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Zane Norrison · (03-31-2020)

"Hey Barney, how's it going, man?"

"You stoked for our upcoming match?"

"Ready to take on an undead abomination?"

"You better be cause it's going to happen."

"On April 8th, 2020. You will find yourself inside the squared circle with a real-life, zombie. This is not an act. I am an animated corpse. Although, I'm not like the ones you see in mainstream, movies and television shows. Stumbling and lurching around, like some kind of brainless, freak. Basically going through the mere motions of existence but otherwise, not really all there. You know what I'm saying? Right? The lights are on but no one's home, style."

"If it isn't obvious, I am capable of thought and fully coherent. I live my afterlife, much like anyone else carries on, in their lives. The only difference is that I have to maintain a diet of human brains. That's right. Human. Animal brains just won't do, when it comes to what I need to consume. But don't worry, fret not... I don't go around killing folks, in order to contain my endless cravings and sustain myself. I work in a morgue and satisfy my insatiable hunger, with the brains of the recently deceased. It's a tad disrespectful and might seem horrible or in poor taste but compared to the alternative, it's a far less awful or terrifying solution for my little cerebellum addiction. Seriously, I would have to go around murdering people, if I didn't obtain my brains the way I do and that's just not right. Don't you agree?"

"Anyway, come the next edition of Wednesday Night Warfare, you and I will meet in the ring and participate in a last man standing match. Which isn't really all that fair to you, considering the fact that you're a living, breathing, breakable human. Whereas I am nearly indestructible and dead. Nothing that you do to me, will effect me in the same fashion that it would, say if I committed those very same acts to you. I am unyielding and relentless. Knock me down and I will get back up. I will keep coming. Non-stop. You will get tired and weaken but it won't matter. I don't get winded or need to catch my breath. I won't grow tired or weary. My stamina is non-stop and endless. I will keep coming at you, until I destroy you."

"No matter how bad you hurt me or however brutal your onslaught upon me is... it won't matter. Break my limbs. Hell, rip them off, why don't you?! It won't matter. I'll keep coming until I've beaten you down and devastated you... so tremendously and thoroughly, you won't be able to continue. Till the brink of death. This I promise you, Barney."

"See you in the ring."

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