LIVE!!! FROM THE RALPH ENGELSTAD ARENA IN GRAND FORKS, NORTH DAKOTA! THE RALPH!!! Liam Roberts - vs - Dean Rose NO HOLDS BARRED!!!! Referee: Mika Hunt Lord Raab - vs - Valerie Valdivostok Referee: Richard Wang Tula Keali'i - vs - Barney Green Referee: Ari Silverstein SPIRITUAL INTERLUDE! A RITUAL SUN DANCE FROM THE LAKOTA SIOUX TRIBE! Scarlet the Hunteress & Savannah Knightley - vs - Tommy Wish & John Black (T.H.U.G.S.) War Cry Match! Vinnie Lane has NO CLUE what Native Americans do, so THIS MATCH will have a ring surrounded my massive speakers blaring loud music, deafening the combatants the whole time! Referee: Chaz Bobo Kenzi Grey - vs - Solace Tatum X-Treme Rules! Referee: MARTY A WORD FROM MISS FURY! VINNIE LANE SITS DOWN WITH MISS FURY TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT! NON-TITLE BOUT "Notorious" Ned Kaye - vs - Ruby Referee: John X EVEN MAINER MAIN EVENT Sarah Lacklan - vs - Bridget "Big Sky" Bullet Five Count Match! A typical three count won't do - it's gotta be five! Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif

INTRO - SAR

EYES




ON




ANARCHY

The red spotlight shines down as the lights dim...once again cutting off poor Vinnie...and Sarah Lacklan walks out onto the entrance ramp. This time wearing a silver and blue gown which sparkles in the light with diamond dust...yes, actual diamond dust...and sleeves puffy enough to hide both Oswald’s AND Barney’s beards, she takes a moment to brandish her Billion $$$ Smile for the first of what shall be many times tonight. Those pearly whites shine as brightly as the net of emeralds in her bright porcelain hair and make a certain hippie/cultist/Candaian/CatMom/ForeverAloneSpinster turn green with envy. She then makes her way down the aisle with the smooth steps of a dancer as Eric Calderone freakin’ SHREDS on the faster Moonlight Sonata movement. As the obligatory Heel Authority Figure approaches the ring, she motions and gestures towards the variety of nameless and faceless XWF staff members until they do what is absolutely, 100% part of their contract:

Making a human staircase.

Sarah climbs the human staircase, rather than use the provided steel steps, making sure to “accidentally” twist her feet so that the heel of her spiked boots press down into napes of necks and smalls of backs. Once standing upon the apron, she wipes her heels across the mat, because she is a student of wrestling (See: Of Gods and Men), slips between the bottom two ropes, and walks to the center of the ring. Tig O'Bitties rushes over with a microphone and those oddly red rat eyes don’t even budge ONE CENTIMETER to the jumping boulders Kenzi, tysm.

Sarah: HIIIIIII-iiiiiiiii!

Sarah’s greeting is met by the usual mix of cheers and boos that all sound like the raucous applause of card-carrying Fang Gang members to her.

Sarah: This is your reason for being, the person and profession envy of every Ruby watercolor painting, and YOUR Anarchy Commissioner, Sarah Lacklan-

She flips her braid back and again flashes that expensive smile.

Sarah: And I wanted to welcome EVERYONE here at the Ralph to the A show of the XWF...Thursday Night Anarchy! Tonight, despite some shady-as-flame booking by one Vinnefred Bella Lane, you will see wrestling the way God wants it, wrestling between men and women who appreciate rules and regulations! Now, if you will all take out your playbills and follow along with me on the Rules of Anarchy…

Sarah gestures to the VinnieTron behind her to bring attention to her slideshow presentation of the Rules of Anarchy, in case anyone forgot:

• No Flippy Stuff (You MAY jump off the top rope ONCE per match, but without flourish, spin, twist, or rotation)
  
• No pottymouths! (aka, The Ruby Rule)
  
• No Weapons/Hardcore wrestling (God loathes that garbage!)
  
• Must be at Anarchy events at least two hours before opening bell (To be early is to be on time!)
  
• Must stay for entire show (You can't improve without watching stars like me!)
  
• Must provide ALL required promotional material (No one likes a Silent Sally!)
  
• No outside interference (Win your matches clean...like when I defeated Roxy for the UGWC Global Championship!)
  
• Must attend pre-show slide-show presentation (there will be a test!)
  
• No making fun of Ruby (That's MY job!)
  

Sarah: Now, as we all enjoy the importance of my rules, I invite you all to dip into your popped corn...not any of that gross popcorn, obvs...and enjoy tonight’s show! Because you will get to see Mika Hunt be bored out of her mind while officiating a match between a perennial jobstar Liam and our newest “Swearing makes me teh hardcores!” competitor in Dean Rose; Valerie “Totes NOT Vita Valenteen...why do you keep making that joke?” Valdivostok against some new guy whose name I didn’t catch; Tula beating down Barney so bad you’ll wonder why people thought he was interesting for five seconds, or whatever; an wonderful dance performance by YOUR local Sioux Native Americans which will likely be broken up on some loser’s pathetic attempt to feel cool or important; the Thuggies getting another one of their much sought-after “gimmies” against a chick whose entire persona is “OMG I IZ HOT” and is one step away from being optionally hung...teaming with Shade of Grey #3 in the worthless Jerktastic Academy; my Beloved, the very FACE of Anarchy, ending the dreams of Solace, who I otherwise really like; a sitdown interview with Miss Fury...who STILL isn’t here and holy CRAP is she going to be facing a MAJOR fine; Ned Kaye sleepwalking his way into another L against my (almost) best buddy Ruby; and in the MAINER event of the evening-

Sarah pauses here and a glint of mischievousness enters her eyes.

Sarah: Funny story, that.

Sarah backs up into a corner and then pushes herself up so that she can rest her infamous #SquatBooty in the seated position, the image of which has become so synonymous with her and the XWF that it’s literally on the giant posters outside the arena.

Sarah: See, I was in the back a few hours ago, right? I was prepping my slide-show presentation which everyone was on time for...well, except for Miss Fury, but more on THAT later...and while I was going over the importance of Rule #2...Big Money was taking some SERIOUS notes during this portion of the pre-show meeting, tee-bee-dubs...and I noticed Bridget sneaking notes to Savannah! During MY presentation! So, I STOPPED my presentation...which made the Thuggies SUPER sad, let me tell you...and put ALL of my attention on said note-passer. I asked this note-passer if they wanted to share what was SO FREAKIN’ IMPORTANT with the rest of the group, and they shied away, but thankfully the Rubrican busted out her Hall Monitor sash...ya know, the one Vinnie gave her when she first came around...and apprehended the notes. I think she also took a pager, wallet chain, and set of Sharpie markers and sent them to my office with the idea that they’d get them back after the semester, but I’m not sure.

N-E-Ways, this has resulted in I needing to take SWIFT and DECISIVE action. While I’m not exactly going to punish Sav-Knight for being the receiver of notes...well, certainly no more than nature, God, and genetics have already punished her with that nose of hers...sers legit, she might was to ask her mumsie if there was an affair with Taco or something...but the SENDER needs a STERN talking to. Mind you, I have already given her a strongly-worded letter to go into her permanent file, she ALSO needs a physical reminder of what happens when you disrespect the rule of law. Therefore, I have decided that tonight’s MAINER EVENT of the evening should, instead of ENDING the show, should START it. This way, Double B with the Double As can take all night to look in the mirror and realize her mistake. Thus, without further adieu, let’s get the note-passer out here.

A head of massive and wavy hair takes over the stage as Big Sky comes down the aisle to a song that, lets face it, this narrator was shocked to find literally matched her home town. Like, really, last week was on-the-nose and all, but THIS is just tragic. Down the aisle she comes, with trepidation in her step, her body encased in the 80s-style jumpsuit which I’m pretty sure is actually from Vinnie’s wardrobe. Meanwhile, in the ring, The Face of Anarchy, Kenzi Grey, has arrived in her warm-up gear to help Sarah out of the dress, which is a process that takes 10 minutes. Six rows of buttons and five layers of petticoats start to get taken off as as we cut to a quick commercial…..

[color=#FFD700]EVEN MAINER MAIN EVENT Sarah Lacklan - vs - Bridget "Big Sky" Bullet Five Count Match! A typical three count won't do - it's gotta be five! Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif

As we come back from the commercial break, Sarah stands in a corner, once again wearing one of her older sets of gear, the sleeveless red bodysuit which shows her large arms with the tattoos on the shoulders, and cuts off at the thighs to show her powerful legs. On commentary, Vinnie makes a comment about how it looks a BIT more snug than it USED to, something about apparently the Grey-Lacklan treadmill seems to have been broken during Sarah’s downtime. Thankfully for him, Sarah doesn’t actually watch this show, or anything, and won’t notice. Not like Roxy hasn’t already mentioned as much three times today. Across from her, with hair large enough to make her seem to stand a full foot taller than the Universal Champion-turned-Authority Figure, Bridget remains pensive about this entire ordeal. Outside the ring, all we see of Kenzi is the edges of her microbraids as she holds onto Sarah’s voluminous dress, careful to keep the expensive garment off the ground. Heaven forbid a spot of dirt end up on one of Sarah’s “Firestarter” dresses.

Miss Biggins makes her second appearance of the night bay sliding what looks to be a tablet into the ring. She presses a few buttons and our referee flares to life. The eyes of Sarah flash momentarily to her, and let's be honest, ol’ Dottie might as well have been made to catch her attention! Dot motions for the bell to be run and Sarah immediately runs forward, screaming all the way, and passes through the holographic image of the easy-on-the-eyes referee. Bridget doesn’t expect the veracity of the attack, nor the idea that it would happen literally through the referee, and can’t react in time, which results in Sarah’s heeled boot slamming into her stomach. As she doubles over, Sarah sets her feet and then launches one of those large legs, forcing the heel of her boot into the side of her head. Bridget’s eyes roll back in her head and her knees give out as she crumbles to the mat. Sarah doesn’t waste any time and, taking hold of that massive head of hair, pulls her up into a sitting position. She hits the ropes and, with a cry of “Kaminoikari!”, she slams her knee into the side of Big Sky’s head with a Shining Wizard. After Bridget falls back to the mat, her face up to the lights yet still unseeing, Sarah places her #SquatBooty on top of her chest and sits on her. Seeing the arrogant pin, Dot goes for the count.

1!




2!




3!




4!




Can she do it?!




CAN SHE KICK OUT?!



lolsarahwins



5!





