LIVE!!! FROM THE SAMES AUTO ARENA IN LAREDO, TEXAS! "Mad" Maxine - vs - Holy Roman War Horse Laredo Brawl Match! Brawl 4 All Rules in effect! Boxing gloves, takedowns, and KO's ONLY! Boris - vs - "Notorious" Ned Kaye THUGS (Tommy Wish & John Black) - vs - Ruby & Kenzi Grey Texas Choice Match! Throughout the week, we'll be tabulating votes from the fans in Texas... the competitors won't know what the match stipulation is until THE NIGHT OF THE SHOW!! The Left Hand (Tula Keali'i, Baphomet, Ash Quinn) - vs - B.O.B. (Micheal Graves, Big Money Oswald, Barney Green) Texas Tornado Match! No tags needed - first fall WINS!

Cameras zip and zoom all over the Sames Arena, because WE GOT CAMBOT DRONES BABY!

Fireworks and pyro light off all around the arena as the intro music blares. Finally, the view settles on “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane as he taps a pen on his ringside desk to the beat of the music.


Vinnie Lane: "HEY HEY! This is the LAS Anarchy before Snow Job! And boy oh boy is it gonna be a fun one! We’ve got a mess of a main event, because we don’t know WHAT’s going on with the Left Hand… but I’m sure Tula will figure it out in time to square off with the Baddies of BOB! We’ve also got former champions Ruby and Kenzi Grey teaming together to face the THUGS in a match picked by the fans!”


Vinnie opens his arms up for the crowd as the camera pans out, and people go wild because they’re on TV!


Vinnie Lane: "Not to mention the Hart Champion “Notorious” Ned Kaye in action against Boris, who is always fun to watch. BUT FIRST! I had a TERRIBLE idea to do a BRAWL 4 ALL!!! Let’s go to the ring!”

"Mad" Maxine - vs - Holy Roman War Horse Laredo Brawl Match! Brawl 4 All Rules in effect! Boxing gloves, takedowns, and KO's ONLY!

Mad Maxine comes marching out to the ring while Roxy Cotton’s music starts up. All this time and she still hasn’t gotten her own theme song yes that’s correct. She’s got boxing gloves on her already meaty mitts and looks all business. She enters the ring and the referee quickly checks her over to make sure her mouth guard is in place and all that jazz. Maxine finishes up with the referee and then heads to her corner and waits while her coaches talk to her.


[color=#ff1493]Vinnie Lane: “Alright what a great way to open the show here with a brawl for all baby!”


That Verdi requiem dies irae Karajan song hits as Holy Roman War Horse makes his way out. He also has the boxing gloves on and even sports some boxing trunks with weird camouflage patterns on them. He slides into the ring and does a little shuffle that nobody really responds to mostly because they don’t care. Referee Richard Wang gives him the check over before sending him off to his corner.


Vinnie Lane: “Well it looks like the ref is satisfied and we’re ready to rock!”


The first round begins with Maxine and Roman being forced to touch gloves to start. Maxine looks annoyed but does it and they back away before the bell rings to start. Roman begins hopping and shuffling while the larger Maxine doesn’t exactly do a whole lot of hopping. Roman gets close and looks for a few quick jabs to the body. He bobs and weaves before hitting Maxine a few more times in the side. She suddenly swings a heavy punch at Roman and even though he blocks it with his gloves he still stumbles back.

Roman moves forward and Maxine launches another big right hook that Roman dodges this time. He hits a nice uppercut to her kidney and follows up with a jab to her head that knocks her back a bit. Maxine stumbles to the middle of the ring while Roman looks to capitalize. He rushes her but she surprised him with a heavy jab that knocks him backwards. Roman falls but rolls back and is right back on his feet. The referee still checks on him but doesn’t register a count.


Vinnie Lane: “Holy moly Roman has gotta watch that knockout power of Maxine!”


Roman begins attempting to hop and bob around to avoid Maxine but she closes in by cutting off the ring. Roman throws a few quick jabs that are all brushed off. He weaves in and out with a couple body shots. Maxine fires off a hard jab followed by a hook and punch combination that Roman narrowly blocks. He back steps closer to the corner and Maxine throws a huge haymaker that Roman somersaults underneath and gets himself to the middle of the ring.

Maxine turns around in a rage and charges after Roman. She throws another big punch that Roman sidesteps. He then throws a low hook directly into her unprotected side. Maxine visibly winces before turning and throwing an illegal back fist that Roman avoids. He jabs her in the face now but then the bell rings as the round is over. Roman turns and Maxine shoves him to the mat before the referee breaks it up. Maxine is screaming while Roman goes back to his corner enraged now.


Vinnie Lane: “Bit of a cheap shot there from Maxine. My completely unofficial scorecard has Roman the Horse ahead as far as punches thrown and landed.”


Roman’s corner continuously warns him to be more careful while Maxine’s corner doesn’t say much as they’re all terrified of her. They both get up as the referee tells them the next round is about to start. They prepare themselves as their corners attempt some last bit of advice.


Vinnie Lane: “Okay here we go round two babyyyy!”


Referee Mika Hunt in a bikini is shoved into the ring with a big card that says 2 on it. She’s clearly been crying and mouths “I don’t want to do this!” But, times are tough and she needs the money.

