! He turns, hits an inverted backbreaker on Barney Green! ALIAS rushes Jenny, but she slides out of the ring with a terrified look on her face. She runs back up the ramp, before turning around holding her new ear tauntingly. ALIAS looks set to follow her, but he’s drawn back by Lance’s pained whimpers. The Universal Champion tends to Lance, fuming, shaking with anger as Jenny smiles, hugging her new toy.

That's when Jim Jimson uses the ropes to elevate himself back to a standing position. He approaches ALIAS and Eats The Left Hand! Barney sees Jimson struggling in a mandible claw and pushes himself up to his feet in response. He grabs the pipe off the mat and charges ALIAS with it, only for the Universal Champion to turn around just in time and hit Barney with The Other Left! Barney and Jimson both roll out of the ring as ALIAS sets to work freeing Lance from his bondage.

PC: “What the hell did we just watch! We apologize ladies and gentlemen for that horrific and grotesque display. I don’t think in all my years here I have seen something that brutally awful, and I remember when she cut an ear off of Demos the first time! Good god. We have to take a break from Tampa….we’ll be back. Good lord.

ALIAS is fuming as EMT’s and backstage officials flood the blood stained ring.

Warfare mercifully goes to commercial.

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The following contest is set for one fall!


Introducing first, standing 5’11” and weighing 195 lbs, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, here is “Casino Kid” Justin York!

The lights in the arena go completely dark as 'One for the money by Escape the Fate' hits the speakers. Only a spotlight hits the very top of the stage as you see a man and his wife standing with his back turned, the back of the shirt reads 'Casino Kid'. Pyro goes up into the air from both sides of the stage as all lights then come on and Justin York and his wife turn and begin down the ramp, Taunting fans as they go. Once entering the ringside area, he takes a walk around the ring rudely gesturing to the crowd and taunting some more before holding the ropes for his wife to enter and getting into the ring and giving his signature middle finger to the camera with a cocky smirk while boos reign down from the arena.



And his opponent, standing 6’6” and weighing 280 lbs, from Port Arthur, Texas, accompanied by “Chronic” Chris Page, here is Mac Bane!

Mac Bane steps out as “The Enemy” by Godsmack plays, with Chris Page walking out after him. Bane seems relaxed as he heads for the ring, ready for a good fight. He rolls into the ring and gets up effortlessly, glancing over at his opponent for a moment before turning away to talk a little business with Page.

HHL: That gives us our two opponents, but what about our referee?

PIP: Gotta say, I’m really surprised he didn’t come out with Mac and Page…

HHL: Or already be there in the ring, like most of our refs…



The music for “This Time It’s Different” by Evans Blue hits, with the crowd immediately booing as Peter Vaughn appears through the curtain. He smirks as he comes forward, wearing a referee’s shirt instead of his usual custodial outfit.

And here is our special guest referee for this contest… “The Mechanic” Peter Vaughn!

PIP: Apparently the cocky son of a bitch needed his own entrance. He should learn that refs really get no respect… from anyone.

HHL: The best referees are the ones you never notice… so Vaughn is already failing at his job.

JUSTIN YORK - vs - MAC BANE Guest Referee: PETER VAUGHN

Vaughn has moved over to York now, apparently checking him for weapons. York tells Vaughn off, saying he’s got nothing, with Vaughn shaking his head. He then pats his own pockets, passing along the advice to always have something hidden. Vaughn turns and walks back over to Bane and Page. Bane just shakes his head at Vaughn, telling him there’s nothing to find, and Vaughn nods, taking his word for it. Vaughn then steps to the middle of the ring, raising his arm and holding it up for several seconds before finally dropping it, signaling for the bell to be rung.

HHL: Normally, we’d be going into this talking about the two different wrestling styles here from two veterans of the sport. But the unknown factor right now is Peter Vaughn.

PIP: You’d think that Vaughn would be siding with Bane, since they’re both CCPE members. But Vaughn is fighting Bane for the Supercontinental Title at Leap of Faith, which might change Vaughn’s strategy. The guy’s a complete wild card.

