Here we have it. A nice and oddly warm day in March.
Morbid Angel and Mastermind are seen walking down the street together. Morbid in his suit, Mastermind in black leather and a hat looking grumpy as hell.
The two decided to do some bonding if they were going to work together. After all they were supposed to be a team and not just two guys in it for the gold.
Morbid Angel is all about making new friends these days, not to mention Mastermind stands about the same size as him. Makes him feel more normal.

The two were walking, going door to door to talk about the lord.

The way Morbid Angel looked at it like this. He goes door to door, people that have seen him on TV or heard of him will see him as a celebrity. He wants to get more people to join his church.
The more people he has join, the more people will donate and the more popular he will become. That’s what this entire thing is about.
No one in the XWF wants to be some normal guy. Everyone wants to be famous; everyone wants to be popular and they play into what their fans want. Morbid Angel was famous for other things before he started his mega church now, he was beyond internationally famous. He had fans in multiple levels of the world.
Going door to door was his way of getting more people involved.
After all, shit doesn’t pay for itself. It takes money to keep the lights on, even though everything is tax free, some bills are still due.



“So, Mastermind…what’s your real name?” Morbid said trying to strike up a conversation. Mastermind was looking rather unpleasant.
He did not want to go out. It was originally supposed to be just a meet up to discuss tactics but, Morbid Angel is rather persuasive when he wants to be and talked him into going along with him on this day.



“I don’t have a name.” He said in a low voice. A very matter of fact tone.
Morbid Angel was not going to accept that answer. Why should he? He knows that every man on the planet has a name. Might be a stupid name but it is still a name.



“No, you have a name. I want to know what it is. I have a right to know. The entire world knows my real name so it’s not a big secret…Do you have a weak name? Is that it?” Morbid said as he rested his hand on Masterminds shoulder in a way to mockingly console him for the possibility of having a weak name.



“No.” Mastermind replied in a very matter of fact tone.


Morbid Angel was not having any of that shit. He wanted to know and when there is a question he wants answered he is like an annoying creature that won’t stop.
Can you blame him?


“Now that were partners, we need to be more open with each other. I know I never actually joined the Misfits but still…were a team and I’m not going to go around calling you Mastermind all fucking day.”



Mastermind said nothing. Morbid Angel stops walking and Mastermind took a few more steps before stopping himself and looking at Morbid.


“I’m going to give you a name if you don’t tell me what weak as fucking name you have. This isn't a game! THIS IS SERIOUS SHIT!” he yelled. Forgetting that he was in a neighborhood that he was trying to solicit for church. He quickly covered his mouth with his hand and shot an evil glare at Mastermind.


“Fine!” He said in a stern whisper.


“I’ll just call you Killian. Seem’s like a good enough name for you. And if you don’t like it, you can just kiss my holy ass!” Morbid Said as he walked off towards a nearby house.


Mastermind followed quietly shaking his head. I think at this point he realized he joined with a crazy person. Someone sucked into their own delusions of something they tried to be and slightly failed…but only in the faith department. He did manage to build something incredible with just the knowledge of the bible and a few possibly misquoted passages.

Mastermind follows Morbid Angel. Not exactly sure what the point of all this was. He knew that it was to draw people to his church but why.
What was the need to go door to door and solicit people to join his church like one of those annoying groups that go around trying to save people on their front porches.


Mastermind catches up to him just as he was about to knock on someone’s door.

The house was not overly large, it had a nicely kept yard and a brand-new car in the driveway. Obviously people that have their shit together. Perhaps this is why Morbid chose this house first.


He knocks on the door then straightens up his jacket and runs his fingers through his hair to fix it before the door opens.



No answer.



He knocks again. This time a little harder hoping the reverberation inside will draw someone to the door.
He did not take into account that perhaps two large men such as themselves might push people away from the door if they look through the peephole first.
Especially with Killian looking as grumpy as ever.
Poor Killian.
He didn’t want to be apart of any of this but there was always something about Morbid that convinced people to do things.
Perhaps it was his charisma that caused people to listen and follow. It’s hard to pinpoint what it was but whatever it was it definitely worked.
Not saying that Killian had a weak mind to follow but he was convinced by something.