The bell rings as round two is underway. Roman meets Maxine in the middle and is still hopping around while Maxine seems even less mobile. Roman starts off with some jabs and light hooks until Maxine has her arms up to block. Roman sees the opportunity and sends a sharp jab to her ribs that backs Maxine up. Roman follows up with a flurry of shots around her midsection and side until Maxine grabs hold of him. The referee starts yelling at her and counting but Maxine throws Roman into the corner. The referee tried to warn her but she ignores him.

Roman collects himself in the corner as Maxine is bearing down on him. She throws a big shot that Roman shuffled away from and counters with a solid hook into Maxine’s ribs once again. She crashes into the corner and stumbles back while doubled over. Her hands are down to protect her sides and ribs. Roman sends a vicious uppercut at her unprotected head and connects. Right as he connects Maxine throws a desperation haymaker and cracks Roman across the jaw as she’s falling. Maxine drops back and falls through the ropes while Roman flies backwards and falls out of the ring too. The both flop on the floor to absolutely nobody’s dismay. The referee counts them both for the hell of it.

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10!!!

Double knockout no contest!!!

Vinnie Lane: “Wow what an unsatisfying finish! Nobody wins! That didn’t last long!”


Maxine is finally getting to her feet dazed, the referee having to explain they’ve both lost. Roman climbs to his feet and raises his arms to the crowd, screaming that he ACTUALLY won and everyone needed to stop the steal... with the crowd not showing much love in return. Someone in the crowd actually shouts “suck my holy horse” to a round of laughs. Roman flips him off and turns around into a huge running big boot from Maxine. She hauls Roman to his feet and sets him up then nails Maximum Overdrive, and the crowd cheers.


Vinnie Lane: “Maxine is NOT reacting well to the double knockout...yikes!”

The scene opens up to THUGS, JB and Tommy, at the locker room in Sames Auto arena. As they are getting themselves geared up, they end up seeing the same exact prostitute who resembled as Brink, in her red dress and heels who’ve done the deed with both of them during their “speech” that they recorded. As Tommy hugs up on her and stuff, JB just stands there looking stand offish over seeing her.

“Tommy, why did you bring her to the show?”

“C’mon man… we might need some company later on after the show. We need to be able to have some fun.”

Then the prostitute comes up to JB, and he tries to ignore her flirtations, but ended up getting his metal masked removed, and his cheek being rubbed on by her finger.

“Tommy is right, you both might need some company. In fact, I got a friend that you can meet after the show tonight. She’ll be real a real treat for you, Johnny Boy.”

Then she does her seductive walk with her hips swaying about out of the locker room, and JB then looks at Tommy, who in turns gives him that smirk. Before they head out to the ring, Sayors ends up coming to the door with his mic in his hand to ask them some questions.

“So Tommy and JB… how do you feel about your match up against the team of Ruby and Kenzi?”

Tommy then snatches the mic from him, and speaks. JB stands there looking all menacing and mad, as he responds to the inane question.

“To be honest, not much else to say… I mean, look at them… whatever these fans choose for us to fight in, they are going to be much of a fan favorite. I know that, if I have my hands on Kenzi I want her to feel her ankle break at a moments notice, ya feel me? I want to go all Kurt Angle with my his own spin of my own “I’ll make your ankle hurt” in homage to him. Im not down with Bestiality sex… but she can be the exception to that rule, and she don’t have to worry about a dog tryin to jack her for some bacon. JB, you got something to say?”

Tommy tosses the mic to him, as he lurks around the locker room and he finds a pair of Tula’s dirty and sweat soaked socks, which he inhales and caresses. Then JB almost corpsing on camera when he did it, but looked straight into the camera with seriousness.

“I have something to say… Ruby… I don’t have no beef with you, but you felt like you needed to censor yourself in your own promo? Man, you make The Hurricane look like a saint with his southern personality. I want to let you know, that I can’t wait to get my hands on you and strangle you with that cape of yours, and turn into Rubio by the end of our fan picked match. I can’t wait to make sure that the supavillain like myself leave an imprint on your dome. So Ruby, get ready to feel the pain when we come in that ring tonight.”

Then Sayors get the mic back from JB, and the duo just leaves the locker room, as Sayors looked confused with what transpired as the next segment happens.

Vinnie Lane: "That music can only mean one thing: Boris is in the house!!!!"


The fans give an appropriate response as Boris walks out onto the ramp and heads down the aisle, enjoying a few sips of some prematch vodka through his mask as he walks.


Vinnie Lane: "Popeye has his spinach, Hogan has his 'vitamins', and Boris has his vodka!"


With alcohol dripping down his mask onto his clothes, Boris wipes where his mouth likely is before climbing up the steps and into the ring. He takes another drink as he waits in the corner for his opponent to come out.

The entire stadium goes black as "Burning Bright(Field on Fire)" by Nine Inch Nails begins. Slowly, the X-Tron begins to show scarce, glowing embers, the light of each one illuminating smoke growing at the entrance of the ramp. As the song continues, more embers are seen until a large fire is displayed on the screen. The ramp then glows Ned's famous blue, revealing a silhouette in the smoke. Slowly stepping from the fog is none other then Notorious Ned Kaye, Hart Championship slung over his shoulder.


Vinnie Lane: "And here comes the Hart Champion!"


Ned stops for a moment, calming himself in front of the clamoring crowd. He lifts an arm, eyeing the stands to watch the many audience members who follow suit. With a single smile, he drops his arm and rushes towards the ring, slipping in from under the bottom rope, picking himself up immediately. As he does so, Boris takes a step forward and offers him a drink, which the Notorious One politely refuses.


