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Chris Chaos · (12-23-2020)

CONTINUED FROM: HURT TO HELP, PART 1

My fingers shook as I brought them down on the plastic keyboard letters.

[USER1]:........First....have...have her look up at the screen. Have her look at me.

[ADMIN]: As you request.

Her head remained slumped, but I knew she wasn't dead. I saw her ample chest moving ever so slightly. She was gagged, which I initially thought was a good thing, but part of me was screaming to hear her scream. The sound of an acetylene torch filled my headphones, and the picture became a little hazy with smoke. The blue/white/orange light from the torch snaked up from the bottom right corner of the screen. She must have heard it too, though maybe in her sub conscious, because her chest began to move slightly faster.

I always loved her chest.

The admin, whoever they were, was very good at giving me my money's worth. They were slow, precise, no wasted movements. It felt like a month went by as a hand and arm, draped in black cloak and covered with black glove, brought the torch to her body. Under her armpit, just next to her chest. Her body jolted upwards, her restrained wrists biting at the metal clamps that bound them. It was that moment when her eyes met mine.

The car was a mangled wreck. The air around was biting cold, and the first snow of December was descending upon me. The condensation made it difficult enough to see, but the constant struggle inside my head was beyond distracting.

I had had a rough week, hell, a rough month, as it was. The job wasn't going well and our finances were in the tubes. We tried to make it work, but we both worked two jobs and were almost never home. Forget having kids, we didn't even have time for pets. But I loved her. I loved her with every ounce of my being. I loved her more than any person on this planet, and I would do anything it took to make her smile.

The problem was, I didn't know how to show her. I had made a mistake, I had cracked under pressure, and I had put her in a compromised position with someone from one of my online communities messaging her in person.

Creepy, stalkerish, but my own fault.

This made things even more tense. I loved her, would do anything for her, but now she felt as though she could not trust me. What is love without trust?

I never thought to go through her phone, even though she insisted on going through mine. Not because she thought I was cheating, but because she had it in her head that I was sharing her photos online and pretending to be her............

I HAVE A PROBLEM OKAY?!!!!

I digress.

She had this "friend", Justin that she would hang out with occasionally. He worked with her. He was charming, smart, dressed well and made good money. Drove a nicer car than I did.

But she loved me, right? I thought so.

We eventually drifted apart. She eventually began to spend ALL of her time with Justin. To the point where she wasn't come home most nights.

I had hit the bottle pretty hard by this point. My work production was slipping and getting out of bed everyday became a daunting task.

I remember the day she came back to the house. She had a truck with her, and a bunch of empty boxes. I didn't even get out of bed as she cleared the remainder of her belongings out of the house and left the key on the kitchen counter.

I heard the clink as she set it down, and I heard the door squeak shut, closing with subtle determination.....

Her eyes met mine, even though I knew that she couldn't "see" me, it was almost like she knew I was there. Like she knew I had something to do with the predicament she was in. There was pain in her eyes.

[ADMIN]: The girl is awake.....please tell me that is not all you wanted.

[USER 1]: What are my options?

[ADMIN]: What are your wildest desires?

The camera turned harshly, the red lit room barely illuminated a large table with a various assortment of horrific elements of pain. Her whimpers were frantic through the gag.

[ADMIN]: You tell me, and I make it happen. How this works.

My fingers shook again. Could I really do this?

I stared blankly at my computer screen as she struggled again in the chair.

[USER 1]: Grab the pliers.

The car was a mangled wreck. The air around was biting cold, and the first snow of December was descending upon me. The cold air, the darkness. Oh the darkness. I welcomed it, at this point! There was a small hum, almost a hiss. I couldn't tell if it was inside my head or outside the car, but something was hissing.

Like gas was running out of a funnel at a high rate of speed.

There was a large pillow in front of me, and off white now as its original color had mixed with red.

Blood.

My blood.

There was a tick as well.

As I began to fade I heard a faint wail. The darkness around me was blue and red and white. I thought this was it, that this was the energy we see just before we die.

I welcomed it.

There was a loud sound, like a chainsaw but eons more powerful. The mass of charred and twisted steel bent and broke around me. I couldn't see it, but I certainly heard it.

Voices, male voices were yelling. It was a mishmash of things, most of them I couldn't make out as they were drowned out in my ears under the unbelieveably loud whirring and steel crushing.

When my eyes did open, there was a white Porsche parked not too far away. There were two figures standing there. I couldn't tell who they were at first, but I knew the car. It was her and Justin.