Bane and York step up to each other, exchanging a few words. York cockily puts a finger into Bane’s chest, with Bane quickly knocking the hand away. York, annoyed, immediately throws a forearm strike, causing Bane to take a step back. He shakes it off with a relaxed grin, then steps forward, scoring his own right hand that knocks York backwards! York comes right back, getting in Bane’s face, immediately reaching up… and giving him a poke in the eye! Bane stumbles away, rubbing at his eye, as York smirks and follows him, only to be pushed back by Vaughn! He gets in York’s face, calling the eye poke an illegal move, and telling York that he should at least wait for Vaughn to turn his back. York tells Vaughn to get out of his face and pushes him away… just as Bane comes back with a hard clothesline, knocking York down!

PIP: Vaughn’s already causing an impact in this one!

HHL: But… the impact is because he actually called a move illegal. That… was the right call.

PIP: I was hoping he’d just let them fight, personally.

Bane brings York back up off the mat, basically ignoring a circling Vaughn. He picks the lighter York up and bodyslams him on the canvas, then goes off the ropes and walks back, dropping a fist right into York’s forehead! York sits up, grabbing at his head in pain, as Bane takes a knee behind him, grabbing York from behind and putting him in a chin lock. Vaughn immediately asks York if he wants to quit, with York saying no, even as Vaughn teases calling for the bell. He stops, though, chuckling to himself, as he watches York start to fight his way up. York gets free with a jawbreaker, knocking Bane away from him and into the ropes. Bane shakes his head to clear it and comes back, only for York to jump up with an enziguri combination, knocking Bane off-balance. York then gets a DDT to plant Bane on the canvas, continuing his assault.

HHL: York is looking to make a big splash tonight in the XWF. Beating Mac Bane in his first match would be a huge accomplishment.

PIP: It’d be a nice boost heading into his Buried Alive match with the Unknown Soldier at Leap of Faith, that’s for sure.

York looks down at the recovering Bane, then glances at Vaughn, signaling for him to turn around. Vaughn shrugs and does so, pretending to stare out at the crowd, as York puts a foot onto Bane’s neck, choking him! Bane angrily shoves at the foot, managing to push York off of him, as Vaughn turns back, curious. York latches onto Bane’s arm, pulling him up, and shoves him into the ropes. York then tells Vaughn to watch this, before he runs forward, springing off the ropes and going for a cutter! But Bane hangs onto the ropes, keeping him from moving, and York crashes to the mat on his own! York rolls, holding his back, then jumps up, but Bane comes rushing at him, hitting Tornado Alley (Roaring Elbow)!! York’s down, as Bane makes the first cover of the match. After a second or two, Vaughn’s finally down and in position.








1!








2!




And York kicks out!

PIP: That was a much slower count than I was expecting to see.

HHL: It wasn’t speedy, but I don’t think it was that bad for a guest referee…

PIP: No, but if Vaughn wanted CCPE to win, that would have been a lot quicker, I’m just saying.

Page is watching quietly from outside the ring, just there to root on Bane. On the other side, York’s wife is pacing back and forth, not liking how this is currently going. Bane has York up now, knocking him into the corner. Bane delivers some shoulder strikes, ramming into York’s gut, as Vaughn waits patiently behind them. Bane continues the attack by striking away at York’s forehead with some punches, trying to knock the taste out of York’s mouth. Suddenly, Vaughn gets involved, grabbing at Bane’s hand. He pulls an angry Bane back, telling him not to use closed fists, with Bane asking him why he even cares about it. Meanwhile, York’s wife is up on the apron, checking on her husband. Seeing this, Vaughn goes over to her, telling her to take a hike. As Vaughn directs her off the apron, Bane grabs hold of York… who immediately slugs him with the Knuckle Duster, his poker chip ring gleaming on his fist!! Bane falls, as York hides the ring and drops for the cover. Vaughn turns back and sees it, dropping down.







1!









2!



TH- And Bane kicks out of the pin attempt, sitting up and holding his head!

HHL: York almost won with a foreign object strike!

