Jim walks into an office and sees “him sitting in at a desk
Noah Jackson:
Hey cunt
Jim sits down
Jim:
Hello Noah, you know why I'm here don’t you
Noah Jackson:
I know that your a cunt
Jim:
Change the ref for a kangaroo
Noah Jackson:
Mate, give me one good reason I should get rid of that sick cunt
Jim:
You damn well know why that wallaby has to be taken out, he's going to be a terrible fuckin’ ref
Noah Jackson:
Cunt, shut up mate, Kangaroos are fighters, not ref, wallabies though they are refs
Jim:
DAMMIT, YOU DAMN KNOW THAT KANGAROOS ARE BETTER IN EVERY WAY!
Jim takes a deep breath,
Jim:
We are not having this conversation again, the wallaby is going to be biased and you know it
Noah Jackson:
Mate, a kangaroo would be bias cunt, a wallaby would be a fair ref anywhere
Jim:
You mother fucker. Try to say a sentence without saying cunt
Noah Jackson:
Cunt, I don’t have to listen to you. The wallaby stays no matter what!
Suddenly the door to the office opens
Theo:
What are you doing in my office?
Jim and Noah stay in complete silence
Jim:
……………………….
Noah Jackson:
………………..Cunt
Jim and Noah are sitting in an alleyway outside of the XWF headquarters, they were thrown out by security
Jim:
So, that's not your office
Noah Jackson:
Yeah cunt
Jim:
You were fucking with me the whole time
Noah Jackson:
Yeah Cunt
Jim:
Are you related to Michael Jackson?
Noah Jackson:
Yeah Cunt
Jim:
So…. Fuck sco mo
Noah Jackson:
Fuck sco mo
Noah gets up and leaves the alleyway to do sick cunt things, leaving Jim Jimson alone, sitting in an alleyway, wondering if that was the only sentence that Noah didn't say "cunt" in.
Suddenly he feels a vibration in his pocket. He pulls it out to see, an unknown phone number
Jim:
Hello.
Jimmy:
Hey Jim, It's Jimmy.
Jim:
What do you want? How did you get my number?
Jimmy:
I got your number from Thunder Knuckles. Well, he left his phone laying out and I saw your number. Anyway, I've never seen Thunder Knuckles this excited for a match! Normally he's all bitchy when it comes to studying. I believe it has something to do with you being his tag partner. Maybe I can talk you into doing the match even though a wallaby is a referee for said match.
Jim:
pfft, do you even hear what you are saying, Noah knows what he’s doing, he knows that a wallaby is not as good of a referee as a kangaroo would be. A Kangaroo would be so good at his job, it would be better than a human referee. Ok, lucky for you I have a 700,000-word speech about why Kangaroos are better then wallabies. It all starts during 900BC Where the ancestors of the Kangaroo were roaming..................................
Jim:
And THAT is why Kangaroos are better referees than wallabies.
Jimmy only half-assed listened. A skill he has learned from Thunder Knuckles.
Jimmy:
Umm, okay. I didn't even think about wallabies being "big stupid dumb-dumbs" But maybe, just maybe you should put down your hatred for wallabies for a moment and think about the money you could make here.
Jim:
Well, maybe, you should just shut up! You stupid ass moron!
Jim hangs up. He thinks about his opponents he was meant to face. Then he thinks about why the hell he was even put in a match, with these people. I mean, look at these guys hanging out smoking weed and drinking by themselves, not even with others, just them two. Who does that? Those two should just get married already.
Brian Storm is simply a Jobber in the XWF here to fill out the cards, he's out of shape and instead of trying to hide it with a snazzy Black Polo shirt, this guy shows it off to the world! For all to see! He doesn’t take wrestling seriously. If I was ever in a match with him, I'd slap his teeth out with a pinecone, but I think he would eat the pinecone. Talk about gimmick infringement. Me and TK would be able to destroy him.
Then we got Griffin MacAlister. He's the only real threat in this match, he’s just another person with Superpowers, I already versed one of those guys, and I had him beat. Donovan had to use his air bending powers to beat me. So, if I had to face ANOTHER Donavon, and this time he didn't even have his air bending powers. I think me and TK would beat that guy easily. They talk about how they have been best friends for years. All friendships fall apart. It only takes a little push, you could say facing someone 2 - 1 and getting your arse kicked would make it fall apart pretty fast.
I'm not a bad guy, right? TK can easily beat those chumps, right?
Jim ponders whether or not it's the right thing to do, to leave TK to fight in 2 on 1 on such a big stage like PPV. Suddenly, Jim Jimson is slapped out of his thoughts, by another vibration in his pocket. He looks to see Thunder Knuckles calling him. He picks it up.
Jim:
Listen, im not to do the matc-.
TK:
Hey, Jim I know you don’t want to do the match, but I need some fucking help with this job I'm about to do. All you're gonna need to bring is some sunglasses and a bandana. Oh, and a nice business suit. Have to look good for the camera, you know?
Jim Jimson thinks about helping TK, does he help the guy who he’s about to leave high and dry in a few days? Will he have the heart to-
TK:
Thanks! Also just to be crystal fucking clear and one hundred percent upfront. I'm not giving you a cut of the money.
Nevermind, TK makes the decision for him
Jim:
Wait, are robbing someone?
The phone quickly hangs up and Jim is left in his alleyway waiting for days to pass.
7x Heavymetalweight champin
1x Federweight champion
XWF record
8-12
Universal record 13-24
The relatives of Jim Jimson
Jimmy Jimson
Jim Johnson
James Jimson
J. Jonah Jimson
Jimmy Jimmy
Jimbo Jimson
Jimbo Baggins
Jackenhoffer Jiminez
Jimmy Jimmerson
Jim Jimbo
James (Jim) J. Jimson
Jim Jimseruno
Jim Jackstiener
Jericho
Jimmy Jim
Jim of the Nine Eastern Stars of Terrafourn
Jim Jaghofferson
Jimbo
Jim "James 'Jim' Jimson" Jimson
Jimmy Jimbo Jimbob
Pinecone Jimson
Jimdick Jagoffboy
James Jimson
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John Jameson
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Jim Jimjimjimjimjimjimjimjim
Jiminson
Jimothy
Big Daddy Meat Jimson
Tiny Daddy Meat Jimson
Jim Jopson
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Jimbo Jimsmith (formerly a Doctor)
Jim Jimmy the Jim Jimmerson
Jim Jimpegmyassrawohbabyohbabyohbaby
Jimmy Jim Jimmer Jimbosen Jiminez the dolphin rapper
Jim Jim Jim Jimson Son Son
Jim Jon Un
Tangy Tangerine
Animal Jim
Jimbo Jimson Chang
Jimbo Jimson the Chang
Jimbo Jimson Jang
Hey
You wanna see my cool new banner
Well.....
Here it is
What... you don't like it
Well I tried my best you fucking piece of shit you don't have to make fun of it you little bitch
You thought something was down here huh. Well, you must be pretty dumb. Maybe you should go check-up in the text for the pins
During all Business Enquires please refer to Mr. Jimson as "Small Daddy Meat Jimson" to assure business professionalism.
oh wait
they got rid of the Heavymetalweight championship because appartenly they hate fun at XWF headquaters smh shaking my head rn