"Tessa" I tried to say, but my throat could not muster anything more than a gurlge. An officer was yelling at them to stay back.

I could barely make it out--or anything out--but she seemed a tad heavier in the middle. It was dark but she almost glowed. Not just because of her beauty but because of the white hoodie she wore. The white hoodie 2 sizes too big for her.

His hoodie.

Then, there was darkness. Silence.

I awoke in a bed, with blinding lights that tore a hole through my retina's. There was more beeping, but more subtle and much more quiet. I couldn't feel most of my body, but I could tell that there were lines and wires in my everywhere. There was a tube in my mouth, and a tape covering over my nose to keep it in place. I tried to move, but couldn't. The walls were a bright white, and there was a curtain on my left side. It looked like a discount shower curtain, I thought to myself. Something like you get at the Dollar Tree. Even though I couldn't laugh, I laughed internally. I don't know why, as that normally would not be funny to me.

Must be the drugs.

The hospital. I was in the hospital.

There were muffled voices outside of my door. "You may see him now". A soft voice, soft but assuring. "Take as much time as you need."

I closed my eyes, but opened them JUST a tad in order to still be able to see, but to anyone viewing me they would look closed.

The nurse led two people in. It was and my worst fears were confirmed.

THEM.

I felt the bile rise in my throat as they got closer to my bed. Justin had on a shirt and tie, obviously just out of work. Tessa was wearing a sweater, with jeans. There was something different about her, though. Something that I didn't see before, something she told me wasn't possible..........

There was an orb like distention in her midsection, stretching the sweater material. Her hands were on her lower back.

She tried to say my name, but all I could think about was........

NO!

She couldn't be!

She told me she couldn't get!

And she...

With HIM!

I heard a loud sharp wail from a machine next to me, then it all went silent.

The nurse rushed them out of the room as I can only assume I flatlined.

I snapped back to reality.

[ADMIN]: I have to admit, you're one of the more boring customer's we have had. Hey, I'm still getting paid.

This time there was no hesitation. I saw the pliers in his hand. My fingers slammed the keyboard this time.

[USER 1]: Open her legs.

[ADMIN]: Now we're talking!

She squealed and shook her head as the man forced her legs apart.

TO BE CONTINUED

"Oh, the defensive game, I see. So typical, Thad. So typical to stay in that fighting stance, hands up, back aligned, feet positioned perfectly. You have the form down pat, kid. Why? Because you've been playing defense for years. Now you have a nice shiny belt to finally back up that smack talk, but it doesn't hide the fact that you're a scared little boy, out of options, and ready to fight to simply survive. There is a bigger, badder, faster, stronger, smarter foe this time, however, than has ever stood across from you before. Your petty words, they are seen now as simply that, words. I have exposed you now and those around the XWF community are beginning to think.

Is Thaddeus really THAT good?

Simple answer, two letters.

No.

No, he's not.

Thaddeus Duke is the product of a situation I created, reaping what the previous champion has sown. She couldn't get out of her own way, but Thaddeus....hell, this boy goes out of his way to get IN his own way. He'll be the first to admit that a lot of his career shortcomings have been his own doing. He hasn't been blatantly screwed, he hasn't been harassed both inside and outside of the company that lied and covered it up, he hasn't had an entire management staff do everything in their power to KEEP him from achieving the glory he deserves and he has earned......no, Thaddeus Duke's shortcomings until this point have been because he's....well.....not as good as he tells us all he is.

If anything, Thaddeus has had every opportunity in the world to get to where he is at today because he was left alone. He was never on anyone's radar because he never was anything more than average. He has never gotten the attention he sought from the people who give the shots around here because he just couldn't get over that hump. His own hump. All this time he spent finding himself, changing his techniques and his image, trying to find the one that worked best for him. Problem was, none of them did. Thaddeus could never nail down what was wrong with him, because he never quite knew. He was throwing shit at the wall, hoping it would stick.

Well now, it's finally stuck. He's finally on that radar, he has finally projected himself into the spotlight. He has finally become someone around here that people notice. For now. He has finally found the one thing that has made him whole, that has made him worth the paychecks that Vinnie signs.

His hatred for me.

It was his driving force. Still is, probably always will be. I said before and I'll say it again. If I wasn't the one on the other end of the rope, Thaddeus Duke would have never pulled on it. He never thought he was Universal Championship material. He never thought he would be listed among some of the biggest names to ever do this. He was content being the good guy, being the hero, being average. What he DID think he could do, however, was beat me.

Cocky little bastard now, isn't he?

Well, there is a fine line between cockiness and confidence, young buck.