Vinnie Lane: "A good call by Ned, who has an ugly history of alcohol abuse, including nearly killing a guy in a drunken rage!"


Boris shrugs off Kaye's refusal and offers some to the referee, who happily accepts. He finishes off the bottle before tossing it to the side and calling for the bell.

Boris - vs - "Notorious" Ned Kaye

Vinnie Lane: "A win over the Hart Champion would be HUGE for Boris."


Ned and Boris circle each other for a moment before tying up in the middle of the ring. Kaye gets the advantage with a side Headlock, which he uses to propel Boris down to the mat and hold him there. This only lasts a few seconds, though, as Boris uses his strength to stand up and pull the Hart Champion with him, before falling backwards for a Backdrop. Despite the impact, Ned manages to keep the hold locked in tight.


Vinnie Lane: "Ned's holding onto Boris like his life depends on it!"


It doesn't take long for Boris to bring himself, AND Ned, back to their feet. He drops back to the ropes and uses the momentum to shove the Notorious One off him. However, to Boris' chagrin, Ned grabs onto his arm and drags him down to the mat. The Slav quickly gets back up, only to be met with a Dropkick that puts him right back down. With the Hart Champion at the ready, Boris chooses to stay down and roll out of the ring to a chorus of boos.


Vinnie Lane: "The fans may not like it, but sometimes you need a second or nine to catch your breath!"


Boris takes a breather with his hands on his hips as the referee starts a 10 count. Ned Kaye walks over to the nearest corner and begins climbing the turnbuckles, despite the ref telling him not to. The hyped up Hart Champion waits for Boris to turn around before jumping off in an attempted Ego Crusher. He lands with his legs around his opponent's head and attempts to spin him, but Boris plays into the spin, getting close to the barricade and causing Ned to collide with it. The fans gasp in horror as the Notorious One's head smacks against the barrier, causing him to go limp.


Vinnie Lane: "Not only was NED'S ego crushed there, pretty sure his head was, too!"


Boris wastes no time grabbing his opponent and rolling him into the ring, before sliding in and laying across him for the cover.

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FOOT ON THE ROPE!!!!!!!!


Vinnie Lane: "Ned just barely saved himself the embarrassment of losing to a drunken Slav right there!"


Boris picks Ned up and delivers a Scoop Slam, which he follows up with an Elbow Drop and another cover.

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KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!

Immediately after the kickout, Boris wraps his right arm around Ned's throat and locks in a Sleeper Hold on the ground.


Vinnie Lane: "Boris is trying to wear down the Hart Champion. These moves might not do alot of damage physically, but they'll go a long way in keeping your opponent grounded."


Boris does his best to gain leverage by lifting his pudgy body into the air, but gravity brings him back down almost immediately. He tries it once more, only to come down even faster than the first time, giving Ned a small window to begin fighting to his feet as the fans cheer him on. The Notorious One makes it to a knee, followed by a second one, allowing him to Elbow Boris in the midsection before standing up. Kaye delivers another Elbow to the gut, followed by a third, causing Boris to let go and back away. Ned then runs to the ropes and back at his opponent, who catches him with a Black Hole Slam that silences the crowd.


Vinnie Lane: "Boris put a quick end to Ned's momentum! He's looking to end it here with a cover!"


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KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!

Boris counts to 3 in his native tongue, only for the ref to shrug at him and motion for them to continue. The Slav drags Ned to his feet and whips him into the corner before charging in his direction. Before Boris can do anything, Ned gets a boot up, which sends his opponent stumbling backwards. The Hart Champion then runs at his opponent and attempts a Notorious Knee, but Boris steps out of the way and catches him in mid-air. He then brings Ned down, back first, onto his knee and keeps him there in some sort of Backbreaker submission hold.


Vinnie Lane: "We could end up with TWO Hart Champions by the time this one's over: Ned's top half, and his bottom half!"


Boris applies pressure, but Ned manages to wiggle his legs free from his opponent's grasp. This causes the weight being applied to his top portion to flip him over, onto his feet. Before Boris can react, Ned connects with a Notorious Knee that drops his opponent, before collapsing to the mat himself as the fans cheer him on.


Vinnie Lane: "We might have a Notorious comeback on our hands if Ned can make it to his feet first!"


Eventually, both men begin to stir, with Boris being one step ahead of the Hart Champion. He grabs Ned and walks him over to the corner, where he proceeds to smash his face into the top turnbuckle as the audience counts.

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Before Boris can hit #7, Ned shoves his arm away and pulls him into the corner. The Notorious One then climbs up onto the second rope and begins hammering away at Boris as the crowd counts for him.

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Boris walks out from under Ned and shoves him over the top rope onto the apron. XWF's resident Slav turns his back to his opponent in celebration, not realizing Ned managed to land on his feet.


Vinnie Lane: "Ned could be looking to discipline Boris for his lack of awareness!"


Boris turns around as Ned Kaye pulls on the top rope and uses the momentum of it to cartwheel over the ropes, wrapping his legs around the neck of his opponent and taking him to the mat with a Headscissors pin.

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KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!


Vinnie Lane: "Boris has no plans to lay down for a Western spy!"


Ned gets to his feet and heads over to the corner, where he climbs out onto the apron and ascends the turnbuckles. He motions for Boris to get up, which he does practically on cue, before jumping off in his opponent's direction. As Ned goes for the Ego Crusher, Boris manages to step to the side and grab him, slipping behind his opponent in mid-air and locking in a Crossface Chickenwing in the middle of the ring.


