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JimCaedus · (08-17-2021)

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CAEDUS TIMELINE REWIND: Last time on Then and Now...we discovered that in the 8 weeks Jim had been working for McDonald's, he'd made a business arrangement with his manager (Mike Harris) for selling off the last of his product from his grow in Palmdale, CA while waiting for his perpetual grow at home to hit it's first harvest. Taking the money for the last pound he'd sold to Mike, Jim purchased a bevy of newborn baby items and was heading for home when-

Continued directly from "Then and Now p.9" in "A Fuckin' Cortastrophe"
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=41600

---March 2020---

Roughly 30 minutes later Jim rolls the fully loaded Lincoln to a stop at a red light, right blinker clicking away as he waits for the opportunity to turn right onto the bridge connecting to Naples Island and home.

This aughta make Holly happy for awhile, no more stress about bein' prepared. No more doubting if I'll be a good daddy. Temporarily get 'er off my back before the next reason to spazz; ball bustin' bi-

Jim's inner monologue trails off, his eyes tracking a 1998 metallic plum Saturn 4-banger- Holly's car -as it turns left off the bridge going the opposite way.

Holly either doesn't notice or doesn't look at Jim as she passes by. Jim's eyes follow in the rearview until her vehicle vanishes from sight-

::HOOOOOOOOONK!!::

Flinching back to life, Jim makes a right turn onto the bridge and heads for home...

"Then and Now p.10"

For an hour since arriving home Jim had been busy setting up Elora's room (located just across the second floor hallway from his own master bedroom), too excited to care how far in advance it was, and was now finishing loading the washing machine with her first sets of clothing and mittens.

Starting the wash, Jim walks into the kitchen from the attached garage, heads to and opens the fridge.

His hand hovers hesitantly over a bottle of APEX IPA...he snags a bottle of water instead, closes the door, twists off the cap and takes a drink while entering the living room and taking a seat on the black leather couch facing the flatscreen and the XWF memorabilia adorning the wall behind it.

In the silence Jim's swallow is audible. He raises the bottle for a second swig, his eyes scanning the walls...

Over in the block of posters and photos repping obstacles yet (or never) to overcome, Jim's icy blues settle on the one, the only

[Image: oMSDCVt.jpg]

With a curl of his lip, he flips his fleeting former Tag Champ partner Dexter Brite the bird and allows his eyes to wander to the wall behind the flatscreen and the section displaying a dozen or so photos of

APEX

His gaze travels from picture to picture, one in particular of Robert, Jim and Drew dressed as hookers in an effort to infiltrate Snoop Dogg's house (long story, it involves the mob) elicits an amused snort in reminiscence.

Jim pulls his smartphone free, taps on contacts and scrolls to MAIN......

He taps MAIN and the phone icon.

It rings on the opposite end...........................

A generic outgoing message begins to play, Jim hangs up and places the phone on the couch beside him.

Turning his attention to the TV, he switches it on and scans through the channels...

...finally giving up and initiating internet programming, selecting XWF•24/7 after a pause...

A promotional package for March Madness 2020 is currently playing on the "Sayors Says" channel. Jim selects "Sayors Says"...

...his eyes widening upon seeing Robert Main teaming with a name Jim isn't completely unfamiliar with.

Chris Page... He was in the fed awhile back wasn't he?

...And he and Bob are a tag team now, goin' for the Titles at March Madness...

A slight twinge of sadness betrays Jim's otherwise poker face visage.

Jim plucks his phone from the couch and again calls MAIN.

..................Hello?

Who the-

Hello? Bob-O?

Nah this is Chris Page, who's this?

Chris Page? He's answering Bob's phone?

Hey bro, it's Caedus.

Who?

Caedus. ...Jim Caedus.

.........I'm sorry, who is this again?

Jim Caedus, I was in APEX with Main and Drew. I know we've never met before but-

Polite tone. Oooooh riiiight, Jim Caedus! I have heard of you! Didn't you beat up Main and Drew a year ago and quit the XWF? What's going on brother?