Sarah pushes herself up to a standing position, nonchalantly wipes her boots on Bridget’s jumpsuit, and allows the holographic ref to pretend to raise her arm.

Winner by 5-Count Pinfall….and STILL the #1 Contender to the Anarchy Championship: Sarah Lacklan

Sarah slips out of the ring, but only long enough to go into her purse hanging from Kenzi’s waist. She pulls out one of her trademark notebooks and feathered pens and slides back into the ring. She jots down a few sentences on the pad in fine hand, rips out the paper from the pad, balls it up, and shoves it into the mouth of Bridget. She offers a few more stern words for Big Sky before giving one of her deep curtsies to the crowd.

That will teach people not to pass notes during her presentations!

Liam Roberts - vs - Dean Rose NO HOLDS BARRED!!!! Referee: Mika Hunt

Liam’s music hits and he comes charging out of the back like a maniac! He runs down the ramp slapping a few hands along the way before sliding into the ring and hopping up in the nearest corner with outstretched arms.


Vinnie Lane: "Wow dude, you have to wonder where all of that energy is when it’s promo time!"

The lights go purple as Dean Rose appears on the stage. He postures for the fans in a taunting fashion before heading down to the ring. On the stage we see a kid with his hand out just begging Dean to slap it. Dean stops and talks to the kid. We don’t hear what he says, but the kid begins to cry. Dean then slaps the kid's face causing his father to get involved and security to hold him back as Dean backs away laughing! Suddenly Dean is taken off his feet by Liam Roberts who clubs him from behind with a forearm!


Vinnie Lane: "Looks like Liam Roberts doesn’t appreciate big bullies picking on kids! I can’t say that I do either! Get him Liam!"


Liam continues the assault by hammering shot after shot across Dean Rose’s back as he tries to keep him off balance. Dean manages to regain his footing and blocks an incoming shot from Laim before returning with one of his own, a right hook straight to Roberts jaw! Liam stumbles back from the blow, and Dean steps in closing the gap. Dean whips Liam towards the barricade where he crashes into the metal gating and is left propped up by his arms across the railing. Dean moves in and grabs Liam by his hair before delivering a series of short hard rights to the forehead! Liam slinks down to the floor as Dean smack talks the father and kid from before. Security is still holding the enraged father back as Dean continues to laugh at him. Dean drags Liam to his feet and leads him to the ring before throwing him in under the bottom rope!


Vinnie Lane: "WOW dudes, this Dean Rose is a real asshole!"


Dean walks around to the steps and takes his time getting into the ring. Mika Hunt checks on Liam as she considers calling the match a no contest, but Liam assures her that he’s good to go as he climbs up to a knee.


Vinnie Lane: "Liam Roberts says he ain’t no bitch!"


Due to a technical error, we can hear Lane being warned about his language through his headset.


Vinnie Lane: "Oh, damn it!"


With Liam to his feet, cradling his head, and Dean Rose now in the ring talking shit, Mika calls for the bell and the match official begins as Dean and Liam circle around each other getting a feel and taking things slow after that opening brawl. Rose dares Roberts to make a move, seemingly unafraid of anything Liam might bring to the table. Liam doesn’t take the bait though, and the two eventually lock up in the center of the ring. Dean positions behind Liam and tries to lift him, but Liam kicks his feet wildly while deadweighting. Liam slips out and positions himself behind Rose with a waist lock, but Rose catches him with an elbow to the jaw that staggers Liam. Rose hits the ropes and on the rebound he flies in with a clothesline that drops Liam to the mat! Dean isn't done though, and sizes up Liam before dropping down with an elbow, but Liam rolls out of the way and beats Rose to his feet! Rose rushes in and is caught with a kick to the gut! He doubles over and eats a DDT for his efforts!


Vinnie Lane: "Hey, Liam Roberts just laid out the new guy!"


Liam doesn’t waste a second going for the cover!




Kickout!



Vinnie Lane: "And Dean Rose didn’t waste a second kicking out!"


Liam rolls off of Dean and beats him to his feet again. Liam rushes in and catches Dean with a dropkick that staggers him into the ropes. Liam pushes up to his feet, but is caught off guard when Rose rebounds off of the ropes with another clothesline that levels Roberts! Liam pushes up quickly, but he’s on shaky legs. Dean Rose whips him into the ropes and on the rebound catches him with a stiff Big Boot that seems to nearly remove Liam’s head from his body!


Vinnie Lane: "Powerful Big Boot from the new guy!"


Dean grabs Liam and jerks him up. He whips Liam into the corner, but somehow Liam reverses it and throws Dean into the corner instead! Dean hits chest first and stumbles back where Liam connects with another dropkick that sends Dean smashing into the corner again, this time hitting his head off of the top turnbuckle! Liam grabs him from behind and proceeds to hammer the hell out of him, taking him down to his knees as he continues to deliver shot after shot!


Vinnie Lane: "We’re watching Liam Roberts fight harder than I think we’ve ever seen before! Can he upset Dean Rose in his Anarchy debut!?"


Liam tosses Rose face first into the corner, propping his head up on the lower turnbuckle. Liam hops over him and to the top rope where he jumps down with a double foot stomp onto the back of Rose’s head, but Rose moves out of the way and rolls under the ropes to the outside!


Vinnie Lane: "Oh! So close! I have no doubt that this would have been over had Liam been able to connect!"


Dean takes a walk around the ring, clearing the cobwebs as Liam jumps out and follows. Liam grabs Dean from behind, but Dean fires off with a back elbow then whips Liam into the steps causing a loud crash! Dean grabs Liam and pulls him to his feet before leading him to the barricade and smashing his face into the steel! Liam lays on the ground recovering as Dean searches under the ring for a weapon. After a moment Dean emerges with a T-Shirt gun!


Vinnie Lane: "Hey I remember that thing! Why did we stop using it again!?"


Liam struggles to his feet. Rose aims the T-Shirt gun at him and fires! A black and red JoinBOB T-shirt flies out of the gun at a high velocity and cracks Liam right in the nose, causing blood to splatter everywhere!


Vinnie Lane: "Oh yeah! We had to settle with some kid we injured with that thing! I forgot that it fires T-Shirts off a 1200 feet-per-second, but I bet Liam Roberts doesn’t forget anytime soon!"


Dean Rose laughs as he tosses the T-shirt gun to the floor. He grabs a fist full of Liam’s hair and drags him to the ring. Dean rolls him in under the bottom rope and begins to dig under the ring again! He drags out a wooden table and slides it into the ring before sliding in behind it. Dean jumps to his feet and sets the table up in the center of the ring. Once done, he turns his attention back to Liam who hasn’t moved. Dean grabs him up and places him on top of the table. Dean then climbs up with him as the table begins to flex and look as though it could give way at any moment. Dean pulls Liam up to his feet and twists into a hangman’s neckbreaker that sends Liam crashing through the table! Dean Rose hooks the leg!




1!











2!!











3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Dean Rose

The following flashes across the screen.

RULE NUMBER FOUR: Everyone MUST be at the show AT LEAST two hours before the opening bell. Because to be early is to be on time!

Just before we cut to an external shot panning the arena. We fade to the parking area where a black CT6 Cadillac slowly pulls into the drive.

Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "I dunno who this is, but that's a Slick Black Cadillac dude!"

The chauffeur gets out and walks around the vehicle to open the rear passenger door and out steps Miss Fury in her full supervillain garb! The camera follows as she walks towards the entrance.

Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "Miss Fury is in the building! which is odd, because I was under the impression that she wouldn't be here tonight and that's why we had to pretape the sitdown interview!"

As Fury reaches the door, she is met by an annoyed Sarah Lacklan who is glaring a hole right through her while tapping her pen impatiently on a clipboard.

Sarah Lacklan: “You! Oh em gee YOU! HOW late are you?! Do you NOT know about Rule Number!? Does four mean NOTHING to you?! Look! Look!”

Sarah waves the notebook in her hand with wild movements.

Sarah Lacklan: “Look at the BEAUTY of my rules! Look at their MAJESTY! And WHY haven’t you been able to make the appointments I’ve sent you?! Don’t you DARE tell me that you are STILL employing that Neanderthal Todd! Because I said-

"Sorry dear, we ran into a spot of traffic along the way!"

Fury breezes past Sarah without care, which causes Sarah’s eyes to flare as she stares at the super villain’s back.

Sarah Lacklan: You be in my office later, or I swear to God, I’ll...hey! Come back here! I’m not done yelling at you, Mademoiselle Fureur!

Sarah follows behind Miss Fury as she continues to wave her notebook in the air.

Sarah Lacklan: “AND YOU DRIVE LIKE AN OLD BIDDY, TOO!”

Lord Raab - vs - Valerie Valdivostok Referee: Richard Wang

Valerie Vladivostok is seen in the ring as cameras return to the arena. She looks thrilled to be making her television debut, although she probably made her fake “Russian” costume herself, from the looks of it.


Vinnie Lane: “A double debut here on Anarchy… Lord Raab has been BLOWING UP the XWF switchboards, demanding to get access to Sarah Lacklan. As a result, he’s been booked here tonight against a lively young talent that is hoping to make her mark on this business!”

Monster by Skillet plays over the sound system as Lord Raab comes out through the curtain wearing his red and black wrestling trousers with his nickname The Green Disease German Monster on the front of them with Monster Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands and wears a black and red stripy mask and ignores the fans as he goes up the stairs before going in-between the ropes and crouches down in the corner moving backwards and forwards, rubbing his hands and moving his neck around while looking at his opponent with anger in his eyes while waiting for the match to start.


Vinnie Lane: “Here’s the Green Disease now! He looks like he means BUSINESS dude!”


Raab gets into the ring as the crowd chants RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB! It isn’t clear if this is a cheer meant to show their appreciation or their derision though. It also sounds a bit like a cat hacking up a hairball.

Cameras momentarily go backstage, showing Sarah Lacklan in a CHIC red business suit, standing to the side of a monitor while watching Lord Raab make his entrance. She seems to be making furious notes on a clipboard, as if studying Raab closely.


DING! DING! DING!!!


The bell sounds and Richard Wang steps aside. Vladivostok happily bounces to the center of the ring and looks for a congenial lockup with the German Monster…


CHOKEINATOR!

A SECOND CHOKEINATOR!!!

AND A THIRD CHOKEINATOR!!!!


Vinnie Lane: “Holy CRAP! Raab just grabbed Valerie by the neck and drilled her down into the mat repeatedly to start this match! Raab, relax, she’s new to this!”