PIP: Just the sort of move Vaughn would normally do. If Vaughn had seen it, do you think he would have intervened?

HHL: Who knows?

Page has called Vaughn over, telling him that York used a ring to strike Bane. He wants Vaughn to take care of it, but Vaughn says he’s not searching York’s trunks for it. In the meantime, York has gotten a woozy Bane up, shoving him against the ropes. York then jumps, dropkicking Bane and sending him over the ropes and to the outside! York gets to his feet, posing for a second as the crowd boos him. He then shoos Vaughn out of the way and runs to the ropes, coming back and leaping to the outside with a running over the top rope crossbody!! But Bane surprisingly catches York, just for a second, before throwing him over him with a fallaway slam into the barricade!! The crowd cheers, and even Vaughn is applauding from the ring, respecting the impact of the move.

PIP: Bane showing that his ring awareness isn’t just in the ring! That was a veteran counter.

HHL: And now both men are on the outside, and Vaughn isn’t bothering to count them out!

PIP: Eh, nobody really likes a countout, anyway.

Vaughn is just standing at the ropes, watching, as Bane has gotten himself back up. He knocks York back against the apron edge, then strikes away at him with some jabs, keeping York rocked. He then lifts York off the edge and takes him into position, lifting him into the air and delivering a vertical suplex on the floor!! The limited padding can’t have protected York much, as he appears to be in a great deal of agony. Bane reaches for York again, looking up at Vaughn to make sure, and Vaughn nods to him, seemingly in no hurry. Bane then gets York over towards the barricane, leaning him over it and landing some hard blows to York’s back. He steps back, ready to get a running kick on York, when Vaughn suddenly shouts “Eight!” Bane looks back in shock, then steps forward, grabbing York and spinning him back towards the ring. Vaughn shouts “Nine!!” as York gets rolled underneath, with Bane scrambling to get in as well. Vaughn yells “Ten!”, but then waves it off, smirking at a very annoyed Bane.

HHL: Was Vaughn counting under his breath that whole time?

PIP: Or he just started randomly at eight. Still, Bane looks pissed he almost lost that way.

Bane gets in Vaughn’s face, asking him if he really wants to make things between them like that. On the outside, Page is just watching, not wanting to get involved, as he’s a fan of CCPE interaction. Vaughn apologizes, raising his hands, saying that he’s still new to the referee game, but Bane doesn’t seem to buy it. He turns away from Vaughn… and York stuns him with a spinning heel kick!! With Bane dropping to a knee, York darts forward, scoring a running knee strike! Bane’s down, with York dropping onto him and pulling at his legs, hanging on tightly. Vaughn shakes his head and then drops, making the count.







1!









2!



THR- and Bane is able to shove York off of him!

HHL: A near fall for York, and you can give a lot of credit to Vaughn for that one!

PIP: His count still wasn’t any quicker though, Heather, so at least he’s not going to fully screw Mac over.

York, at least, seems to think the count was too slow. He’s back up in Vaughn’s face, telling him off for not counting Bane out. Vaughn disagrees, saying that York just isn’t good enough to put Bane down with such a ‘weak’ move. Vaughn turns away, telling York just to do his job, but York angrily grabs hold of Vaughn from behind, trying to lift him up for the Casino Crusher!!! Vaughn fights free, though, landing on his feet and spinning around, furious. But as Vaughn and York step towards each other, Bane is suddenly there, grabbing York by the head and delivering Tagged & Bagged (Headlock Driver)!!!! York is out, as Bane puts a hand over him, ready for the pinfall. Vaughn, though, doesn’t count, as he seems extremely torn by this series of events.

PIP: Bane’s won! It’s over!

HHL: Not if Vaughn doesn’t count, it’s not! He’s too pissed off right now at York trying to injure him that he’s not doing his job!

