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Paul Heyman · (09-22-2020)

What has always been, continues to be. That has been the rallying cry for Relentless. It is beyond question, that the XWF does pay per view unlike anyone else. While I will not sit here and drop cheap shots that other companies will in all likelihood neither hear nor see, I will say that if any other company wants to know how pay per view is done in the wrestling business, they should look no further than the Xtreme Wrestling Federation for tips and advice.

That goes for any pay per view, not just Relentless. Pay per view in the XWF is without a doubt, the grandest event on the grandest stage, no matter the title of the show.

Yesterday, I discussed night one of the extravaganza so tonight, clearly it’s time for night two.

NIGHT TWO, MATCH ONE: In the mind blowing opener of night two we have Boris going one on one with Bobbi London.

Big.

Fucking.

Yawn.

Give me 16 shots of Boris because I’m a big fan of the Slovakian Slayer.

PREDICTION: Break open the Vodka! Boris wins!

NIGHT TWO, MATCH TWO: The shooting star championship (what the fuck does that even mean?) is up for grabs in a ladder match pitting the reigning, defending Shooting Star Champion Jenny Myst against newcomer Ash Quinn and Scarlett Donaldson.

First things first: Scarlett Donaldson is an untalented hack riding on the coattails of someone marginally better: Mastermind. More on him later...obviously.

Secondly: Ash Quinn. We don’t know a whole lot about her yet but I can already tell she’s working hard to improve her craft. That goes a long way in my book in earning respect from your peers.

Thrice as nice: Jenny Myst is the champion and she has been doing some top notch work in that ring of late, even defeating Madison Dyson to win the title in the first place. That’s not an easy task, yet she was game for it from the word go.

PREDICTION: Jenny Myst continues to impress and successfully retains her championship

NIGHT TWO, MATCH THREE: Where in hell do I possibly begin? My client, your hero, The Lionheart himself Thaddeus Duke goes one on one against Mastermind inside the House of Horrors.

My creation.

My innovation.

This will be brutal. This will be bloody. This… will be epic.

In my conversations with him this week about this match, it was him telling me what he was planning to do to Mastermind. I kept my mouth shut and listened with a giant smile on my face because my teachings are getting through. I created the sound of madness, wrote the book on pain… and at Relentless, my client unleashes both on Mastermind inside the House of Horrors.

PREDICTION: Thaddeus. Fucking. Duke. Period.

NIGHT TWO, MATCH FOUR: In a match pitting the chronically underwhelming against the entertaining yet still underwhelming for a shot at the mostly non-existent Hart championship. Peter Gilmour is right about one thing: aligning with me would drive the ratings through the roof… entirely because of me. He’ll face Broken Septic Tank for a chance to face the Hart champion and oh boy! This match will put the asses in the seats!

Catch that sarcasm?

No one cares about this match. No one at all. The competitors in this match are quietly thinking to themselves: damn, how far has the Hart title fallen?

PREDICTION: Peter Gilmour will pull this one out like his father should’ve done 40 something years ago

NIGHT TWO, MATCH FIVE: The Hart Championship is on the line in a glass cage match and hopefully these two just accidentally kill each other on purpose. I said what I said. Idenhaus lost the Hart title to a far inferior opponent at Leap of Faith and he’s not even been seen since. Pasha took OUR Hart title, the XWF Hart title to some shitty ass warmed up leftover of a company and I checked it out… Idenhaus didn’t show his face there either.

So how does a man that embarrasses himself and the company he works for, disgraces himself and the company he works for, loses a title with so much history and lineage to an overgrown ape like Pasha, not even show up in the intervening two months, neither here nor there, and still get placed in a match to get it back?

PREDICTION: Who gives a fuck?

NIGHT TWO, MATCH SIX: In the main event of night two, Catatonic, the tag team champions defend against Centurion and Ruby. These match has been built up OH SO WELL… except it hasn’t so it makes me wonder just how this match was made, much less WHY it’s the main event. It has the potential to be damn good and I’ll never deny that, but there was nothing more than an unentertaining segment on Savage that gave us even the slightest indication that this match was even happening.

House of Horrors should be in this spot. Not because its my creation, but because Thaddeus Duke will do Thaddeus Duke things and steal the show.

My own bitterness aside...

PREDICTION: Catatonic retains and sends the fans home sleepy. Why? Because they can.

Night two is in the books, marks. The post for night three should be a real banger. It’s a stacked card on night three. Literally and figuratively. Once more, don’t comment below. I have no interest in associating with any of you.

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