CHOKEINATOR!

CHOKEINATOR!

CHOKEINATOR!

CHOKEINATOR!

CHOKEINATOR!


Raab continues to just pull Vladivostok up by her hair and deliver devastating chokeslams over and over and over again, even though Valerie Vladivostok has long since gone limp and is no longer putting up any kind of fight!


CHOKEINATOR!

CHOKEINATOR!

CHOKEINATOR!

CHOKEINATOR!

CHOKEINATOR!


Wang seems horrified, but for some reason he chooses to allow the match to continue rather than calling it off.


CHOKEINATOR!

CHOKEINATOR!

CHOKEINATOR!

CHOKEINATOR!

CHOKEINATOR!


Vinnie Lane: “Dude come ON! This is like a Chernobyl disaster all over again! Put an end to the match, Raab! You’ve had her beat since the bell rang!”


Raab smiles and drags Vladivostok up once more, this time hooking both of her arms before lifting her up into a delayed brainbuster. The Killerbuster! Valerie falls limp and Raab finally, mercifully, makes a cover!



1!














2!!




























3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Lord Raab

Raab holds Valerie’s unconscious face in his hands and drags her close to a ringside calera, shouting into the lens.


Raab: “DO YOU SEE ME NOW, SARAH LACKLAN!? DO YOU FEAR ME YET?!?”


Cameras then switch backstage where we again see Sarah standing aghast with her clipboard, otherwise still looking amazeballs in her suit and high-end eyeglasses.

It looks like she’s REALLY in shock by Raab’s actions!

Oh, nevermind, now she’s laughing and showing us her notes…

Aaaaaaaand the “notes” are really just a big drawing of a trash can that says Raab on it. Really nice, Sar. Also, you are a terrible artist.


Vinnie Lane: “Can we just go to the next match, everyone?”

Tula Keali'i - vs - Barney Green Referee: Ari Silverstein

Vinnie Lane: “This one is gonna be quick and hard, folks, neither of these two people wants to mess around.

Tula makes her entrance to mostly boos. She slowly makes her way to the ring, waving out a few times to the crowd before casually walking up the steps and entering the ring. She raises her arms in the air and struts to the middle of the ring while the crowd show her no love. Tula speaks with referee Ari for a quick moment before walking over to one of the corners and waiting on her opponent.

Realize By AC/DC starts to play as the fans start booing again. Out walks Barney Green, dressed in his garbage man uniform. He slowly walks out and starts arguing back with the fans chirping him. He reveals his trash can and dumps a bunch of trash out of it onto the fans. Some poor lady is struck in the face by what looks to be a large, black dildo and she shrieks. Barney slowly enters the ring as fans start throwing garbage back at him. He waits in the opposite corner, acknowledging Tula with a nod as the music fades.


[color=#ff1493]Vinnie Lane: “Well let’s get rocking folks! Barney going against Tula here, the fans don’t know who to cheer for.”


The two meet to lock up but Barney surprises Tula with a quick thumb to the eye. He puts her into a side headlock and tightens his grip. Tula attempts a back drop but can’t quite lift Barney and he drives an elbow down on top of her head. He releases the headlock and scoops her up and slams her down with a body slam. He kicks her a few times while she rolls to the ropes. Tula tries to pull herself up as referee Ari Silverstein backs Barney off. Tula gets up and Barney charges her only to take a drop kick to the knee.

Barney falls forward onto his knees, draping over the middle rope. Tula runs and hits the ropes on the other side, runs back and jumps up and double stomps onto Barney’s back. She grabs the rope and hops over and onto the apron. She then drops a leg across the back of Barney’s neck. Tula stays seated on the apron and pushes on Barney’s head, trying to choke him with the rope. Barney shoves her off and rolls to the middle of the ring. Tula slides back into the ring, blocks a right hook from Barney and drives a knee into his gut. She goes for a high head kick but Barney catches it and hits a huge T-Bone suplex followed by a cover.












1!










2!!












Kick out by Tula!


Vinnie Lane: “Barney just crushing Tula’s body with that one, he’s becoming one mean duder these days.”


Barney gets back up and pulls Tula to her feet. He lifts her up in a bear hug and then runs to the corner, squashing her into the turnbuckles. Barney backs up and then drives his shoulder into Tula’s gut. Barney leans back and then smashes his shoulder into her again. Barney backs up and raises his arms to the conflicted crowd. He then races towards Tula to once again ram his meaty shoulder into her winded stomach but this time Tula hops up just before Barney strikes and catches him with a sunset flip and roll up.












1!











2!!











Kick out by Barney!

They both scramble to their feet and Tula goes for a back elbow strike but Barney ducks it and shoves her into the ropes. He then hits her with a clothesline that sends her over the ropes but Tula is able to catch herself on the apron. Barney tries to knock her off with a forearm but Tula counters with a knee through the ropes into his gut, stunning him. Tula grabs a hold of Barney by the head and jumps off the apron, wrenching his throat across the top rope. As Barney falls back Tula reaches under the ropes and grabs his feet to knock him down.

Tula hops back onto the apron and makes her way onto the top turnbuckle. She rises her arms up to the crowd anticipating a high flying move. Barney pulls himself up as Tula dives off with a stunning cross body but Barney catches her. He turns and lifts her up for a power slam but she slides out behind him instead. Tula jumps up and hits a reverse bulldog to take Barney down. She quickly crawls on top and hooks a leg for the cover.











1!











2!!











Kick out by Barney!


Vinnie Lane: “Tula really taking it to big Barn here! Whoa, I almost said big bird, that woulda been awkward…”


Tula is back to her feet first while Barney is recovering. She starts nailing him with some nasty and accurate kicks while Barney seems to absorb the punishment. He is back to his feet as Tula goes for a head kick this time. Barney catches the foot, spins her and grabs her from behind. Barney hauls Tula up and hits a big German suplex. Barney keeps his arms locked around her waist and gets back up, hitting another German suplex. Tula is stunned now as Barney keeps hold of her, pulls her up and hits a third German suplex.

Barney releases his grip and gets back up while Tula is still down. He slams a fist on the mat while beckoning for her to get up. As Tula pulls herself to her feet Barney goes for the Black and white lightning attack but Tula counters it into a modified neck breaker. She wraps herself around Barney once he’s down and applies a tight triangle choke. They are right in the middle of the ring as she locks it in. Barney struggles to pull Tula off but the hold is in deep.


Vinnie Lane: “Uh oh Barney could be in trouble here!”


Barney slowly fades as Tula pulls on him and keeps the hold locked right. Referee Ari Silverstein lifts Barney’s meaty left hand and lets it drop to the mat for one. She lifts it again and lets it drop for the two. She hoists it up one last time and lets it drop but this time it stops just before hitting the mat. Barney slowly raises his left hand back up as the more diehard Barney Green fans start going wild. Barney grabs hold of Tula and manages to fight his way to his feet. He hulks up and pulls Tula up into the air and then drills her with a huge powerbomb to break the hold.

Barney slowly gets to his feet while Tula rolls to the ropes. She starts pulling herself up while Barney approaches. He grabs hold of her and goes for a gut wrench suplex but she manages to counter out of it with a cartwheel. She goes for a spinning roundhouse kick but Barney ducks it and shoves her back. Tula bounces off the ropes and then roars back with a clothesline. Barney ducks again and then goes for his own power clothesline. Just before he can connect Tula surprised him by nailing Atoll for your sins square on the jaw. Barney drops and Tula makes the cover hooking both legs.


Vinnie Lane: “Holy crap that came outta nowhere!”



1!












2!!














3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Tula Keali’i

Barney slowly exits the ring while Tula seems to be mouthing off to referee Ari Silverstein instead of celebrating. As this is happening, Lycana appears from the crowd and hops the barrier. On the opposite side of the ring Marf comes through the crowd and hops the barrier as well. They slide into the ring simultaneously as Tula finally sees them. She tries to throw an elbow at Marf but he gores her with a big spear to take her down. The crowd is booing frantically while Marf gets back up. He looks at Lycana and puts an arm out as if offering Tula to her.


Vinnie Lane: “Wait what the, where did the Dissentients come from!? This is not good, where is security? Get these lunatics outta here before something bad happens!”


Lycana smiles at him before grabbing Tula and hitting her with the Curse double wrist lock suplex. Marf exits the ring and grabs a microphone and a chair. He slides the chair towards Lycana while entering the ring again. She picks it up and lifts it high over her head while Tula is trying to get up. Lycana brings the chair down viciously across Tula’s back several times while she hollers in pain. Marf crouches down beside Tula while she continues to writhe around in pain.

Marf: Hi Tula, been a while hasn’t it? You didn’t just think we were going to just go away now did ya? Thought you could use the Left Hand to win some shitty little belt on some shitty little show, then wash your hands of us and not face repercussions? Oh, speaking of which, where exactly is that title now? Riiiiiight, you already lost it, all by yourself like a big girl huh? Feel free to stop by warfare some time, have yourself a real fight with either of us. Do something exciting for once, instead of doing whatever the fuck it is you think you do here on...what is this again? Thunder?

Lycana: Anarchy.

Marf: Anarchy, right. So Tula, let this be a reminder to you. Regardless of what you think you know, regardless of what you don’t know at all. Even if you think you’re done with the Left Hand. We are not done with you. We will never be done with you. Not while you continue to breath the air in an XWF ring without our permission. From here on out, keep looking over your shoulder. Be seeing you, old chum.

Marf pats Tula on the head and she swipes at him but misses as he gets up. Marf waves at her and turns to leave but Lycana places a hand on his chest to stop him. She says something in his ear and he grins a sadistic smile. He turns his attention back to Tula but she grabs the steel chair and goes to nail Marf. Lycana stops her with a big knee to the gut, doubling her over. Marf raises his arms before grabbing Tula and hitting the Sway flipping pile driver. Tula crumples to the mat while Marf and Lycana exit the ring and into the crowd before security finally makes their way to the ring.


Vinnie Lane: “What a heinous attack! The Dissentients just left Tula completely laid out! I can’t believe they showed up to do this, good grief…”

SPIRITUAL INTERLUDE! [color=#FFD700]A RITUAL SUN DANCE FROM THE LAKOTA SIOUX TRIBE!

Vinnie Lane: “I’m so happy Maxine was able to set this up for us! She’s in tight with the Sioux people here in South Dakota, as a native of the area herself! Thanks Max!”

Vinnie Lane: “Such a pretty smile! Man, she could NOT shut up about this all week long! Max was talking a mile a minute! Anyway, let’s take it to the Natives! Check out the dance!”