A line that I skate so effortlessly. I exploded onto the scene, I kicked the door down and broke into the house, took everything they had and left before they even realized what happened. Thaddeus is the type to ring the doorbell and politely ask if he can come in first before he fucks them over. His impression of me is less than flattering, but it doesn't bother me in the least because it is the same impression everyone else has.

He thinks that his daddy quotes and incessant trolling of me, making me the punchline of nearly every sentence that comes out of his mouth, and telling the world how I have fallen on my ass more times than a fat lady who sat down too fast are all new, fresh, exciting, and not at all… “borrowed.”

Yes, I used finger quotes.

Newsflash Thad, they've all hated me long before they ever loved you.

I am public enemy number one. I crush the eggshells beneath my feet when I walk. I always feel like someone is plotting, conspiring, having secret meetings to talk about how they want to fuck me in the ass with no lube. Mostly management. You see, I am not the type that plays well with others. I'm not a bad dude, but rather...misunderstood. You've never been successful here because you've never pushed boundaries, never crossed the line, never taken it too far. You've never had an entire company turn against you, with the general consensus being that you're a total and absolute prick.

It's their hatred that has driven me.

Thaddeus I know who I am, I know what I can do, but I also know that I can snap at any moment. I can lose my marbles. I am not right in the head. I also know I can focus, buckle down, and zoom in on a task with laser like precision and devastating realism. All the times I "shit the bed" against you? What did I truly have to gain? You didn't have anything I wanted. I threw together promo's lazily, I stepped into the ring while focused on literally anything else, and I took a loss in order to build you up for THIS very moment.......

Where I crush your hopes and dreams to dust.

I'll admit, I should have done it sooner. I should have been more focused on killing off the cancer rather than helping it spread. I should have cared just a tad bit more. But if I had....you'd still be right where you left off.....

A fucking nobody.

I have the title now, Chris.

Why don't you go ahead and tell us again, in case we've all forgotten?

It wasn’t a fluke win.

It kinda was though. I am pretty sure everyone everywhere thinks that it was.

It wasn’t some cowardly cash in.

No, it was a cowardly sham. It was you accepting help from Doc when it benefitted you, but restarting the match against me when it didn't. You wanted help to win the one thing you thought would hit me the hardest, but didn't want help when you wanted to show the world that you actually could beat a top contender. Funny how that works, isn't it?

It was won definitively, the hard way.

It was a battle royal, dude. It is like the easiest type of match to win. Get off your high horse and begin to get in check with reality. Barney Green had the same chance in that match that you did....he just didn't have the allies.

It’s undisputed.

It's questionable.

Just like your accolade of sweeping High Stakes is questionable when you actually watch it. While I have it in my mind, I need to ask. Why didn't you throw a hissy fit when Doc grabbed your leg? Why didn't you demand they restart the match, get all up in your moral feels and tell the ref you cheated? Why didn't you chastize your partner for giving the biggest face in this company the most heelish type of win in the biggest match this year?

No, don't answer that. I will.

It's because you're a fraud. You're all high and mighty when there is nothing to lose but suddenly you forget who you are when it benefits you to do so.

I take stock of myself and identify ways in which I can improve my game.

THAT. THAT right there was all you needed to say. THAT is the honesty we've all been looking for from you. IMPROVE your game. You knew it was the fourth quarter, you knew the time was running out, you knew that this was do or die, was now or never. You knew you couldn't do it on your own.

That right there was the realization that you're a total and complete failure at this whole "good guy" moniker. Good guys finish last, isn't that what they always say?

I've never changed? You're damn right. I've never changed because I've never had to.

You know how many shots I had at it, Chris?

Get ready, everyone, to laugh.

Two.

Two shots, and you've been here the same amount of time, if not longer than I have. Your age has nothing to do with it. Your skill level does. Nobody is going to deny that you have great work ethic, you have a great mic presence and your Lion Heart gimmick sells tee shirts, but lets not begin splitting hairs after we've worked so hard to put them back together. Nobody is saying I have been the most successful in my attempts to re-capture the gold, but god damnit Thad stop it with the excuses.

The first time, I was greener than goose shit.

SO WAS I. I had been in this company for FOUR MONTHS. I was as green as Kentucky crab grass, but I had that edge. I had that spunk, that pizzazz, I had "it". Ask Doc, he was there.