Bane, realizing that it’s not happening, gets up and goes over to Vaughn, glaring at him. He tells Vaughn to stop prolonging it, wanting this one over with. Vaughn shrugs Bane’s hand off of him, telling him not to touch him, since he’s the referee. Behind them, York is slowly getting up, looking wobbly. He shakes his head, clearing it, and realizes that Bane’s back is turned. As Bane and Vaughn keep arguing, York slips his poker ring back on and comes in from behind… and Vaughn suddenly jumps in front of Bane, locking onto the surprised York and hitting the Keyholder (Ripcord DDT)!! York’s down again, as Vaughn, suddenly realizing what he’s done, turns and stares at Bane.

HHL: Now Vaughn’s actively gotten involved in this one!

PIP: I mean, York DID try to knock him out. But, wait, since someone assaulted York, and Vaughn technically saw it, is this one going to be a disqualification??

Vaughn moves to the side, conferring with Page, as Bane angrily paces back and forth. After a moment, Vaughn comes back to Bane and suggests that he didn’t actually see anything, so this one’s still going. He reaches down and ‘helps’ York up, while pointing to Bane, who appears to just want this over with. As York’s wife yells from outside, trying to get her husband to move, Bane comes in and nails him with Branded (Slingshot Lariat), knocking him out!! Bane makes the cover, not expecting much, but Vaughn does actually drop and start counting.





1!








2!








THREE!!!

WINNER: MAC BANE

HHL: It wasn’t what you would call a clean contest, by any means, but it’s still a victory for Bane going into Leap of Faith.

PIP: I guess we should be glad Vaughn didn’t just assault Bane when he had the chance. Although I suppose there’s still an opportunity for some bloodshed…

Vaughn goes to raise up Bane’s hand, but Bane wants no part of it, pulling away from him. He’s still annoyed about Vaughn’s “referee skills”. Page comes into the ring, walking over to Bane and congratulating him, as Vaughn turns away, opting to let Bane have this moment.

---

~~~~~

These are questioning times, especially with Roe v. Wade in the balance. That’s why we at Manheim Mayonnaise knew we needed to do something.

We see a mother and her daughter sharing an embrace, then each taking bites out of homemade tuna sandwiches at the kitchen table.

We’ve added the benefit and discretion of a morning-after pill to your sandwich spread of choice, and think of all the other uses for mayo. Tuna salad. Chicken salad. Ham salad. Egg salad. That’s egg and more egg product. Tell your eggs no means no with Motherless Mayo.

We see a prostitute wake up in a lavish bed. Thunder Knuckles walks in, wearing a fluffy baby blue robe. He holds up a wad of cash and a sandwich in a ziplock baggie.

I made you a fucking snack. Here’s your goddamn money, you need to get the Hell out of here.

TK turns and looks at the camera.

My hoes got to go and when they do, I don’t leave them hungry. Thanks, Manheim Mayonnaise, now I know my swimmers won’t make it to fucking shore!

Motherless Mayo, look for it in your local grocer!





~~~~~

We come back from the commercial and see TK in the ring, with a smile on his face and a microphone in his hand.

XWF fans around the world!

The XWF fans in Tampa roar for the cheap pop.

Did you like the commercial?

The fans in attendance have no clue what TK is talking about.

Not you fucking idiots in Tampa.

The crowd rains down boos onto TK, who’s living it up.

We’re in the goddamn hometown of Ring Master!

Suddenly Ring Master’s music hit! The crowd goes ape shit, they've been waiting to see their hometown hero.





TK looks shocked, walks over to the ropes, and kicks the bottom one. As the music continues to play TK’s shock look turns to intensity. TK can’t keep a straight face for long and starts laughing.

Cut the goddamn music. That mother fucker isn’t scheduled to be here tonight! You should have heard you Swamp Donkeys!

TK points to the crowd and continues to laugh at them.

Your hometown boy couldn’t even be bothered to show up for you! Why in God’s name would you ignorant Floridians think he’s going to show up for you when I defend my Xtreme Championship at Leap of Faith?

The crowd is fully animated cussing and booing TK, who is making a mockery of Ring Master in his hometown.

Ring Master! Leap of Faith, inside a double goddamn cage, your ass, is mine.