Either way, the door slowly opens.
On the other side was an older woman, probably in her late 60’s.
She looked like she was pretty comfortable in life, wore makeup, had on nice clothes even though they weren’t new clothes but at one point they were in style.

Morbid smiles as Mastermind stands there with a grumpy look on his face. The two were complete opposites.



“Hello ma’am, do have a few moments to talk about your lord and savior?” Morbid said as he opens his bible to a random page preparing for her to say yes.


“Actually, my TV show is on right now. Let’s Make a Deal is my favorite.” She said as she slowly started to close the door.


“But aren’t you concerned about the burning in hell for all eternity? A Hot, fire filled hell with nothing but Pain, torture and anguish with Burning, and screaming and you’ll cry forever because of the everlasting agony. Forever and ever.”



The woman stopped closing the door and looked at him. Morbid still had the same smile on his face. Mastermind was now looking at Morbid with a curious look. I mean, that came off as a threat of eternal damnation with some descriptive burning and torture shit.
What the fuck.
To talk to an old woman that is so close to death like that.
But what the hell. It’s Morbid were talking about here.



“I don’t think you understand what being a christian is. It’s not about threatening the damnation if I don’t want to speak to you. I am busy.” She said as the door started to close faster.

Morbid was having none of that shit. He stuck his foot in the door to block it from closing.



“Were not done here yet! You will hear me out. IN THE NAME OF JESUS!”


Morbid pushed the open bible through the opening in the door and into the woman’s face. She screamed for help as she tried to slam the door but couldn’t because of the larger Morbid Angel on the other side holding it open.


“Hear me out!” He yelled into the house as he pressed his face into the crack of the door.


“It’ll just take a minute!”



“No! Go away before I call the cops!” She said as she struggled to keep the door closed but was no match for his strength. Morbid pushed the door open causing the woman to fall backwards, hitting her head on a near by table. She stopped moving once her body hit the floor.

Morbid slowly pushed the door open all the way so he could see better.


“Miss?” He said, his tone was much quieter this time, almost like he was trying to wake her from her sleep.


Morbid looked at Killian, Killian looked at Morbid. The two stared at each other for a few moments. Morbid reaches into the house and grabs the door and slowly closes it then wipes his fingerprints off the knob before turning around.



“What the fuck was that?” Killian said as Morbid started to walk of the porch.



“That, Killian, was divine justice. She should have listened to the word of god!”


“Don’t call me Killian!” He said as he grabbed onto Morbid’s shoulder.


“Killian!”









And here we have it. Morbid Angel at home again. He looked a little roughed up but what else could you expect after a long day of preaching the good word?
He was sitting there in his home office.
Even though he was a changed man does not mean he didn’t like to have nice things. The office was covered with oak bookcases filled with books. Books about every religion and every version of the bible and their stories. Something everyone in this profession should know. Morbid heeded to know every area of every religion to make this work.
Besides, what kind of religious leader would he be if he was ignorant to religion itself?

Other than the many bookcases in the room, he had a large desk. Like the one in his church, it had pieces of paper covering the top of it, his notes for everything. Something he was good at was taking notes. To retain most of the abundance of information he had collected over the last couple years.

There he was, sitting behind the desk looking at the camera.






“OK, first of all. I don’t know what this entire other federation shit is. I am in no other federation!

I, Morbid Angel, am in one federation.

The other Federation Has a different guy, different style and he doesn’t even look anything like me.
Do I look like I do steroids? No.
Do I look like I have long hair? No.
What’s the fucking deal with both of you two bumbling idiots thinking you have me pegged for someone else? I mean, look at this guy. Yeah, he looks like a younger me when I was in my prime but seriously…think about it. And for Christ’s sake, pay attention!”



