“So I am not sure where to even begin.” Dylan sits back in his leather chair and stares out of his window, “I sign my name to a company because I thought it would be the best place for me to live out a dream I’ve had since a little child and they do this to me. They match me with Bilbo and expect me to take it seriously, the guy is a self-proclaimed rapist and I’m supposed to just act like that’s fine and not take issue with it?” He shakes his head and then reaches for the bottle of whiskey on his desk, “I get it, I’m the new guy, I have a name outside of the company and maybe they want to make sure I keep my ego in check when I walk inside their halls but surely putting me in the ring with a man who is physically handicapped is a bit of a slap in the face!”

The woman in the room with him stands up and walks over to him, from behind she places her hand around his chest and rests her chin on his shoulder, “I guess they want you to see how motivated you can be against someone who shouldn’t be too hard beat?”

Dylan turns his head towards her, “Maybe you’re right, it might be a test to see the type of professionalism I maintain. Bilbo though? I don’t want to be associated with a guy like that, he’s vulgar. Yeah, I get it, his past has been awful, I can’t imagine what it was like for him growing up but every person knows right from wrong and a bad past is no excuse for shitty behaviour in the present! It’s annoying that my inception into wrestling is going to be immortalised with Bilbo.”

Dylan then pours out the whiskey into a small glass and the woman walks over to a small freezer that is hidden amongst some book in a bookshelf on the far left wall and pulls out two metal balls and then she places them in the drink, “Just think this as a test of character rather than a test of skill. Unless he has a team of men waiting to attack you there is no chance you are losing here, this is just a way for the company to find out what kind of man you are.” Her words reach Dylan who nods as he takes a sip of his whiskey. “I guess you’re right, Ella. You’ve been making a habit of that lately too.” Dylan pulls her in close and she ends up falling on to his lap, “So, I guess I better start this paperwork, unless you can think of something better to do?” ….

The scene opens up at a gym, Dylan is in the centre of the ring and his coach stands opposite with pad on.

“ONE, TWO!” the coach shouts and Dylan quickly responds with a quick but fairly powerful jab, cross that thuds into the pads. “FOUR!” and just like with the one, two, Dylan lands four crisp punches into the pad and the round comes to an end. He has just started to build up a decent amount of sweat on his brow, his top is changing colour and you can see his coach mulling over all the different ways of breaking his student. The next round is about to begin and they both get into their positions. The rounds are three minutes long and are just like your typical boxing session, they both glide around the ring with Dylan firing away punches on command and the coach swinging wild shots trying to catch his fighter off guard with his lazy defence but Dylan remains switched on.

Since opening his company, Dylan has been as focused as ever in everything he does, it is like the company has given him a new meaning in life and it has bled over to every other thing he does. It is almost as if the company has rolled back the years and he is 25 again. Dylan manages 8 more rounds on the pads and both the coach and he are sweating profusely, Dylan drops to a knee and smiles but his coach tells him to get back to his feet and do 15 laps of the carpark. With a playful groan, Dylan gets up and sets of on his 15 laps.

While Dylan is outside, the coach clears the ring and starts to set up a wrestling style venue in the gym, he puts some barricades near the ring, sets up a table just in front of the barricade. He then asks one of the cleaners, “Go tell him we are ready for him.” Dylan enters back into the room and the sweat is falling off him, his face is red and his t-shirt is missing. As he notices the layout he smiles and walks up to the ring, “Trying to give me the experience so I’m used to it, huh?” Laughs Dylan

“Something like that, yeah. Now get in the ring, we got you some sparring.” Dylan’s coach says as he watches Dylan’s eyes widen. “We thought you might want to know what it feels like going in against someone much shorter than you.”

As the words are spoken a man with dwarfism walks into the gym, he carries a black back and is in wrestling gear that is a size too small for him and it barely covers his valuables. Dylan holds back a smile but his coach is grinning ear to ear. The man walks over to the ring and stops at the apron, he then turns towards the coach and motions with his head that he needs help getting into the ring, this breaks Dylan who now lets out a chuckle as he watches his coach boost the man into the ring.