Yeah I...I made some serious mistakes. I'd like to apologize to 'im for-

Oh that's all water under the bridge man, water under the bridge. He's forgotten all about it; no apology necessary Jim.

The barest of frowns. Are...are you sure? Did he say he was over it?

Well he doesn't talk about it is the thing, he has his plate full with our upcoming tag title match at March Madness. You should see him, he's been doing very well for himself since you left. He's a real titan and a phenomenal teammate.

A twitch of the right eye. Is he there? Can you hand him the-

He's actually busy at the moment brother, do you want me to have him call you back?

Oh... I mean yeah bro for sure. Thank you.

Not a problem Jim, it was nice meeting you.

Same here bro. Have a good one.

......Jim checks the screen: call ended. Slowly he places the phone back onto the couch.

Good... That's good.

Good for Bob-O. He deserves a teammate he can depend on and trust.

Page seems to be friendly as fuck. Seems to have Main's back.

...Where'd Drewski go?

...I guess APEX is a thing 'a the past...

Yeah, surprise asshole, you're the one who killed it. They'll never forgive you for that. ...And you wanted to make your return? It's too late.

With a hard swallow, Jim closes "Sayors Says" and exits out of XWF•24/7, exits out of the internet content entirely, leaving a blank, black screen.

He raises his bottle of water for the third and final dri-

A car door slams shut out front.

Holly must be home.

He downs the rest of the water and crushes the bottle before reapplying the cap and rising from the couch. He drops the recyclable just inside the kitchen into a hanging plastic grocery bag full of the same and heads to the front doors, unlocking and opening.

No sign of Holly or her vehicle.

Hell is she? It's getting dark...

Jim closes and locks the doors then makes a beeline for the fridge, snatching an APEX IPA bottle, twisting the cap off and snapping it into the trash.

::GLUG GLUG GLUG::

DINK! The empty hits another in the trash.

Jim snatches a second and final remaining APEX IPA, repeats.

DINK!

The jangle of keys in pocket.

The click-snap of a locking deadbolt.

The roar of ignition.

Jim backs the Lincoln mark VIII out of the garage and takes off, the automatic door sliding back down securely.

TO BE CONTINUED

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"Callin' All Cors"

SPIKE SPITELY: Good evening Universe and welcome to XWF NEWS, I'm Spike Spitely. Tonight on Evening Edition...

-XWF enhancement talent Charlie Nickles is still in critical condition. Still no one cares. ...That's actually the full story right there. .......GEE, that's a tad meanspirited and most likely inaccurate. I'm sure his mother cares if she's still among the living. Hey Phil? Who's on prompter?

Jim Caedus, giggling, sneaks out of the producer's booth leaving those inside tied up.

Back on set and bliiiiinded by the liiight, Spitely squints but can't see anyone so he shrugs and returns his attention to the camera.

-The Shooting Star and Internet Championships are back baby and still in the hands of Double..."Champeen" Atara Themis, aka Atty Two Belts. We're going to give you a rundown on the newly expanded Shooting Star division and the competition the alluring Atara can look forward to facing!

-We've got an interview with July OTM recipients XWF Hart Champion Thaddeus Fluke and violent wannabe wolf-banger Marf Swaysons!

-Drew Archyle drops by to teach us his favorite sea shanties with special guest Cap'n Dick Powers!

-Robert Main smokes a cigar and whoops an ass then offers an editorial on why whiskey is the best, followed by a rebuttal from Drew Archyle on why dark chocolate almond milk is the best!

-"Nefarious" Ned Kaye gives us his recipe for evil "eggy bread" with swooning special guest chef Geri Vayden!

-And Universal Champion Alias is set to Eat The Beast next Savage...and hopefully shit him back out so APEX can stitch him up and fuck his blown out old man's assho- Ok this is ridiculous. Someone fix the prompter script. Please and thank you.

All that to come and believe it or not, MORE, but first, moving on to our top story...