Vinnie Lane: "Cheeki Breeki!!!!! Boris is looking to make Ned submit like Donald Trump does to Putin!"


Boris tries to pull Ned to the mat, but the Notorious One refuses to go down. The two struggle for a bit, with Boris applying pressure to his opponent as Kaye tries to pull them closer to the ropes. Despite his efforts, Ned isn't able to get near the ropes so he tries the corner instead. Boris uses all his might to try and prevent the Hart Champion from moving, but Ned's heart overpowers his opponent's strength. With a few steps, Ned is able to get one if his feet onto the second turnbuckle and use it to kick himself backwards, pinning Boris' shoulders to the mat while still locked in the submission hold.


Vinnie Lane: "This is how he beat TK a few weeks back, will history repeat itself tonight?!?"


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KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!


Vinnie Lane: "Boris must've watched the tape of that match!...................... awwww, who am I kidding? We know Boris doesn't prepare for his fights!"


Ned gets up a second before Boris, allowing him to crack him in the skull with another Notorious Knee. With his opponent on wobbly legs, the Notorious One runs at him, but Boris is able to step aside and shove Ned past him. The Hart Champion catches himself on the top rope, preventing himself from bouncing back at Boris. Seeing this, the Slav charges at his opponent, who gets a boot up......................... only for Boris to catch it and fling Ned upwards. Kaye is able to use the momentum to do a complete 360 backflip over the rope so that his feet land on the apron, receiving a positive reaction from the impressed crowd.


Vinnie Lane: "Could we see another T.D.A.?"


Before Ned can do anything, Boris rushes in his direction, only to be greeted with a Notorious Elbow that stumbles him.


Ned pulls on the top rope and goes to cartwheel over, but Boris pushes him backwards in mid-air, causing him to fly into the barricade. He lands awkwardly, receiving gasps from the crowd as the referee begins to count.

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Boris puts his arms in the air, prematurely celebrating a victory he hasn't yet achieved.




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Ned slowly begins to stir, grabbing at his neck as he crawls towards the ring.



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The Notorious One tries to pull himself up by the ring skirt, but all he can do is lay against the apron as the referee counts him out a moment before he rolls back in.


Then the lights go out. We can hear muffled activity, grunts, and slams onto the mat.


Vinnie Lane: "Why are the lights always going out in these places, dude? What’s going on in the ring? I can’t SEE!"


When the arena lights come back up, both Boris and Ned are lying in the center of the ring knocked unconscious. A pair of lead pipes lie next to them. Referee Virginia Hymen looks confused, but she sees a job to be done.


Vinnie Lane: "Someone attacked both of these men… but Boris was placed on top of Ned Kaye! Ginny needs to make the count!"





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3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Boris

Vinnie Lane: "I don’t know what happened, and I don’t think Boris knows either, but when he wakes up he’ll find out he won a HUGE match here tonight… with some help!"

Vinnie Lane: "Hol-Hold on! I'm getting word that we are trying to get a camera backstage..."

We cut backstage where the cameraman is hurrying down a hallway shaky-cam style! Pushing through one of the exits we enter the parking lot where we see a group of XWF officials and a few wrestlers standing in a group around a car. As we draw closer it becomes apparent they are checking on Vita Valenteen who has seemingly been thrown through the windshield of her own car!


Vinnie Lane: "I'm being told that Vita Valenteen was found like this just moments ago, and we don't have any information on who attacked her!"


XWF medical personnel arrive on the scene and begin tending to Vita. They clean up some of the blood that covers her face before stabilizing her neck in preparation of moving her to the ambulance. The crowd of officials and wrestlers look on concerned.


Vinnie Lane: "I don't think that we need anyone to confirm who was behind this heinous attack! No doubt about it, BO-"


Suddenly the lights dim as Miss Fury's X-tron flashes over the stage!





Miss Fury steps out to the stage with a microphone in hand. The crowd sends a mixed message as the majority seem to boo the villainous leader of the criminal wrestling organization known as BOB while a smaller but vocal section of the crowd chats along with the song.

JOIN US!

JOIN US!

JOIN US!

She is accompanied by fellow BOB members Bobby Bourbon, Thunder Knuckles, Barney Green, Oswald Autem, and Jenny Myst in a rare Anarchy appearance.

"We were sitting backstage minding our own business when we saw what happened to Vita."

Fury and the rest of BOB look to Lane with a knowing smirk.

"I sure do hope that she's okay! It's a real tragedy that such violence is a constant threat to the safety of the talent around here. Since Vinnie refuses to spare the extra expense for security that's not completely incompetent, I saw that the blame for this vicious attack should fall squarely on his shoulders!"


Vinnie Lane: "OH COME ON!"


"More importantly, with Vita obviously now unable to compete at Snow Job, it's now up to Lane to save Anarchy's main attraction by adding ME to the match in Vita's place!"


Vinnie Lane: "NO WAY DUDE!"


Robbie and TK lead the rest BOB towards the announce table. Lane, realizing that even in his prime taking on five people at once wouldn't be a good idea, throws his hands up to show he isn't a threat as the members of BOB surround him.


Vinnie Lane: "Whoa-whoa dudes!"


Bourbon grabs Lane by his shirt collar, lifting him out of his seat for a face to face. Bobby barks orders at Lane. Lane nods agreeingly, hoping to deescalate the situation.