Morbid stands up and walks over to a filing cabinet by the wall and opens it.



“And Who gives a shit if they have Xbux or not. I don’t care about any other federation other than the one I’m currently working in and you two just made yourselves look dumb as shit by trying to play the “Morbid’s in another federation” card.
Yeah, that just blew up in your face. If you two imbeciles took the time to actually pay attention other than just listening to what rumors are circulating around, you would have noticed that we are two different people.
Yes, there is another Morbid Angel. So what. There is another Chris Chaos. Why don’t you go harass him about being in two federations with wild accusations. But no, you wouldn’t do that. What is there to gain by talking shit about dear old Chris Chaos.
You just wanted to talk shit about me by just pointing your greasy fucking fingers and saying “oooooh, that’s his name? Fuck it, it’s him!”
Grow up a little guys. I know its hard to play like your out of high school and there are better things to do other than just assuming and casting judgments on people with not a scrap of proof.”



He grabs a folder after shuffling through the cabinet for a while. The folder was not very full, maybe had a page or two in it for whatever it was.




“I actually challenge you to find proof that this other federation’s Morbid Angel is me. I challenge you. He shoots promos, he does photo shoots I am sure. I dare you to find something that links him to me. Take your time and watch closely. Pay attention to everything I do and everything he does.
I’m not talking about finding something from my past here in the XWF and saying proof. I’m talking now. here and now. Find this proof. Link us together and I will get down on all fours and let you two have your way with me in the ring.”



Morbid sets the folder aside and grabs a remote off the desk and turns on a large tv on the back wall and begins to watch a little of Robbie Bourbon and Thunder Knuckles promo. He had already started it but he wanted to make sure he touched on everything he needed to touch on.




“I am more legend than talent these days? Is that what you said Robbie?
I am shocked you believe that. I may have lost a few times in my past, but I am onto something good now. I am undefeated since I’ve returned and I have to say, it feels good!
I think what you need to realize is this.
Talent is only what you can draw in the way of fans. The more fans you have the more emotion you have and the drive to win. So, by being a legend, I have the fans to back me up and their cheers drive me towards winning because I don’t want to disappoint those people that pay good money to see me fight. I have a reputation to uphold here.”



He watches a little more. Very little more before stopping the clip again and laughed.



“I guess I was right on all accounts. Going to the glorious insults of calling me dumb, stupid…not smart. Using every little jab you can to try and get under my skin because yes, it takes a dumb person to run a church. Yes, it takes a dumb person to be so successful as I have been. I must be full on raging idiot juice pouring right out of my fucking ears.
What is up with that being the biggest insult people can muster? I mean, fuck, I know I used it against you but that was because, again, you guys were being stupid with accusations.
Where is your proof that I was stupid?
Jesus Fucking Christ on the cross, where is the proof that I lost to Mastermind? When did this happen? Where? How? And where the fuck was I when it happened? Did I take a nap in the ring? Was I in a coma?
Now you guys are just making shit up.

OK, if we are going to make up stories then I guess I will join you.

Robbie is a closeted crossdresser that likes it when Thunder Knuckles pokes fingers up his butthole. It’s a game for them.
Completely true. Nothing made up here…nope. 100% honest.
AND!!!
I have evidence!”




Morbid looks directly into the camera


“Robbie, look me in the eye and say it’s not true. I mean, really look my in my eye and say this never happened. None of that shifty eyes shit. Just tell the truth. “


Morbid then opens the folder and pulls out a pen from the drawer. What is says could not be seen but the header was a contract of some sort from a real estate company. He signs it and closes the folder. He then presses play again on the television remote.