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Where is XWF Xtreme Champ and Mister 24/7 Corey Sue-Ellyn Smith? While seen- Spies the graphics. "Cornapped? Has anyone seen this douchebag?" Phil, who's on graphics?

A giggling Drew and Main sneak out of the producer's booth leaving all inside still tied up.

As camera B switches to camera A, Spike Spitely spins his chair on point to face our new POV like a pro.

SPIKE SPITELY: While seen opting in to the Warfare on Wednesday the 18th and actively being pinned and kicking out in the XWF'S 24/7 Halls, Mister Smith has been glaringly absent on the XWF Warfare airwaves, no showing the first week of promotional content. Experts suggest something is very wrong with the young superstar, citing an alarming decline in cognitive ability. His next opponent, former Xtreme Champ Jim Caedus, has-

::indecipherable out of mic range ranting::

SPIKE SPITELY: -has a different theory, or quite a few theories rather. Welcome one of tonight's guests...member of APEX, the XWF'S Top 50 Of All Time #6, former Universal, Tag, Trios and Television Champ and most recently former Xtreme Champion...Jim Caedus.

Taking a seat beside him, smiling cooly to the camera. Then, to- Sup Spike.

Nodding politely. Hello Jim. A lot of former championships there.

Kill yourself Spike.

So Jim, why don't you tell us your theories on what's behind Corey Smith's hype cycle absence and otherwise deteriorating condition?

Rests his right ankle on his left knee. Well, Spike, ya see... Corey's a pussy. The end. Prologue prequel...Corey Sue-Ellyn Smith was conceived when 'is father spitballed my semen into 'is mother's yawning cum chasm. It's better that Corey never knew 'em; for as my son, I would never want 'im to suffer such disgrace. Prequel sequel...Corey- or rather as his surrogates affectionately referred to 'im as: "the foodstamp fetus" -was born on Wheneverthefuckday and was surrendered to junkies in exchange for a really nice DVD player (without the remote tho) as soon as momma was discharged. As a pussy, Corey couldn't take the sweet sweet narcotics like an OG without an OD like, well, a pussy. Somehow it all worked out though 'cause Corey ended up filthy rich buildin' shit like Coreytopia so I musta been a DAMN good absent daddy. Anyway, original reboot...Corey's simply a ropey, rusty, rotten-tomato-scented soulless gape of a thoroughly pounded puffy pussy and I'm embarrassed to call 'im my spawn. The end.

Glancing first to our camera POV then to Jim. ...Wwwwell I'm sorry to disagree with you Jim but none of that is true and the guy clearly is and has been having some problems. Even since before War Games.

Yeah no shit, when is a sociopath NOT having problems? It must get awfully tiring playin' the part 'a hero when you're in fact a villain. Probably a pedophiliac serial killer as well and been killin' cats and dogs since he was seven.

That's...also not true and not at all what I meant.

Of course it isn't, you're an in-house journalist Spike. But lemme go ahead and cut you off there and address what you really "mean"; something is physically slash mentally wrong with Corey Smith, correct? THAT'S what's goin' on here, amirite?

That IS what would seem to be the case, Jim.

That's why you're an idiot, Spike. You tellin' me you can't smell it? You can't smell Engy II makin' 'is fuckin' return? Has everyone forgotten what was happenin' in 'is head a few months ago? That battle between Lux and Iggy? Then what HAD to be Engy II- ~~barrin' any brand new entity outta passive retaliation for a call out~~ -leveling a sword at Lux's throat for control? Wake the fuck up Spike. Legacy's Fuzz Warstein's little murder attempt- that's what it was btw, attempted murder, how tf is this guy considered a face? -with the "stroke potion" injection clearly didn't kill Engy II. And now he wants out and we all know Corey LOOOOOOVES bein' a murderous skank so he's gonna LET 'IM out.

Aghast. Jim, look at the poor kid. He's-

Oh my _GOD_ with the ignorance, I just can't. You're such a greasy little kiss ass.

Little? I'm a good nine inches taller than you Jim. Jim shoots Spike an emotionless "I'ma kill you or somethin' else horrible" gaze. I'm shorter than you Jim and I am very much a greasy little kiss ass.

