-Hunter Payne and Joy just posted Podcast # 8 in regards to the Battle Royal-


Payne: Welcome everybody To the Payne and Joy Podcast!


Joy: Podcast number 8.


Payne: and I am stoked for this Battle Royal, Hey Joy this is your favorite kind of Podcast, the kind where we rip asshole opponents a new one... except this time! There's a Battle Royal full of these assholes!


Joy: This should be lots of fun. Let's start with... Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson...


Payne: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson... Ok, let me start by saying I loved your work in the WWE. But why all of a sudden is your vocabulary as bad as a middle school drop-out? And what is with your obsession with the male genitalia?


Joy: Don't use such big words Hunter, middle school drop out remember?


Payne: Oh yeah, I'll use smaller words, just for you Dwayne... Why you like dick so much Rocky?? It's really gay to talk about dick as much as you do. Not that there's anything wrong with that! I have no problem with gays, except Matt Lennox and his boyfriend. And I heard you call me, what was it? "A fluffy anal bead." Oh and a "Muppet." That's it? Wow, you've really let yourself go after losing to John Cena. You might wanna use that little brain of yours and think a little bit harder when it comes to insulting Hunter Payne. And I love how everybody talks about 'The Toothfairy' as the worst thing you've done. No, my niece loved that movie. No no no, The worst thing you've done by far, are your XWF promos! Who is next Joy?


Joy: Chris Legend and his brother I guess.


Payne: Ugh Great, these assholes. Chris Legend my first night here I issued a challenge to the biggest baddest guy in the XWF. But then you answered my challenge for some reason. But you didn't accept the challenge, you just simply stated to me, " Your bank account isnt long enough to step in that ring with the likes Me! Hope you find someone as aweful as yourself.." Now, I let little things like that be my fuel for success. But, what does your bank account have to do with a wrestling match asshole? and if I am awful, at least I didn't create my own belt because I couldn't win one, like you. But I find it hilarious that it was never an official championship belt in the XWF, and yet you still lost it in a match! Hahahaha that's really pathetic. But I'd like to say now that we are going to be in the same ring for the first time, I'm going to kick your ass. This entire time you've been scared of Dwayne, in your little cute 'Entertainment Tonight' promos. You shouldn't be scared of this illiterate dumb-fuck. First of all, you should be scared of the Somalians, because they don't like rich pieces of shit like you and your brother. They will probably rob and murder both of you before you make it to the show. But after them, and there are a lot of them, then you should worry about Hunter Payne. Much like the entire roster, I don't like you. And it's not like 'oh he's a jerk, that I don't like' kind of way. I mean like you could literately fucking disappear, say in Somalia somewhere, me and the entire XWF would not give a shit.


Joy: Yeah, I don't think I've met one person here that likes Chris Legend. Or one person that has heard of his brother.


Payne: He likes to brag about having money. The Legends are the prime example that money can buy anything!..... Except talent.


Joy: Ok, next is Mystica. Some cult-leader catholic priest that like mist.


Payne: Catholic priest. Hey Dwayne Johnson you act like a child, we should introduce those two freaks. I don't really know much about this guy. So I'll just warn him. Mystica you should Mystically disappear from this Battle Royal, or be prepared for a world of Payne! Anyone else?


Joy: Shady Robertson.


Payne: Shady Robertson, let me first say I appreciate the shoutout. And I know what it's like to be new here. It sucks. Now as far as your offer, many don't expect me to extend my hand out to new talent, since nobody exactly did that for me. Well... surprise... I have no problem with an alliance as far as this Battle Royal is concerned, the only problem is, and Joy will attest to this, I have MAJOR trust issues.


Joy: Yep, he does.


Payne: Especially for anybody here in the XWF. I will agree to this alliance on one condition. If you say something stupid I will laugh, and make fun of you for said stupid comment. If you need a reference for saying stupid things, watch a Matt Lennox promo, it's usually full of them.


Joy: Speaking of Matt Lexxox...


Payne: Lennox said some harsh things with his Tarzan monkey earlier.