Vinnie Lane: “Amazing. So spiritual! And as you can see, Thunder Knuckles and Chris Page did NOT interfere this time! In fact, they are over there laying down shivering because the Chief gave them both some COVID blankets right before the show. These indians, man, they are SMART!”


Just then, BIG MONEY OSWALD runs out into the field, looking like he means to take out the Lakota tribesmen… but he’s stopped in his tracks when a woman with a steel chair leaps in front of him and chops him to the ground like a redwood tree!


Vinnie Lane: “It’s Liza! Oh my god it’s Liza Minnelli! Liza Minnelli followed us to South Dakota and she just LEVELLED Oswald with that chair shot! Holy crap! She’s still going, too! Just going to TOWN with that chair, and Ozzy is bloodied and broken… we need to get some help out here for him!”


Liza drops the chair and runs off through the crowd as EMTs arrive to help the battered Big Money.


Vinnie Lane: “Let’s get back to the action! We can’t let it slow down, we are contractually obligated to make sure it NEVER happens!”

Scarlet the Hunteress & Savannah Knightley - vs - Tommy Wish & John Black (T.H.U.G.S.) War Cry Match! Vinnie Lane has NO CLUE what Native Americans do, so THIS MATCH will have a ring surrounded my massive speakers blaring loud music, deafening the combatants the whole time! Referee: Chaz Bobo

After the riff was blasted on the X-Tron, we see Tommy and JB coming out from the entranceway wearing a native American headdress, and we see them walking down to the ring doing some kinda two step with a chop, then they stop at the ramp way and they give the headdress to some kids. Then they get to ring, they slide in the ring and they do their own war dance to their theme, and stops as they await for their opponents.

Eye of the Tiger plays and from the back steps Scarlet The Hunteress Donaldson. She kneels down at the top of the stage, and acts like she is looking for footprints of her opponents. Then
the Misfits Manager Antony The Jerk joins her, and they both head to the ring.

We see Savannah coming at the entranceway, and she manages to skip to her lou in her native American outfit, and giving some high fives in the process to her adoring fans. Then she climbs up on the stairs and sultry enters the ring with the camera panning up her ass. Then she stands around the ring posing all cutely.

War Cry Song

As the bell rings, we see JB and Tommy in huddle on who should go first. Then we see that JB and Scarlet start, they circle around the ring for a second, then they lock up and she locks him in a Headlock and she does a takedown with it. Then JB foot is on the bottom rope, which Scarlet breaks up from Chaz’s view. Then he quickly get back on his feet, and she punches him in the face. She punches him again, where JB was dazed and confused, and she connects with a Arm Drag in the process. JB manages to power out of it, but she knee’s him in the gut and whips him to the ropes. He beams back and she connects with a Superkick to the face. Then she immediately goes for the cover..

1…

TWO—A LAZY BREAKOUT FROM TOMMY!

Then Chaz then waves his hand out at Tommy for the breaking up of the pin, and Tommy backs off into the corner. Scarlet then lifts up JB, and she gives him a stiff Uppercut which spun him around and she hits him with a German Suplex on him. Then she trash talks the downed JB, and simply tags in Savannah, and Savannah then takes her time to stomp on him for good measure. Then JB quickly rolls out of the ring, and got scared at the sight of Savannah!

Vinnie Lane: What’s going on? I thought JB was tough enough against Savannah!

Then Chaz then threatens to count out JB, until Savannah stomps her foot on the mat and she charges to the outside, and hits a sick Plancha on JB. Then she tries to get some cheers, but it’s drowned out by the sound of the song. Then JB slowly crawls to the steel steps, and he begs her not to hurt him. Then suddenly Tommy taps her on the shoulders and he spits Green Mist at her eyes. Then as soon as Chaz started to count, JB grabs Savannah by the hair and put her back into the ring. He then simply tags in Tommy, and he then starts to do some Chief Jay Strongbow taunt at her, and she gets up and he hits her with some Mongolian chops for her troubles. Then before he could chop her, he gets mesmerized by her looks and stops.

Vinnie Lane: Man, Tommy is hooked with miss little Pocahontas, I sense that Savannah might guarantee a win over the THUGS tonight!

Tommy then goes to the corner, and tags JB in. Then JB puts his fist up, but balks quickly as she comes to him, she then kicks him in the head and she whips him to the ropes and she connects with a Hurricanrana which she leverages into a pin…

1..

2..

TH—JB KICKOUT!

Then she goes to Scarlet and tags her in, and Scarlet lifts up JB and both of him do a Double Suplex onto him, while Scarlett picks up Savannah with a Leg Drop on JB. Then Chaz instructed her to get back into the corner, but then we see Anton coming to the apron to distract Chaz and they have a shouting match, and Scarlett then uses a chain and BASHES JB with it on his face, then she tosses the chain out, as Anton got off the apron.


Vinnie Lane: “That was so uncalled for, but hey what do you expect from someone like that dum dum Chaz for not seeing what’s behind him!”


Scarlett then locks in a Chinlock on JB, with the sounds of the looping song he stomps on his feet, but she locked it so tightly that he couldn’t go nowhere. But, with her whispering sweet nothing towards him, he found the courage to get on his feet. Then he elbows her in the gut, and he hairpulls her on the mat. Then he locks in a Single Leg Lock, but Anton manages to pull her to the bottom rope, which Chaz sees and tells him to leave, to the delight of some.


Vinnie Lane: “Finally there some order into this match, but I know that even if Anton leaves Scarlett, she has her ally, who seems too be the THUGS weakness.”


Then JB then tags in Tommy, and both of them lift her up and JB locks her arms behind her as Tommy goes to the top rope and hits a SUPER Mongolian chop, which JB transitions it into a Back Suplex on Scarlett. Then JB head back into the corner, and Tommy then starts the does the Chief Jay taunt to rhythm of the song that blaring. But then he looks at Savannah, who’s teasing him with her barefoot, which Tommy takes bait for.

Vinnie Lane: TOMMY YOU NEED TO FOCUS! DON’T LET THE TEMPTRESS GET YOU!

As Scarlett had some time to recover, Tommy and Savannah had some little flirty convo, but once Tommy turned around, Scarlett hits a stiff Superkick on Tommy where he spun around until he was dizzy, and she kicks him in the gut and hits a Pedigree on him and she goes for the cover on Tommy…

1..

2..

THRE—KICKOUT BY TOMMY!


Vinnie Lane: “That was a close call on Tommy’s part, if only he had saved his little convo with Savannah later AFTER the match is over!”


Then Scarlett confronts Chaz over the count, to the point she back him into the corner. Then Savannah comes into the ring, and she tries to stomp on Tommy with her barefoot, but Tommy catches her foot and slowly gets up. Then he nods no at her, and he shoves her to the mat. While still having her foot in his hand, he almost sucked on em, but Scarlett managed to attack Tommy from the back, and JB then comes in and became an all out slugfest between Scarlett and THUGS.


Vinnie Lane: “Jesus, first Tommy almost made Savannah squirm in her panties to this sudden outbreak between her partner and thugs…only on ANARCHY folks!”


Scarlett manages to punch both of them, she even manages to Superkick Tommy and JB, then she tries to go for a Piledriver on Tommy, but before she could hit it JB attack her from behind. Then Chaz tries to restore order, but JB looked at Chaz and he backed out of it, then JB hits Scarlett with a simple Scoop Slam onto her. Then they start doing some tribal like chants to themselves and they lift up Scarlett. But then, Savannah hops on Tommy’s back trying to break him away from her partner, but Tommy hits her with a Backpack Stunner.

As Savannah rolled out of the ring, JB then lifts up Scarlett and beams her to ropes and they hit…





THE DRIVE BYE ON SCARLETT





Vinnie Lane: This is the beginning of the end of this War Cry match, will the THUG be doing their ritualistic war dance by the end of the night?

JB then heads back to the corner, and Tommy goes for the pin....






1!























2!!





























3!!!

Winners by Pinfall - THUGS

Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "Tommy and JB did it! What a W for them, proving once again that they are not to be trifled with!”

XWF Headquarters, earlier today!


We see a restrained Micheal Graves being lead BACK into the closet of BAD GIMMICKS by two armed guards as Vinnie Lane looks on. The officers shove Graves into the small dark room, but before they can close the door, Graves turns and burst back out. The guards struggle to shove him back in and close the door as Graves pleads with Lane.


Micheal Graves: "Dude, come on! You can't lock me away like this! Not again!"


Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "Sorry man, but BOB doesn't want you around."


Micheal Graves: "Yeah, but you can sign me! I'll take the deal, any deal, just don't put me back in the closet man! PLEASE!!?"


Lane motions for the guards to let.


Vinnie Lane: "I dunno, your most popular run would never fly in today's XWF, and as funny as watching a fat, old, shitty, out of shape goth wrestler make a fool out of himself every week would be, I..."


Micheal Graves: "Come on man, have a heart! I thought we were cool!?"


Vinnie Lane: "Hmmm, think you could you turn yourself back into that smoking hot chick by any chance?"


Graves looks puzzled for a second.


Micheal Graves: "Uh, no?"


Vinnie Lane: "Yeah, sorry dude but we just don't have anything for ya right now!"


Micheal Graves: "WHAT?"


Momentarily frozen by the icy touch of Lane's cold shoulder, the guards easily shove Graves into the room and slam the door shut as the scene fades.


LIVE!


We cut live to Vinnie Lane at the desk!


Vinnie Lane: "If it weren't for Covid you could let the kids outta the house because Micheal Graves is off the streets again, and it's ALL thanks to me! Oh, and obviously I was just trolling when I asked Graves if he could turn back into a woman! Why would I want to see that!? Ew! Not that there's anything wrong with... Oh God... We're getting off track here! Let's move on to our next match!"

Kenzi Grey - vs - Solace Tatum X-Treme Rules! Referee: MARTY

“Gimme Your Applause” by Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera begins to play as bulbs flash all through the arena. Kenzi Grey walks out with a confident smile for the fans as an explosion of pyro erupts and she strikes a pose for the cameras. She pauses to adjust the heavy black brace on her right knee, then heads down the aisle slapping the outstretched hands of the fans. At ringside, she climbs onto the ring apron and pauses again for the flash of the cameras, kneeling there with a smirk. She climbs the turn post and gives the fans one more photo opportunity as she sits atop the turnbuckle, still blowing kisses and posing for the fans. She hops down, finally entering the ring as she readies herself for her opponent.