Jim nods and smiles. You absoLUTELY are, Spike. Another "kill you" gaze. Spike flinches, Jim laughs. Jesus jittery clown Christ, I'm only kiddin' bro. Anyhoo, look, no matter how you slice it, Corey's a coward and a pussy. Whatever the fuck is physically and or mentally wrong with 'im right now is no one's fault but 'is own. Dude's genetically inferior, weak, and yet at the same time more or less unstoppable, go figure- but for the purposes of my argument and what we've all been shown throughout the course of Cor's time here outside the ring, he's a weakling and always has been.

Well Jim I'd say surviving what he has- multiple strokes, overdosing, the punishment he's absorbed in the ring -makes him one tough cookie and what we're seeing now is the fallout. Corey Smith has only gotten stronger otherwise.

Ok, number one: survivin' a stroke doesn't make one stronger, it's a medical fact it weakens you. So there's that. Number two: I survived death itself, murder, without the benefit of some godlike entity hackin' and hijackin' my useless carcass and makin' me a muppet like Corey is. I died, it didn't take, I woke up. Legit. And I came back from that to achieve the greatest successes in my career..._so far_. Who the fuck's the tough cookie here? Who's the stronger?

"Overdosing"? Pathetic. Corey just can't handle his drugs and/or is too stupid to know when to say when.

"The punishment he's absorbed in the ring"?

I've been competing in this business since the age of 16, Spike.

16.

Corey is what, nineteen?

How much physical damage d'you think I've absorbed over the DECADES? How many times I've degenerated to a monosyllabic lump 'a limp-dick? How many times someone has "put me out"?

A couple? Three or four ti-

It was RHETORICAL dipshit! NEVER! I've NEVER- Counts off on his fingers. -taken time off to refresh (I've only ever been fired, forced to leave or left of my own accord with a massive meltdown), I've never been "put out of action" (I've only FOUGHT through each and every injury), I've never been successfully merked (in or outta this business I might add, tho there've been attempts...right Chaos? Lulz.

) and I've never been anything less than 100% willin' regardless 'a burnin' out, I just took my losses and moved on.

So if whatchoo say is true, Spike, Corey is too weak to be in this biz. He can't take the physicality, he can't take the mental drain, he ain't even in control of 'is own brain for Christsake...and I don't give a FUCK what ails 'im at this point, I'm APEX.

APEX.

An APEX predator doesn't give a shit if the opposing potential prey is dead or dyin', an APEX predator is prone to predation...with the sick and dyin' most often servin' as the main Cors. It ain't heel, it's nature. And if you REALLY think, Spike, that _Corey Smith_ is gonna show up to that ring anything less than tryna take me out- or honest to God NOT drop at least ONE video promo durin' this hype cycle -then you forget how HE CHALLENGED THADDEUS, you underestimate his intelligence and ya don't understand the magnitude 'a that jag-off's ego.

But IF for whatever reason he doesn't show up...

...I'll hunt 'im down and per 24/7 Xtreme Rules I'll savage that cowardly cocksucker and collect MY Xtreme strap anyway.

Mine.

I haven't finished with it yet and no pack, ploy or pity party'll prevent me from takin' it back. COREY SMITH IS FINE, this is a SCAM. Spike opens his mouth to sp- Corey, that X is mine, FUCK whatever scheme you got goin'. When I hit that ring I'ma eat your lunch...and I mean after rippin' into your stomach with my bare teeth ya punk motherFUCKER.

Jim rises and storms off camera.

Spike looks to our POV with a raise of the eyebrows. Someone is not happy.

Elated smile. Coming up next, a stray cat the producer's started feeding a few months ago just had KITTENS!

Extremely somber. Followed by: Rel Dixon found drowned face down in her water dish. Witnesses claim she was in a heated debate over kayfabe with her own reflection.

But first, a word from our promotional sponsors...

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XXX#XKXIXLXLXXXCXOXRXEXYXXX

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