Vinnie Lane: "Fine! You're in the match! You're in the match!"


Fury smiles as Bobby drops Lane back to his seat and him and the other BOB's laugh and gesture obscenities at him.

"The Queen Bitch Of BOB is BACK! And at Snow Job The Anarchy Title is coming back to where it belongs!"

Fury makes a belt motion around her waist as the crowd boos.

THUGS (Tommy Wish & John Black) - vs - Ruby & Kenzi Grey Texas Choice Match! Throughout the week, we'll be tabulating votes from the fans in Texas... the competitors won't know what the match stipulation is until THE NIGHT OF THE SHOW!!

Vinnie Lane: "BAD NEWS from the medical staff, everyone… it looks like Vita Valenteen will NOT be able to participate in Snow Job’s fourway elimination Anarchy Championship match… and… as much as it pains me… the most recent former champion before Vita was MISS FURY! So she will be inserted into the match in Vita’s place! That seems REALLY unfair, but threeway elimination matches are just dumb, it’s GOTTA be four!”

Tommy Wish and John Black head down to the ring as the crowd boos. They let it slide right off their shoulders because they give zero fucks about what the crowd thinks of them.

Getting in the ring they stand and wait for their opponents.


Vinnie Lane: "The THUGS are looking good tonight! They look ready for WAR!”

The crowd goes CRAZY as Ruby emerges from the back, striking a rad superhero pose at the top of the ramp before she heads down to the ring. Halfway there, she stops to help an elderly fan with directions to the bathroom… and even rescues a stray cat that was hiding behind the sound equipment! Where did she get a saucer of milk? Who knows! She’s a hero!

And they CONTINUE TO GO NUTS as Kenzi Grey, the self-proclaimed “Face of Anarchy” heads out from the back and joins Ruby halfway down the ramp! They give each other a high five… and then a high ten! Teamwork!


Vinnie Lane: "What a response from this crowd! Ruby and Kenzi are looking like a great team tonight… but can they COEXIST leading into Snow Job, when both of them will be in the ring at the same time, facing off for the Anarchy Championship??? We’ll see!”


The camera zooms in on Vinnie at ringside as all four combatants stand in the ring, waiting to find out what sort of match they’ll be performing in.

Vinnie is handed a golden envelope from a crewman, and he rips it open as he stands.


Vinnie Lane: “Ladies and gentlemen, the PEOPLE have spoken! As tabulated by Dominion Counting Machines, the stipulation that won from our fan vote in a LANDSLIDE… 145% of the vote, actually! Really impressive! The stipulation will be… BRA AND PANTIES MATCH! The match will end when the opponents are BOTH stripped down to their skivvies! Ring the bell, dude!”


Kenzi looks insanely angry, and she screams out of the ring at Vinnie.


Kenzi: “Vinnie dammit I don’t have any draws on! What the hell!”


Vinnie just shrugs as referee Chaz Bobo calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!!!

Tommy BEGS JB to go first, so Black lets him. He leaps at Kenzi and starts yanking at her tights, trying to rip them off of her body. Grey responds with a V-Trigger knee that sends Wish sprawling. She then realizes Tommy is wearing a full body gimp suit under his cargo shorts and wife beater. LOTS of buckles and zippers. A whole lot.


Vinnie Lane: “Is that normal? Does Tommy always wear that? I don’t think I’ve ever noticed him wearing a whole rubber suit before, dude…”


Kenzi throws her hands up but manages to pull Tommy’s tank top off over his head. She looks at it and wrinkles her nose at the WIDE underarm stains. Who sweats through a rubber suit? Tommy Wish does, that’s who.

Wish jumps up and pulls Kenzi’s face down hard on the top of his head, cracking her teeth together. Tommy hops to his feet and spins into a cyclone lariat that drops Grey onto her back. Once again Tommy looks to tear away at her tights, even going as far as to gnaw on the shoulder strap of her top. Kenzi screeches and pops him right in the nose.

Kenzi then grabs Wish by the ankles and starts stomping him in the abdomen. She stomps away at him, really testing his situp regimen. She starts untying his New Balance 990v4s, ripping one of them off and then immediately falling to her knees, gagging and clutching her throat.

Tommy sees he’s got a chance, so he pulls his dirty, toeless sock off and crams it into Kenzi’s mouth! Kenzi’s eyes roll back in her head and she goes limp! Here comes Ruby to knock Tommy down and break the grip he had with that filthy laundry, but the damage is done.


Vinnie Lane: “Ruby broke it up, but Kenzi has been put to sleep by whatever combination of bacteria and fungi lives in Tommy Wish’s socks. Chaz Bobo has no choice but to back Ruby out of the ring, and Tommy is just pulling away at Kenzi’s top now.


BOING!


Vinnie Lane: “Holy crap! He got it!”


Wish falls backward onto the mat and his eyes go wide when he sees he’s got Kenzi’s top in his hands! And Kenzi was right… she’s got nothing but skin on underneath!

Kenzi covers her chest up with her hands, holding her braids in front of her to obscure the view as well. Viewers at home are treated with superimposed pictures of Vinnie Lane’s face hovering over her nipples. It’s family TV, folks!

A big roundhouse kick sends Wish to the mat, and Kenzi quickly tags out to Ruby. Ruby nods and enters the ring, offering a spare mask to Kenzi to use as a sports bra.


Vinnie Lane: “That’s WAY more fabric than Kenzi needs anyway! Good job, Rubes!”


