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Jim "the Jim" Jimson · (09-11-2020)

Jim Jimson: Hey Jim

Jim Jimson: Yea Jim

Jim Jimson: You see our match?

Jim Jimson: Yep, facing Greggo for the ownership of the 4th heir to the dolphin throne, this specific dolphin was accused of being human sympathiser after he claimed, selling the dolphins with disabilities to the tuna companies as apart of the Dolphin-Tuna agreement of 1999, was unjust, so it's no wonder why the dolphin overlords, controlling XWF added this stipulation, they are making an example out of one of the dolphin heirs, if I win I will murder the dolphin as a sacrifice to the great pinecone blood gods and if Greggo win he'll-

Jim Jimson: Rape the dolphin.

Jim Jimson: Wha? No way he'd rape the dolphin, what kind of person would stoop low enough to even think of have sexual acts with a doplhin?

Jim Jimson: You can ask the stoopenator to answer that question.

Jim Jimson: What?

Jim Jimson: It's over there.

[Image: 4Sclpie.jpg]

Jim Jimson: Convenient the only thing we have available to us in the 9th dimension is a stoopenator, don't cha think?

Cha: How dare yous make the assucation that me can'ts think!

Jim Jimson: Shut the fuck up you, disabled, national socialist, communist, overweight, autistic, caveman bitch! you've had such an attitude ever since DJ Casper made that song about you, like we get it he said your name 50 thousand times and said you're really smooth, but how old is that song now? 20 human years ago, it's time to realise that your minuscule amount of fame has dried up, you had little to no fame to begin with! So shut the fuck up you little bitch, you, you think you're you the shit because you beat DJ Casper in a bet and he had to make a catchy song about you, fuck you Cha. Fuck. You. Nobody know's who you are and nobody will figure out who you are, you are a literal nobody Cha. You will never mean anything or be something or someone, just a hollow husk of a being, go get fucked by Jared from Subway. Maybe that will get you famous you little fuckboi, you, you fucking... little femboi bitch, you little, little fucking "the crooks" reject lookin' ass, you little Peter Gilmour supporter, you little federweight loving bitch! I honestly hope you die for supporting the inferior 24/7 title! I hope you fucking die.

Cha is on the verge of tears

Cha: *sniffles* Yous are mean!

Cha walks to the corner or the ninth dimension and cries out of pure shame.

Jim Jimson: You sit there. You single syllable named fuckhead…….

wait, what were I and I doing again?

Jim Jimson: Oh shit, yea. Stoopenator. How do this even work.

At that moment, as if on que, a handbook popped out of the top of the stoopenator with a satisfying "plop" noise.

Jim picks up the handbook begins to read it.

This is the instruction handbook for the stoopenator 3000, model 3.621.91. If you have any complaints please direct them to nobody, we don't give a fuck about you or anyone who buys our product, we already got you money, sucker.

Step 1. Do something I guess, these instructions are too vague

Step 2. It's just a photo of something labelled at "6" going into the "41"

Step 3. Find the circumference of the photosynthesis to create an improper equilibrium so you can-

Jim lights the handbook on fire.

Jim Jimson: HEY! Why did you do that! I was reading it

Jim Jimson: It was boring.

Jim Jimson: Well, how do we start it

Jim Jimson: I don't know, did you check the instruction manual?

Jim Jimson: You burn't it tho.

Cha: Me knows how to-

Jim Jimson: SHUT THE FUCK UP CHA!

Jim Jimson: YEAH! NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR HELP FUCKTARD BITCH!

Jim Jimson: Ok, so how do we use this

A keyboard pops out, above the keyboard words appear “type an action to find the level of stoopness needed to to accomplish the action”

Jim Jimson: Oookay then, time to find out the truth!

Jim types in the words “Rape a dolphin”

The stoopenator beeps back with “sorry, the words used are not in the stoopenators word bank”

Jim types in the words “Sexually assault a dolphin”

The stoopenator beeps back again with “sorry, the words used are not in the stoopenators word bank”

Jim Jimson: Oh, for FUCK SAKE! Does this thing have like 6 words in its system!

Jim Jimson: Urrh, let me do this! You just gotta be more fancy pancy with the words and shit

Jim pushes Jim away from the keyboard and tries to type

Jim types in the words “Violate a creature of the Delphinidae group”

The stoopenator beeps back with “sorry, the words used are not in the stoopenators word bank”

Jim Jimson: These text-based devices are impossible to get working!

Cha: Me knows how tos-

Jim Jimson: HOW MANY TIMES DO I AND MYSELF HAVE TO TELL YOU! NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR HELP, CHA!

Jim looks at Jim with a tired look

Jim Jimson: You know what? Try it, if you make this work, then we will let you be our friends

Cha: Yous be trutherest?

Jim Jimson: Sure....

Cha jumps up from his dark corner with joy and happily types into the Stoopenator

Cha types in the words “Doing no no thingos to a water dolph ziggler”

The stoopenator beeps back with The only person that can stoop low enough to do such a thing as "no no thingos to a water dolph ziggler" is a person with a extremely wet scrotum.

Jim Jimson: Who the fuck has a wet scrotum.

Jim Jimson: I don't know?

Cha: Now yous me friendo : )

Jim Jimson: Ummmm…… I will give you something better than friendship…. I will give you, this….. Pinecone.

Cha: Wha, but yous collecto pin~e-cone~es, what specialty about these six minus five?

Jim Jimson: Well actually this pinecone is special…. It’s…. The pinecone I shoved up Big D's phat ass, it's so old, now it has dried up shit on it.

Cha: Yous giver uppo that prized possession?

Jim Jimson: Oh yeah, the poop pinecone is deeply treasured by me….. Yep.

Cha: Thanks yous!

Cha grabs the poop pinecone and flies away, breaking the barrier between the ninth dimension and our dimension sending our unlikely losers, Jim and Jim, back into the 3rd dimension, more specifically, Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

Jim Jimson: Huh. I guess we made it to the show.

Jim Jimson: Like we actually got here, like for real. Feels..... wrong.

Jim Jimson: Yep, it feels wrong....

Jim Jimson: Hey Jim.

Jim Jimson: Yea Jim.

Jim Jimson: You wanna say anything about Greggo?

Jim Jimson: Eh.… Nah

Jim Jimson: You wanna say something funny?

Jim Jimson: Eh…. Nah

Jim Jimson: You wanna go to burger king?

Jim Jimson: Eh.... Let's go Hungry Jacks.

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