TK tosses the microphone in the third row but the person who caught it throws it back into the ring. Even without a microphone, you can hear TK saying as he exits the ring.

Fucking marks.

Pip: What a piece of shit.

HHL: He’s still a Bastard, Pip.

---

---

PC: Welcome back to Wednesday Warfare, wrestling fans! Up next we have a very special attraction.

HHL: Pip, this special attraction could even be likened to a once in a lifetime happening, as Thaddeus Duke and Dolly Waters reunite in the ring for the first time in five years.

PC: That’s right wrestling fans, we have Revolution Prime in action tonight, in what will be Thaddeus Duke’s final match ever on Wednesday Warfare.


We see the X-Tron come to life with the words THUGS in red font, and smoke comes out of the stage and the camera see's not Tommy coming out first, but one of the replacements hired by the THUGS: Lobo. He’s trash talking to the camera, then Frank follows behind as he raises his fist in the air as they walk down to the ring. At the ramp area, Lobo and Frank smack talk some people, and they both climb to the ring and enter it and bask in the mixed reactions as their theme cuts off.

PC: Heather, it was speculated all week that Tommy Wish and JB were looking to sign some replacement wrestlers to the THUGS stable. Oh look! And there they are!

The camera pans to ringside where Tommy and JB have front row seats, bobbing their heads to their own tune.

HHL: When I first heard that Tommy and JB weren’t “ready” to face Revolution Prime, I was upset. But honestly, who WOULD be ready to face off against Thad Duke and Dolly Waters? I’m not sure there’s another team in the XWF who wants that fight on their hands.

PC: Well, I would imagine the Tag Team Champions might feel differently. But nonetheless, here we are, it’s the Replacement THUGS versus…

An image flashes on the XTron





As Pop Evil’s “Footsteps” begins drumming through the speakers, the fans all but drown out the music with applause. Thaddeus Duke appears under the XTron raising his arms into the air while Dolly Waters trails behind deliberately. Each take to one side of the stage and point to the fans before meeting up in the middle and staring down their opponents. The duo then moves lock-in step to the ring.

PC:In less than two weeks Heather, this team you see before you will go toe to toe at Leap of Faith

HHL: Dolly Waters and Thaddeus Duke have such a storied history together in the XWF. No matter what the era, where you’ll find one of them, the other is usually not far behind.

PC:And after all of that time, the two have never locked up in the ring.

HHL:In what will be Thad Duke’s final match before his XWF contract expires, he will get that opportunity, in what has to be considered nothing less than a dream match

THE THUGS - vs - THADDEUS DUKE and DOLLY WATERS [stip]Tag Team Elimination Tables Match

Dolly and Thad take to the apron and do some poses. The Replacement THUGS don’t seem very impressed as Tommy and JB watch on from ringside with curiosity.


The ref calls for the bell and we start off with Thaddeus Duke squaring up Lobo in front of an emotional Warfare crowd, this in fact being Thad’s very last match on the program.


The former universal champion is a masterclass in the ring, showing off his technical prowess and striking power early on, however the replacement THUG Lobo does not waiver. While Thad plays to the crowd, Lobo is able to make a quick tag to Frank. Frank and Lobo rush Thad and work him over in the corner with punches and attacks similar to the THUGS repertoire.


Lobo hits a releasing scoop slam into the corner and Frank follows up with a sliding dropkick to Thad’s face before the duo pounce on Duke again for the double team. The ref finally calls the break and makes Lobo move out of the ring. Frank then continues to work on Duke. He hits back breakers, full Nelson slams, elbow drops, all the while Dolly sits on the outside trying to rally the fans to rally Thad.

After a near fall that Thad escapes, Frank lifts Thad again for another move, but it’s countered by a falling jawbreaker from the Lionheart. Dolly reaches out and Thad makes the hot tag, the roof comes off of the building. Frank made the tag to Lobo, but Lobo is quickly overrun by Dolly’s speed and tenacity.