From the back, we see Bobbi London running down to the ring waving a spare set of matching panties with a bra. We’re talking L cups here, minimum. And the panties could probably house a family of three.

Bobbi: “Here you’s go love! Use me undies so you’s don’t end up bare-arsed on the telly!”

Kenzi takes the lingerie from Bobbi at ringside and holds them up, spreading her hands far apart to unravel the entire thing. Her eyes go wide at the sheer scope.

Kenzi: “UHHHH… Bobbi, no offense, but this is like a lace burka on me! Don’t you have something closer to my size?”

Bobbi: “Well I’s brought a pair out of Maxy’s bag, just in case! She gots a much smaller waist than me… no junk in that trunk at all!”

Bobbi then hands over a pair of men’s BVDs. Probably a size 36 waist at least. Definitely worn.

Kenzi: “No thanks! I’ll just use the mask Ruby gave me!”

Bobbi: “Suit you’s self, snowflake! Lookin’ a gift wallaby in the mouth, you is!”

Bobbi leaves in a huff as Kenzi stretches the elastic mask over her chest. She inadvertently leaves the eye holes in the front, however, and there are definitely a pair of little brown nubs just barely poking out. Not a lot, but probably enough to get your photo banned from Instagram.

Anyway, back in the ring, Ruby has been beating the crap out of Wish. He finally breaks free long enough to make a tag, and JB comes into the ring with bad intentions! He brawls with Ruby in the center of the ring, getting the best of her. Then he pulls her up by the hair and drapes her over his shoulders… DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Just like that, he hit the BLACKLISTED on Ruby! She’s on dream street!

Kenzi hurries into the ring but Tommy Wish sprints across from his corner and spears her right out through the ropes. Black rolls Ruby onto her belly and unzips her Super Dear-O costume… he gets it over her shoulders, and then WHIPS IT OFF!


Vinnie Lane: “Dear… God...”


Ruby stands up as JB holds her suit in his hands. She smiles and gives a thumbs up, still fully clad in a SECOND Super Dear-O suit that she was wearing underneath!

Ruby: “You can never be TOO prepared, bud!”

Ruby then jumps upward and crashes her boots into Black’s face with a perfect drop kick! The first suit flies out of the ring and lands on Tommy Wish, who’s walking back to his corner. He stops in his tracks and takes a DEEP inhale of the inside of the suit, seemingly in ecstasy.

Ruby and JB both watch Tommy, scowling and shaking their heads. Then Kenzi Grey comes off the top rope with a huge splash on the still-grounded Black!


Vinnie Lane: “I think he took a nip to the eye! It’s cold in here folks, those things could cut glass! Plus, Rox told me that Kenzi’s are as long as baby fingers! He might be permanently blinded!”


JB rolls around covering his eye with one hand and clutching his ribs with the other as the ref ushers Kenzi out of the ring. Ruby pounces on Black and grabs the cuff of his jeans, pulling them down hard until they come off! Black is lying in the ring in a tee shirt, HUGE boxers, and his Timbs!

Ruby: “Here you go, bud!”

Ruby drops JB’s wallet out of his butt pocket and hands it over to him.

Ruby: “A good samaritan ALWAYS returns lost property!”

JB takes the wallet and looks at it, and Ruby takes advantage with a RUBY CUTTER!!!


Vinnie Lane: “Black is OUT!”


Ruby grabs the Wu Tang tee shirt Black has on and pulls it off over his head! JB is stripped down to his undies!


Vinnie Lane: “That takes care of JB, but Kenz and Rubes still have to find a way to get Wish out of that gimp suit… without getting stripped themselves! Remember, Kenzi is already halfway in the buff!”


Black rolls out of the ring and taps Tommy on the shoulder informing him he has to go in now.

Tommy looks sad that he has to stop smelling the Rubysuit, but then JB snatches it from him and points into the ring. Tommy nods and rolls in, and is immediately met by stomps and kicks from both Kenzi and Ruby.

Kenzi is backed out of the ring by the official, but Ruby then tags her in anyway and leaves the ring herself. Kenzi adjusts her Ruby mask/tube top and heads over to Wish, who jacks her jaw with a rising Eropean uppercut! Kenzi is staggered and Tommy follows up by spinning his arms around like Muhammad Ali and then dropping Kenzi with a bionic elbow right to her fivehead! Kenz hits the mat, knocked right out of her boots!


Vinnie Lane: “Uh oh… Kenzi is barefoot now, and Tommy is having a hard time peeling his eyes away from her little piggies!”


Tommy Wish stands like a deer in headlights, licking his lip like crazy as Kenzi writhes on the mat, flexing and unflexing her soles. She curls her toes and uncurls them. Spreads them out. Points them. Tommy takes mental snapshots the entire time.


Vinnie Lane: “Don’t do it Tommy… Don’t… Don’t do it…”


But he does, everyone. He really does.

Tommy Wish advances on Kenzi Grey and grabs her bare foot. And he crams all five toes into his mouth! He’s got the whole foot in there, just about!

Kenzi shrieks and bucks like a bronco, but Tommy has a surprisingly strong mouth grip on him, and she can’t free her tootsie. Kenzi has to get creative and plant her palms on the mat, then she kips up from the mat and drives Tommy’s head into the canvas with a kip-up stomp!


Vinnie Lane: “Kenzi’s foot is STILL in Tommy’s gullet… oops, spoke too soon!”