I'm sure he'd love to tell you all the stories of Chaos past. He'd love to, but he won't. He won't because he's afraid to relive the moment. He is afraid to look inside himself and know that a kid with virtually no experience in matches outside of the house shows had gotten one over on him. He won't because he refuses to look into the past and realize that the entire roster, the entire company, the entire world, was put on notice because he had become vulnerable. That is why he chose you, Thad. That is why he wants to partake in this adventure with you. He sees me from four years ago in you. He sees hope that he can rectify his failure against a virtual nobody by helping along the career of a perpetual nobody. He sees the opportunity for one last hoorah that he can never have, and has to choke down the traumatic memories of the coffin I shoved him into.

Both literally, and figuratively.

He tries to pacify himself by being the mentor, when in reality Thaddeus Duke doesn't need a mentor....

...he needs a bullet to the frontal lobe.

Something I should have done long ago but I strung you along and played with your emotions. I built your ego, it's only right that now, on your grandest stage, that I burn it to the ground.

The mountain I climbed was one I built. Was it smooth? No. It's rocky and jagged. I'll admit I haven't always been the most motivated and I could point to the shots against Main, Bourbon, Caedus and the likes as me not trying, or me not wanting it bad enough, or me upset that they were butt-buddies with the very people that run this place.....

But those would be excuses. I don't have excuses. I have facts, I have truth. I haven't gotten the job done, and that was my own doing, but there is no use looking to the past. It's over, its gone. It's dead and maggot filled. Everyday is a new day, a new shot, a new opportunity. I have been filled with excuses in the past, and I was stuck living in it. You're stuck in the matrix of the past now. You are so consumed with how many times you've beaten me, my past performances both against you and not, and what Chris Chaos WAS that you have never stopped to think about what Chris Chaos IS. Any day, at any time, anyone could beat anyone. Everyday is a new day, and you're need to let the past dictate the future may very well cost you the only thing noteworthy you've ever done with your life.

Why do you think I brought out that hourglass Thad? Really think now, I know that's hard for you. But really rack that brain of yours.

You're a smart kid, Thad. You should know this!

Give up?

Okay.

To symbolize your absolute obsession with the past and your blind disregard for the future.

To be entirely fair, I thought he’d march his lazy ass to the ring and spear me because… you know… Chris Chaos. I was entirely prepared to let him have that moment and allow him to spear me......it is the season for giving and I love nothing more than to lure self important jackasses into some false sense of accomplishment.

How generous of you.

But he didn’t do it.

Instead, he walks out onto the stage in Arizona and flips an hourglass.

I did. Such cognitive retention skills you have!

A fucking hourglass.

Yes, and the gesture that will forever be known as the last moment anyone saw Thaddeus Duke hold the title at a Pay Per View. I told you in my "cold open" that I am smarter than you give me credit for. That I am ahead of the game that I have been playing my own game for longer than you may realize. OLD Chris, PAST Chris, sure, I woulda broke you in half in that ring. I would have speared your ribs directly out of your asshole. Instead......hourglass.

Lazy?

No, no. What's that word you used?

Cerebral.

Your opinion of my intelligence is disappointing, however. Do you really think I'd play YOUR game, when I wasn't even done playing mine? Why give you want you want? You call it lazy? I call it sticking it up your ass. Do you seriously think I’m dumb enough to hit the ring with Doc and ya boy Corey ringside? Get the fuck outta here. 3 on 1 is not part of the plan. Thaddeus Duke may be phony tough and crazy brave, but that's Exhibit A on why his first Universal Title has come after 4 plus years of literally jello.

*GASPS*

Maybe THAT'S why Doc has taken such a liking to you. We all know how much he loves his jello.

Long story short, Thad, its a whole new ballgame. I've allowed you to exist for far too long. You can call my career a giant moss covered septic tank all you want--whatever helps you sleep at night--but the truth is that I have ALWAYS been a bigger name than you. Beating me put YOU on the map, just like beating Doc put ME there. I have always and will continue to be the bigger name. This episode of the company's flagship broadcast is called Christmas CHAOS. They did that for a reason, Dukey. It is smack-in-the-face-clear that even as the challenger, I still get a bigger push than you.

So go ahead, overlook me all you want. Live in the past, bask in the glory of the wins that made you famous, while I stalk you from the shadows, waiting for my moment to pounce and rip your fucking heart out.

Even Lion's aren't invincible.

Your obsessive need to put yourself over is going to be your greatest failure to date. Your blatant disrespect and disregard for me as an opponent, a competitor, and as a legend.......It shits on the integrity of XWF history books, it shits on my legacy as one of the best to ever do this, it shits on me personally. Never shit on me personally.....that seems to be more of a you people kinda thing.

No dont reply, we're done here."

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