Backfists, mule kicks , elbows, forearms and uppercuts send Lobo reeling toward the corner, and a springboard dropkick blasts him into an impromptu tag by Frank. Frank seems hesitant to join the fight now as Dolly backs up egging him on. But Tommy and JB jump the guardrail, and climb on the apron for a distraction. The ref tries clearing them off, but it’s no use. Dolly looks at JB on one side, Tommy on the other and Frank staring her down.

Dolly runs forward and catches Frank in the chest with a one legged dropkick, she then darts over and and bashes Tommy with a flying forearm, also bumping the ref. But JB now has her wrapped up from behind, locking in a sleeper hold. But Thad Duke! He cleans JB’s clock with a Heat Seeker super kick. Dolly falls from the hold, she looks at Thad and they both look at Frank who is getting up to his knees. The duo nod at one another and each take off to opposite sides of the ring ropes.

STEREO RUNNING WATERS!

The dual running knees flatten Frank, but Thad and Dolly aren’t done, on one side of the ring floor they spot Tommy rising up, on the other JB. They take off running again, and Dolly and Thad each perform a suicide dive on the opposing THUGS.

The crowd goes crazy!

Thad takes his position back on the apron, and Dolly climbs back through the ropes just in time to watch Frank make a desperate tag to Lobo. Lobo chases after Dolly who leaps on the ropes and springs back with her Ode To Joy European uppercut. Dolly stands in the corner and waits for Lobo to climb up to his knee…

Running Waters!

But Dolly doesn’t make the pin fall? She tags in a confused looking Duke and offers the pin to her partner. Duke climbs on Lobo.

1!
2!!
3!!!

Winners - Revolution Prime

The Revolution Prime theme begins to play, but Dolly looks up toward the XTron and makes a cutting motion in front of her throat. The music stops, before another tune starts playing:



PC: The Thad Duke victory theme playing here on Warfare for what will be the last time. This is an emotional moment, Heather!

The fans break out a: Thank you Thad, chant. Dolly and Thad share a tender hug in the ring, before Dolly raises Thad’s arm. She motions her hands out as if displaying Thad for the whole XWF Universe to appreciate.

As Thad smiles, Dolly moves out of the ring, giving her tag team partner his moment to say goodbye to a program he’s been so fundamentally involved in branding and building. Dolly makes it to the top of the ramp, applauding still as she watches Thad down in the ring before making her exit behind the curtain. Camera’s follow Dolly In a corridor near the ring entrance, we can still hear Thad’s music echoing while a smiling Dolly Waters moves toward her locker room.

Steve Sayors: Miss Waters! Miss Waters! A moment, please?

Dolly stops and turns to Steve Sayors whose ambushed her with a microphone and production crew.

Steve Sayors: Obviously an emotional moment out there in the ring tonight, Thad Duke’s final match on Wednesday Warfare, you must be overcome with a lot of different feelings… especially as you prepare to face Thad one on one at Leap of Faith.

Dolly simply nods,

Steve Sayors:… but you had that victory sewn up for your team tonight, why did you decide to tag in Duke at the last second?

Well… I think everyone deserved to hear Thad’s victory theme one last time.

Steve Sayors: You mean on Wednesday Warfare.

No. I mean that’s the last match that Thad is winning in the XWF.

Sayors looks stunned,

You should probably be out there right now. It’s kind of a historic moment.

Dolly walks away from Sayors as the scene fades.

---

---

”Ladies and Gentleman the following Triple Threat Contest is you MAIN EVENT of Warfare! Currently in the ring, JOSHUA SCHULER!”

A smattering of applause from the crowd as Schuler throws his right arm up in the air.

”And introducing…”



About to make her way to the ring, she is VITA VALENTEEN!

As the opening riff of "Bloody Tear" tore through the arena the crowd jumped to their feet! Vita makes her way down to the ring, slapping hands with her fans along the way. Vita then slides into the ring and postures for the crowd as her music dies down.

“And finally…”



”About to make his way to the ring, he represents BOB and is the 2022 KING of the XWF, ladies and gentleman, BOBBY BOURBON!

The lights in the arena go deep blue as smoke fills the air. Pink and silver laser lights cut through the smoke and it looks fucking rad.