Kenzi WALK OF FAMES the crap out of Tommy Wish, using the foot in his mouth! Tommy’s arms go limp, but he’s still fully clad in that gimp suit.

Kenzi smiles and goes to her empty boots… and pulls out a butterfly knife! She flips it around like someone right out of a 1980s gang movie.


Vinnie Lane: “Really need to have a meeting with these officials about checking the gear…”


Kenzi then slits the gimp suit down the front like she’s cleaning a fish. She peels the rubber off of Tommy’s pale torso, then slices her way through the legs as well. Soon enough, Tommy is wearing nothing but his tighty whities and one New Balance shoe! This one’s over!

Winners by Upsetting Nudity - Kenzi Grey and Ruby

Vinnie Lane: “Folks, I am never letting you all vote on a match stip again!

The crowd immediately begins to boo as out from the back steps the Anarchy Champion, Tula Keali’i.


Vinnie Lane: "This lady has a lot of explaining to do."


She has the Anarchy Title draped over one shoulder, and the Federweight Title over the other. She has a giant grin on her face as she looks into the crowd, who seems none too pleased to see her. From behind her steps Geri Vayden and Lycana, and the three raise their left hands, creating an even louder boo than before.


Vinnie Lane: "And of course, she doesn’t come alone."


Geri has Tula’s black pipe in her hands, and Lycana is carrying a briefcase. The three walk down the aisle and step into the ring. Tula points to the ring announcer with a threatening look, and the announcer immediately tosses her a mic. Tula puts the smile back on her face as she looks out into the crowd.

Tula: Good evening, Laredo!

The crowd continues to boo, but Tula just keeps smiling. She takes the Anarchy Title off her shoulder and places it in the corner of the ring.

Tula: I know, I know. Some of you are just a tad bit upset over what occurred two weeks ago, but I don’t think dwelling on it is going to change anything. Some folks did some things, but it’s just best if we move forward, and put this whole situation behind us.

Tula continues to grin as the crowd continues to boo.


Vinnie Lane: "I can’t tell if she’s the Anarchy Champion, or a member of Congress."


Tula: Speaking of moving forward, I want to talk about one of the two titles that is currently in my possession.

Tula takes the Federweight Tile off her shoulder and looks at it.

Tula: The XWF Federweight Title. A title with a…checkered linage. One that celebrates a man who made contributions to this federation, all be it many of them negative. A title that is rarely shown on television, and only exists as a prop. Honestly…this belt sucks.

Tula tosses the belt down onto the mat. Geri hands the pipe over to Tula, who begins to smash the title, all while the crowd continues to rain down boos. Vinnie stands up from the announce table in anger.


Vinnie Lane: "Hey, what the hell?! That’s XWF property! She’s not allowed to do that!"


Tula kicks the belt and some of the pieces to the side before Lycana steps forward with the briefcase.

Tula: Sid Feder is dead and gone! He was lost in the Artic Ocean and eaten by bears! He’s gone, and his stupid fucking belt can go with him! Starting today, there is a NEW era in the XWF! One that doesn’t recognize forgotten edgelords from the past, but rather one that recognizes the heritage of one of the greatest champions to ever grace the XWF. One that creates a homage to a culture that has been silenced and abandoned by so many in the West. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you….the Micronesian Championship!

Lycana opens up the briefcase, and Tula pulls out the new title belt.

The crowd keeps booing, but the reaction isn’t as strong, because, to be honest, it’s an awesome looking belt.

Tula: Instead of being one in a line of nameless, faceless people to hold the Federweight Title, allow me to declare myself the FIRST EVER XWF MICRONESIAN CHAMPION!

Tula holds the belt high and flashes a smile once again.


Vinnie Lane: "She sure seems proud of herself."


Tula: Which brings me to my next point! Two weeks ago, we saw the beginning of a brand new era in the XWF! The beginning of every show DOMINATED by the only group that matters – The Left Hand! Two weeks ago showed that no one was safe. Anarchy was claimed. And now, we deliver it to the hands of our fearless leader, the great one…BAPHOMET!

The lights go out as Tula turns toward the ramp way. Lycana and Geri look at each other with a slight bit of confusion before turning to the rampway themselves Out from the back steps the hooded, robe figure, presumed to be Baphomet.

Vinnie Lane: "Well, this is a surprise. Baphomet was supposedly arrested just a few days ago. Then again, that is the American justice system for you."

Baphomet slowly walks down the ring, looking down the entire time as fire lights the ramp on his way down. He gets to the ring, and when he does, Lycana and Geri hold the ring ropes open. He slowly climbs into the ring as the music slowly starts to cut out. Lycana and Geri look up at Baphomet, pleased to see him.

But then, the lights come back up.

And the hood comes off…

Boris: IT WAS BORIS, BLIN! IT WAS BORIS ALL ALONG BLIN!!!

With that, Tula smashes the pipe into the back of Lycana’s head! Geri barely has time to react as she gets a shot delivered to the top of her head. Both members of the Left Hand fall to the mat as Tula storms over to the corner and picks up her Anarchy Title.


Vinnie Lane: "What the heck is going on here?!"


Tula gets down on her knees and holds both the Anarchy and the Micronesian Titles in front of her.

Tula: TULA KEALI’I IS A SLAVE TO NO ONE! YOU HEAR ME?! I AM NO ONE’S PUPPET! You did what you were supposed to do. You got me my title back. And now, you’ve outlived your usefulness. Anarchy doesn’t belong to The Left Hand – it belongs to ME, and ME ALONE! And when you go and speak to your leader, let him know there are people out there much smarter than he is. And if either of you bitches have a problem with that, you know EXACTLY where to find me.