Vinnie Lane: "Kenzie Grey looking ready to compete tonight. No doubt she’s still in a bad mood after all the shenanigans from BOB last week that culminated with Miss Fury curb stomping her before picking up the victory. It’ll be interesting to see how that affects her performance tonight."

Solace Tatum is met with a positive ovation as she walks out to the stage. She postures for the crowd, really getting them pumped for the upcoming contest. As she makes her way down to the ring, a few overzealous fans reachout over the barricade just to get a feel of the hot new talent in the XWF. Solace climbs into the ring and postures to the fans once more before settling in her corner and awaiting the match to start.


Vinnie Lane: "I see big things in Solace Tatums future, but could that future start tonight? With a big win over Kenzie Grey you bet you ass it could!"


MARTY rolls around the ring, seemingly randomly like a roomba. The time keeper takes it upon himself to ring the opening bell and the match begins. Solace and Kenzi come out of their corners and begin to circle one another. Kenzi waves Solace in, telling her to bring it. Solace proposes a standard collar and elbow tie up. Kenzi complies with the request and the two women begin to struggle for dominance. Kenzi pushes Solace back into the corner. MARTY calls for a clean break. Kenzi throws her hands up and takes a step back before stepping back in with a wicked knife edge chop across Solace’s boobs! Solace drops to her knees as MARTY rolls in between her and Kenzi and begins to BEEP BOOP at her for the dirty attack! Kenzi shoves the robotic referee out of the way and moves back in, looking for a knee strike. Fortunately for her, Solace is able to get out of the way and hooks Kenzi from behind with a school boy!



1!

















KICKOUT!


Kenzi and Solace both jump to their feet, but neither engages immediately after seeing the other up as well.


Vinnie Lane: "It may have only been a one count, but Kenzi doesn’t look too happy about that roll up!"


Kenzi and Solace lock up again, but this time Kenzi fires off with a knee to the midsection right off the bat. Now in control, Kenzi throws Solace back into the corner and rushes in with a knee that connects right to her face. Solace slinks into the corner as Kenzi gets a running start and flies in with a shotgun dropkick! Solace grasps at her chest and she falls to the mat. Kenzi plays it up to the crowd.


Vinnie Lane: "Kenzi Grey isn’t in a good mood this week, and Solace Tatum is paying the price for it!"


Back on the attack, Kenzi grabs Solace and pulls her to her feet, but Solace fires up with a second wind and breaks Kenzi’s hold on her before firing off with a few right hands that stumble “The Face Of Anarchy”. Solace hits the ropes, and on the rebound connects with a big crossbody that takes Kenzi off her feet! Solace is quick to get up and runs towards the ropes, springing off the top with a picture perfect moonsault! But Kenzi rolls out of the way and Solace catches nothing but mat! Kenzi climbs back to her feet, shaking the cobwebs for a moment before moving in. She grabs Solace’s arm, steps through and rolls her up for a cover!


Vinnie Lane: "Oh snap, it’s a Kenzi Solace pretzel!"


1!












2!













KICKOUT!


Solace manages to break the pin and both women climb back to their feet. Kenzi rushes in with a right hook, but Solace blocks it and swings away with a right of her own! Kenzi ducks and repositions behind her, grabbing her by the waist! Kenzi snaps back, throwing Solace behind her with a german suplex, but Solace somehow manages to land on her feet! Kenzi jumps up, not realizing that Solace is waiting behind her. As she turns around she is met with a superkick for her efforts, but Kenzi catches the foot and steps through with an enziguri! Kenzi then hits the ropes, springboarding off of the top with a moonsault of her own that connects! She hooks the leg as MARTY counts!




1!














2!














KICKOUT!



Vinnie Lane: "Beautiful moonsault from Kenzi Grey, but it isn’t enough to take the victory!"


Kenzi argues with the robotic referee, claiming that the count was slow. This gives Solace time to recover, but she remains on the mat. Kenzi turns her attention back to Solace, and grabs her by the hair, yanking her up to her feet, but Solace fires off with a shot to the midsection! Kenzi doubles over and Solace performs a sunset flip into a pin!



1!













2!










3!



NO KICKOUT!


Vinnie Lane: "Kenzi managed to get that shoulder up at the VERY LAST millisecond!"


The two women spring to their feet and begin trading blows in the center of the ring. Neither willing to back down and both showing a lot of heart as they eat the offence of the other. Kenzi gains the advantage and with Solace reeling! Kenzi steps back and drops her knee pad before she runs in with “Seeing Stars” (Loaded Running Knee Strike)


Vinnie Lane: "THIS IS IT!!"


But Solace avoids the devastating blow! Kenzi turns around off balance and catches a superkick right to the chin, but she doesn't go down! Instead she stumbles off balance into the corner! Solace rushes in with a shoulder block to the midsection, doubling Kenzi over! Kenzi stumbles out of the corner and Solace grabs her by the braids and hits the Tatum Bomb (facebuster)! Solace then gets in position and begins to taunt Kenzi back to her feet. As soon as Kenzi is up to a knee, Solace grabs her and guides her up the rest of the way.


Vinnie Lane: "We know what this is!"


The Sol Searcher!


But Kenzi slips out! Solace off balance, turns around and tries to maintain her momentum by running in, but Kenzi drops her with a drop toe hold!


RIGHT ONTO MARTY!


Vinnie Lane: "HEY! That’s not easily replaceable!!"


Solace is hurt, but she pushes up anyway, but Kenzi takes her right back down with Seeing Stars!!


Kenzi with the cover!










Oh yeah, MARTY is DOWN!


Vinnie Lane: "Kenzi might have had it here, but MARTY is out of commision!!"


Kenzi jumps to her feet and sets the robo ref back on its wheels. She then hooks the leg for her second pinfall attempt!





Bzzzz1!













Bzzzz2!











BzzzzzKICKOUT!


Vinnie Lane: "Setting MARTY back up really cost Kenzi there!"



Kenzi hops up but immediately crumples to the mat, gripping her bad knee.


Vinnie Lane: "Oh no! Kenzi has a history of knee troubles… I think it just gave out on her! MARTY doesn’t have medical training!”


Kenzi rolls out of the ring and holds her knee, wailing as MARTY bumps aimlessly into a corner. Solace sits up and looks around trying to find her opponent… and then Maxine and Bobbi London run down to the ring!


Vinnie Lane: "Oh no, not these two! They’ve been interfering on Kenzi’s behalf for weeks!”


Bobbi and Max lean down and help Kenzi to her feet, putting her arms across their shoulders so she can hop around. They bring her over to Vinnie’s desk.


Vinnie Lane: "Dude are you okay, Kenz?”


Kenzi Grey: “No I’m not okay! I think my knee blew out! I gotta finish this match though, let me go, Bobbi!”


Bobbi London: “You’s can’t be serious, luv, we gots to call this thing off!”


Vinnie Lane: "We can call it off, Kenz, it’s okay! It’s just one match! Think of your career!”


Kenzi Grey: “Hell no, I don’t quit!”


Bobbi frowns and looks at Maxine, who simply shrugs.


Bobbi London: “Suit you’s self, mate. We’ll do it the hard way. Max! Up!”


Vinnie Lane: "Wait, what the heck!”


Maxine and Bobbi then shift, planting their hands under Kenzi’s armpits and pulling her straight up in the air, and then planting her through Vinnie’s announce table, shattering it into splinters!


Vinnie Lane: "BOBBI! MAX! WHAT THE CRAP, DUDE!?!”


Bobbi London: “This dumb cunt won’t listen to no good advice! I been tryin’ to help you’s love, but you’s don’t need help against anyone else in the ring… YOU’S NEED HELP FROM YOU’S SELF!”


Bobbi screeches into Kenzi’s face, but Kenzi is out cold. Max then pulls Grey up and rolls her into the ring like she weighs nothing, and the Mad Rhymes duo book it to the back once again.

Solace Tatum sees her opponent out cold in the center of the ring and looks unsure of what to do. You can tell from her face that she didn’t want to take a freebie win this way, especially so unfairly, but perhaps to make sure the match ends faster and that Kenzi can get some help, she leans over her in a lateral press.





1!

































2!!



































3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Solace Tatum

Vinnie Lane: "Solace Tatum gets a MASSIVE win on her record against a multiple former champion, Kenzi Grey, but the real story here is how badly is Kenzi hurt? That knee looked BAD, and then she got planted through my table with no way to protect herself! She still hasn’t moved a muscle, and Solace is calling for help from the back!”


Tatum stands in the ring gesturing for help as crew members rush down to ringside.

A WORD FROM MISS FURY! VINNIE LANE SITS DOWN WITH MISS FURY TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT!

"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane: "Coming up next is my special sit down interview with the polarizing and always confusing Miss Fury! Let me just say, this interview was not easy to get! Miss fury is a very secretive chick, and as such I wasn’t even allowed to know WHERE the interview would take place! Take a look!"

The Xtron fires up with a series of clips showing all of the bullshit Miss Fury put Lane through just to have this interview.

First there’s a shot of him waiting outside of the XWF offices when a indiscret black van pulls up. The side door opens and out walks those “No Good Bastards”, Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon. Vinnie pleasantly greets the baddy tag team with an extended hand. TK and Bobby look to one another with a knowing chuckle before Bobby grabs an unsuspecting Lane and secures his hands behind his back while TK duct tapes a black hood over his head! They toss Lane into the back of the van with little regard for his safety and climb in behind him, slamming the side door shut. The camera swings around to catch a shot of Barney Green in the driver's seat. With a wicked smile, Barn kicks that sucker into gear and floors it, burning rubber as they speed off.

The next clip shows them entering a building. Gates, cages, and very heavy secure doors everywhere. No doubting it, this looks like a prison of some sort. TK and Bourbon lead Lane in by the arm. They direct him to blindly walk through a metal detector. As soon as he does the thing goes wild alerting the BOBs that Lane is trying to smuggle something into BOB’s secret base!

Lane, hearing the metal detector beep, mentions that he forgot to take his keys out of his pocket, but TK and Bourbon are hearing none of it as they take him by the arms and lead him into a room that’s marked “cavity search” where a pleased Oswald Autem is waiting. As Lane walks in Oswald simply says, ”Strip him!” as he snaps a big blue rubber glove over his giant sausage fingered mitt.

The next scene shows Lane, still cuffed and blinded, sitting on a cot inside of a prison cell. No doubt about it. One of BOB’s bases seems to be an old prison. There doesn’t seem to be anyone else around.


Vinnie Lane: "Hello? Anyone there? I have to pee!"


