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Jim "the Jim" Jimson · (01-30-2021)

Jim Jimson: Hey Jim.

Jim Jimson: Yea Jim?

Jim Jimson: You see our latest match?

Jim Jimson: Yea.

Jim Jimson: You see the people in it?

Jim Jimson: Yea.

Jim Jimson: It’s a match.

Jim Jimson: It sure is, what else

Jim Jimson: it's a match... with people in it.

Jim Jimson: …….Yeeeeea, what else…..

Jim Jimson: It looks really tough

Jim Jimson: Huh?

Jim Jimson: Yeah, the competition looks tough, it’s gonna be hard to make them look better than me. The Dolphin overlords running XWF only want to make my job harder! How am I supposed to make the next generation of jobbers believe that all jobbers are jobbers and they always lose, when I face off against such terrible wrestlers! My work is seriously cut out for me.

Jim Jimson: What are you talking about! You are the greatest of all jobbers! You can’t give up, Jim! There has to be SOMEONE on the enemy team that isn’t the drizzling shits!

Jim Jimson: Okay, lets process of elimination it, first we got, the autumn king himself, Oswald, he's hit and miss, he may be able to pin me, but he gets a -10 debuff whenever the season isn’t autumn so that’s a no go, plus he’s in BOB and isn’t TK or Bourbon so, he’s a complete non-factor. No way I can make him look good, I’m a jobber not a magician.

Jim Jimson: Then there’s Savannah Knightley, all I know about her is that she is a person that in fact is a woman

Cool Jimson: Eh, she’s not really that hot

Jim Jimson: Is that cause she’s not a tranny

Cool Jimson: HEY! THAT SARAH GIRL WAS DEFINITELY A WOMAN! I WOULD KNOW!

Jim Jimson: I don’t think you would, you lasted like 0.0000000001 seconds, who knows maybe Savannah is a tgirl, she literally hasn’t said a single word. Ever.

Cool Jimson: AH SHUT UP!

Cool Jimson quietly leaves out of shame

Jim Jimson: Well, Knightley is off the list, next we got Claude Savage, he’s a new guy and is the deathmatch guy who throws everything at his opponents and more ya-da ya-da ya-da, you’ll never see him coming you get the deal, looks like he's better than oswald, but he’s new and it’s yet to be seen if he’s got a future or if he’s going to lose like a matches and leave, only time will tell, if the “murder horse” is just another indy deathmatch guy or if he actually has anything in him.

Jim Jimson: Wait, Jim. This guy is an indy deathmatch guy.

Jim Jimson: Yep… Why?

Jim Jimson: Those guys get paid in peanuts or monopoly money or something cheap to jump off a ladder into a flaming table and lose like 20 years off there career. In XWF we get paid in XWF themed monopoly money! When the xwf monopoly game starts, this guy is going to have one hell of a head start!

Jim Jimson: Shit ur right! He’s gonna buy all the property when everyone else trying to conserve and build up money!

Jim Jimson: Dammit Jim! I’m fine with losing matches but losing in monopoly? That is where the line is crossed!

Jim Jimson: This guy is dangerous, we can’t let him get stronger, we can’t let him pin us, this isn’t about the match, this is about not going bankrupt in the first 20 turns. He's out Who else is there?

Jim Jimson: Orisa Themis.

Jim Jimson: Huh, don't you mean Atara?

Jim Jimson: No, Orisa, it's Atara’s sister

Jim Jimson: What's wrong with Atara? Is she doing something for the shooting star title on snowjob?

Jim Jimson: Nah, I don't think so

Jim Jimson: Is she sick or something? I should probably write a get well letter

Jim Jimson: You should, but after we finish up with this pinning predicament, who is going to pin us?

Jim Jimson: Not a Themis, that's for sure. Next up is Tommy Gunn, some dude who said he broke into the capital not because he’s a trump supporter, but because he’s an american worried about the future of america and how the rich have created a new form of slavery where we are caged down by billionaires working us for millions will we get little to nothing blah blah blah the dude’s a patriot, but not the tattoo’d deer fur wearing patriot. Oh and he said XWF is going downhill, because is isn't a one off legend return if they don’t talk about how the XWF is worse than it was before.

Jim Jimson: Well yes, XWF is worse than it was before, I’m wrestling here, as the world's greatest jobber I lower the credibility of companies by just being present, wait is this guy even in the match, I think he mentioned it?

Jim Jimson: I think he's in it

Jim Jimson: By virtue of being a legend. He does seem to be someone who can pin me, but I think he’s running for mayorship in a small town that really really likes early 2000s XWF and his speech somehow was classifed as a promo, I think it’s a typo with him in the match

Jim Jimson: Yeah, you’re probably right, myself.

Jim Jimson: Is there anyone else?

Jim Jimson: Nah, nobody important, just some dork.

Jim Jimson: Damn…. Gunn was right, XWF [i[is[/i] going downhill seems like everyone in this is shit, it’s almost like XWf needs to fill time and put 12 random wrestlers in a random match.

Jim Jimson: We can’t give up Jim, this is what we don’t train for, we don’t train every day and every night so that even the most pathetic of wrestlers can look good when compared to us, this is a challenge that even the best of jobbers, like Finn Kuhn would shutter at, only we can accomplish this, we must pave the way for the future of the art of jobbing you gotta be a role model, for not-so-young jobbers like Liam Roberts & Savannah Knightley we must get our arse kicked so that they can have a future.

Jim Jimson: DO IT JIM! DON’T GIVE UP! Unless of course if you are in a submission then you should give up…. But in the context of not winning the match YOU MUST DO THIS, YOU CAN DO IT, JIM!!!

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