“The Only Thing They Fear Is You” plays again as Tula stands up. She pats Boris on the back and he opens the ring ropes open for her, as the two walk back up the ramp.

Vinnie Lane: "I don’t know what the hell we just witnessed, but apparently Tula has decided to make even MORE enemies!"

The scene opens up backstage where we see Barney Green walking only to get hit from behind by a figure we can't quite make out. The figure turns around it and it's Charlie Nickles. Charlie goes to speak while putting the boots to Barney.

Charlie: This is far from over.

Charlie grabs a chair and cracks it over Barney's back! He then throws it to the ground and then picks up Barney and power bombs him through a table and then we get a close up of Barney looking dazed as Charlie goes to speak.

Charlie: See you at Snow Job.

Backstage, a gassed Ruby is seen with a towel around her neck, fresh from her match with the THUGS. She approaches her locker room door, but as she does, she notices the door has been kicked open. She quickly runs into the room, and gasps.

Ruby: CENT?!

Laying in his own blood is Centurion. The rest of the locker room is trashed, with “Q” and “MAGA” spray painted all over the place. Centurion slowly starts to sit up, but Ruby rushes to him to prevent him from moving.

Ruby: Stay still. What happened?

Centurion: War Horse. Brought a whole group of friends with him.

Ruby runs out of the room and calls for help as we cut back to the ring.

The Left Hand (Tula Keali'i, Baphomet, Ash Quinn) - vs - B.O.B. (Micheal Graves, Big Money Oswald, Barney Green) Texas Tornado Match! No tags needed - first fall WINS!

We come back from backstage to the sounds of B.O.B.’s music.

With the Baddies already in the ring. In fact, Graves looks like he’s been waiting there for a good long time. They tap their feet and look at imaginary watches on their wrists (except Oswald, who has a very real, very expensive timepiece).


Vinnie Lane: “Everyone, after what happened a bit ago with Tula and Boris, I have been informed that the Left Hand will NOT be a part of the match tonight… they might not even exist at all! Ash Quinn already left the building, Baphomet’s in prison, and Tula has quit the band! Looks like we’re just gonna…”


Graves gets a mic.

Graves: “This is a bunch of CRAP! We’re the main event of ANARCHY just like we have been FOREVER! Just because the Left Hand is a bunch of LOSERS WHO SELF DESTRUCTED DOESN’T MEAN WE SHOULDN’T GET A WIN! You! Ref! I demand you call a forfeit and lift our hands up!”

John Bihl looks like he’s about a second away from giving Graves the business, but he sees that Graves does have a point. The XWF rule book does state that these circumstances call for a match forfeit… after a ten count!

Bihl takes his time. This is his moment! He drags every number out with full theatrics, holding up his fingers as high as he can.



1!







2!







3!








4!








5!







6!







7!








8!







9!








10!!!!

Winners by Forfeit - B.O.B.

Graves, Oswald, and Barney celebrate like they just won the Stanley Cup AND the World Series at the same time! Oswald pulls two bottles of champagne out from behind his back and pops them both. Barney whips out his tablet and starts cam chatting with as many t-girls as he can find online. Graves openly weeps and brings the mic back to their lips.

Graves: “You love us… you REALLY love us! This is the greatest… day… of our LI-”


Graves is clobbered from behind by Tula Keali’i, who smashes the Anarchy Championship into the back of Graves’ skull!

Boris puts Oswald on the ground with a cattle prod that looks like it was made for an elephant! Then, Tula hands him the Micronesian Championship and Boris smashes it into Barney’s face! Quarters go flying everywhere!


Vinnie Lane: “Did Boris tape a few rolls of quarters to the back of that belt? Does that work? Did it hit harder that way???”


With B.O.B. laid out, the cameras zoom in on the only ones left standing… Tula Keali’i, the Anarchy and Micronesian Champion, and Boris… the HIGHER POWER, BLIN!

Tight close up… fade to black.

SPECIAL THANKS: Marf Micheal Graves JB Tula Keali’i Charlie Nickles Big D

It's a slovakian miracle!

Oswald once in the back room, begins to throw lockers and benches around the locker room, breaking walls down in the process.

"THESE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE DEAD! TULA! BORIS! I'M GOING TO FUCKING DESTROY YOU THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU!"

His shadowy servants parting as he grabs the locker room door off its hinges and flinging it down the hallway.

"FURY!"

He snaps his fingers, teleporting her to his side

"Your sole job at Snow Job is to DESTROY Tula! I want her out of fucking commission! Let Kenzi and Ruby fight each other, you go after Tula and break her goddamn skull open!

GET OUT OF MY FUCKING FACE!"

Another snap, she is gone, not giving her time to respond, mostly for her protection since he was in a state of rage.

"BORIS! YOU FUCKING COWARD! I will destroy you on the next Anarchy! I will make sure you wished you never stepped out of that shithole called Russia! You better hope that Management decides to keep us away from one another, or else I am going to fucking render you USELESS!"

Boris not Russian.

(01-16-2021, 11:29 AM)Boris Said: Boris not Russian.

"I'm rich. I don't give a fuck! You're still dead!"

Osmand should thank Boris. I gave you extra quarters blin.

Damn, this show was fantastic.