Nobody answers him and Lane is left to wonder how long they plan on keeping him like this before he can meet Miss Fury for his sit down interview!

Finally in the next scene, we see Miss Fury sitting at the head of a long wooden table. A loud creaking noise breaks the silence as the camera shifts to catch Lane being led into the room by Barney Green. You can’t help but notice that Lane’s call for a potty break must have been ignored for too long because he is wearing an ill fitting pair of dirty grey joggers that have been duct taped around his waist to keep them up. Judging by the waist size, they’re BOB pants, which means either Barney’s Or Bobby’s.


Miss Fury: "Thank you Mr. Green. Please remove his restraints before leaving."

Barney does as told, freeing Lane’s hands and cutting away at the tape securing the hood over his head.


Vinnie Lane: "WHAT THE HECK FURY!?!"


Miss Fury: "Sorry Vincent, but we run a tight ship around here, and you can never be too careful when inviting outsiders into your home."


Lane knows her excuse for his mistreatment is just that, an excuse. The smile on her face is less kind, and more ha bitch, you’re in my world now! Despite that, Lane is smart enough to know that she’s right. If repercussions are to come, they will have to come at Anarchy. Begrudgingly, Lane takes his seat at the foot of the table.


Vinnie Lane: "Just make sure to film me from the waist up!"


Miss Fury: "Sure, not a problem."


Fury waits for Lane to look away before she motions to the camera to disregard his request.


Vinnie Lane: "Okay Fury, let’s start off with the million dollar question. What’s the deal with The Left Hand? Are you a member and if you are, how and why are you still in BOB?"


Miss Fury: "Is this an interrogation? Let’s just say that you already know what I want you to know."


Vinnie Lane: "But that’s the point! Nobody understands any of this! Both you and BOB were pretty easy to figure out before, but ever since that thing with Graves and you becoming one person, none of it makes any sense!"


Miss Fury: "And why should it Vincent? Am I to be a Bond villain? Should I explain my every move in great detail before my masterplan comes to fruition? Like I said before, you know what I want you to know, and that’s all that you’re getting for now. Am I Left Hand? Most certainly, but I’m also BOB."


Vinnie Lane: "Okay fine, it’s clear that I’m not getting any answers out of you, so let’s move on. Here’s a softball question that you should be capable of answering. Has having Micheal Graves inside of you changed you in any way?"


Miss Fury: "Of course it has. Maybe not as much as being inside of Micheal would..." Fury smirks as Lane seems oddly bothered by that statement.


Vinnie Lane: "Uh.. Yeah so, I actually meant the whole new body, unfamiliar face in the mirror, creepy pedophile in your head. Has any of that had a noticeable effect on you?"


Miss Fury: "Inconvenient for sure, but having him as an unwanted passenger did have some benefits.”"


Vinnie Lane: "Care to elaborate?"


Miss Fury: "Micheal Graves is a two-plus-decade veteran. As such he possesses a wealth of knowledge pertaining to his business. Knowledge that he was never capable of fully utilizing."


Vinnie Lane: "But you think that you can?"


Miss Fury: "I already am, or did you forget that I defeated “The Face” of your brand last week?"


"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane: "By cheating! That wasn’t even you in most of the match!"


Miss Fury: "No? Are you sure?"


Vinnie Lane: "We all saw it! You switched places with Osira who was dressed up to look like you!"


Miss Fury: "Yes, that is correct. Am I to be ashamed of the fact that I outwitted one of your so-called “top talents” once more? At the end of the day, the record books show that Miss Fury defeated Kenzi Grey, and that’s all that matters… Well, that and the image of me stomping her face into the mat like the dog that she is!"


Vinnie Lane: "How can you be proud of tainted victories like that one? Do you have no honor!?"


Fury burst out laughing at the mere mention of “honor”.


Miss Fury: "What a silly concept! To think that I should give away any strategic advantage to satisfy some sense of what is perceived to be an adherence to what is considered right and just. Need I remind you what the acronym for BOB is?"


With a heavy sigh, Lane mutters aloud.


Vinnie Lane: "Brotherhood of Baddies… Fine, but how can you be satisfied with a career that’s stained by lying and cheating?"


Miss Fury: "When it comes to cheating, you’re one to talk."


Lane squirms in his chair before getting defensive.


Vinnie Lane: "That was a simple misunderstanding!"


Miss Fury: "Call it what you will, but as you insist, cheating is cheating, and as I have said in the past, we’re all villains. The difference between somebody like you and somebody like me is that I don’t try to hide what I am. Instead, I proudly profess that I’m the bad guy. One might say that there is more honor in being true to yourself than trying to abide by somebody else's perception of what is right and wrong. Do you not agree?"


Vinnie Lane: "I mean sure, I can see that, but..."


Miss Fury: "But what? Please, spare me the good guy rhetoric, I am not interested in hearing it."


Vinnie Lane: "Okay, let’s say I give you that. What would you say to someone like Ruby who is unquestionably the beacon of hope in the XWF. She’s never done anything wrong."


Miss Fury: "Are you certain? Because I would argue that Ruby is just as guilty of everything that BOB and I have done as we are, simply through her inaction."


Vinnie Lane: "Oh come on! That’s not fair!"


Miss Fury: "Perhaps not, but it remains true all the same. Let me ask you a question. If you were to see someone robbing an elderly couple in the streets, what would you do?"


Vinnie Lane: "Probably call the police!"


Miss Fury: "How many nefarious acts of violence have BOB committed since debuting last spring?"


Lane seems to realize where this is going, and his body language seems to show it as he slumps in his seat.


Vinnie Lane: "A-lot"


Miss Fury: "And what effort has the last remaining hero of the XWF put forth to stop BOB from committing any of these acts?"


Vinnie Lane: "Well, she..."


Miss Fury: "Nothing! She has done NOTHING! Her act is just that, an act! It’s designed to sell T-shirts and cereal to idiotic children too naieve to realize that good does not exist! We’re all evil, each and every one of us. Some of us are just better at hiding it, like Ruby. Others end up looking foolish in their attempts, like our favorite former Anarchy chump Tula Keali’i. If Ruby were really the hero that she claims to be, then she would have stood up and done something by now, don’t you think!?"


Vinnie Lane: "Well, she did try to stop you from attacking Kenzi last week!"


Miss Fury: "Ah yes, after nearly a year of inaction, the hero emerges to save the beloved of her new boss. Her actions were so heroic and definitely had nothing to do with the fact that doing so would score her brownie points with her best frenemy."


"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane: "You know what, there’s just no winning with you! Anything that I say, you’re going to twist it to align with your warped sense of reality!"


Miss Fury: "You can call it that, but I prefer the term “spreading the truth”."


Vinnie Lane: "Well I think that we’ve all heard enough of your “truth”. Thank you for your time and goodluck with the cheating."


Lane says with a snarky tone as he stands up from the table. Almost immediately, Barney Green grabs him from behind preventing him from trying to leave.


Vinnie Lane: "Oh come on! Do we really need to do this again!?"


Miss Fury: "Yes. I can’t have you discovering the location of one of our safehouses can I? But, before you go, I do have a present for you."


With fear in his eyes, Lane questions her.


Vinnie Lane: "A present? I don’t trust you Fury!"


Miss Fury: "And you are wise in doing so, but this gift is a genuine act of faith on my behalf."


With a snap of her fingers, some random guards under the BOB payroll come bursting through two big metal double doors with Lane’s gift.

Vinnie Lane: "Micheal Graves? But I thought that he was a part of you now?"


Miss Fury: "Was, not anymore."


Fury pulls back the black mask revealing her face. Not Graves' female face, her face!

Lane gasps at the sight as this only adds to the confusion surrounding Miss Fury’s current events!


Vinnie Lane: "But how did you? Did you even? WAS THIS ALL A LIE!?"


Miss Fury: "Does it matter? There are two people that know your secret, and I am presenting you with one of them."


Vinnie Lane: "I see, but the other is you… so?"


Miss Fury: "So you do a favor for me, and I’ll do one for you by keeping my mouth shut."


Lane contemplates her words for a moment before questioning her.


Vinnie Lane: "Okay, and what would this favor be?"


Miss Fury: "Restructure my contract to add the stipulation that ALL of my matches from henceforth will be contested under Fury’s rules."


Vinnie Lane: "Fury’s rules?"


Miss Fury: "Yes, Fury’s rules, which means, there are no rules."


Vinnie Lane: "If I do that, you’ll just have your BOB’s cheat in every match!"


Miss Fury: "Wrong, because it will no longer be cheating if you do as I ask."


Vinnie Lane: "And if I refuse?"


Miss Fury and Lane lock eyes in an epic stare off that last for an uncomfortable amount of time. Finally, Fury breaks the silence with three words that send chills down Lane’s spine.


Miss Fury: "Siri, call Roxy Cotton."


Lane immediately responds with sheer horror in his voice!


Vinnie Lane: "OKAY FINE! YOU WIN!"


Miss Fury: "I figured you would see it my way."


Vinnie Lane: "Yeah, I’m sure you did, but let me make this clear. This is the last time that you’re going to hold this over my head!"


Miss Fury: "We shall see… Bag him boys!"


Vinnie Lane: "HUH?!"


TK and Bourbon shackle and blind Lane much like before as the scene fades to black.


Back live we see Vinnie Lane sitting at a brand new announce desk that still has packing tape and protective wrap on it, looking a little worried.


"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane: "Uh, we were supposed to edit this interview! Todd is so fired! ANYWAY! Everyone should be happy to know that while I wasn’t able to get to the bottom of Miss Fury’s involvement with the Left Hand and BOB, we have secured Micheal Graves BACK into the closet of bad gimmicks where hopefully he will remain for the rest of his days! Gotta take the small victories dudes!"


Vinnie nervously stacks some papers.


Vinnie Lane: “Well, at least we’re totally done with Fury for the night… hey!”

NON-TITLE BOUT "Notorious" Ned Kaye - vs - Ruby Referee: John X

[Vinnie Lane: “Here we go folks, this is what you’ve been waiting for… Ned Kaye, one of the brightest stars in the XWF, taking on the THREE TIME Anarchy Champion, the Dear-O of the Day, Ruby!”