As Warlord blares throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Bobby Bourbon. He stops, surveys the whole of the arena, raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Bobby climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops. The XWF Universe in attendance, becoming hooligans, all chant in unison.

*FUCK 'EM UP, BOBBY, FUCK 'EM UP!*

NON TITLE BOBBY BOURBON - vs - VITA VALENTEEN - vs - JOSHUA SCHULER Standard Match.

The bell sounds as we are underway with our Main Event of the evening! Vita and Josh rush towards Bobby driving him back into a corner where they start trying to double team the larger Bourbon! Josh and Vita stomp and kick at Bobby before shooting him across the ring where he crashing into the buckles! Bourbon bounces off the buckles taking both Josh and Vita down with a double clothesline! Vita rolls out to the floor leaving Bourbon to stomp away at Schuler.


PIP: What started as a double team attempt didn’t last long as the King of the XWF has taken over his ring!


Bourbon picks Joshua up off the mat, he fires Josh into a neutral corner where he rushes in landing an Avalanche Splash! Bourbon brings Josh out and drives him into the mat with a sidewalk slam! Bourbon makes the cover.


1!!




2!!




THR…


Josh pops the shoulder up off the mat. Bourbon is the first back to his feet. He doesn’t waist time as he picks up Josh setting him up for the Bourbon-Bomb! Vita slides back into the ring rushing past Bourbon where she springboards off the middle rope with a back elbow to Bourbon that breaks the Bomb attempt! Bobby staggers back into the ropes where Vita charges toward him with a flying cross body block that sends Bobby and Vita spilling out to the floor over the top rope!


HHL: Bourbon and Vita just landed hard on the floor!


In the ring Josh starts getting back to his feet where he sees Vita and Bourbon starting to get up on the floor. He makes his way over towards the corner and climbs up to the top rope! Josh leaps off the top rope with a flying cross body block on top of Bourbon and Vita taking all three down to the floor! The crowd pops with the move as Josh pops back up to his feet! He picks Vita up and hurls her back into the ring!

Josh slides into the ring where he makes the cover on Vita!


1!!




2!!




THR…


Vita escapes with a kick out! Josh starts getting to his feet where he picks up Vita up off the mat, he rocks her with a right hand before taking her back into the ropes. He shoots her across the ring, Vita bounces off the near side where she ducks under a lariat from Josh while transitioning into a Side Russian Leg Sweep!

Vita floats into a cover!


1!!




2!!




THRE…


Josh pops a shoulder up off the mat.


PIP: Everyone is trying to get that victory in the early goings!


HHL: It’s anyone’s game with all the momentum for Leap of Faith at stake.


Vita gets back to her feet where she picks Josh up and starts leveling Josh with forearm smashes to the jaw. Vita charges toward the ropes where Bobby yanks both her ankles out from under her! He yanks her out to the floor where he hurls her back into the security barrier! Bourbon slides back into the ring where he pops up to his feet, Josh rushes toward him only to eat a boot to the midsection. Bobby underhooks the arms where he delivers a butterfly suplex driving Josh down into the mat where he follows up with a running back senton!

Bourbon makes the cover.


1!!




2!!




THRE…


Josh kicks out of the near fall. Bourbon starts hammering down with right hands to Josh before he gets back to his feet. He reaches down picking up Josh. He scoops up Josh where he slams him down to the mat! Bourbon follows up with an elbow across the sternum of Josh where he makes another cover.


1!!




2!!




THRE…


Josh escapes once again. Bobby gets to his feet where he picks up Josh. He drives him back into a corner with a series of shoulder blocks to the midsection. Vita slips back into the ring where she comes up behind Bourbon with a school boy!



1!!




2!!




THRE…


Bourbon escapes with a kick out sending Vita back into Josh in the corner! Bourbon gets back to his feet where where he rushes toward the corner! Both Vita and Josh evade the larger Bourbon who dives with a spear attempt! He dives through the ropes smacking his right shoulder off the ring post.