“Dylan, this is La Bestia. He’s been in the wrestling business for 14 years now and he’ll be able to get you accustomed to what you are about to face.” His coach says.

Dylan just smiles and heads into the ring and stands in the opposite corner to his La Bestia. The small gentleman takes off his bag and places it in the corner of the ring and then returns to face Dylan. The coach bangs on the ring and tells the pair to start sparring. They circle each other and ever time La Bestia rushes in Dylan places his hand on his forehead and prevents him from ever getting close, this happens around 5 times and then finally Dylan lands a kick, which is more a push than anything, that sends his opponent rolling across the ring.

“C’mon coach. Is this really necessary? I think I’m prepared enough to go in there and win, this is just a waste of time, surely?” Dylan complains.

His distractions though have led to an interesting development! While he had his attention away from La Bestia, the little guy has pulled out a 10-inch dildo from his bag. Dylan notices him approaching him, La Bestia has a sadistic grin on his face and he charges Dylan with the dildo. On instinct, Dylan, jumps out the ring and begins to laugh, “What on earth are you planning to do with that thing?” he says.

“Shove it up your ass!” replies La Bestia.

“Get back in the ring Dylan!” the coach says.

“You’re having an absolute laugh, aren’t you? You think I’m getting back into the ring when he’s trying to shove that up my….”,

“You have 2 seconds Dylan!” The coach cuts him off. “Two, one….Count out! You lost the match, La Bestia is the winner!”

“Wait, what?” Dylan looks confused.

“La Bestia won, you exited the ring and failed to make the 10-second count…YOU LOSE!” his coach yells.

“Now, hold on a second…” Interjects Dylan.

“Nope hit the shower and I’ll see you here tomorrow. Final word!” his coach walks away on the final word.

Dylan stares into the ring and then back at his coach who has now disappeared out of view and then back at La Bestia. La Bestia walks back to his bag and puts the dildo back, then he puts the bag on and motions to Dylan that he needs help getting out of the ring. Shaking his head and laughing Dylan walks over and helps him down. They say goodbye to each other and Dylan hits the showers!

That’s Fighting Talk!




Okay, I learnt my lesson. I really did. Yes physically I am capable of dealing with Bilbo no problem, like, I wouldn’t even break a sweat and I could leave him beaten and bruised, no problem. But what my coach demonstrated to me is that physical strength or athleticism isn’t the only way to victory in a wrestling ring, you can have cunning, shock power or even a dildo and can pick up a victory some way or another.

You see I’m in the best shape I have been in for a long time and I have been preparing all year for my debut. I’ve seen the tapes, I’ve watched the streams and every match looks physically exhausting. I’ve prepared for that, I’m still preparing for that, I’m prepared to push my body to its limits and then some to come away victorious here in XWF. But this match isn’t what I’ve prepared for. No, this match is a test on my character and I can’t say I’m enjoying it.

I’m going up against the most disgusting man I have ever heard about, I’m not even sure I want to take the fight. I almost called it quits to tell you the truth, I saw it as a disrespect to my name. Bilbo, the guy who threatens to shit on people, the guy who sniffs his own shit for God’s sake! No, I’m not happy about this but I’m going to do it.
You know somethings though, I actually felt bad for the guy in the beginning but the more I discovered about him the more I grew to dislike him.

Then it dawned on me!

This is an opportunity, I can actually win here. More than just a match. I thought that this situation was a lose-lose but the more I thought about it the more I realised that this was a chance for XWF to get rid of a wrestler that only brings bad press to the company. I could be the guy that retires Bilbo! The more I thought about it the more this match made sense to me. I get to put everyone out their misery. It’s clear that Bilbo doesn’t want to be here any longer, it’s clear to me that any company would see him as a liability with zero marketing value, zero chance of becoming a Universal champion and zero chance of actually picking up a victory.

I really do wish I could wish well for him but I can’t, I despise him as a person and I’m going to take great pleasure being the one to end his career.

Thanks for listening!