The entire stadium goes black as the song begins. Slowly, the X-Tron begins to show scarce, glowing embers, the light of each one illuminating smoke growing at the entrance of the ramp. As the song continues, more embers are seen until a large fire is displayed on the screen. The ramp then glows Ned's famous blue, revealing a silhouette in the smoke. Slowly stepping from the fog is none other than Notorious Ned Kaye. He stops for a moment, calming himself in front of the clamoring crowd. He lifts an arm, eyeing the stands to watch the many audience members who follow suit. With a single smile, he drops his arm and rushes towards the ring, slipping in from under the bottom rope, picking himself up immediately.


Vinnie Lane: “Here’s Ned… this kid has come a long way! He just spent several months as the XWF Hart Champion, and last year he even claimed a win over Kenzi Grey when she was Anarchy Champ!”

Ruby emerges from the back under yellow and green alternating spotlights, and she holds matching sparklers in her hands as she walks down the ramp. Ruby spells her name out in the air with the sparks from her props!

R


U


B


L

No wait sorry, it’s hard to do sparkler letters, she just messed up a little…

Y!

Vinnie Lane: “The fans love Ruby! Everywhere she goes, the crowds just gush for her as if she were like made of candy or ice cream or kittens! It’s wild! The walls are shaking as this young lady, the first and only three time Anarchy Champion, makes her way to the ring.”


Ruby makes it to the ring and shakes Kaye’s hand, both of them then retreating to their corners to limber up before things get started.

DING! DING! DING!!!

John X holds a power fist in a black leather glove above his head… this is apparently his way of calling for the match to begin?

Ruby and Ned circle each other, giving one another ample room and recognition. Neither competitor is willing to rush in and make a mistake, here.

Finally, Ruby locks up with Ned. They jockey back and forth but both are experts at keeping their leverage and quickly becomes a stalemate and simply release, circling once again. They lock up once more, and Ruby is quick to transition into a side headlock this time rather than try to muscle for position. Ned is able to pop out behind her though and grabs a hammerlock.

Ruby misses with a back elbow, but it’s enough to get Ned to let go, her main goal. He grabs he in a belly to belly that Ruby deftly blocks by hooking her insole behind his knee and compromising his balance. Ruby gets a wrist and swings Ned’s arm into an armwringer, then runs up the corner!


Vinnie Lane: “Wait! Ruby just stopped in her tracks and hopped back down to the mat… she must be thinking about Lacklan’s rules, and doesn’t want to water her one top rope move!”


Ruby plops down onto the canvas and settles for flinging Ned across the ring with an armdrag. Ned is up quicker than she expected though and he is able to catch her by surprise with a discus clothesline!

Ruby gets up, and Ned is right there to lock in an abdominal stretch! Ned really cranks it good, and Ruby is obviously in pain. She fights through, though, and eventually frees herself with a hip toss to Ned Kaye. Ruby then drops down into a chinlock, trying to get a little rest after being in the brutal hold for several minutes.

Ned muscles his way to his feet, standing up with Ruby on his back as she moves into a sleeper hold and locks her legs around his waist from behind, squeezing the oxygen from his body. Ned points his back at a corner and runs backward, slamming Ruby’s spine into the turnbuckles and forcing her to break.

Ned then turns around and charges Ruby, hitting her with a big splash in the corner. He pulls her up into a sitting position on the top rope and then climbs up… hurricanrana from the top!

Ruby held on to the top rope! Ned just slammed himself to the mat!

Ruby stands atop the turnbuckles and leaps off, clobbering Ned with a big double ax handle!


Camera show Sarah Lacklan backstage, making a big checkmark on her clipboard and holding up her index finger, mouthing the word “one.”


Vinnie Lane: “What? Really Sar? Double ax handles count as their one top rope move? Come on!”


Ruby follows up the ax handle by grabbing Ned’s ankles and locks him into a cloverleaf! Ned strains and drags against the pain, eventually reaching the bottom rope which IMMEDIATELY causes Ruby to break, before John X even calls for it.


Vinnie Lane: “Man I think Ruby was actually motivating Ned to reach the ropes there! I’m pretty sure I heard her telling him he could do it!”


Ned limps to a full stand, and Ruby comes in for another lockup… drop toe hold from Ned! Ned swings over Ruby and applies a crossface, but Ruby’s right there by the ropes!

Nope! Ned flips Ruby away, rolling her into a pinning predicament!


1!
























2!!





















Ruby kicks out!


Vinnie Lane: “Looks like Ruby is a little miffed that Ned wasn’t as allowing with that rope break!”


Ned rushes Ruby and Ruby drops him with a spinning wheel kick! She runs the ropes then and jumps onto the second rope, hopping backward and catching Ned just as he gets to his feet, pulling him down in a springboard stunner! Ned’s reeling!

Backstage again, Sarah Lacklan taps her pen across tightly pursed lips. She then makes a note with a flourish.


Vinnie Lane: “Come on Sarah! She didn’t flip! And that wasn’t the top rope!”


Ruby drives Ned against the ropes with a series of Canadian Uppercuts, making sure to back off and let Ned off the ropes each time. She then sends him across the ring with a Canadian Whip… textbook dropkick from Ruby sends Ned crashing to the mat!

Ruby hits the ropes herself… big leg drop! Ruby with a cover!



1!
















2!!















Shoulder up from Ned Kaye!



Vinnie Lane: “Close call there for Ned! The champ almost had him!”


Ruby pulls Ned up and sends him to the ropes again… no, it’s reversed!

Ruby rebounds off the ropes… pop-up eat defeat from Ned Kaye! That came from nowhere!


Vinnie Lane: “What a move! Ruby never saw it coming!”


Ned scrambles on top of a downed Ruby, pulling her leg across her body!



1!
















2!!




















Ruby gets her shoulder up!


Both opponents struggle to their feet, and Ruby ducks a wild clothesline from Kaye. Ruby grabs Kaye and hits him with an atomic drop right out of Jackie Fargo’s playbook! Kaye looks like he stepped on a live wire, the shock from that spine-rattling atomic drop has him paralyzed!

Kaye turns and… RUBY CUTTER!!!


Ned got nearly decapitated by that Ruby Cutter! Ruby leaps onto him for a pin!





1!
























2!!


















NED’S FOOT’S ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!!



John X stops the count and points out the foot and Ruby looks frustrated, but she nods and accepts the rules as written.

Ruby looks to the top and knows it’s time to put this match away. Ned Kaye barely survived that Ruby Cutter, and all it’s going to take is one Ruby in the Rough to end this match.


Vinnie Lane: “Go for it Rubes! I’ll pay your fine, don’t sweat it!”


Ruby seems to hear Vinnie hollering from ringside and it makes her realize she already came off the top rope tonight. She snaps her fingers in frustration and turns around after shaking her head, trying to think of a new approach… AND EATS A BIG SUPERKICK FOR HER TROUBLE!

Ned Kaye turned out the lights on Ruby with that superkick, and he grabs her and pulls her onto his shoulders… TILT-A-WHIRL GTS! Ruby took every bit of that!


Vinnie Lane: “Ned Kaye now with all the momentum, and HE heads to the top… by my count he hasn’t used his one top rope move yet!”


Ned perches on the top and is BEGGING Ruby to get back to her feet after that massive modified GTS! Ruby is on wobbly legs as she stands and turns… AIRBORNE ANNIHILATOR!!!



Vinnie Lane: “We haven’t seen Ned bust out that old flying crossbody in a while! He hit the bullseye with it just now!”


Ned Kaye hooks a leg!




1!

















2!!

























3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - “Notorious” Ned Kaye

Vinnie Lane: “Ned did it! Wow! He just beat the Anarchy Champion clean! That’s got to put him right in line for a title shot!”


Ned’s music plays as his hand is raised and he exits the ring victorious. Ruby sits in a corner nursing her neck and looking dejected.


Vinnie Lane: “Ruby really got hampered there by Lacklan’s new Anarchy Ruleset… you just have to wonder if she would have won this thing if she were able to go up top one more time! Hold on...”

The crowd jumps to their feet and begins booing the moment that Miss Fury's Xtron begins to play.


Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "I can't say that I'm surprised by this. Once we saw Miss Fury was here tonight it was a foregone conclusion that she'd involve herself with the Anarchy champion in some way."


Miss Fury slowly walks out to the stage with a microphone in hand as Ruby cautiously checks her surroundings in the ring before turning her attention to Fury.


Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "Ruby checking to see if there are any BOB's in the grass just waiting to strike! You can't be too careful with these guys, as they've proven time and again!"


Fury looks into the camera and motions for the music to cut. It dies down just in time to hear a random male fan yell out.


"FURY WE LOVE YOU!"


Which is immediately followed by a chant.


"FURY SUCKS! FURY SUCKS! FURY SUCKS!"


Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "Despite being a supervillain, Miss Fury does have her fans. Maybe less now than before she joined The Left Hand? Though to be fair, we still don't know what the deal is there either!"


Ruby eyes are locked on Fury at the top of the stage, only breaking every so often to check her surroundings for a BOB sneak attack that they're so fond of doing. Fury waits for the crowd to settle down before speaking.


Miss Fury: "HERO!" Fury snaps to get Rubes full attention.


Miss Fury: "You can put yourself at ease as there is nothing to fear from me tonight! I'm not out here to hurt you, nor am I here to embarrass you. That outfit you wear is already doing a fine job of that. What I seek tonight is but an answer to my challenge."


There's a pop from the crowd at the thought of Ruby v. Fury 2! Fury smiles as she observes the audience losing their minds, but Ruby's eyes stay locked on Fury.


Miss Fury: "You have claimed that my reign as this brand's champion was a failure, yet it was you who failed to keep the title out of my "evil" clutches to begin with! I was but a victim in Mr. Lane's games when I lost the title to Vita Valenteen. May I remind you that I squarely defeated your protege before Mr. Lane decided to restart the match due to what he thought was a blatant violation of the rules?"


Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "It wasn't a matter of opinion, she cheated at every turn dude!"


Miss Fury: "Let me ask, where is Vita now? What heights was she able to climb as the champion of the Anarchy brand?"


"Oh yeah!"

Miss Fury: "She allowed THAT to defeat her and tanked all of the progress BOB had made in turning this show into something watchable! But this isn't about Tula Keali'i, it's about circling back to the last time that belt meant something! YOU vs ME! Hero vs Villain! Right vs Wrong! And proving once again that being nice is for suckers, and playing by the rules will get you nowhere! So what do you say Ruby? Does the hero have the... Oh, excuse me..."


Miss Fury retrieves a cell phone from somewhere in that catsuit and begins to tap away at the screen.


Vinnie Lane: "Excuse her? She's texting while out on live TV? What the Hell man!?"


Suddenly the Xtron fires up with an image.

