Mr. Oz
Active in XWF
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
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Joined: Wed Oct 01 2014
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Hates Given: 228
Hates Received: 29 in 26 posts
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08-31-2021, 04:25 PM
~ A Couple Weeks Ago ~
Oswald is sitting in his office, as a servant appears next to him. He listens to what it is saying, before grumbling
"Fucking OLYMPICS?! THEY WANT TO HOLD OUR OWN OLYMPICS!? THE FUCK!
Fucking assholes. They know that without me, my money, this will be a huge fucking shitshow. Fine. We're going to have our own Olympics. I'll get everything set up, but for my event? I'm going to show people a spectacle. I'm bringing in every creature across this universe to show off their strength and precision, with SHOT PUT!"
The servant spoke to him, and Oswald grumbled
"You're right. I am just a human. However, what those idiotic aliens don't know, is that I have the power of a diety that I've been learning to control. You think they know anything about Earth? Why the fuck do you think they keep doing drive-by's and never staying?
Now, if you'll excuse me. I have a lot of numbers to call, and a lot of psionics to contact."
Oswald presses a button and his office windows shutter up and his desk elongates, and soon several old school telephones from the 1950s era swing up from the desk, each having different alien languages appearing as small cards in front of each phone.
~ Present Day ~
Several flags appeared, symbols that no one can decipher, well, almost no one. Several alien creatures walked up as each was introduced. One was an elephant looking man, hailing from a planet named Klorknora. A creature that looked humanoid, but was damn near 11 feat tall, dwarfing most of the competitors, coming from planet Niqnoraq. It kept going down the line until the ending. To fireworks and Ozzy's theme song in XWF blared over the sound system and his flag was the flag for Earth.
First up was the elephant creature. He took his mark, and with a stride, he threw the shot hard, as intergalactic cameras followed the shot, and saw that the sphere went past the moon, past Mars, and slammed into Jupiter. A small smirk could be seen underneath his trunk.
After him was the giant. He took his stance, performed his stride, and that shot bypassed every single planet, only to slam straight into Pluto! He cheered and laughed and felt like he had this in the bag.
Oswald just watched him, glaring at him. Aliens across the entire universe would get their shots out, most of them barely passing Mars, the rest hitting other planets in this galaxy.
Finally, Oswald is up. He grabs the shot, tossing it up and down as if it were nothing, placed it to his neck, getting ready in the form. Once given the signal, he took his stride, and then threw the shot! It bypassed every single planet in this little part of the Milky Way galaxy. It continued forward, but it began to expand, until it was almost the size of the Earth. Until it came upon a massive pinkish-blue colored planet, destroying that planet before stopping.
"Awww, sorry about that. Guess you're an orphan now."
He laughed heartily as he walked away.
As the judges deliberated, talked about distances, they'd come back, and Oswald would be placed first, the giant second and the elephant man third. However, with the Giant, he was openly weaping. Oswald and the elephant man simply celebrated, though the elephant man bites the medal, grabs the woman that placed the medal over his neck, before flipping off the crowd and one of his friends giving him a champagne bottle, which he shook up and opened before spraying himself with the liquid before the three walked off their platforms to head to their rooms.
"BOB is showing up once again. Riding with the original members, as well as Page and Mr. BOB.
Robert the Sigma Sidebitch, Jimmy Bob, Drew NotCintyre, Betsy Middling, Shawn Fuckstain, Jim Crow, no relation.
I wanna say you people know how to work as a unit, like BOB. However, I'd be lying. You're not going up against an assortment of non-BOB people, you six. No. On Warfare, BOB is coming hard, and if TK doesn't mind me pulling a page from his playbook-"
Oswald does his best version of TK's jerking off hand gesture. It's not as impressive but the viewers get the point.
"all over your goddamn faces. When it comes to BOB, numbers should be taken into account, shall we? How many times has a member of BOB lost to one of you? Fuck if I know, it's your job to count. Doubt it's more than 0, though, the highest I'll believe is 2. Most of these people are harder hitters than I. So, I'm going to let you in on a secret.
You won't beat us. That's it. Not that much of a secret though, is it?
I have become the GOD CHAMPION of Anarchy, the first and only. With me holding this title, there's nothing BOB cannot do and what we want to do right now? I think we want to run our feet all over you faces, smearing them into the fabric until you're all nothing more than fleshy paste under our bootheels. The last time BOB was this strong was, well, War Games. Did we win? Nah, but did we win our match as a team? You better fucking believe it! Guess who was part of that team? Betsy Granger and Shawn Warstein.
The both of you lost to us. You honestly believe that now that there's 4 people with you two, that we're suddenly gonna lose? You have to be shitfaced to think you're gonna beat us.
At War Games, we beat two of your team. Page alone has Robert under his thumb. Jim's an unknown entity. I'm not sure if any of us ever fought Jim. Don't think we have, so hey, you've got the one thing we haven't beat. Oh noooo, I'm so fucking scared. How many of you can actually say you've beaten us? I've not fought any but two of your team, and again, that match ended with me being eliminated but with a W.
Scratch that. I went up against Jim during the Leap of Faith match. We both lost, so, I don't know. He doesn't seem all that too strong. It seems like he's afraid to win if a match has more than two or three people in it. What do I know though?
Oh yeah, I won a match containing three other people and I fucking pinned Centurion. So, I would have to say when it comes to numbers, I'm not afraid to win and they're almost always on my side.
On Warfare, you will see and feel the full strength of BOB, you will see what it's like to go up against the God Champion of Anarchy. At the end of this match, the team with the best strategic tags, are gonna win and who but a TEAM is going to be better with such a thing? Six individuals who have tagged here and there, or a group of people who are always there for their fellow bad guys?
Not a hard question to answer, I reckon.
Join BOB.
Maybe you'll acquire that fine taste of what most know as Victory, once more."
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