“You said that you are powerful and going to crush everything and you said “fuck” a lot. Sounds like you guys have a little bit of ROID-RAGE going on.
I know when I see it. I’ve been there before but one thing you guys would never expect is that beneath all that muscle is nothing but bones. You will get winded faster because muscles take a lot of oxygen to maintain. Those large, ballooned muscles you have from all the injecting you do. That causes your stamina to fall. While I am still in shape, I opted to not use performance enhancing drugs to get me to where I am now. I could run a motherfucking marathon and still out lift you


You then go on to say how we are blasts from the past. How is that so? We are still here and the last I checked you guys have been here for a while too so it is one of those things where I can say that YOUR time has passed, YOUR better days are behind you…But I’m above that. Praise Jesus!


You said “trashing those fucking Cuntinuum pricks”. When was the last time you thoroughly “thrashed” anyone? I’ve watched the XWF quite regularly and I can say that you two have taken your fair share of beatings. On the regular even. It’s cute that you now want to play tough against two people that have struck fear into so many for so long.
It’s almost like you are trying to disguise your fear with this false bravado.
I am man enough to say MAYBE.
MAYBE we will win.
MAYBE we will lose.
MAYBE Robbie will learn how to talk proper English
MAYBE Thunder Knuckles will stop advocating masturbation on TV.

No false aspirations here.
Maybe I’m missing the point here of verbally “thrashing” you?
Either way, I think I’m making you both my bitch. “




Morbid leans back in his chair and exhales at the cringeworthy content that he just watched. The shame and embarrassment he has for these two men was something that no one could have expected.



“Pretenders? What the fuck?
I think you misunderstand the true meaning of the word “Pretender”.
A pretender is a person who claims or aspires to a title or position.
What are we pretending at? I believe we are in fact real people who are doing real things in a real federation to win real titles and we actually do real things outside of the ring that do not include drugs and drinking. Explain this, that is if you pay attention enough to hear it. Explain to me how we are pretenders. I am curious to this answer.
My church is real, the people that come to see me are real, Mastermind and whatever he has going on is real. So, elaborate on that statement if you can.

Robbie, your confidence is astounding. You claim that you are so much better than me and Mastermind but you have done very little to prove it.
You shot your mouth off about a lot of wild and uncertain things, making claims that you can’t back up and really, your musical sucked ass.
There, I said it. It was terrible. “




Morbid gets up once again from the desk and walks closer to the TV and turns to look at the camera again like he was about to sing his own song…





You also claimed that I got pissy when you two stepped forward to claim your shot at the tag titles.
How did I get pissy? I don’t remember being pissy.
I remember exhaling sharply and being like, really. Really, these two are going after the titles now? Where were they a month ago?
I think you guys just want to let the champions keep their titles. You go on and on about Xbux and maybe that’s what drives you to do all this shit. They are paying you guys to block any contenders at the titles. Why? I can understand greed, but this is just fucking stupid. You guys talk in circles. It’s not even really funny when I knew what you were going to say before you said it. The only thing that caught me off guard was when you two went on about a different guy in another federation. How fucking stupid are you? It’s like the gift of ignorance that keeps on giving with you guys.

As for waiting in line? Couldn’t you have challenged them before this? After all how long have you two been together?
We attacked you because it seemed fun…actually it was fun and I will add that it was easy to put you guys down. So easy it makes me laugh. A chair shot and you crumple like piece of paper. You couldn’t even fight back a little, you just lay there like two fat hogs wallowing in their own shit and piss. “



That was no song! That was just more shitting on his opponents bullshit. How dare he get us all excited for some epic Morbid song when it was just going to be more epic crushing of their souls.

He starts to walk out of the room leaving the cameraman behind but turns at the last second.


“Oh, before I forget…Bartholomew? Now I’m Bartholomew? Is this your thing, to accuse people of being other people when it is clearly not the case. I can understand if you could not see my face or body and making such a claim, if you couldn’t hear my voice and it was just some random dialog you could make those accusations and they may hold a little better than this. This is really grasping at straws here. I’m Morbid Angel number 2, I’m Bartholomew. Next, I’ll be Shane himself, right?”



He turns and leaves the room and the scene fades to a Blood Red!