RULE NUMBER TWO: No potty mouths! Because the amount of swearing Ruby does behind the scenes is downright embarrassing.

Miss Fury: "Now, DO YOU HAVE THE FUCKING FORTITUDE TO FACE ME ONE ON ONE ONCE MORE... HERO!?"


Without hesitation, Ruby nods in agreement.


Miss Fury: "Good, the hero has the courage to face her certain doom head-on, and now it's time for the villain to outwit her once more!"


Vinnie Lane: "What's HE doing here!?"


Ruby turns around to a Big Boot from Diesel!


Vinnie Lane: "Diesel just floored the champion with a Big Boot! Is Diesel in BOB!?"


Fury stands atop the stage admiring Diesel's handiwork as he jerks Ruby up to her feet and positions her for the Jackknife Powerbomb! Fury outstretches her arm and gives the thumbs down! Diesel lifts Ruby HIIIIGH up into the air and slams her down to the mat with authority!



But Ruby reverses it into a hurricanrana and is quick to the attack preventing him from getting back to his feet!


Vinnie Lane: "The champion countered that big Powerbomb and Miss Fury isn't pleased!"


Fury tosses the mic and storms down the stage looking to get involved, but as she hits the ring, Centurion emerges from the crowd and cuts her off evening up the numbers game as Ruby stays on top of Diesel keeping him off balance!


Vinnie Lane: "I don't think BOB was ready for Ruby to have backup!"


Centurion and Fury stand toe to toe brawling before Centurion floors Fury with a big right hand! Fury scrambles back to her feet and leaps for the ropes looking to make a hasty retreat, but Centurion grabs her by her mask and rips it right off of her head!


Vinnie Lane: "That's not Miss Fury, it's Osira Themis AGAIN!"


Osira is distracted by losing her mask, allowing Centurion to move in for the kill! Behind him, he doesn't notice that Diesel has landed a big blow to Ruby, knocking her to her knees. Centurion scoops up the Fury imposter into the Fabula Nova Crystallis (one winged angel). He hesitates for a moment as the anger pours from his face. Behind him, Diesel lifts Ruby high up again, and in unison Centurion and Diesel slam their respective opponents to the mat! Ruby hits hard, looking dazed laying in the middle of the ring after the nearly eight-foot slam! Osira on the other hand manages to roll under the bottom rope afterward but is seemingly unable to stand on her own.


Centurion jumps up, turning his attention to Diesel, but Diesel bails out of the ring to check on Osira, allowing Cent to do the same with Ruby. Diesel scoops up Osira who's half out of it and begins walking up the stage with her in his arms as Centurion helps Ruby back to her feet. Cent then hits the ropes and starts talking trash to the retreating diesel and Osira as Diesel just laughs at the vanilla midget.


Loverboy Vinnie Lane: "I'm thinking next Anarchy, we give these for a chance to sort out their issues in the ring dudes!"

The following advertisement MAINEST MAIN EVENT has been paid for by;

A spectacular fireworks display opens the scene inside of a small Japanese wrestling arena as we are greeted by BOB announcer Tommy Savino!


Tommy Savino: "Hello and welcome to a very special presentation! Tonight we will see Miss Fury defending the BOB World Heavyweight Championship for the first time. For more on this match, and why it's happening, take a look at this special interview with the champion herself, Miss Fury!


The scene cuts to a pretaped backstage interview with Tommy Slavino and Miss Fury!


Tommy Slavino: "Miss Fury, would you care to enlighten the fans as to why you have decided to look outside of the XWF for challengers to your World Heavyweight Title?"


Miss Fury: "Of course Tommy, and it's simple. After Chris Page beat this belt off that loser Big D, we decided to take this made-up belt and make it mean something! So we rebranded it the BOB World Heavyweight Championship! Now, with this being a BOB title, and not controlled by the XWF, I decided that the best way to build the prestige of this championship would be to step beyond the small pool of talent currently contracted by the XWF, and defend this belt against the biggest and brightest names in the WORLD! It is a World Heavyweight Title after all, and there's like a whole universe out there not employed by the XWF, like my opponent tonight."


Tommy Slavino: "Speaking of your opponent tonight, any thought that you'd like to share heading into this bout?"


Miss Fury: "Sure! Cock Puncher, you may be criminally unknown in the United States, but your lack of exposure stateside hasn't blinded me to the fact that you're a stand out talent in Japan and one of the very few Gaijins to be considered a legend in that rich wrestling history over there, but make no mistake puncher, I have you scouted, and I'm confident in my ability to defeat you, especially since your special technique will prove quite ineffective in me!"


The scene cuts back to ringside with Tommy Slavino!


Tommy Slavino: "Before we introduce our competitors, let's take a look at the tale of the tape!"




Tommy Slavino: "As you can see, Miss Fury is coming into this match at a stark disadvantage! She's giving up height, weight, reach, and 26 years of experience to the challenger! Can the BOB World Heavyweight Champion overcome the odds to hold onto her championship title? We're going to find out RIGHT NOW!"



Cock Puncher hits the stage and gives us a small karate routine that ends with a split-legged cock punch! If there were fans here tonight, they'd likely go wild! Cock Puncher heads down the stage as a pretaped interview plays in the corner.


Cock Puncher: "Miss Fury, I want to thank you for the opportunity tonight, but if you think that your leaving with that title secured around your waist just because you don't have a cock, well, you've got another thing coming!"


The poorly acted 80's style pop-up promo ends as Slavino is left to try and sell this guy!


Tommy Slavino: "Strong words from our challenger! No doubt about it, he's pumped up and ready to answer the "Furious Challenge" tonight!"


Cock Puncher readies himself in the ring as Miss Fury's music hits!




Tommy Slavino: "The World Heavyweight Champion looks to be in top form tonight! Her recovery time from that spranged ankle she suffered last week is nothing short of miraculous!"


Miss Fury doesn't waste time posturing to the non-audience and charges straight for the ring. She slides in and takes her place in the corner talking trash to the challenger as the official, Ari Silversteen takes the World Title and holds it up to remind both competitors what's on the line tonight!


Tommy Slavino: "Cock Puncher is no stranger to championship titles, a former JWO Interverse champion, Elvulation Nero United States Champion, AND!! NJWF All-Division Champion!! Just to name a few!"


Has ANYONE state side heard of ANY of those feds???


Tommy Slavino: "But tonight he faces possibly the toughest challenge in his career when he challenges Miss Fury for the BOB World Championship in a match that will be contested under "Fury's Rules"! If you aren't aware of what that means. It means that there are no rules when Miss Fury is involved!"


Ari calls for the bell as the two competitors push out of their corners and meet in the center of the ring. Both are on their guard and hesitate to make the first move as they circle the ring. A cocky smile creeps onto Johnny's face as he extends his hand for a test of strength. Miss Fury's eyes dart up at his muscular arm with an uneasy gaze. Johnny takes note of her fear and taunts her.


"PROVE YOU'RE THE BEST!"


Fury reaches out for his hand, but pulls away right before they lock up!


Tommy Slavino: "You can't blame her! Cock Puncher is MUCH bigger and stronger than her!"


Cock Puncher continues to taunt Miss Fury. She works up the courage and reaches out again this time they lock up! Cock Puncher cinches in with the height and weight advantage, but Fury moves in with a knee to the sternum! Cock Puncher doubles over and Fury hits the ropes, rebounding in with a Shotgun Dropkick to the chest that sends Cock Puncher into the corner!


Tommy Slavino: "Big-time Dropkick from the champion! I'd like to note that to my knowledge, this is the first time that Miss Fury has employed that move! That's notable because it appears to be ripped right out of Kenzi Grey's repertoire and Miss Fury has stated that she's the REAL Face of Anarchy! I think that she's proving it tonight folks!"


Miss Fury rushes in with wild rights to the side of Cock Punchers head! He begins to slink down into the corner, but Fury pulls him back up and steps through the ropes, locking him in the Furys Gate - Rope-hung Boston Crab! Cock Puncher yells out in pain as Ari checks for the submission, but Cock Puncher uses his superior strength to break out of the hold! He struggles to recover as Miss Fury steps through the ropes and delivers some well-placed kicks to the small of his back! She then whips him into the ropes and sweeps the leg on the rebound! Cock Puncher falls off balance and tumbles to the outside! Miss Fury hits the ropes and dives through the top and middle ropes with a dropkick to the back of his head that sends him stumbling into the barricade! Fury is right on top of him delivering knife edge chops to the chest before grabbing Cock Puncher by the back of his head and ramming him headfirst into the ring post, but Cock Puncher blocks it and sends Fury face-first into the post instead! He quickly rolls her into the ring and follows in behind. Fury is a bit woozy as she climbs to her feet and not ready at all as Cock Puncher rushes in with a series of weak karate strikes designed to keep her off balance more than anything!


Tommy Slavino: "If you're a fan of Japanese wrestling, then you've all seen this before!"


Cock Puncher has Fury on the ropes! He drops to the mat with a split and throws a devastatingly powerful punch at her midsection!


Tommy Slavino: "The Cock Punch! This could be over!"


Miss Fury is doubled over in pain, but still on her feet. Cock Puncher moves in to finish her off, but as soon as he lays hands on her, Fury springs to life, whipping around him and locking in The Black Widow (Octopus Hold)!


Tommy Slavino: "Wait, NO! Miss Fury lured him in for The Black Widow! Is he gonna tap!?"






















Cock Puncher almost immediately taps out and Ari calls for the bell!

Winner by Submission and STILL BOB World Heavyweight Champion - Miss Fury!

Miss Fury is awarded her championship title and celebrates in the ring. Cock Puncher recovers and offers his hand in a sign of good sportsmanship, but Fury kicks him in the balls and then proceeds blast him in the face with the BOB World Heavyweight Championship! Cock Puncher drops to the mat and Fury kicks at him until he rolls out of the ring.


Tommy Slavino: "Miss Fury just leveled Cock Puncher after the match and I can't say that I blame her! That was a hard-fought victory for Miss Fury here in her first official defense of the BOB World Championship, and this clown wanted to steal the spotlight away from the champion with his pitiful respect routine! You want respect, beat BOB! Anyway, folks, that's all the time we have for this week! Be sure to tune in next week when BOB once again brings you the most exciting action on TV as we travel to New Zealand where Miss Fury will face the next challenger for her title!"

The proceeding advertisement MAINEST MAIN EVENT was paid for by;

SPECIAL THANKS: Miss Fury Sarah Lacklan John Black Marf

That was a fun little show! Good work guys!

entertaining show

Really great show!