Josh tries to dump Vita out of the top rope, she counters by back body dropping Josh out to the floor!

She turns toward Bourbon who pulls himself up in the corner. Vita rushes forward delivering a running knee strike to the jaw! She follows up with a running bulldog driving Bourbon down into the mat! Vita makes the cover.


1!!




2!!



THRE…

Bourbon pops out once again.

PIP: Vita has the King isolated!


Vita is back to her feet where she reaches down picking Bourbon up off the mat. She starts rocking him with right hands before bouncing off the ropes where Bobby catches her with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Bourbon forces the cover.


1!!




2!!




THRE…


Vita kicks out to a pop from the crowd! Bobby steps back up to his feet where he bounces off the ropes to a chair shot across the back from Josh from the floor! Josh slides back into the ring with the chair in hand! Vita gets to one knee where Josh throws the chair into her face! It bounces off her face sending her spilling out to the floor!

Josh talks some trash yet seems to forget that Bobby Bourbon never went down!

Josh turns around thinking he’s in control where a seething Bourbon stands! He immediately boots him in the midsection where he lands the BOURBON BOMB! Bobby puts on foot on the chest of Josh,


1!!




2!!




3!!!

WINNER VIA PINFALL: BOBBY BOURBON

Bobby has his arm raised in victory as he gazes down at Joshua before raising his head looking intently into the camera….








The crowd comes alive as Bobby’s attention immediately hits the top of the ramp!


PIP: Wait just a minute here…


The crowds response gets louder as seen walking out to the top of the ramp is the General Manager of Wednesday Night Warfare, former Universal Champion, the man… “Chronic” Chris Page.


HHL: Oh the history…”


Chris Page stands at the top of the ramp, his eyes not removed from Bobby Bourbon who has a cautious look in his eye. Suddenly a large, unfamiliar to the XWF walks out behind Page.





Chris starts to make the slow walk toward the ringside area as the Tampa crowd is split with the response. Chris walks around the ring toward the time keeper area. He reaches out for a microphone, and he’s handed it before climbing up on the ring apron followed by this unknown piece of human mass.

Chris steps through the ropes where he looks across the ring at Bobby Bourbon.

The music fades as Chris is joined in the ring by his unknown figure. He raises the microphone as he addresses Bobby Bourbon.

CHRIS PAGE: First things first…

Chris introduces his protege.

CHRIS PAGE: You, nor anyone for that matter should concern themselves with the man you see standing before you; that is unless you try to take liberties with me. Some of you might know him from Action Wrestling while others might know him from CU:LT Wrestling… but I know him as the big BASTARD HOLDEN ROSS, and he is a sizeable insurance policy for all the haters out there that can’t stand the fact that I am the FACE of Professional Wrestling.

Chris redirects his attention toward Bobby as Holden simply stares across at the King of the XWF.

CHRIS PAGE: Mr. Bourbon, oh how we have unfinished business, eh? I haven’t forgotten about Relentless 2021, I haven’t forgotten about you nor Thunder Knuckles for that matter… which is why I was more than thrilled to come out here tonight to speak to you face to face in front of the world.

Page pauses for a moment before he continues.

CHRIS PAGE: There’s a wild rumor floating around that I wanted to address. Did you issue a challenge to CCPE?

You can see Bobby nodding his head which brings a smirk to the face of Chris Page.

CHRIS PAGE: Bobby Bourbon, Thunder Knuckles, Charlie Nickels, and Marf… right? The four of you versus four members of CCPE? Consider your challenge… accepted.

The crowd roars as Chris drops the microphone, winking at Bobby Bourbon as Wednesday Night Warfare fades to black as we are heading into Leap of Faith!

---

Credits: Dolly Waters Mark Flynn Alias GM Team Thunder Knuckles Charlie Nickels

- HALL OF LEGENDS 2019
- 2019 Heel of the Year
- 2019 Locker Room Leader of the Year
- 2019 Feud of the Year w. Robert Main (you’re welcome)
- Former


With Robert "The Omega" Main

XWF World Heavyweight Champion