Joy: Yep, first Lennox called the XWF "a freakshow". And to that I say; you started it by bringing in your freak-ape-Tarzan looking thing.


Payne: What else did he say Joy?


Joy: And I quote, " what do you know our old friend Hunter Payne and his little slut will be there tonight. Hey Hunter last week I seem to recall you getting driven into the ground by Mr. Radio. Hell I seem to remember me even getting a couple shots on you in that match. I guess the more hits he took the dumber he got which made him want to enter this match. Listen Hunter this place is for the big boys, I know you like to flaunt off your little podcast and insult everyone and I know you like to brag about your little girlfriend but how about you put your words in the ring."


Payne: Ok first off, What fucking match were you watching?! I've been dominate in both matches I've competed in. The only reason Radio got the win, is because my own partner John 'The Rapist' Black felt the need to tag himself in when I was about to finish Radio off. And he got bitch slapped for it, We covered this in Podcast #6, Some fan of the Podcast you are Lennox. Haha. And you broke up one pin cover I had, If that's what you mean by "A couple shots", Oh and did he call you a slut?


Joy: Yes that little foreign bitch did.


Payne: How does being with one guy make you a slut? Go ahead and let him have it.


Joy: Alright, I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you Matthew and your 'life-partner' Jacob are losers. Both in and out of the ring. The fact that you walk around with your boyfriend and your barbed wire bat insisting that your tough. You have a serious Napoleonic complex, where you need to prove to everybody your not a small loser. But you and Jacob need to stop hiding what you are; because there is nothing wrong with being a gay Canadian tag team. In fact I would respect you more if you were just honest with us all. It doesn't matter how many podcast we do, you keep insisting to us, that you and Tarzan aren't gay. Why is it such a big deal to you? Go Canadian Gay Pride! On side note, you seem to take that barbed-wire bat everywhere with you? Does Jacob get mad when you take it to the bedroom as well? Or does he like it? That is very kinky of you Tarzan. And by the way, I am not a slut. A mean girl? Yes... vindictive? Very... Sexy? You know it... But I am NOT a slut, little man.


Payne: Big boys? As Joy just mentioned, your a small Canadian, So take your own advice, and leave it to the big boys. And I ALWAYS "put my words in the ring, Aye" as you said. But I can't wait to see your Tarzan return home to Somalia! You did import him from Somalia right? No matter, you will lose in Somalia just like you lose in every other place you compete in. Now I'm sure you'll answer this podcast with another stupid response..... I say, please do. As it turns out the viewers love Hunter Payne and Joy Giovanni making fun of Matt Lennox and his ape boyfriend. Hey who would have thought that the person you need to make you actually relevant isn't Tarzan, but Hunter Payne. That's funny. Anybody else in this Battle Royal Joy?


Joy: That's it for now.


Payne: That is not a lot of people for a Battle Royal. I can think of two theories as to why there aren't that many competitors.. Now, it could be that nobody wants to go and get robbed and murdered by Somalian pirates, like the Legend brothers most certainly will. OR! And this is the more likely one, they knew Hunter Payne was going to be in the match and said "Fuck it, he's probably going to win anyway, why go?" Then you have the other guys mentioned earlier that didn't get the memo. Sorry, but here is what is going to happen on Shove it Somalia Edition, Hunter Payne will kick off the show by beating Swift Ion, then other non-important shit will happen, then Hunter Payne will come back out to compete in a Battle Royal, which he will win. Which will send the Somalian's home happy. So they won't want to kill us all after the show. Oh, by the way Joy, unlike Matt Lennox, I actually care about the person I'm in a relationship with. So I don't want you to go to Somalia with me. It's dangerous.


Joy: Nooo, it's fine. I want to go.


Payne: No, it's not fine. Your staying here. I think that's all the time we have for this podcast...


Joy: Uhh... this conversation isn't over...


Payne: No, but this Podcast is. I am Hunter Payne, and she is a very pissed off Joy Giovanni saying....


Joy: Nope, I'm not saying it...


Payne: Ugh fine! Payne and Joy out.


-Podcast ends-